xucoi
Aug 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - 'slight difference'; The illiteracy rates around the world [6]
Oh, thanks Wandering. :D. I'll fix it :D
Oh, thanks Wandering. :D. I'll fix it :D
xucoi
Aug 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - 'slight difference'; The illiteracy rates around the world [6]
Hi guys, here is my task 1 essay, please check it for me. Many thanks. :D
The chart below illustrates the proportion of illiterate men and women in different areas in 2000.
There was a slight difference in percentage of illiterate men and women in the first 3 sectors while the rates in the last 3 sectors experienced a dramatic difference. The rates of illiterate women were always higher than that of men in all regions.
The last three sectors witnessed the very high illiteracy rates and demonstrated the big unevenness in proportion of illiteracy between men and women. Particularly, the highest illiteracy rate of women was recorded in South Asia with 55% which was twofold higher than that of men with 32%. The rates in Arab and Africa were 52% women versus 29% men and 48% women versus 31% men, respectively.
By contrast, the first three sectors had the low percentage of illiterate men and women. While the lowest figure for men and women was approximately the same in Develop Countries with 2%, the rate of illiterate men in East Asia was 9% which is half of women's with about 18%. The illiteracy rate in Latin was 10% male compared to 12% female.
(188 words)
Hi guys, here is my task 1 essay, please check it for me. Many thanks. :D
The chart below illustrates the proportion of illiterate men and women in different areas in 2000.
There was a slight difference in percentage of illiterate men and women in the first 3 sectors while the rates in the last 3 sectors experienced a dramatic difference. The rates of illiterate women were always higher than that of men in all regions.
The last three sectors witnessed the very high illiteracy rates and demonstrated the big unevenness in proportion of illiteracy between men and women. Particularly, the highest illiteracy rate of women was recorded in South Asia with 55% which was twofold higher than that of men with 32%. The rates in Arab and Africa were 52% women versus 29% men and 48% women versus 31% men, respectively.
By contrast, the first three sectors had the low percentage of illiterate men and women. While the lowest figure for men and women was approximately the same in Develop Countries with 2%, the rate of illiterate men in East Asia was 9% which is half of women's with about 18%. The illiteracy rate in Latin was 10% male compared to 12% female.
(188 words)
ib_task1_differences.gif
xucoi
Aug 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / The three pie charts show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in [5]
This sentence made me confused in term of its grammar. May you try to illustrate the line graph.
Divide this sentence into 2 sentences. It's easy for you to express your ideas.
Major contribution to yearly spendings are attributed to teachers' salary at 40% in 1981 year, hitting its pick at 50% in 1991 year and littles slow down up to 45% in 2001 year
This sentence made me confused in term of its grammar. May you try to illustrate the line graph.
Divide this sentence into 2 sentences. It's easy for you to express your ideas.
xucoi
Aug 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / Ielts Task 1 : % Change in price of houses - Bar graph [4]
My opinions.
The introdution. You should not use again too much phrases apprearing in the picture.
The chart illustrates the changes of the proportion of price of house in the different areas for 12-year period.
The paragraph 2:
I feel little confused "the same percentage". -5% and 5%. You can replace it with:
The figure of 1996 to 2002 in the New York was about twofold higher than that of previous period.
155 words. I think that it is quite good. :D
My opinions.
The introdution. You should not use again too much phrases apprearing in the picture.
The bar graph illustrates the changes in price of houses in five different citiesfrom 1990 to 2000 .
The chart illustrates the changes of the proportion of price of house in the different areas for 12-year period.
The paragraph 2:
New York totally altered with the same percentage
I feel little confused "the same percentage". -5% and 5%. You can replace it with:
The figure of 1996 to 2002 in the New York was about twofold higher than that of previous period.
155 words. I think that it is quite good. :D
xucoi
Jul 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / Task 1 IELTS- Acid rain emissions in UK over a period of 17 years [5]
Thanks guys for helping me fix my mistakes. :D
Hi Dumi,
When I writed this essay, I also did not want the long essay that includes 200 words. The sectors in this Graph have too long names. Therefore, I tried to replace them with Group 1 or 2 and in the main paragraph, I would call them easier and faster. Maybe, it's unacceptable in task 1. :D. I will fix it in the next topic. :D
Thanks guys for helping me fix my mistakes. :D
Hi Dumi,
When I writed this essay, I also did not want the long essay that includes 200 words. The sectors in this Graph have too long names. Therefore, I tried to replace them with Group 1 or 2 and in the main paragraph, I would call them easier and faster. Maybe, it's unacceptable in task 1. :D. I will fix it in the next topic. :D
xucoi
Jul 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / Task 1 IELTS- Acid rain emissions in UK over a period of 17 years [5]
Please check my writing. Thank you very much. :D
The graph below shows UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007.
The graph illustrates the mount of acid rain emitted by some different fields over 17 years period.
There were a dramatic change of the number of acid rain emissions in group 1 including Electricity, Gas and Water Supply, and Domestic and Other industries while Group 2 including Transport and communication was much slighter.
The amount of acid rain emitted of Electricity, Gas and Water supply in 1991 was around 3.3 million tones, following by Other industries and Transport and communication and Domestic with 2.1 million tones, 0.8 million tones and 0.6 million tones, respectively. The number of acid rain emissions of Electricity, Gas and Water supply had declined considerably to 1 million tons in 1999 before increased slightly in the 1999-2001 period. However, it still significantly decreased thereafter to 0.5 million tons in 2007. The trend of the number of acid rain emitted of others in Group 1 was the same as the Electricity, Gas and Water with around 1.5 million tones in Other industries and 0.2 in Domestic.
The number of acid rain emissions of Group 2 was similar in 1999 and 2007 with 0.8 million tones.
188 words. Is this OK?
Please check my writing. Thank you very much. :D
The graph below shows UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007.
The graph illustrates the mount of acid rain emitted by some different fields over 17 years period.
There were a dramatic change of the number of acid rain emissions in group 1 including Electricity, Gas and Water Supply, and Domestic and Other industries while Group 2 including Transport and communication was much slighter.
