Writing Feedback / IELTS - ACADEMIC - INTERNET vs CLASSROOM FOR LEARNING LANGUAGES [6]

QUESTION-
Some people say language courses using the internet and allowing you to talk to somebody is a good way to learn. Others, however, believe that study in classrooms is still the best way of learning. Give your opinion on these views and include your own experiences and examples.

RESPONSE-
Nowadays many people try to learn new languages for the purposes of higher studies as well as for immigration to foreign countries. Some people feel that learning a language using internet and talking to someone online is a good way to learn whereas others believe that conventional methods of studying in classrooms is the best way .Both the opinions will be critiqued before a reasoned conclusion is reached.

It is felt by many that learning a language using internet offers a wide range of data pertaining to vocabulary and accuracy of the language. Further, an individual may learn a new language without an extra effort of going to classes. For instance, many Asian students who aspire to pursue their higher education in English speaking countries such as Canada, Australia and England choose distant online courses for learning English. This saves their time as they can learn new words and their meanings just on the click of a button. Thus, it is clear why this argument has garnered a lot of support.

However, learning a language in classroom offers different benefits. Students can do group discussions and further discuss their own problems with the teachers. Moreover, teachers can cater to the needs of individual student. It is reported by many students that even if they choose online courses for learning, eventually they join classes for better understanding of the language and its practice. Thus, it is seen clearly why classrooms are still the best way of learning.

Therefore, to conclude it can be said that although learning online offers comfort and access to wide range of data but learning in a classroom has advantages such as group discussions and motivation by teachers. So, it is opined that classroom learning has greater benefits than learning online.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: ACADEMIC- LINE GRAPH- TOURISTS IN FIVE COUNTRIES [3]

This is a line graph showing number of international tourists arriving in millions to five countries namely Brazil, Egypt, Malaysia, France and U.S.A. from year 1995 to year 2010.

It is observed that maximum number of tourists travelled to U.S.A , while minimum number of tourists travelled to Brazil and Egypt in these years.

U.S.A. had 70 million international tourists in year 1995 and the number steadily grew over five years to around 82 million in year 2000. The number of tourists steadily kept on increasing and reached a mark of 88 million in year 2005 . After that the number remained almost similar to around 85 million till year 2010.France showed a dramatic increase in the number of tourists from 30 million in year 1995 to 60 million in year 2000. The number of tourists then stabilised around 65 million for next five years . Then again from year 2005 to 2010 the number sharply rose to 85 million which is similar to the number of tourists travelling to U.S in year 2010.

Malaysia had almost 25 million tourists, and the number remained similar in all these years. Brazil and Egypt had fairly lower number of tourists i.e around 8-12 million over these years.

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Writing Feedback / ACADEMIC TASK 1- COMPARISON OF PIE CHARTS (leisure activities in U.S.A) [3]

These pie charts compare the percentage of most popular leisure activities in U.S.A. in years 1999 and 2009. It is clear that walking and jogging together constitute almost 35 % of the leisure activities in these years.

In year 1999 and 2009, walking is the most popular leisure activity comprising 29 % and 31 % of activities respectively. The next most important leisure activity is participation in sports such as soccer, swimming, bicycling and aerobics. These four activities contribute to a total of 51% in year 1999 and 47 % in year 2009.

It is seen that popularity of swimming doubled from 9% to 18% during these years. Popularity of aerobics decreased dramatically from 13% in 1999 to 4% in 2009. Another interesting fact to be noticed is that yoga completely disappeared in 2009 as compared to 1999. Moreover, weight lifting became popular in 2009 comprising 10% of all activities

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: Academic - Sales of two companies [6]

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year.

Write a short report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart predicts the estimated sales of jeans of two companies Mango and Jack & Jones in thousands of pairs for the next year. The pie chart depicts the projected market share of each company at end of next year.

According to the bar graph, the sales of company Jack and Jones will always be more than company Mango , except in months of July and August. The sales of mango company will rise steadily till month of August reaching 500,000 pairs and then stabilize in months of September, October and November . Finally,the sales will increase to 600,000 pairs in month of December.The sales of company Jack and Jones will fluctuate around 400,000 pairs till August and then rise steadily till month of December reaching to a mark of 900,000 pairs. Further, both the companies have their maximum sales in month of December.

The pie chart depicts that half of the market share will be divided among these two companies at the end of the year , 30 % with Jack & Jones and 20 % with Mango.

Thus , to conclude , it can be said that the bar graph and pie chart co relate with each other showing more sales and thus more projected market share for company Jack & Jones.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS - EFFECT OF CELEBRITIES ON YOUTH [3]

Topic - Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements . Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people .

To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Response -
Young people all over the world are greatly influenced by media and celebrities. These celebrities are popular among younger generations because of their glamorous lifestyles . It is agreed that following celebrities can be dangerous for the youth . This will be proven by looking at how health and personality of young people is affected by following celebrities as their mentors.

First of all, it is seen that following celebrities blindly affects the health of adolescents . Many young people indulge themselves in drugs and start smoking at an early age. For example , in a survey carried out in a university , it was asked to students that why did they start smoking, then around forty percent of individuals answered that they wanted to look like their favorite screen actor while smoking cigarettes. This example makes it clear that imitating celebrities has a negative influence on health of young individuals.

