fauziyahtami
Oct 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Surprising History Behind the Scary Clown Phenomenon [2]
Hello Bams,
Hope you enjoy your time, lemme give you some suggestion
==> (a)(or you can mention Years ago) Long time ago, the cre(e )py clowns had been appear (ing/ed? depend on the time),
==> fis r(s) t of all the clowns were marginal grouph s society in America.
==> They alwaysfun(n)y dressed(tend to make me confuse--> they always dress uniquely)but(and) they make up the(their) face with freak style.
==>Thisphenonema(phenomenon--> singular) not only occur in the USA but also in the several countries.
==> The clowns (were-->past tense) popular as scary creatur(e) s because their style was very strangerin the(among) society.
==> Therefore they are popular as cre(e) py creatures.
==> Spreading of the scary clownsare(is) very rapidly.
==> ... they became enemiesin the(among/ between) several country(ies--> several-->plural) .
==>However, After 19 century, (the) condition of clowns became better thanthe 19 century (before--> you have done mention it),
==> Charles Dickens (L--> capital for place name)l ondon flokflore(folklore) member grouph(this sentence tend to make me confuse)(Charles Dickens is a member of London's folklore group has) changed of scary ..
==>In the 20 century, clowns industry(ie) s have been rapidly ...
The police had arrests(ed--> had need V3) all of (the) scary clowns and right now,
==> ... and in the several countries (later) .
*be aware with plural and singular
*you have done several typos
*your sentence structure sometimes tends to make reader confuse, try to make it easily to understand
Good luck and keep writing :)
Hello Bams,
Hope you enjoy your time, lemme give you some suggestion
==> (a)(or you can mention Years ago) Long time ago, the cre(e )py clowns had been appear (ing/ed? depend on the time),
==> fi
==> They always
==>This
==> The clowns (were-->past tense) popular as scary creatur(e) s because their style was very stranger
==> Therefore they are popular as cre(e) py creatures.
==> Spreading of the scary clowns
==> ... they became enemies
==>However, After 19 century, (the) condition of clowns became better than
==> Charles Dickens (L--> capital for place name)
==>In the 20 century, clowns industr
The police had arrest
==> ... and in the several countries (later) .
*be aware with plural and singular
*you have done several typos
*your sentence structure sometimes tends to make reader confuse, try to make it easily to understand
Good luck and keep writing :)