Writing Feedback /
The ideal teacher: a missionary [4]
Hei Mirele! :D
I read your essay and here are my corrections. Good luck!
TheA teacher is the person who
not only sows
not only the seeds of knowledge in his student, but
he also
he has a
ninfluence(1) upon their attitude toward the school, the people and the world that surround us. He has also a special
influence in modeling his students, their features and their character.
That is why
teacher profession(/being a good teacher; becoming a teacher)demands(/requires) many skills and abilities and
if these skills arewere innate, that would be ideal.(2)Not everyone can practice this
profession that
demands a life surrounded by children.
(Not everyone is made to spend the rest of their life surrounded by children.)So,I n my opinion, the person who wishes to become a good teacher should not only
to want it , but
tohe should identify himself with the job. He must love children and meet their needs. That kind of
teacherperson should sum up the qualities
of not only
of a teacher, but also
those of a psychologist and pedagogue.
O ne of the twenty
century'scenturies' psychologist
s , J
. Boucher, wrote
that: "P edagogy can be an effective art only if it back
son the psychology.
"I think that an innate teacher should have an
innate prone(3) to this profession, which cannot be well done if the pleasure of doing it
lacksdoes not exist . Another essential
condition(/capability)(4) is patience, because not all the children have the ability of immediately understanding.
T he communicative competence is another feature of
the ideal teacher
with innate qualities(you already mentioned that the ideal teacher has innate qualities) .
I f he has a great amount of knowledge, but he doesn't know how to transmit it, the students will be the ones who
will lose.
[In the last phrase you have the following two sentences: "... the studentswill bethe ones1/ wholose.2/" You need to think logically here: if you use the future tense in your first sentence, then I think it's only natural to use the future in your attributive clause as well.]He has to feel, not only the lesson,
_ but also the best way of transmitting
thisit(the lesson). He has to know
how to introduce in his lesson the esthetical dimension, that
will sensitize
s the students, and encourage them to learn. In the other words
, he has to be
ingenious, clever and inventive(inventive and ingenious are synonyms, you don't need to mention both), because it is him
thatwho will determine
a lesson
's success,
and not lesson's structure (traditional or modern)(?) .
So(/Therefore), in order to
do attractive and interesting lessons(/make lessons appealing and interesting) he has to be multitasking and
to havemaintain a good cooperation with his students as well.
When I mention "cooperation", I mean not only
,(why the comma here?) good teaching methods, but also a very good
comprehension of class management.
H e should intervene with respect and discreetly in different
behaviour problem
sevents to prove tolerance and to have a
n appropriate working time.
I n my opinion
, a good teacher should often use humour and never sarcasm or irony. He should act in such a way that the different class events follow
according to a continuous and clear
ly logic
(5) , in a relaxed atmosphere, conductive to
a good learning.
[In any adult theory this sounds good. But what you ask for is actually impossible, because we are not driven by reason, but by emotion.]On the other hand, taking into account that each
and every child is unique, the teacher must be a good psychologist and he has to know the potential of each student. He has to
guide the students' efforts(/help the students at setting their goals),
to encourage them and
to work
aton their affective side in order to stimulate their
confidence and their
self- esteem(confidence and self-esteem are synonyms).
The teacher is always a missionary.
["And I can promise a sunny future for the communistic republic of wherever you come from" (lol, Canada ... ok) A "missionary" is by definition a person who tries to convert others, a person who tries to make others believe the same things he believes and act according to what he says. Shouldn't a teacher be actually the one who opens our minds? Who encourages us to think for ourselves? Isn't true knowledge actually deliberate thinking and constant questioning?]H e has to share
with the students his vision about reality and his love for science and humanity
with the students by challenging
in his studentsthemthein creative
spiritways . He has to keep
alive the fire of knowledge
alive until the end. In that way, he is an archetype and a model in everyday reality, a
n inexhaustible generator of consciousness for the new generations.
[Damn ... the teacher is the one generating my consciousness? Haha! I'm screwed then. No, ma'am. A teacher is nothing but a tiny piece of the map. Inaccurate most of the time and useless the rest of it. He will usually teach you what you need to pass the exams, but not what you need to pass the bullies at your school's gate. A teacher will not care for you, he'll care for your grades, he'll care about his legally determined job. That most of the time of course.]___________________
(1)- A great way of figuring out whether to use "a" or "an" is by looking at the beginning of the following word. If the word should start with a vowel, then you will employ "an". There are however some exceptions to this, as in the case of "uniform". It will be "a uniform" and "an uniform". When things get tricky, it's usually good to read the words out loud.
(2)- Take a look at the if clause
[schule.de/englisch/hyper/web/grammar/rules.html]. You'll see that you'll need it quite often, so it's useful to know it well.
(3)- innate(adj.) = existing in one from birth; inborn; native:
innate musical talent.
(3)- prone(adj.) = having a natural inclination or tendency to something; disposed; liable:
to be prone to anger.
(3)- You cannot describe an adjective.
(4)- condition(noun) = situation with respect to circumstances.
(5)- clear(adj.) = intelligible, obvious, uncomplicated.
(5)- clearly(adv.) = in a clear manner.
(5)- In this case: "clear logic" you want to describe a noun and you'll be therefore using the adjective.
