Undergraduate / New engineering experience--Extracurricular Essay [4]

Please expand upon an aspect (s) of your academic or extra-curricular background that you feel is especially important to you and that will help us to get to know you as a person Char limit: 5000.

As soon as my sophomore year was over, my father offered me the possibility to work with him at his office in the engineering area of the Banco Popular Dominicano during the summer. I did not hesitate to answer his proposal with an ecstatic "Of course!" It seemed like the perfect way to past time during the long summer vacations. Still, it turned out to be more than just a past-time activity; it was a life-changing experience. During my stay in his office, I learned more about personal values, project managing, and the construction process than any time before in my life. I must admit the job was exhausting at times and that it sometimes drained all of my energy, but it provided me with a satisfaction that I hardly find in any other activities. However, the work with my father not only provided me with great satisfaction, it also educated me in great extent. It made me grow more independent, mature, and entrepreneur, as many times I had to perform activities that required the most of my skills and abilities to be completed adequately and accurately. Moreover, the job opened my eyes to the world of engineering and served as a trigger that ignited in me a great passion for the field.

At the job, I got to know every person involved in the process of construction. Every single professional, from the technician to the architect, performed a task of extreme importance, without which a whole project could have collapsed. Each one of them performed their jobs with integrity and responsibility, values that I was able to learn, and that I started to apply on the work and on my life. During my stay, I formed part of this working team; I worked as an assistant and helped in the creation of blueprints for future projects. I was new to the task of designing, but I gave all my effort to perform it as well as I could. I sat for hours using various computer programs that helped me in the creation of the blueprints, and many times I had to make research to learn to use the programs. This was the part of the job in which I gained dependency. I was given a task and I never stood up of my chair until I performed it. With my own skills and endeavor to execute my job, I finished every single blueprint that I was assigned to create.

In many other occasions, my father took me to construction areas. During one of these visits I was able to perceive the great amount of concentration everyone put into doing their job perfectly. Seeing this scenario, I felt the urge to ask my father: "Why do they put so much concentration and effort into performing their tasks?" And my father responded with an answer I will always remember: "Because the lives of the people that are going to reside in this building are at our hands." At that moment I understood what engineering was actually about: giving your knowledge and endeavor to constantly seek for solutions to problems and ways to help others.

During most of my visits to construction areas, my father gave me certain tasks to perform. "Put that over there. Measure the height of that column. Calculate the amount of concrete needed. Create a sheet with the budgets of the day!" These are only few of the many commands that I received. The important things are not the activities themselves, but the things that I got to learn from them. For example, while making the budget sheet I was given the task of trying to figure out a way to reduce the costs of the day by allocating the resources efficiently. While performing this task my knowledge in economics and finance boosted, and I understood the real importance of project managing and the management of resources. Furthermore, most of the activities cleared my mind of stress. They awakened a feeling of excitement in me, a feeling that aroused because of the passion I have for math and physics.

This job was really important to me because it succeeded in showing me what my true passions really are, while at the same time giving me a new perspective of engineering. Rather than being just an interesting career for the future, it became a closer, more obtainable field of study. I now see it as one of the most valuable areas of study, as it connects the professional with the society and the rest of the world. Working with my father taught me many valuable lessons that cannot be found even on the most advanced classes at school. It was really a life-changing experience.

**Accepting any kind of critiques. PLease tell me if its weak, what it lacks, what I should eliminate, what I should add, if it lacks smoothness, consistency, if it is out of topic, ANYTHING!!! (and Grammar :P)**

Undergraduate / "Working with my father" - Georgia Tech Extracurricular Activity [2]

Please expand upon an aspect (s) of your academic or extra-curricular background that you feel is especially important to you and that will help us to get to know you as a person Char limit: 5000.

