Writing Feedback / IELTS: Extra coaching classes [NEW]

Topic: Nowadays children are joining extra coaching classes apart from their school studies. Some think it is important for their future, while others think the extra time should be spent for playing. Do you agree or disagree?

In order to improve their education, children are participating in extra classes after school instead of spending time playing. This has raised a heated debate around the world whether it is a positive or negative development. Some people believe extra coaching classes lead to good job prospect, whereas others hold a distinctive view and think that children should spend their spare time on leisure activities. In my opinion, I believe that students should join extra classes if they are poor in particular subjects.

In fact, many students have difficulty to keep up with other students in their class, so going to extra classes is an ideal way to fill in the part of lessons they do not understand. In addition, as extra coaching classes generally specialize in a particular subject, the teaching method is much more better than at school and students are able to practice solving exercise problems from a variety of resource. Although self-study is also an effective way to improve their study, some students find it hard to practice this method because the lack of resource for practice problems solving and someone to explain to them.

Furthermore, in the extra coaching classes, students can also improve their social skill, which is very important in their lives and usually requires in almost every career. Even though spare time after school studies should be spent on playing or other leisure activities, children can also do these activities at the weekend and spend the weekdays studying hard. Besides, the break time between classes allows students to play games and do some leisure activities such as reading books or listening to music.

To sum up, participating in extra classes can help students in their study a great deal and they will get result after studying extra time. However, students should not overwork themselves and should spend the weekend on some leisure activities apart from study so as to refreshing their mind and relax.

Welcome all kinds of feedback. Thank you in advance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: News editors are objective and have their own agendas on what to publish [NEW]

Topic: News editors decide what to broadcast on TV and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence their decisions? Have we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?

These days, mass media such as televisions, radios, newspapers and the Internet has played a key role in broadcasting news and giving information about the situations around the globe. The news is usually chosen carefully by news editors before it is broadcasted on TV, radios or posted on the Internet or printed in the newspapers. There are a number of aspects that influence their decision on which news the public should be aware of.

The main factor for this decision is that the chosen news must be about new and unexpected situations, which the public are curious about. For example, a bank robbery is a rare situation that happens, so it usually attracts many people curiosity. However, some crimes such as burglary and theft happen almost all the time, thus they become uninteresting topics and news editors only publish such news once a while. In addition, news that can be used as a warning or to educate people is generally picked up in order to improve the moral or to notify people against any hazards. For instance, the news of a traffic accident caused by reckless and drunk driver is broadcasted or printed so as to warn those who are drunk and dare to drive or drive recklessly. Additionally, news of a widespread disease is a warning for people in the infected area to protect themselves from getting that disease.

It is believed that we used to get bad news such as accidents, economic crisis, disasters and crimes all the time. Although there are good news, the amount of bad news is much more than the good ones. Some people are having depression and stress due to the knowledge of bad news. However, if more good news is reported, people might be bored of them soon because everyone wants to hear or know about new situations, which are sometimes from the bad news.

To conclude, the decision of news editors what news should be chosen bases on a lot of factors. In my view, I think we have become use to bad news. If good news is reported once in a while, it will help to encourage people to be more optimistic in their life. However, good news should not be published too frequently or it will become a wearisome topic.

I welcome all feedback. Thank you in advance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Funding artists or spending money on other important subjects? [2]

Topic: Some people think that government should spend money on other important subjects rather helping artists. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, in order to save as much budget as possible and improve the economy of the country, every government around the world is seeking for some ways to spend wisely. Therefore, there is a suggestion that governments should not continue to fund the artists, but they ought to spend money on other necessary subjects such as medical research and space. In my view, I firmly disagree with this recommendation due to several reasons.

The main reason why I believe artists should be funded is because art helps to improve the quality of our lives as well as attracting tourists. For example, monuments that represent each city do not only illustrate the city's history and culture, but also make the city more beautiful and an attractive place for tourists. In fact, some countries depend on tourism as their main source of revenue, thus, the governments should help arts because their work crafts are very necessary to boost the tourist industry.

In addition, sculptures and paintings in the museums and art galleries generally reflect the culture and civilization of every generation. Therefore, culture and history of a country can be reserved and assured by art. Young people are also able to get more knowledge about their country's history and culture by observing various work crafts.

Another reason why artists should be helped is because talent in art is extremely precious and should not be wasted. Indeed, not many people are blessed in the talent of paintings and work crafts. Hence, this type of talent has to be valued as other types of talents such as talent in science or literature.

To sum up, art is a very valuable object for every country and the talent in this area cannot be discovered everywhere, so I think governments should help and encourage artists to continue their work.