The amount of acid rain emitted of Electricity, Gas and Water supply in 1991 was around 3.3 million tones, following by Other industries and Transport and communication and Domestic with 2.1 million tones, 0.8 million tones and 0.6 million tones, respectively. The number of acid rain emissions of Electricity, Gas and Water supply had declined considerably to 1 million tons in 1999 before increased slightly in the 1999-2001 period. However, it still significantly decreased thereafter to 0.5 million tons in 2007. The trend of the number of acid rain emitted of others in Group 1 was the same as the Electricity, Gas and Water with around 1.5 million tones in Other industries and 0.2 in Domestic.
The number of acid rain emissions of Group 2 was similar in 1999 and 2007 with 0.8 million tones.
188 words. Is this OK?
Task_1_Acid_rain_em.png
xucoi
Jul 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / Advance in the field of Information technology is altering people's lifestyles [5]
I'm confused with "ranging from home to leisure or even at workplace"
You can try:.
Information technology is gradually appearing as an irreplaceable way to gain knowledge in our lifestyles
It's very good when you followed this structure. Try to clarify your paragraphs. :D.
Hope these help you. :)
Advance in the field of Information technology is altering people's lifestyles ranging from home to leisure or even at workplace
I'm confused with "ranging from home to leisure or even at workplace"
You can try:.
Information technology is gradually appearing as an irreplaceable way to gain knowledge in our lifestyles
It's very good when you followed this structure. Try to clarify your paragraphs. :D.
Hope these help you. :)
xucoi
Jul 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: raising the age of retirement. should or shouldn't? [5]
For me, your essay is quite good. :-D. I also have some opinions. Hope these help. "whereby = because of which". I think "whereby + clause". "people are living much longer but not healthier". "because of fact that they have to work harder than before". "which develop with a quick pace and prevent older generation from using them". "the old, I think you can replace it with 'the elderly'.". By the way, VNam is a good example:-).
For me, your essay is quite good. :-D. I also have some opinions. Hope these help. "whereby = because of which". I think "whereby + clause". "people are living much longer but not healthier". "because of fact that they have to work harder than before". "which develop with a quick pace and prevent older generation from using them". "the old, I think you can replace it with 'the elderly'.". By the way, VNam is a good example:-).
xucoi
Jun 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- Task 1.The number of houses sold of UK in 2000 [5]
:D. I also want to add, but my essay will be so long and moreover, It's still Ok if you dont have conclusion. :D. Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm also glad when you're VNmese ^^
In my opinion you should add a general conclusion to your essay
:D. I also want to add, but my essay will be so long and moreover, It's still Ok if you dont have conclusion. :D. Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm also glad when you're VNmese ^^
xucoi
Jun 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- Task 1.The number of houses sold of UK in 2000 [5]
Hi guys, this is my second report based on statistics after finding how to write these task 1of IELTS. Please give me feedback when you read it. Thanks in advance.
The line graph illustrates the number of houses that were sold in three areas of UK in 2000.
The number of houses sold in three area of UK all was always lower than the cap of the first quarter. A trend, which is the number of houses sold, of the North is associated with the West, whereas that of the East dramatically fluctuates.
In 1st quarter, on average, the number of people who brought houses was 20 in the East following by the West and North with 30 and approximately 50, respectively. In the next 3 months, houses sold in the East gradually increased to about 30. Starting at this value, the highest number of houses sold was dramatically recorded at 90. However, in the end of period, the number of houses sold in the East decreased considerably to the value of 1st quarter.
In contrast, the number of houses sold in the North and the West seems less different than that of the East. The number of house purchasers in the North slightly increased to round 50 and then slowly declined to 45, which lower than that in the first quarter. Similarly, the number of houses sold in the West gradually went up to 40 and after slowly dropped by about the same as the value of the first quarter.
Hi guys, this is my second report based on statistics after finding how to write these task 1of IELTS. Please give me feedback when you read it. Thanks in advance.
The line graph illustrates the number of houses that were sold in three areas of UK in 2000.
The number of houses sold in three area of UK all was always lower than the cap of the first quarter. A trend, which is the number of houses sold, of the North is associated with the West, whereas that of the East dramatically fluctuates.
In 1st quarter, on average, the number of people who brought houses was 20 in the East following by the West and North with 30 and approximately 50, respectively. In the next 3 months, houses sold in the East gradually increased to about 30. Starting at this value, the highest number of houses sold was dramatically recorded at 90. However, in the end of period, the number of houses sold in the East decreased considerably to the value of 1st quarter.
In contrast, the number of houses sold in the North and the West seems less different than that of the East. The number of house purchasers in the North slightly increased to round 50 and then slowly declined to 45, which lower than that in the first quarter. Similarly, the number of houses sold in the West gradually went up to 40 and after slowly dropped by about the same as the value of the first quarter.
task1changeshouse.png
xucoi
Jun 18, 2013
Writing Feedback / Report- The number of vehicles crossing the Waterloo Bridge. [6]
Thanks Dumi very much. I'm so glad when I join this EF. Place has a great Mod who always inspires members with her enthusiasm. :D. Thanks for everything :D
Don't get tired of writing ... the more you write, the more you become proficient.... Also, it's just not writing alone; It's reading too.... Read others' essays so that you can pick more points and ideas for other essays.
Thanks Dumi very much. I'm so glad when I join this EF. Place has a great Mod who always inspires members with her enthusiasm. :D. Thanks for everything :D
xucoi
Jun 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / parents are the first people who show the children what they should or shouldnt [7]
They teach the children to obey some rules from their early ages such as the honesty or brave. Those things are accumulated in children's mind and form them to be a good and useful members of society.
Children usually tend to repeat the actions and words from their parents. That is the reason why parents always have the important role in sharping their children manners by behaving their action exemplarily in their daily works.
They teach the children to obey some rules from their early ages as every parent's aim is to make his/her child a good member of society
They teach the children to obey some rules from their early ages such as the honesty or brave. Those things are accumulated in children's mind and form them to be a good and useful members of society.
Many times children repeat some words said by someone of their family or behave like him or her
Children usually tend to repeat the actions and words from their parents. That is the reason why parents always have the important role in sharping their children manners by behaving their action exemplarily in their daily works.
xucoi
Jun 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / Report- The number of vehicles crossing the Waterloo Bridge. [6]
Oh, thanks Dumi and Sopha. I'm also trying to read the samples of report based on statistics. That leads to this first report.:D.