As soon as my sophomore year was over, my father offered me the possibility to work with him at his office in the engineering area of the Banco Popular Dominicano during the summer. I did not hesitate to answer his proposal with an ecstatic "Of course!" It seemed like the perfect way to past time during the long summer vacations. Still, it turned out to be more than just a past-time activity; it was a life-changing experience. During my stay in his office, I learned more about personal values, project managing, and the construction process than any time before in my life. I must admit the job was exhausting at times and that it sometimes drained all of my energy, but it provided me with a satisfaction that I hardly find in any other activities. However, the work with my father not only provided me with great satisfaction, it also educated me in great extent. It made me grow more independent, mature, and entrepreneur, as many times I had to perform activities that required the most of my skills and abilities to be completed adequately and accurately. Moreover, the job opened my eyes to the world of engineering and served as a trigger that ignited in me a great passion for the field.

At the job, I got to know every person involved in the process of construction. Every single professional, from the technician to the architect, performed a task of extreme importance, without which a whole project could have collapsed. Each one of them performed their jobs with integrity and responsibility, values that I was able to learn, and that I started to apply on the work and on my life. During my stay, I formed part of this working team; I worked as an assistant and helped in the creation of blueprints for future projects. I was new to the task of designing, but I gave all my effort to perform it as well as I could. I sat for hours using various computer programs that helped me in the creation of the blueprints, and many times I had to make research to learn to use the programs. This was the part of the job in which I gained dependency. I was given a task and I never stood up of my chair until I performed it. With my own skills and endeavor to execute my job, I finished every single blueprint that I was assigned to create.

In many other occasions, my father took me to construction areas. During one of these visits I was able to perceive the great amount of concentration everyone put into doing their job perfectly. Seeing this scenario, I felt the urge to ask my father: "Why do they put so much concentration and effort into performing their tasks?" And my father responded with an answer I will always remember: "Because the lives of the people that are going to reside in this building are at our hands." At that moment I understood what engineering was actually about: giving your knowledge and endeavor to constantly seek for solutions to problems and ways to help others.

During most of my visits to construction areas, my father gave me certain tasks to perform. "Put that over there. Measure the height of that column. Calculate the amount of concrete needed. Create a sheet with the budgets of the day!" These are only few of the many commands that I received. The important things are not the activities themselves, but the things that I got to learn from them. For example, while making the budget sheet I was given the task of trying to figure out a way to reduce the costs of the day by allocating the resources efficiently. While performing this task my knowledge in economics and finance boosted, and I understood the real importance of project managing and the management of resources. Furthermore, most of the activities cleared my mind of stress. They awakened a feeling of excitement in me, a feeling that aroused because of the passion I have for math and physics.

This job was really important to me because it succeeded in showing me what my true passions really are, while at the same time giving me a new perspective of engineering. Rather than being just an interesting career for the future, it became a closer, more obtainable field of study. I now see it as one of the most valuable areas of study, as it connects the professional with the society and the rest of the world. Working with my father taught me many valuable lessons that cannot be found even on the most advanced classes at school. It was really a life-changing experience.

**Accepting any kind of critiques. PLease tell me if its weak, what it lacks, what I should eliminate, what I should add, if it lacks smoothness, consistency, if it is out of topic, ANYTHING!!! (and Grammar :P)**

Undergraduate / "the use of Physics and Mathematics concepts" - MIT Department Essay [6]

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 word o fewer)

Even looking for explanation to the most trivial things, like the reason why the sound of my guitar strings is more acute when they are tightened, amuses me. It seems like everything can be explained with the use of Physics and Mathematics concepts. It is of my interest to be able to apply the knowledge I have on these fields to seek for solutions to the broadest and most pivotal issues the world is presently facing. Just thinking that many lives can be saved if the quality of infrastructures increases and if the construction of anti-seismic buildings came to shine inspires me.

I know that at MIT's Civil and Environmental Engineering Department, Course 1-C, my structural, computational, and engineering skills will be taken to new heights. Through extensive research in the so many labs found in this department, including the Parsons Laboratory of Environmental Engineering, and the complex team-oriented projects, my ability to come up with solutions to society's problems will develop drastically and my path to a better world will form.

Please check for redundancy, grammar, structure, smoothness, specificity, and goodness :P!!
Thanks i advance I really appreciate your time :) By the way is kind of long so please help me reduce it ><!