Secondly, it is believed that when youth follows celebrities it affects personality of young people in a bad way. Adolescents follow not only the make up and attire of their favorite stars but also their behavior. For instance recently in a poll conducted by an American magazine it was found that most of the parents and teachers complain that teenagers use derogatory words and abusive language at home and at schools.So, this example makes it obvious that these glamorous celebrities have a poor effect on the conduct of young people.

Thus to conclude , it can be said that when young people follow celebrities ,it affects their health as well as behavior in a negative way. This has an overall effect on personality and future of an individual. Therefore it is recommended that young people should be educated not to follow these celebrities blindly, rather they should focus on their career so that they may hope for a bright future.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2- MACHINES - POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE FOR HUMANS [6]

Topic - The use of machines are increasing day by day which is reducing physical work done by humans .
Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Response -

Advancements in technology have touched new heights in past few decades. This can be seen no where clearer than in increasing use of machines now a days. These machines reduce the physical work done by humans. Some people think that this is a positive development while others believe it to be disadvantageous for humans.Both sides will be critiqued before a reasoned conclusion is reached.

It is felt by many that the usage of machines is harmful for health of humans since machines decrease the work done by people. For example, in many institutions staircases are replaced by lifts now a days. People opt for elevators instead of climbing one or two flight of stairs . It is confirmed in a number of researches that daily usage of elevators in workplaces promotes obesity .So this example clearly shows the linkage between using machines and adverse health effects .

On other side of the coin , many people believe that usage of machines makes work easier and less time is consumed for doing similar amount of work. Take the example of use of food processors in kitchens. The work of chopping, blending, grating, kneading has become so easy that people can not imagine their lives without this simple machine at their homes. Thus it is very obvious that using machines makes daily tasks less time consuming and less cumbersome.

After analyzing these two points of view , it is believed that using machines is advantageous as machines make work easy and smooth. The negative effects on health can be put on the back seat because there are many other ways to exercise and stay healthy . Therefore, it is hoped that in coming time people will enjoy using more and more machines and will choose alternative ways to stay disease free .

Writing Feedback / IELTS -Levels of youth crime are increasing [5]

QUESTION - You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.

What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

You should write at least 250 words.

RESPONSE -

Crime is defined as the violation of law. Recently there has been a sharp increase in the number of cases of young people committing crimes all over the world. This is an alarming issue for the society as well as the young individuals. Unemployment and family abuse are suggested as the two main reasons for increase in cases of juvenile delinquency Solutions such as implementation of employment schemes and family education will be analysed for viability .

Firstly, it is felt that the main cause of increased crime rate among young individuals is unemployment . Lack of job leads to frustration and poor financial status. So, many young people commit crimes such as looting and stealing to cope with their frustration and to get some money.For example , it has been observed that there are increased cases of youth crime after the global financial crisis hit the world. A research conducted at a European University has confirmed that more than sixty percent of young people committing crime are unemployed . Thus it is suggested that government should implement employment schemes to help young individuals get jobs. As more and more people will be employed , lesser number of individuals will resort to criminal activities . Thus, employment appears as a promising solution to the problem .

Familial abuse in younger years of life is proposed as a reason for increased cases of youth crime. Due to nonsupporting families and poor parenting , young individuals vent out their anger by committing unlawful activities . For instance , in a study carried out on young criminals in Australia, It was found that most of the criminals face rejection from parents and suffer from emotional abuse during their childhood . Therefore , to curb this problem , parents should be educated to be supportive and loving towards their young ones . Children should be taught to report parental abuse and disputes to appropriate helping organisations.

To conclude , it can be said that the society itself is responsible for increase in cases of juvenile delinquency. If governments take appropriate steps to employ young individuals and address family abuse issues seriously , this evil can be nipped in the bud.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task - CHANGING CAREER AND PLACE OF LIVING ; POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE? [7]

Essay Question - An increasing number of people changed their career and place of residence several times in their life. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

Change is an inevitable part of life . To excel in their lives, many people now a days change their careers and places of residence . It is agreed that changing careers is a positive development for an individual as well as for the society .This argument will be proven by looking at how changing careers can help an individual to become financially secure and to explore his own potential in different arenas .

It is felt by many that changing careers ensures financial security because people shift their careers to earn better salaries . For example , in India , it is observed that many engineers switch their careers to banking and finance and then to management , because of huge salaries in these sectors .Thus it clearly shows that people change their careers to earn monetary benefits . Therefore changing careers during life is considered as a positive development.

In addition to this, changing careers offers an individual to explore his potential in different sectors . There have been many people who have excelled in various fields unrelated to their area of expertise. Take example of famous Indian cricketer Navjot Singh Sidhu . He switched careers from becoming a cricketer, commentator ,coach and a politician .He has been successful in almost all the fields . From this example it is clear that working in different sectors gives an opportunity to take risks and explore other areas. This makes life more interesting and enjoyable . Thus , it can be seen that changing careers has a good influence on the overall development of an individual.

Conclusively it can be said that the benefits of changing careers are manifold. It leads to better financial status as well as an individual gets a chance to try his luck in other careers. Thus it is believed that in the coming time more and more people will change their careers leading to more fulfilling lives.