All correction and suggestions are welcomed. Thanks in advance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: There are many effective ways to motivate employees [4]

Topic: Paying more money is the only possible motivation to make employees work harder and to increase their productivity. Do you agree? Give reasons and include relevant examples.

Nowadays, many companies are seeking for various ways to encourage their employees to work harder and increase the output. Some people think that the only possible solution is to give the workers more bonuses. However, in my opinion, I disagree with this idea and believe that there are a number of more effective ways to motivate employees.

One of the possible solutions is to praise and say encouraging words to workers who perform well on their jobs. If this is done, those who have already given satisfied results for their jobs will feel more confident and put all their effort in their next work task. In addition, many other employees in the company will feel more challenging and work harder in order to perform well as their colleagues.

Another effective way is to reduce working hours of employees. In fact, most people are under pressure and stressed due to long working hours, which causes their productivity to decline. It is strongly believed that workers will work harder to increase their work output if they have sufficient time to relax and less stress.

The last, but not the least solution is to create a strong bond within a company. Generally, unity is regarded as an extremely important factor if a group of people want to achieve something. Furthermore, people seem to work harder and do better in a peaceful working atmosphere and there is no argument between staff or with the employer.

Taking everything into account, there are many effective motivations to make employe.es concentrate more on their jobs and do better in their work. If all these solutions are put into action, I feel certain that the result will be satisfactory.

All comments will be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Impact of cooking subject [3]

Topic: In some schools or colleges, cooking is taught to both boys and girls. How does it affect people's habits in their adult life?

Cooking is a subject that is generally taught to children at home by their parents. However, in some schools or colleges, children of all genders are able to learn to cook from their teachers. This change will influence people's routine when they become adults.

The main effect of the introduction of cooking subject at school to all children is the raise of awareness of girl's job. Therefore, men will understand the difficulty of their wives' work and will offer to share housework with their wives after married, which provides more free time for their wives to participate in various kinds of activities in society. In fact, sharing the cooking chore does not only help to ease the pressure of housework on women, but also bring happiness to the family because sharing is a method of expressing love. For example, as the husband and the wife take turn to cook the meals, both of them will be able to have time to give advice and interact with their children, so the children will not feel neglected and be raised up well and have good manner.

In addition, teaching cooking to both genders can eliminate the sex discrimination in society. In fact, cooking was regarded as girl's job in the past and was taught to girls only. Thus, as it is taught to both boys and girls, the equity of both genders is illustrated through this and girls are not discriminated by their community.

Furthermore, if people know how to cook food themselves, they will now enjoy going to restaurants, which will save a lot of money. Indeed, those who know how to cook have more pleasure with the hand-made food than the restaurant food because they feel safe and proud of the food they cook themselves.

To sum up, educating cooking at school to both boys and girls is a very positive development and it has a lot of good impacts on people's habit in their adult life. It makes men to be able to share housework with their wives as well as eliminating gender discrimination in society.

I appreciate all comments. Thanks in advance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Citizen's responsibilities [5]

Topic: Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. Discuss, what is your opinion?

There is a controversial debate around the world about the duties of citizen. Some people believe that paying tax is the only responsibility of citizens, while others disagree and think that being a person in society involves more responsibilities.

Taxes are the income for every country in the world and they are extremely important for developing countries. If people are paying taxes, that means they are taking part in the development of their country as well as the country's economy. Therefore, they have fulfilled their duty as a citizen.

Some people argue that individuals of a country are responsible for many other things apart from paying tax. In fact, in order to develop a country, citizens must obey laws, which were imposed by the government. In this way, the crime rate is reduced and society becomes a peaceful place, so the country will develop at a rapid pace. Furthermore, being a citizen in society should protect the country's culture and history. For instance, people should have knowledge about their own culture and history by studying at school with full concentration or reading them from books. On the other hand, a person has to unite with other people in the community so as to develop their nation. Indeed, if people in society have a strong bond with each other, society will become a peaceful place, where people are helping and sharing to each other.

Taking everything into account, I strongly believe that being a citizen involves in a number of duties, other than paying taxes. People in society must do more than paying taxes to contribute to their society.

I appreciate all advice and correction. Thank you in advance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Teenager or adult years are the happiest? [2]

Topic: Some people think that teenager years are the happiest years in a person's life. Others believe adult life is much more happier despite of the family responsibilities. Discuss both, what is your opinion?

Nowadays, the discussion which years in a person's life are the happiest is highly debatable. Some people consider that adolescent years are the most contented years in a person's life, whilst many other people think that life as a grown-up is a lot more delighted even though there are many family duties.