Dumi, I'm enjoying your sentences and wondering that although I always write too much to improve my writing skill. It has never enhanced my skill as I want, as you rewrote for me. Sometimes, It's too tired to try.
Oh, thanks Dumi and Sopha. I'm also trying to read the samples of report based on statistics. That leads to this first report.:D.
Dumi, I'm enjoying your sentences and wondering that although I always write too much to improve my writing skill. It has never enhanced my skill as I want, as you rewrote for me. Sometimes, It's too tired to try.
xucoi
Jun 15, 2013
Writing Feedback / Report- The number of vehicles crossing the Waterloo Bridge. [6]
Hi guys. This is the first report that bases on statistics. I find it so hard when I begin to write this. May I have not been familiar with this analyzing topic. Please help me broaden my poor idea. Thank you very much. :D
Write a short report that coveys the following information.
The table shows the number of the passenger cars and Lorries traversing the Waterloo Bridge at each day, from Sunday to Saturday, of a week. The highest number of passenger cars going over the Bridge is 2000 at Sunday, Monday and Friday. Whereas, that of Lorries is 2000 only at Tuesday. Thursday is the time which has the equal number of 2 kinds of vehicle. The best notice is the unusual up-and-down number of lorries. They only have 500 at Sunday and Saturday, 1000 at Wednesday and Friday. For passenger cars, they still maintain at 1500 at the remainder of a week. One more thing that needs to be observed is the total of number of Passenger cars and Lorries. They are always equitable or lower 3000 each day.
Hi guys. This is the first report that bases on statistics. I find it so hard when I begin to write this. May I have not been familiar with this analyzing topic. Please help me broaden my poor idea. Thank you very much. :D
Write a short report that coveys the following information.
The table shows the number of the passenger cars and Lorries traversing the Waterloo Bridge at each day, from Sunday to Saturday, of a week. The highest number of passenger cars going over the Bridge is 2000 at Sunday, Monday and Friday. Whereas, that of Lorries is 2000 only at Tuesday. Thursday is the time which has the equal number of 2 kinds of vehicle. The best notice is the unusual up-and-down number of lorries. They only have 500 at Sunday and Saturday, 1000 at Wednesday and Friday. For passenger cars, they still maintain at 1500 at the remainder of a week. One more thing that needs to be observed is the total of number of Passenger cars and Lorries. They are always equitable or lower 3000 each day.
Untitled.png
xucoi
May 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / Report on the likely effects of Global warming on the capital city of my country [3]
Thank you Dumi.
The word adversely is the word that I'm finding for a long time :D.
With this sentence. I think I will fix like:
Whereas, for the places that dont have enough cool appliances for working, people must find the way as much as possible to defeat the hot air surrounding them.
Is it ok ? :D
Thank you Dumi.
The word adversely is the word that I'm finding for a long time :D.
these sentences don't seem to be very meaningful. I think you should do away with them.
With this sentence. I think I will fix like:
Whereas, for the places that dont have enough cool appliances for working, people must find the way as much as possible to defeat the hot air surrounding them.
Is it ok ? :D
xucoi
May 18, 2013
Writing Feedback / Report on the likely effects of Global warming on the capital city of my country [3]
Hi guys, this is my third report. I tried to give sensibe specific example for this topic. Please check it for me :D. Thanks in advance :D
Scientists generally agree that the world is facing the prospect of substantial global warming unless countermeasures are taken immediately.
Task: As a university assignment, write a report on the likely effects of global warming on the capital city of your country. Include what you consider to be the priority recommendations to counter these effects.
Global warming has affected profoundly many countries around the world. The capital city of my country is no exception. As an urban citizen, I realize that the global warming is influencing gradually on some main aspects as below.
Global warming is directly impacting on people, who are staying in their living land. The scorching days intimidate everyone. People usually hide under the air condition to do well their works. How about no-air-condition places? No one can work with these places. Hence, they spend more time on extricating the hot and less in the tasks. This may cause them decreasing their working productivity and slow down the development of their company. Moreover, high temperature causes many diseases. People easily get the food poisoning because hot weather is the ideal milieu for virus developing in the food. People also usually get the sunstroke which makes them fell in the fait suddenly. Global warming impacts on our daily routine and health very much.
Global warming is the main point affecting municipal scenery. In the one hand, many rivers traversing the city now remain the layer of hard rock in the summer. High temperature made water from rivers evaporate into the atmosphere. The rivers are not beautiful as they were before. In the other hand, the drought in rivers leads to the insufficiency of water which is used for plants in the city. Many trees in the both sides of streets are died away.
The environment is also changed due to global warming. The weather is not warm as before. Instead of that, the winter is frigid and the summer is scorching. Days are lengthier than nights. This may lead to the imbalance of internal clock of humans and animals living in the city. In addition, due to high temperature, many species surrounding the city are moving away. Therefore, plants are directly influenced because of the symbiotic relationship between plants and animals.
To counter these effect of global warming. I strongly believe that we should solve from the original problems. As we all know, the main cause of global warming is the superfluous carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Therefore, the priority recommendation is that we must cut down the current rate of carbon dioxide which is emitted from vehicles, factories, etc. We should limit the carbon dioxide emission at the international standard and control the car as well as motorbike users. The leaders should appeal citizens to use more the public transportation and give a day as the "Green Day" in month which helps people aware of the effects of global warming.
Global warming is impacting on our lives through many aspects which are the people's health, environment and scenery. Therefore, we must work together against its worse effects.
Hi guys, this is my third report. I tried to give sensibe specific example for this topic. Please check it for me :D. Thanks in advance :D
Scientists generally agree that the world is facing the prospect of substantial global warming unless countermeasures are taken immediately.
Task: As a university assignment, write a report on the likely effects of global warming on the capital city of your country. Include what you consider to be the priority recommendations to counter these effects.
Global warming has affected profoundly many countries around the world. The capital city of my country is no exception. As an urban citizen, I realize that the global warming is influencing gradually on some main aspects as below.
Global warming is directly impacting on people, who are staying in their living land. The scorching days intimidate everyone. People usually hide under the air condition to do well their works. How about no-air-condition places? No one can work with these places. Hence, they spend more time on extricating the hot and less in the tasks. This may cause them decreasing their working productivity and slow down the development of their company. Moreover, high temperature causes many diseases. People easily get the food poisoning because hot weather is the ideal milieu for virus developing in the food. People also usually get the sunstroke which makes them fell in the fait suddenly. Global warming impacts on our daily routine and health very much.
