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Posts by ammus1 [Suspended]
Name: nisha punnoose
Joined: Mar 24, 2014
Last Post: Feb 16, 2016
Threads: 10
Posts: 29  
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From: united kingdom
School: NA

Displayed posts: 39
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ammus1   
May 16, 2014
Writing Feedback / Non-academic subject should stay in school syllabus along with academic subjects [3]

Hai friends,please correct my essay,thanks in advance.

Ques:With the pressure on today's young people to succeed academically , some people believe that non-academic subjects at school(eg:physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Ans:School is the basic platform for the young adults to learn academic and non-academic subjects.However,Some people think that non important subjects such as physical education and cooking should be moved from the school curriculum in order to concentrate completely on academic subjects.While,I personally disagree with this view because these subjects play a pivotal role in children's life.

Primarily,physical education should be mandatory in school syllabus because it brings many benefits to the children.First,It helps children to be fit and healthy .Thesedays,most of the young people lead a sedentary life style and as a result many children are obese and they can easily get diseases such as diabetes and heart problems.For example,a recent survey in United Kingdom reveals that thirty out of fifty students in a class is obese.Second,exercise not only helps young people stay healthy but also helps for the brain development.After exercise they can resume their study with fresh energy and enthusiasm .Thus physical education is effective for children in many ways.

Similarly,cooking is an essential skill which should be encouraged from school to enhance the interest of children.If children study this skill from the school ,it would help them to make food at their home alone .Moreover ,fast foods are prevalent in our society.So in order to decrease the consumption of junk food young people can make different types of tasty dishes in their home.This would help them to lead a healthy life.

To sum up,I would like to reiterate that non-academic subjects such as cooking and physical education should stay in school syllabus along with academic subjects .It would increase the quality of life of children.
ammus1   
May 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / Line graph for the consumption and production of energy [3]

Hai friends,please correct my graph and my exam is nearer.Thanks in advance for ur patience and time.

The line graph presents the statistics for the US consumption and production of energy during a period of 50 years from 1950 to2000 and it also shows projections up to 2025.

Overall,both consumption and production of energy increased significantly from1950 to 2000,although the consumption of energy was higher than the production,with a rise of almost 35 units.Whereas,the figures up to 2025 show the gap between the use and production will widen and will reach almost 65 units difference in 2025.

In 1950,the figures for both consumption and production of energy was around 25 units and it was increased to almost 65 units in 1975.Since then,the imports of US production was fluctuated and only a gradual increase noted in the year 2000 with 70 units.While the use of energy grew steadily with some fluctuations and reached nearly 100 units in 2000.

It is evident from the graph that,the projections up to 2025 reveals that the consumption of energy will rose steadily and will attain at its peak level in 2025 with 145 units.Meanwhile, the production of energy will also rise but it is much lower than the consumption with almost 80 units.




ammus1   
May 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / Traffic problems in city; new roads and railway networks, sub ways and skylines [5]

Hai friends ,please check my essay and thanks in advance for ur valuable time and patience.

Ques:The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel for work,education or shopping.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Ans:The world that we live in today is dominated by traffic problems.Some people tend to think that the only way to combat this problem is by decreasing the need to travel for work place,education and shopping.However,I believe that there are some other measures to tackle this issue.

To begin with,I agree that the advancement of technology helps people to do all their jobs from their home itself.For example,e-learning and e-shopping are very popular among people in our society.Nevertheless,it is not sure that everybody wants to do this from their home especially ,elderly.Old people,they like to go out and socialise with other people and it completely depends upon the people's choice.Thus this is not an acceptable solution for this problem.

However,there are some alternative measures to solve this problem.Firstly,government can charge a levy from the private vehicle owners for parking which helps to reduce the traffic to a certain extent and this money can use to build new roads,subways and skylines.A similar system has been running in London,and has resulted in fewer vehicles on the roads.Another solution of this problem is that encourage people to use public transport rather than their own vehicles.Moreover ,government should allow and build more pedestrian areas for the public in metropolitan areas.Therefore,there are many ways to tackle this problem.

To sum up,I would like to reiterate that nobody can stop the people to go to work,shopping and education.Wheras,there are some other measures to tackle this issue such as new roads and railway networks,sub ways and skylines.It helps the people to increase their quality of life.
ammus1   
May 12, 2014
Writing Feedback / Misbehaviour of students at school [4]

Hai friends,please correct my essay ,thanks in advance

Ques:Today many schools face problems with misbehaviour of students.what are the main reasons behind it.What solutions can be taken.

Ans:Thesedays,many schools confront issues with misbehaviour of students.There are many reasons behind this situation.However,some remedies can be taken to overcome this menace.

The primary reason for such a behaviour of students at school is lack of love,care and support from the family.In most of the families,for example,both parents are working to meet their living expenses.Thus they do not get time to spend with their children at home which would adversely affect the behaviour of children. Another reason is freedom of children ,especially in western countries like UK,children have the right to take decisions and choices at their very early age compared to eastern cultures .Therefore ,the crime rate in western countries is higher than the eastern countries.Moreover,by watching violent programmes from television also affects the children's behaviour because they try to do those activities in their daily life.