In fact, young people of age 13 to 19 years old do not have much responsibility because their livings are depending on their parents or guardians. They do not have the responsibility to earn their living as adults. During those years, the main duty that a person has to do is to study hard. In addition, as there are not so many accountability, teenagers have a lot of spare time apart from their study. They are able to do as many leisure activities as they want to such as watching TV, reading books, and playing games.

However, adolescents' freedoms are controlled by their parents or guardians. For instance, if they want to do something, they need to ask for permission from their parents or guardians first.

On the other hand, adults have a lot of independence, which means that they are able to do everything they would like to do without being controlled by their parents. Moreover, as adults can earn money for their own living, their money could be spent freely.

One downside of being a grown-up is that they have a number of family responsibilities such as earning income and child-rearing, so adults do not have much free time as teenagers. Although they have freedom, they are unable to spend it on their leisure activities due to their busy work and many duties.

Overall, there are many different factors that make teenagers and adults' lives the happiest. In my view, I personally agree that being a teenager is more delightful than an adult despite the lack of freedom and independence.

Please give me some advice about the organization, grammatical error, and appropriate words (formal and academic words) to use in this essay. Thank you in advance.

Writing Feedback / Stay-at-home parents should be paid by the government? [5]

Topic: There are parents who decide to stay home and look after their families, mostly mothers. Some argue that the government should pay stay-at-home parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In order to improve the living standard of their families, both parents go to work everyday. However, there are some parents who make a decision to stay at home and take care of their families. Most of them are mothers. Some people believe that the government should pay those stay-at-home parents. In my opinion, I agree with this idea.

Parents who stay at home have many household chores to do. Some people say that doing housework is harder than working in the office because housework is a boring and difficult job. Thus, all stay-at home parents should be paid as those who work in the office.

Moreover, a family that has a stay-at-home parent generally has more happiness than a family that has both parents working. In fact, stay-at-home parents do not only provide warmth to their families, but also contribute to the society as well. To illustrate, children that have stay-at-home parents usually perform well in class and study hard as parents are great help in improving their children's education. In addition, when a child has a parent who stays at home, he or she generally has good manners and is advised to know what is right and what is wrong. Therefore, there is a decrease in the rate of juvenile delinquency, which occur because both parents are occupied in their work and the lack of interaction between children and parents. Furthermore, children are healthier if their parents stay at home with them. They can have nutritional food everyday and get treatment immediately if they have a particular illness.

All things consider, I hold the view that the government ought to pay stay-at-home parents because those parents bring abundant advantages to both their families and society.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniform [9]

Please help me to correct this essay.

Topic: Some companies and organizations require their employees to wear uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniform?

Nowadays, wearing uniform is an obligation in some companies and organizations. They demand their staff to wear uniform because they believe that it has a lot of advantages. However, some others disagree. In fact, wearing uniform has both merits and demerits.

One of many advantages is that wearing uniform can distinguish employees of different companies and organizations, so we are able to know practically which company or organization an employee is in. Indeed, uniform is a representation of a company or an organization. Another good point of wearing uniform is that it can promote the brands of the companies and the names of the organizations to be known by more people. Moreover, there is a strong bond between staff who wears the same uniform. Actually, uniform is able to encourage employees in a company or an organization to cooperate and work hard together because they feel that they belong to the same group of people and are not left out. In addition, wearing uniform at work will reduce distraction and increase productivity. Generally, people do not feel interested in looking at the clothes that are the same as their own, so they do not distract from their work and they might work harder. The last, but not least, is that wearing uniform will help those people who are indecisive about what clothes they should wear in their workplace. For example, a person may feel relax when he or she sees that he or she does not wear clothes which are lower standard than the other workers. Thus, every worker feel equal in their workplace.

Everything in the world is like the double-edge weapon and wearing uniform is not an exceptional, despite many plus sides. One minus side is that some workers do not want to wear uniform that their companies or organizations require them to wear. Therefore, they might feel uneasy at work and their productivity might decline. Additionally, wearing uniform limit self-expression and the individuality. For example, a person would like to wear clothes that are suitable for her, so she is able to show her beautiful figure, but she could not wear them due to the wearing-uniform rule of her company. Another disadvantage of wearing the same clothes in the company or organization is that people will be bored with their working atmosphere because everyone wears the same things.

In conclusion, the advantages of wearing uniform outweigh the disadvantages. As far as I am concerned, I think the demerit of wearing uniform at work can be avoided if there is a discussion about the kind of uniform that satify both the manager and the staff in the company or the organization.