Global warming is the main point affecting municipal scenery. In the one hand, many rivers traversing the city now remain the layer of hard rock in the summer. High temperature made water from rivers evaporate into the atmosphere. The rivers are not beautiful as they were before. In the other hand, the drought in rivers leads to the insufficiency of water which is used for plants in the city. Many trees in the both sides of streets are died away.
The environment is also changed due to global warming. The weather is not warm as before. Instead of that, the winter is frigid and the summer is scorching. Days are lengthier than nights. This may lead to the imbalance of internal clock of humans and animals living in the city. In addition, due to high temperature, many species surrounding the city are moving away. Therefore, plants are directly influenced because of the symbiotic relationship between plants and animals.
To counter these effect of global warming. I strongly believe that we should solve from the original problems. As we all know, the main cause of global warming is the superfluous carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Therefore, the priority recommendation is that we must cut down the current rate of carbon dioxide which is emitted from vehicles, factories, etc. We should limit the carbon dioxide emission at the international standard and control the car as well as motorbike users. The leaders should appeal citizens to use more the public transportation and give a day as the "Green Day" in month which helps people aware of the effects of global warming.
Global warming is impacting on our lives through many aspects which are the people's health, environment and scenery. Therefore, we must work together against its worse effects.
xucoi
May 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Children spend long time studying in school. What are the effects? [9]
Hi Dumi.
Your advice is very useful. :D. When I read the "actual reason". I think that I broaden my mind about writing essay which is hard for me. :D.
I always like reading your comments :)).
Hi Dumi.
Your advice is very useful. :D. When I read the "actual reason". I think that I broaden my mind about writing essay which is hard for me. :D.
I always like reading your comments :)).
xucoi
May 16, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Children spend long time studying in school. What are the effects? [9]
Hi dumi. Oh,I got your comment. Elieen didnt give the best reason for it. However, due to the pressure of the test, students may give some reasons as that of Elieen. it becomes abstract. Hence, I said it's so hard to give specific examples. And It's hard for me to surmount that.
Hi dumi. Oh,I got your comment. Elieen didnt give the best reason for it. However, due to the pressure of the test, students may give some reasons as that of Elieen. it becomes abstract. Hence, I said it's so hard to give specific examples. And It's hard for me to surmount that.
xucoi
May 15, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Children spend long time studying in school. What are the effects? [9]
Hi guys. I also agree that eileenalien did not clarify his reasons. However, with those abstract topics, it's hard to give specific examples. I also try to get new first paragraph and hope it could give some specific examples. Let's discuss this to help us surmount these abstract questions.
Using most time in learning helps children reach the academic qualification. Focusing on study when they were kids gives children a learning and researching habit. This may lead to an important role of study in their daily routine as they are growing. Hence, children will easily get higher education known as academic qualification such as MBA or PhD. In addition, with academic qualification, these educators will improve their major knowledge and ensure their advantages in curriculum vitae for the job. Therefore, spending time in study will be very useful for children in the future.
You need to support your reasons with specific examples. Don't crowd your body paragraphs with too many reasons. Pick one good reason and state it. Then support it with a specific example.
Hi guys. I also agree that eileenalien did not clarify his reasons. However, with those abstract topics, it's hard to give specific examples. I also try to get new first paragraph and hope it could give some specific examples. Let's discuss this to help us surmount these abstract questions.
Using most time in learning helps children reach the academic qualification. Focusing on study when they were kids gives children a learning and researching habit. This may lead to an important role of study in their daily routine as they are growing. Hence, children will easily get higher education known as academic qualification such as MBA or PhD. In addition, with academic qualification, these educators will improve their major knowledge and ensure their advantages in curriculum vitae for the job. Therefore, spending time in study will be very useful for children in the future.
xucoi
May 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / increasing weight against declining health. [6]
May you didnt need help of others :D. Just kidding he he.
I think It uses present perfect.
The westernization and urbanization have affected our lives in all respects and resulted in an upsurge that brings our waist size up and our health down.
It maybe: "These changes have spread over many countries rapidly and they become one of worse syndroms that humans have faced with.
[quote=sharmajali] According to many researchers most people who rely on food to reduce stress will ends up in obesity and ill health. [/quot
For your reflection ^^.
Dumi again i need you here. Please help me.
May you didnt need help of others :D. Just kidding he he.
An up surge in westernization and urbanization took their control over our lives
I think It uses present perfect.
The westernization and urbanization have affected our lives in all respects and resulted in an upsurge that brings our waist size up and our health down.
This change struck over many countries, which are now carving them from inside
It maybe: "These changes have spread over many countries rapidly and they become one of worse syndroms that humans have faced with.
[quote=sharmajali] According to many researchers most people who rely on food to reduce stress will end
For your reflection ^^.
xucoi
May 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / "Foreign students need to be patient"- Report on adjustments for overseas students [3]
Hi Dumi, I apologize for reply late because of the national holiday. My hometown thoroughly doesnt have Internet :D.
This sentence enhaces its original very much. However, I'm wondering that this sentence uses the word " study" many times, and I want to replace by "learn" or other words. Do it remain the same meaning of study abroad.
By the ways, Dumi, I always learn new things from you comments :P
Hi Dumi, I apologize for reply late because of the national holiday. My hometown thoroughly doesnt have Internet :D.
For example, in my country, students engage in self-study mostly without studying in groups. This may cause them finding hard to fit into group studying in a foreign country as they begin their studies abroad.
This sentence enhaces its original very much. However, I'm wondering that this sentence uses the word " study" many times, and I want to replace by "learn" or other words. Do it remain the same meaning of study abroad.
By the ways, Dumi, I always learn new things from you comments :P
xucoi
Apr 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / "Foreign students need to be patient"- Report on adjustments for overseas students [3]
Hi guys.
This is second report. However, I dont know whether that it digresses or not. Because I have not been familiar with the way to write report.
Therefore, for your consideration, please tell me "is it a report for my below topic, or not?", I appreciate you kindness :D
Here is the topic report:
You have been asked to write a report for a scholarship committee on the adjustments that overseas students need to make.