Nevertheless,misdemeanour of students can be rectified to an extent.Firstly,parents are the first teachers of their children and they should spend more time with their children which would help the pupils to lead a better life.Also,teachers play a pivotal role in overall development of the children.So they should be strict and teach the children about the moral and social values along with academic subjects.Furthermore,governments can impose rules such as to check the children before they enter school in order to make sure that they are not carry any weapons to school.Thus they can avoid or decrease anti social activities of children to some extent.

To sum up,antisocial behaviour of students is one the major issue in our society.By taking necessary action it can be ward off and hopefully in the future children will develop a better behaviour.
ammus1   
May 10, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: FRESH WATER SUPPLY [7]

Hai friend, better to write ur opinion in the introduction itself, it would increase your score.
ammus1   
May 8, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS Graph: Most popular travel destinations for UK people [5]

Hai friends,please correct my graph and thanks in advance.

Ques:The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK,and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit.

Ans:The line graph provides information about the people who visits to and from the UK over a period of 20 years and the bar chart illustrates the most popular destinations visited by the UK residents in the year 1999.

Overall,both UK and overseas residents travel to and from UK was increased significantly during the given period.However ,the number of people who visited abroad was far higher than the visits of overseas residents to the UK.Moreover,the most popular destination among the UK residents is France which is accounted for approximately11 million people.

In 1979, only 10 million overseas people visited the UK,then it gradually increase to approximately12 million people in the middle of 1984 and 1989.Since then,it increased dramatically and reached almost 25 million people in 1999.Similarly ,12 million UK residents visited abroad in 1979 and it attained 20 million in1986.From then onwards,it increased sharply and reached at its peak level with around 55million in 1999.

As from the bar chart,France was the most popular destination among the UK people followed by Spain,USA and Greece.The least popular country among them was Turkey which accounted for almost 3 million people.
ammus1   
Apr 22, 2014
Writing Feedback / An increasing number of people change their career and place of residence [3]

Hai friends please correct my essay ,thanks in advance.

Ques:Nowadays an increasing number of people change their career and place of residence several times during their life.Is this is a positive or negative development.

Change is inevitable in everybody's life.However,there exists controversies on the matter whether people change their job and house many times in their life is beneficial for them or not.Hence I do firmly affirm that changes brings matremendously.tive development s for the individual.

To begin with,some people think that they get bored and tired when they do monotonous job and they feel more happy and energetic when they do different career in their life.Moreover,they are always interested to learn new technolo

gies, which is very important in this competitive world.Apart from that,with the effect of globalization, people can find jobs anywhere in the world very easily compared to past.So in order to get good remuneration people change their jobs many times in their life.For example, a friend of mine who was a pharmacist in India ,came to the UK 3 years ago studied nursing and he is a staff nurse in the UK now.Thus his financial status and life style has changed tremendously. Similarly, when people move to new places they automatically change their houses to access the workplace and the schools for their children easily.Another important reason why people changes their residence is when they get babies they need more space.Thus they move from smaller houses to bigger houses to lead a comfortable life.

On the other hand,some people do not like to change their routines and they may even stick to the same job and house until the end of their life.These people do not get any good opportunities or any progress in their life and they would not show any interest to study new technologies in order to cope up with new generation.For instance,One of my neighbours,who is in her 60's and she has got a routine since morning onwards.Even though she is not well she is very reluctant to change their routines and she force her carer to follow the same routines the one she followed.Thus they find happiness in their monotonous life style.

To sum up,I would like to reiterate that change is unavoidable and it would increase the quality of life of people.
ammus1   
Apr 16, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS bar - post-school qualifications in Australia; 70%<females undergraduate [6]

Hai friends,this is my first post for tsk 1,please correct it,thanks in advance.

Que:The chart below shows the different
levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

Ans:The bar chart depicts the percentage of men and women who enrolled in five different post-school qualifications in Australia in the year 1999.Overall,it can be seen that the highest percentage of females studied Under graduate diploma.Whereas,most of the males were interested in Skilled vocational diploma compared to other qualifications.

Turning to the details of females,it is evident from the graph that,more than 70 per cent of females enrolled in Under graduate diploma,which was the highest among females .The second highest was Bachelor's degree followed by Master's degree and post graduate diploma.The least popular course among women was skilled Vocational diploma,which was 10%.

For males,in contrast,more than 90% of males studied Vocational diploma,which was the most popular course among them. The percentage of males studied Post graduate diploma,Master's degree and Bachelor's degree were 70,60 and 50% respectively. Only 40% of males studied under graduate diploma,which was the lowest.

To conclude,females showed more interest to study Undergraduate diploma,while males showed less interest towards it.Similarly, majority of males enrolled in skilled vocational diploma but only a few females studied that course.
ammus1   
Apr 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / Fixed punishment or flexible one? [5]

Linh, I read ur essay, I feel that ur introduction is too short and better to state ur opinion in the introduction itself . Moreover, leave a space inbetween in the paragraphs and try to write good conclusion, which will help you to impress the examiner and get a good score.
ammus1   
Apr 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / parents go abroad for work with their family. [8]

IELTS some parents tend to go abroad for work with their family. Does the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Thesedays,more and more people are emigrating to overseas for better career and life.Although this development has both positive and negative outcomes, I personally believe that the benefits of people working abroad is far higher than the drawbacks.