Undergraduate / "Maintaining good grades" - Challenge Essay-- MIT [5]

Maintaining good grades has always been my goal, but for a couple of years the attainment of this goal became really hard. When I was just ten years old, I was transferred from a school where Spanish was the main language to a bilingual school. The first years at my new school were extremely difficult. Much of the time I was not able to understand my teachers, because I had little skills at comprehending and speaking English. I recall that one time when my Reading teacher assigned us a project in which we had to create a story and then dramatize it. I found this task almost impossible to make. Luckily, I got the help of my classmate Valentina. If Valentina did not help me that one time, I am sure I would have failed the class. My lack of English skills caused my grades to crumble down drastically, but I did not allow this to bring my spirit down too. I was determined to keep my record of good grades, so I gave all the energy of my mind and body to achieve this goal.

Since that project, I partook in getting ahead on my own two feet. Every day after school was over, I went to take English classes for three hours straight. Afterwards I went home and did all my homework with the help of a dictionary and my computer. Just after finishing my homework, I practiced my English vocabulary until late at night. My mother always told me: "You are stressing yourself too much, your body needs rest." Luckily, I did not pay attention to her comments because my hard effort was giving good results. My English proficiency was gradually getting better, and as a result my grades increased each evaluation period. After two years of intense practice, I was able to speak and understand English perfectly, and I became one of the top students of my class.

Version 2:
"We are going to transfer you to a Bilingual School" As soon as those words came out of my parents' mouth, fear and sadness consumed me. I had no skills at understanding or comprehending the English Language, so my goal of always keeping good grades was at risk. As I expected, my first years at my new school were extremely challenging. Most of the time I was not able to understand my teachers, because of my poor English proficiency. I recall that one time when my Reading teacher assigned us a project in which we had to create a story and then dramatize it. I found this task almost impossible to make. Luckily, I got the help of my classmate, Valentina. If Valentina didn't help me that one time, I am sure I would have failed the class. During the first evaluation periods, my grades went down drastically, but I did not allow this to bring my spirit down too. I was determined to increase my grades, so I gave all the energy of my mind and body to achieve this goal.

Since that project, I partook in getting ahead on my own two feet. Every afternoon after school was over, I took English classes for three hours straight, looking to improve my English skills. After the class was over, I headed home and I did my homework, always with the help of an English to Spanish dictionary. Afterwards, I practiced my English vocabulary until it was late at night. My days seemed endless and they were exhausting, but my great effort was giving results. My English proficiency was gradually getting better, and my grades were improving. After two years of intense practice, I was able to speak and understand English perfectly, and I became one of the top students of my class. No longer my work depended on the help of the dictionary or on the assistance of Valentina.

Everything is welcomed :)!!

Undergraduate / (passion for music) MIT World+ Personality (focus on my goals) + Pleasure Prompts! [2]

#1 We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

I have a great passion for music. It provides me with satisfaction that I hardly find in other activities. Listening to it disconnects me from the outside world and from my stressful life. When I'm tense, I plug in my earphones and listen to my favorite bands. This single act reliefs all my stress and anxieties. Furthermore, when my academic activities drain all my energy, I often grab my guitar. Playing it amuses and reliefs me, as if my stress flows out of my body with every single note I play and with every single strum I make. Music is like a new world for me, a world where I reach a state of peacefulness and tranquility.

#3 What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about.

I was nine years old; I was crying because I couldn't memorize the capitals of all the American countries for a test I had the next day. It seemed impossible for me to retain all the information in my head, but soon I realized that crying and stressing out was not the solution. I calmed down and pondered on an advice my dad once gave me: "Never block yourself in front of difficult situations" Suddenly, I dried up my tears, cleared my mind, and focused on the test material. The next day I got an excellent grade on my test. That one little grade on the test didn't really matter, but what really matters is that it ignited in me the aspect of my personality that I am presently most proud of: perseverance.

Many times in my academic and personal life I've been a the point of surrender, but I always focus on my goals, reflect upon what is stopping me, and try to come up with a solution. When I was in eighth grade I had to do a science fair project about the chemical element of palladium and its effects on nature. The experiment I intended to perform required the use of a piece of palladium, but it was scarce in my country. I looked in every store, and finally was able to find one, just a day before the experiment was due. That night I stood up until 3:00 AM making my experiment work. The next day I won 2nd place in the science fair, proving to me that my perseverance has opened my path to success.