Task:
Describe the most important adjustments to learning and writing styles you feel overseas students are likely to need to make and give advice on how they should do this
Going abroad is the important decision that we all want to do in our life. However, overseas students also face with many problems when they study in the other nation. As the consultant, I intend to make some recommendations aimed at enhancing the current state of overseas students.
Firstly, foreign students need to be patient. It takes a long time as few months for the process of adaptation environment such as our routine or ways to learn. For example, in my country, people have been familiar with self-study to encounter their targets. As the result, international students from our country first will practice teamwork confusedly. However, as we all known that teamwork is the best way to gain much more knowledge from a group. Hence, students should accumulate team-work experiences gradually in the out campus activities namely the volunteer campaign. In addition, according to the recent survey, almost students are usually timorous in the new environment. Therefore, it's essential for them to build on their supports such as new friends or new school. It helps change their learning style as well as their life rapidly.
Secondly, international students need to change the way they are writing to adapt to new school. Following the mother language, novices usually get hand writing as their thoughts. However, sometimes it is informal with many professors in new university. Besides, in the future, It's undoubted that they will do many things referring to writing due to their jobs. If they do not prepare writing styles from now on, disregard of this problem usually causes many unexpected results suddenly. Therefore, overseas students should still broaden more and more academic vocabularies to ensure their score satisfactorily in new school and guarantee their career stably in the future.
Finally, go-abroad students need to take advantages of campus resources in their university. Although its responsibility is that helping new students to get best fit with new environment in all respects, many freshmen don't contact directly to them to get fully instructions. Of course, they forfeit an important helping sponsor regretfully. So that, overseas students should lean on the supports from their university as much as possible. It'll certainly adjust learning and writing style to be better as soon as possible.
In order to be go-abroad students, may people must do hard work to reach their target. However, they only need a little more change about learning and writing style to adapt to new environment.
Hi guys.
This is second report. However, I dont know whether that it digresses or not. Because I have not been familiar with the way to write report.
Therefore, for your consideration, please tell me "is it a report for my below topic, or not?", I appreciate you kindness :D
Here is the topic report:
You have been asked to write a report for a scholarship committee on the adjustments that overseas students need to make.
Task:
Describe the most important adjustments to learning and writing styles you feel overseas students are likely to need to make and give advice on how they should do this
Going abroad is the important decision that we all want to do in our life. However, overseas students also face with many problems when they study in the other nation. As the consultant, I intend to make some recommendations aimed at enhancing the current state of overseas students.
Firstly, foreign students need to be patient. It takes a long time as few months for the process of adaptation environment such as our routine or ways to learn. For example, in my country, people have been familiar with self-study to encounter their targets. As the result, international students from our country first will practice teamwork confusedly. However, as we all known that teamwork is the best way to gain much more knowledge from a group. Hence, students should accumulate team-work experiences gradually in the out campus activities namely the volunteer campaign. In addition, according to the recent survey, almost students are usually timorous in the new environment. Therefore, it's essential for them to build on their supports such as new friends or new school. It helps change their learning style as well as their life rapidly.
Secondly, international students need to change the way they are writing to adapt to new school. Following the mother language, novices usually get hand writing as their thoughts. However, sometimes it is informal with many professors in new university. Besides, in the future, It's undoubted that they will do many things referring to writing due to their jobs. If they do not prepare writing styles from now on, disregard of this problem usually causes many unexpected results suddenly. Therefore, overseas students should still broaden more and more academic vocabularies to ensure their score satisfactorily in new school and guarantee their career stably in the future.
Finally, go-abroad students need to take advantages of campus resources in their university. Although its responsibility is that helping new students to get best fit with new environment in all respects, many freshmen don't contact directly to them to get fully instructions. Of course, they forfeit an important helping sponsor regretfully. So that, overseas students should lean on the supports from their university as much as possible. It'll certainly adjust learning and writing style to be better as soon as possible.
In order to be go-abroad students, may people must do hard work to reach their target. However, they only need a little more change about learning and writing style to adapt to new environment.
xucoi
Apr 19, 2013
Writing Feedback / Report - production of colored paper clips. [4]
Oh. Thank you Dumi very much :D
I will attach picture file in the next time.
Oh Dumi, I means the system worked at best as it can in current time. So i use as well as possible. Is it wrong? :D
By the way, is it ok if I give a short recommendation?
I'm so glad to receive your comments Dumi :P
Oh. Thank you Dumi very much :D
I will attach picture file in the next time.
xucoi:
The system has operated as well as possible, ... as well as possible? Cannot get your idea here :(
The system has operated as well as possible, ... as well as possible? Cannot get your idea here :(
Oh Dumi, I means the system worked at best as it can in current time. So i use as well as possible. Is it wrong? :D
By the way, is it ok if I give a short recommendation?
I'm so glad to receive your comments Dumi :P
xucoi
Apr 19, 2013
Writing Feedback / Do you think that television programs, movies, and video games influence young people [5]
Hi Caroline, Dumi. These are my suggestion although your essay is probably the good argument.
I hope It could be useful for you :D
How to count and identify the colors and shapes.
young kids use their hands to control the games while still finding rapidly the way to defeat the other players.
For instance, some movies as well as video games turned kid's attitude to be rough and violent toward another person easily.
Some children especially repeat many utopiian actions that they saw in the movies.
Gook luck!
Hi Caroline, Dumi. These are my suggestion although your essay is probably the good argument.
I hope It could be useful for you :D
how to count and even the colors and shapes
How to count and identify the colors and shapes.
young kids use their hand to control the games as well they have to think how to win the game
young kids use their hands to control the games while still finding rapidly the way to defeat the other players.
For instance, some movies as well as video games taught kids to be tough and treat each other in bad ways
For instance, some movies as well as video games turned kid's attitude to be rough and violent toward another person easily.
Some children like to do the same thing that they saw in movies
Some children especially repeat many utopiian actions that they saw in the movies.
Gook luck!
xucoi
Apr 19, 2013
Writing Feedback / Report - production of colored paper clips. [4]
Hi guys!
This is the first time I practice to write a report for IELTS preparing. And I have tried to follow the rules in my writing book.