Primarily, people are offered good remuneration in abroad compared to their home country, which is very essential for them to look after their family properly.In India,for example,nurses get a very less salary.whereas,in theUK they are not only well paid but also they get some respect and value in the society.Moreover,some parents wanted to give a better education for their children.so they move from their native place to abroad for the better future for the children.Thus they can study in famous universities such as oxford and cambridge.Also,people want to settle in a country with good weather because in some countries people are facing lot of problems such as drought and other health related problems.so living and working abroad is beneficial for people in many ways.

On the other hand ,this development has some disadvantages too.First,living expenses in foreign countries is increasing day by day.so in order to meet that, parents are working hard and they do not get time to spend with their children,which would affect the overall development of the children.second,people have to study a foreign language in order to converse with the native

speakers.Again,people may lose their own culture and tradition and adapt the new culture and as a result people have less contact with their blood relatives in their home land.

To sum up,I would like to reiterate that,the advantages of parents going abroad for work with their family is far outweigh the disadvantages and it would increase the quality of life of people.
ammus1   
Apr 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Stagnation in Health and fitness [5]

Try to write a good hook and u didn't say what u r going to say in further paragraphs in the introduction. Follow dumi's instruction for essay structure and try to read good essays , it would help u a lot
ammus1   
Apr 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / Directors of large companies receive high salary; 'Employees are working hard' [9]

Hai friends ,p/s correct this essay and thank you again for your patience.

Directors of large companies usually receive a high salary,while normal workers receive less.some people say it is unfair. To what extent do you agree or did agree?

Everwidening gap in the salaries of directors and normal workers in large companies is a matter of concern today.some people argue that it is not fair to give high remuneration to the directors and a very low to the normal employees. In my opinion, I too believe that the gap between the income of these two categories should be reduced.

Employees are working hard in this modern world to meet their living expenses.They are facing lot of problems in their work
place.First,Normal workers are supervised by superior staffs ,so they are working under pressurised condition.Similarly,they are doing heavy physical work compared to directors.Moreover,due to this heavy workload most of the workers more likely to get diseases mainly back pain which would adversely affect their future life.For example,one of my aunts,who worked as a carer for 10 years and now she is unable to do even house chores due to heavy back pain.

Second,in this competitive world,money is the most essential factor to lead a comfortable life.Therefore normal workers are working 5to 6 days a week,whereas directors are only working half of the hours of normal employees and they are being paid double than them.Thesedays,most of the companies do not give even pay rise to the employees because of financial crisis.Thus employees are struggling to look after their family with low income.

On the other hand,some people think that directors should be paid a lucrative salary because they paid a lot of money in university to get a high qualification and their job is mentally stressed.However,in my opinion eventhough directors have lots of things to do,they are well paid.whereas,in the case of normal workers,they do not get enough remuneration as they deserve.

To sum up,I would like to reiterate that both directors and normal workers have their own role to perform in their work place to increase the profit for the company.so companies should take some proactive steps to reduce the desparity of salaries between them.
ammus1   
Apr 1, 2014
Writing Feedback / 'Today 's children are tomorrow's citizen' - good members of SOCIETY [5]

Hai friends this is my first post please correct it ,thank you in advance for your patience and effort.

IELTS some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others,however, believe that school is the place to learn this.discuss both these views and give your opinion.

'Today 's children are tomorrow's citizen' and it is very important to guide them in a proper way to become a law_abiding individual to the society.some people think that it is the duty of the parents to teach them,while others are of the opinion that it is the responsibility of the schools.This essay intends to analyze both sides of this issue in detail.

On the one hand,parents are the first teachers of their children, especially in thep I'mir early childhood.In fact,children learn each and everything from their parents even if it is bad or good things.For example, if a parent correct or explain the children when they do wrong things such as fight with a neighbou,ring child while they play,it would remind them in their later later life to behave like a good individual to the society.Thus parents play a pivotal role in overall development of the children.

On the other hand,schools also greatly contribute to mould a child in to a productive person to the society.children learn many things from school such as discipline, caring,sharing and good manners.Moreover,by participating in group activities help them to interact with their peers in an accepted manner and perform activities with co_operation.Whereas,they have not get this opportunity In their home.

To sum up,I believe that both teachers and schools play a prominent role in children's development. Each should perform their role in an appropriate way which would help the children to lead a worthy social life.
ammus1   
Mar 25, 2014
Essays / Essay plan - It is possible for older people continue to work? [6]

ammus1
I read your essay and i feel that u didn't state ur opinion clearly in this essay and each body para has to start with a topic sentence,example and concluding sentence.Moreover ,u need to focus on sentence construction,many sentences in ur essay is not ciear as per my knowledge.
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