#4 Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?

I was raised in a country where...

Any suggestions, corrections (in grammar, context, transition of ideas, smoothness, out-of-topic, too broad, too narrow, ANYTHING) is welcomed! Thanks a lot in advance! :)

Undergraduate / Engineering and Dad's Influence - Princeton Essays [6]

Any suggestions are welcomed!! Any insults as well :P! Please review one or both :)!!

1)If you are interested in pursuing a B.S.E. (Bachelor of Science in Engineering) degree, please write an essay describing why you are interested in studying engineering, any experiences in or exposure to engineering you have had, and how you think the programs in engineering offered at Princeton suit your particular interests.

Blueprints, metric rulers, buildings, and infrastructures are things that my father, as a civil engineer, has exposed me to since I was a little kid. Ever since then, I've found construction and engineering really interesting. Still, as I grew up I got more exposed to the field of engineering, and I've gained another perspective of it. Rather than just seeing it as simply interesting, I see it as one of the most important areas of study, as it prompts the professional to constantly seek for solutions to society's problems. This, specifically, is what attracts me the most to engineering, because seeking solutions and explanations through the use of mathematical and scientific knowledge is one of my passions. Even looking for explanation to the most trivial things, like the reason why the sound of my guitar strings is more acute when they are tightened, amazes me. My exposure to the field and my inclination and skills in areas such as physics and mathematics, have shaped my decision of becoming a civil engineer. Furthermore, in comparison to other careers, it will offer me a vast variety of work opportunities. It will allow me to work in fields such as project management, construction management, or even finance. Engineering will prepare me for the world, and its wide range of specializations will allow me to develop as a complete and versatile professional.

After finishing my sophomore year, my father offered me the possibility to work with him at his office in the engineering area of the Banco Popular Dominicano. I did not hesitate to answer his proposal with an ecstatic "Of course!" At his office I got to know every person involved in the building process of a bank's faculty. Every single professional, from the technician to the architect, performed a task of extreme importance, without which a whole project could have collapsed. During my stay, I formed part of this working team; I worked as an assistant and helped in the creation of blueprints of future projects. In many occasions, my father took me with him to construction areas. During these visits, my father always gave me certain tasks to perform that ranged from making a variety of measurements to preparing a budget sheet with all the costs of the day. The activities ignited a feeling of excitement in me, a feeling that aroused because of the passion I have for math, physics, and engineering in general. All these activities taught me much about engineering, shaping my career decision and making me aware of what my true passions are.

In addition to my work experience, the challenges and issues the world faces today and my desire to attain certain personal goals have strengthened my decision of becoming a civil engineer. Presently, civil engineers face the challenge of trying to come up with a building method to deal with the urban growth without damaging the environment. This challenge captures my attention, and I would like to actively participate in the search of innovative solutions to it that will contribute to the creation of a "greener" world. Additionally, studying civil engineering will help me attain my personal goal of founding and owning a company in Construction Management in association with my father.

At Princeton University my interests will be satisfied and my goals will become a reality. Princeton University will provide me with rigorous civil and environmental engineering programs that will help me develop my knowledge in engineering, sciences, and environmental preservation in a way that not many universities can do. Furthermore, Princeton gives the student the opportunity of specializing as Structural Engineers, a specialization that will help me attain my goal of seeking for a better world as it prepares the student to address the main problems of modern engineering. Princeton also encourages and provides the best environment for extensive research and experimentations, along with programs that let the students interact with real engineering companies. These programs and researches will let me aid society, while at the same time they will expand my knowledge and shape my path to the world.

2)"Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way."

The one person who has influenced me the most is my father. He has altered my way of thinking, confronting challenges, and seeing the world around me.

Throughout my whole life my father has always been present. Often, when I do something, there is a saying of his in my head. This is true for small thing, like conserving energy. Ever since I was little he has told me: "Always turn off the lights when you are not using them. It is important to save energy." Nowadays, I find myself confirming twice that I have turned off all the lights before I leave a room.