1. Terms of reference (what you have been asked to find out)
2. Procedure ( how you found out the information)
3. Findings (what you found out)
4. Conclusions
5. Recommendations.
I hope you guys will give me some comments. I really appreciate your kindness :D.
Here is the topic.
The diagram below illustrates some of the processes in the production of colored paper clips at a small factory. As a member of the Quality Control, you have been asked to comment on the process and to consider whether any changes are necessary.
Here is the diagram: thamtunhatnguyet.com/upanh/server/php/tmp_files/Checking_plastic_paper_clip_NeSj1_20130419154431.png
My essay:
As the QC member, I'm asked for checking the process of producing the color paper clips. The system has operated as well as possible, but I also suggest some recommendations aimed at reaching better productivity.
The process works as follows: to begin with, the molten plastics flow into separate color channels which are red, blue and yellow to transform plastic's original color for each product. These grooves lead plastic to molds to sharp their forms. After that, uncompleted products are involves in testing carefully by 2 tools which are machine check and plastic strength. If they have adaptations these requirements, they pass to next period. Otherwise, they are rejected to the inception. Then, the moldings are sorted deliberately by hand to divide into 2 parts which are mixed colors and single colors. Next, the QC exhibits final test to check whether the products have enough conditions namely color checking to release or not. If they are not meet to demand, then they turn back to the "sort by hand" part. Finally, the products are packed and dispatch to the customers.
Although the system is still good as before, I have an idea that we will replace the "sort by hand" stage by sort by identified machines. It will reduce the labors and remove the color checking period because these machines will take over it for us.
Hi guys!
This is the first time I practice to write a report for IELTS preparing. And I have tried to follow the rules in my writing book.
1. Terms of reference (what you have been asked to find out)
2. Procedure ( how you found out the information)
3. Findings (what you found out)
4. Conclusions
5. Recommendations.
I hope you guys will give me some comments. I really appreciate your kindness :D.
Here is the topic.
The diagram below illustrates some of the processes in the production of colored paper clips at a small factory. As a member of the Quality Control, you have been asked to comment on the process and to consider whether any changes are necessary.
Here is the diagram: thamtunhatnguyet.com/upanh/server/php/tmp_files/Checking_plastic_paper_clip_NeSj1_20130419154431.png
My essay:
As the QC member, I'm asked for checking the process of producing the color paper clips. The system has operated as well as possible, but I also suggest some recommendations aimed at reaching better productivity.
The process works as follows: to begin with, the molten plastics flow into separate color channels which are red, blue and yellow to transform plastic's original color for each product. These grooves lead plastic to molds to sharp their forms. After that, uncompleted products are involves in testing carefully by 2 tools which are machine check and plastic strength. If they have adaptations these requirements, they pass to next period. Otherwise, they are rejected to the inception. Then, the moldings are sorted deliberately by hand to divide into 2 parts which are mixed colors and single colors. Next, the QC exhibits final test to check whether the products have enough conditions namely color checking to release or not. If they are not meet to demand, then they turn back to the "sort by hand" part. Finally, the products are packed and dispatch to the customers.
Although the system is still good as before, I have an idea that we will replace the "sort by hand" stage by sort by identified machines. It will reduce the labors and remove the color checking period because these machines will take over it for us.
xucoi
Apr 16, 2013
Student Talk / Should go to language center or not? [3]
I think I will follow your comment and continue practising at home. However, I think 3 months before you get exam, you should go to center to find out some keys to get high score. They always have the best opinions to help us pass IELTS as we hope :D :D
I think I will follow your comment and continue practising at home. However, I think 3 months before you get exam, you should go to center to find out some keys to get high score. They always have the best opinions to help us pass IELTS as we hope :D :D
xucoi
Apr 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / Describe the heart lung machine -IELTS [6]
No, It isnt. It's not scientific word. I think that word used to describe unoxygenated blood is appropriate.
No, It isnt. It's not scientific word. I think that word used to describe unoxygenated blood is appropriate.
xucoi
Apr 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / Describe the heart lung machine -IELTS [6]
Hi Misius and Dumi
I'm so glad when receiving your comments.
. Oh no, It's exactly poor. Because before blood goes to oxygenator, it does not have oxygen at all. :D. I heard in the video on youtube, that blood is so-called poor blood.
Dumi, I have not understood why we use "would" in the first and "will" in the end of sentence?
Hi Misius and Dumi
I'm so glad when receiving your comments.
pure?
. Oh no, It's exactly poor. Because before blood goes to oxygenator, it does not have oxygen at all. :D. I heard in the video on youtube, that blood is so-called poor blood.
The heart would slowly stop functioning while the blood pumped from the machine will gradually replace the patient's own blood.
Dumi, I have not understood why we use "would" in the first and "will" in the end of sentence?
xucoi
Apr 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / LIFE IN A CITY IS MUCH BETTER THAN LIFE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE/ TOEFL ESSAY [3]
To begin with, as far as i'm known that if you use "firstly", the next paragraph, you should follow the hierarchy secondly, thirdly...
Next, it seems that you have not give particular idea yet. For instances,
. You can put it in the first main idea of education system because "meeting and knowing tradition" is aslo a comprehension of knowledge. :D. It will raise your argument and clarify your main idea.
Finally, your essay should add more adverbs. It will make your essay smooth and easier to read.
Although i'm also preparing for IELTS, It is my some objective views. Hope it will be useful for you.
Xucoi. :D
To begin with, as far as i'm known that if you use "firstly", the next paragraph, you should follow the hierarchy secondly, thirdly...
Next, it seems that you have not give particular idea yet. For instances,
Moreover, in the urban areas there are also more citizens what means, that the culture diversity is huge. Meeting and knowing new people's tradition is an unforgettable experience, which could influence on one's previous habits.
. You can put it in the first main idea of education system because "meeting and knowing tradition" is aslo a comprehension of knowledge. :D. It will raise your argument and clarify your main idea.
Finally, your essay should add more adverbs. It will make your essay smooth and easier to read.
Although i'm also preparing for IELTS, It is my some objective views. Hope it will be useful for you.
Xucoi. :D
xucoi
Apr 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / Describe the heart lung machine -IELTS [6]
Hi guys, this is my essay about heart lung machine at least 150 words, i dont have diagram because it is in book. It's a picture of heart lung machine which includes oxygenator, pump, temprature adjuster and filter. Hope you guys will help me check my essay. Thank you very much :D
As a class assignment, your tutor has asked you to write about a heart-lung machine. Using the diagram below, write three or four paragraphs describing the circulation of the blood on bypass through a heart-lung machine.