Then, there is his advice on longer issues, like how to confront challenges. Once, when I was 9 years old, I was crying because I couldn't memorize the capitals of all the American countries for a test. My dad sat beside me and told me: "Never block yourself in front of difficult situations." After hearing his advice, I dried my tears, cleared my mind of negative thoughts, and focused on the test material I had to study. The next day I got an excellent grade on my test. That one little grade on the test didn't really matter, but I still remember my dad's advice when confronting bigger challenges like loosing or getting apart from a close relative, for example, my grandparents; preventing conflicts with my friends, or making hard decisions, like whether or not to enroll in all the AP classes at my school. Even when math problems seem to have no solution, or when it seems impossible to memorize the dates of United States Civil War Battles, I think of the advice my dad gave me, and I try to come up with the solution.

My father has also changed my view of the world. Every morning he reads out loud the title of a newspaper article that he finds important, and that he believes I must hear. The articles he reads are often about people who die in my country because of poverty or bad life conditions. At first I paid little attention and interest to his readings. I thought it was senseless, and I found everything he read had nothing to do with me, but I was wrong. Now, I understand he read these titles to give men an image about the actual world we live in, a world full of poverty, world hunger, conflicts, wars. My father wanted to enlighten me with sad, but true, facts about the world I'm going to be exposed in some years, and which I will have to fight all by myself. My father has given me a new and more humane perspective of the world. This new perspective has shaped my life goal: become a renowned engineer and make a difference in the world, always seeking for the good of the society.

I may never have to face some of the personal challenges my father faced as a kid like loosing his parents in hands of incurable diseases, loosing his brother in an accident, or suffering due to low life conditions caused by lack of resources and money. However, I've learned from his experiences and I try to emulate the values that made him the prosperous men he is today. His success has taught me that one must always be optimistic and perseverant to accomplish what is desired. Many times I've been at the point of surrender, but I always reflect upon what's stopping me and try to come up with a solution to the issue. For example, when I was in eighth grade I had to do a science fair project about the chemical element of palladium and its effects on nature. The experiment I intended to perform required the use of a piece of palladium, but it was scarce in my country. The week before the science fair was due I still didn't have the palladium, but I did not surrender, I kept on looking in every store. Finally, I was able to find one, just a day before the experiment was due. That night I stood up until 3:00 AM making my experiment work, and it did. The next day I won 2nd place in the science fair. Once again, what really matters is not the recognition I received, but the way my father has altered my way of approaching issues and challenges.

Furthermore, my father's career as an engineer has exposed me to the field, and I have developed great interest and skills in the area. In addition, his great dexterity in math, physics, and project management has inspired me to follow his steps.

My father has been one of the most influential figures in my life. Not only because he provides me with a great education, but also because he gives me support in every situation I face. He has changed my vision of the world and has always inspired me to do the correct thing and to care about others. His success, his values, and his numerous advices have shaped the person I presently am.

Undergraduate / "a country where everyone seeks for success" - MIT Describe your World [8]

Prompt: Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (200-250 words)

I come from a country where everyone seeks for success, but where no one cares about the development of the society as a whole. A place where one is able to spot kids on the streets dying of hunger, and people drowning in money that pay minimal attention to their surroundings. I come from a country where buildings do not even meet the 'minimum level of safety' requirement and where the construction of low quality infrastructures has spread rapidly. I come from a world I'd like to change. I want to be able to ameliorate the issues and flaws I'm exposed to in my society. For this reason I want to study engineering, to be able to apply my mathematical and scientific abilities to seek for innovative solutions to the problems the world is presently facing.

Every morning on my way to school I'm able to spot the image of poor kids sitting in front of poorly constructed houses, some of which do not even have windows, roofs, or doors. Houses are meant to provide shelter and protection, but these houses are not even near to offering these privileges to its inhabitants. Someday I wish I could be able to stand in front of the people living on these houses and say "I'm here to help!" Studying civil engineering will make this wish a reality, as it will strengthen my skills in mathematics, science and construction, which I could use for the building of new residences and for the establishment of a new world.

I accept any kind of help! Critiques, Insults (:P), Grammar correction, redundancy corrections, Detailed corrections. Specially: Context correction and Transition of ideas correction!! THANKS a lot in advance :)