The heart lung machine is used for open heart surgery. It helps carefully stop the heart while still maintaining the blood circulation for the surgery. The heart will be stop slowly and the blood from machine will gradually replace the natural blood.
The heart lung machine consists of five main parts. They are oxygenator, pump, temperature controller and filter and tubes. The oxygenator functions as the lung and the pump is operated as the function of the heart. The tubes is connected to machine
The machine work as follows: firstly, poor blood from the plastic tubes goes to oxygenator where supplies oxygen for blood. Next, blood transfers directly to the pump. The pump turning with sensible velocity pushes the oxygenated blood to adjuster. Temperature in blood is changed to adapt to the body. After that, blood is filtered for bubbles and other harmful substances. Finally, blood is returned to patient's arterial system. Following the preparation for heart, the heart is restarted and the heart lung machine is removed gradually.
The heart lung machine is very important in open heart surgery. It helps not only save many lives but also do many other experiments.
Hi guys, this is my essay about heart lung machine at least 150 words, i dont have diagram because it is in book. It's a picture of heart lung machine which includes oxygenator, pump, temprature adjuster and filter. Hope you guys will help me check my essay. Thank you very much :D
As a class assignment, your tutor has asked you to write about a heart-lung machine. Using the diagram below, write three or four paragraphs describing the circulation of the blood on bypass through a heart-lung machine.
The heart lung machine is used for open heart surgery. It helps carefully stop the heart while still maintaining the blood circulation for the surgery. The heart will be stop slowly and the blood from machine will gradually replace the natural blood.
The heart lung machine consists of five main parts. They are oxygenator, pump, temperature controller and filter and tubes. The oxygenator functions as the lung and the pump is operated as the function of the heart. The tubes is connected to machine
The machine work as follows: firstly, poor blood from the plastic tubes goes to oxygenator where supplies oxygen for blood. Next, blood transfers directly to the pump. The pump turning with sensible velocity pushes the oxygenated blood to adjuster. Temperature in blood is changed to adapt to the body. After that, blood is filtered for bubbles and other harmful substances. Finally, blood is returned to patient's arterial system. Following the preparation for heart, the heart is restarted and the heart lung machine is removed gradually.
The heart lung machine is very important in open heart surgery. It helps not only save many lives but also do many other experiments.
xucoi
Apr 11, 2013
Student Talk / Should go to language center or not? [3]
Hi guys, i have a problem. i want to ask some advices from you.
The question is "should i learn at E language center or not?"
I'm a last-year student in a tecnical university. Now I'm working for a project in order to graduate from my university. As you know, this time is so busy and i only have free time at night. In addition, i work from 7am to 6pm. Therefore, i always get tired and wanna go to bed early.
In contrast, I will join the IELTS test in the end of this year. I know how hard it is and i'm learning as possible as i can by myself, of course, at night. However, i also think, if i can learn at E laguage center, there are many advantages thing i will get.
Please give me some comments for my scenario. Thank you very much my fellow friends :D
Hi guys, i have a problem. i want to ask some advices from you.
The question is "should i learn at E language center or not?"
I'm a last-year student in a tecnical university. Now I'm working for a project in order to graduate from my university. As you know, this time is so busy and i only have free time at night. In addition, i work from 7am to 6pm. Therefore, i always get tired and wanna go to bed early.
In contrast, I will join the IELTS test in the end of this year. I know how hard it is and i'm learning as possible as i can by myself, of course, at night. However, i also think, if i can learn at E laguage center, there are many advantages thing i will get.
Please give me some comments for my scenario. Thank you very much my fellow friends :D
xucoi
Apr 8, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Try new things or repeat things we know? [6]
Hi norza : I also have some suggestions.
We all have a different perspective and perception from another.
You can replace "like" by other word having the same meaning.
Some people like to keep on living their routine, but others choose the new way that enjoy life of risk taking.
their life is always stable and their works hardly ever change day by day.
By the way, there are many small mistakes of grammar in your essay. :D. I'm also improving those errors. Hope you can do it.:D.
Hi norza : I also have some suggestions.
People have different attitude and understanding..
We all have a different perspective and perception from another.
Some people like to do what he have it or continue living on that, but some other people are like to do some new thing or try to more advantage or benefit in their life without concern for risk
You can replace "like" by other word having the same meaning.
Some people like to keep on living their routine, but others choose the new way that enjoy life of risk taking.
These kinds of people have more comfortable and suitable job him or her
their life is always stable and their works hardly ever change day by day.
By the way, there are many small mistakes of grammar in your essay. :D. I'm also improving those errors. Hope you can do it.:D.
xucoi
Apr 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / 'bigger market'; Live in small town or live in a big city? ; IELTS [7]
I mean i feel that your sentence is not compatible :)). Sorry because of this mistake :D
:O what do you mean unpleasant???
I mean i feel that your sentence is not compatible :)). Sorry because of this mistake :D
xucoi
Apr 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / Discuss the question of death penalty in general- IETLS [7]
I always search new phrasal Verb or Noun on Oxfordictionary site. And i came across the explaination of "in settlement of". Frankly, I'm not confuse when using it. :)). :P.:P
but seems it confuses people :D
I always search new phrasal Verb or Noun on Oxfordictionary site. And i came across the explaination of "in settlement of". Frankly, I'm not confuse when using it. :)). :P.:P
xucoi
Apr 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / 'bigger market'; Live in small town or live in a big city? ; IELTS [7]
Hi malhamed. Hi Dumi, Here is some my suggestions.
I
Take is transitive verb. When you talk the sentence "human have to take" there are something that is unpleasant.
Hope it would be useful for you :D
Hi malhamed. Hi Dumi, Here is some my suggestions.
this is another introduction tell me if it is better??
I
Selecting a comfortable living place is one of the most crucial decisions in one's life. It is argued that people opt to live in big cities rather that in small towns or villages. Personally, I prefer to settle down in a modern city as it is more beneficial. Through this essay the following reason will prove that living in big cities is more desirable by analyzing how it can help building a successful career.
One of the most important decisions that human have to take is to choose his living place, where he can feel more comfortable
Take is transitive verb. When you talk the sentence "human have to take" there are something that is unpleasant.
Hope it would be useful for you :D
xucoi
Apr 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / Discuss the question of death penalty in general- IETLS [7]
Hi Dumi, 2 fixed sentences above are so useful to me. However, I have a trouble in the meaning of "in settlement of"
I think it's only used for money? :D.
If i replace this by "in charge of". Is this good ?
Thanks Dumi very much :D
Hi Dumi, 2 fixed sentences above are so useful to me. However, I have a trouble in the meaning of "in settlement of"
However, imposing the death penalty is like that one would exchange his own life in settlement of the offense he /she made.
I think it's only used for money? :D.
If i replace this by "in charge of". Is this good ?
Thanks Dumi very much :D
xucoi
Apr 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:(Dis/agree) Most difficult experiences will become valuable lessons [2]
Hi able Person, hi Dumi. I also have some suggestions
Firstly, hardships make us understand profoundly many the small but important things.
Those who suffered difficulties always know how to distinguish what is good or bad clearly. Since, they are not rolled in the universal seductions. For examples: (give some example to clarify your idea)
Hope it would be useful for you!
Hi able Person, hi Dumi. I also have some suggestions
To start with, hardship makes people realize how to cherish and compliment the common but wonderful little things happened in their life such as, a shining weather, a delicious breakfast and etc.
Firstly, hardships make us understand profoundly many the small but important things.
People who have such nice spirit usually know how to find the true love in their life instead of being seduced by greed as to lose themselves in the end
Those who suffered difficulties always know how to distinguish what is good or bad clearly. Since, they are not rolled in the universal seductions. For examples: (give some example to clarify your idea)
Hope it would be useful for you!
xucoi
Apr 5, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL WRITING: Why going to university or college [5]
They prepare for classes and discuss many major topics...
will check integrally how much knowledge that student gain in their classes.
I dont understand this sentence. You may clarify your idea. :(
There are some difficulties....Student must overcome these troubles and adjust themselves to rush studying environtment.
It's my opinions. :D.
discuss on major with others
They prepare for classes and discuss many major topics...
ensure that students have a good commend of the knowledge on the subjects
will check integrally how much knowledge that student gain in their classes.
and thought deeply on the issue
I dont understand this sentence. You may clarify your idea. :(
there should be some difficulty in the way, such as the time arrangement, choosing problem, students should try to overcome them and adjust themselves all the time
There are some difficulties....Student must overcome these troubles and adjust themselves to rush studying environtment.
It's my opinions. :D.
xucoi
Apr 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / Discuss the question of death penalty in general- IETLS [7]
Oh, with this sentence, I mean, if there are another justice. That is God. :D
Frankly, I also referred some documents on Internet to find out my ideas and vocabylaries. ^^
Thank you mhss very much. I'm very glad to reveive your suggests :D. It's very useful :D
and if there is a CAUSE for that, only THE God knowS whether we should die or not.
Oh, with this sentence, I mean, if there are another justice. That is God. :D
Frankly, I also referred some documents on Internet to find out my ideas and vocabylaries. ^^
Thank you mhss very much. I'm very glad to reveive your suggests :D. It's very useful :D
xucoi
Apr 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / Discuss the question of death penalty in general- IETLS [7]
Please give me some suggests to improve my writing skill :). Thank you. :D
"Why do we kill people to show that killing people is wrong?" As human, we all have a right to live, and if there is a course for that, only God know whether we should die or not. Therefore, I strongly oppose the appearance of death penalty in law of any country in the world.
Capital punishment has never deterred offenders in our society. It's highest action that aimed at punishing criminals due to their mistakes. However, It means that they only exchange their life to delete their offense. And I believe that they will not be afraid to repeat it. Because they know "death ends all". In addition, there are many reasons of their acts such as poor or revenge. Hence, government should find the ways to solve the inceptions, not the results that they caused.
The alternative- life without parole- will better for all parties very much. If death penalty is executed, what could we do? Gangsters will continue revenge the victims because the police cannot protect for their safety minute by minute. Wise Gandhi once said "an eye for an eye, the world is blind". Therefore, capital punishment is not the good way to piece our society. Besides, money saved from execution could go to victims to compensate partly for their losses, although it's only a bit little thing.
Last but not least, a derailed judgment can get many lives away. Frankly, justice still has humanity as well as his decides. In many cases, criminals have to die due to unpleasantness of justice. Moreover, It has one dangerous hidden power in which some persons take advantages of death penalty to do dirty things. The murders consciously use their power and money to kill innocent people without the look of society.
In short, Giving up capital punishment is right action that people totally agree. The alternative can help find the way out of many troubles such as revenge. It also avoid the problems that taking power and money to do bad things.
Please give me some suggests to improve my writing skill :). Thank you. :D
"Why do we kill people to show that killing people is wrong?" As human, we all have a right to live, and if there is a course for that, only God know whether we should die or not. Therefore, I strongly oppose the appearance of death penalty in law of any country in the world.
Capital punishment has never deterred offenders in our society. It's highest action that aimed at punishing criminals due to their mistakes. However, It means that they only exchange their life to delete their offense. And I believe that they will not be afraid to repeat it. Because they know "death ends all". In addition, there are many reasons of their acts such as poor or revenge. Hence, government should find the ways to solve the inceptions, not the results that they caused.
The alternative- life without parole- will better for all parties very much. If death penalty is executed, what could we do? Gangsters will continue revenge the victims because the police cannot protect for their safety minute by minute. Wise Gandhi once said "an eye for an eye, the world is blind". Therefore, capital punishment is not the good way to piece our society. Besides, money saved from execution could go to victims to compensate partly for their losses, although it's only a bit little thing.
Last but not least, a derailed judgment can get many lives away. Frankly, justice still has humanity as well as his decides. In many cases, criminals have to die due to unpleasantness of justice. Moreover, It has one dangerous hidden power in which some persons take advantages of death penalty to do dirty things. The murders consciously use their power and money to kill innocent people without the look of society.
In short, Giving up capital punishment is right action that people totally agree. The alternative can help find the way out of many troubles such as revenge. It also avoid the problems that taking power and money to do bad things.