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Posts by AhmadNashran
Name: Ahmad Nashran Humaidi
Joined: Oct 30, 2016
Last Post: Nov 3, 2016
Threads: 9
Posts: 13  
Likes: 1
From: Indonesia
School: English Studio

Displayed posts: 22
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AhmadNashran   
Nov 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The students who only give more focus on learning activity get under pressure, and it's wrong [2]

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Answer :

In several nations, the young ages do not have much pastime to do other activities except study. Moreover, the students who only give more focus on learning activity get under pressure which is believed to affect bad impact for them. There are several causes for these phenomena, but also a number of measures we can take which I will outline now.

In my point of view, the main cause is probably the student's high obsession. It is common condition since for some students have a high tendency to compete with their friends to reach high level and score in the school. It is likely called as self's pride when they can be the best among others. Furthermore, related to aforementioned factor, parents take a control of their children include forcing them to learn very diligently. As the effect, their children have to involve to their parents' obsession as well.

As a matter of fact, there are various steps that can be taken to solve the problem. Actually, there is no wrong with an obsession, but usually by having too high obsession, it causes uncontrolled self. Because of that, the children have to control their obsession by understanding that they need to freeze up their mind and give portion for their brain and body. Moreover, parents have to realize that getting a lot of pressure affects bad impact for their children's health. In the event that both parents and children cooperate in managing time to study, it will probably help them to control their obsession and good for their health.

To sum up, we can say that high personal obsession and parent's pressure are the keys causes behind these trend. However, it can be solve by cooperating both of them in understanding impact of too high obsession and a lot of pressure. Managing time to study is the important way to tackle that condition as well.
AhmadNashran   
Nov 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / People sometimes use a special garment because of several conditions that require them to use it [4]

Hi Wilyaftika. here I have some suggestions for your writing

Nowadays, most of the people respect to the people aboutbecause of kind of clothes ...
... that do not give a conclusion to someone withby what they are use.
... several conditions that should they to use it.require them to use it

As a result, they will buying several garments that same withas the actress and they wear thosetowhen go to campus every ...
AhmadNashran   
Nov 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / In this competitive era, having capability in second language is a requirement. Kids & languages [3]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer:

In this competitive era, having capability in second language is a requirement. Some people argue that it is important to young generation to be able to speak in different language to prepare themselves in long-run. I do believe that language is the crucial tool to be able to communicate to others. It should be started from an early age, due to the fact that language is a habit and certainly takes a long time.

Learning in childhood is like carve in the stone. It means that when children get particular knowledge especially foreign language, they can catch it faster and saved firmly in their memory. A 2010 physiological education study revealed that the early age child can faster understand a case by watching and imitating. In the learning foreign language's case, when the children get earlier, they have much time to imitate, rehears and practice. Moreover, it can develop their self-confidence and knowledge as well. By understanding other language, they can study more references and comprehensive.

In addition, in the event that the children who study foreign language in the early years, it help them to get good career in the long-run when they are an adult. It is generally fact that, as the world becomes more global, many companies require for participant who can communicate in other language. It is very helpful if the children can start their study earlier to prepare themselves to meet the requirement.

To conclude, it is obviously seen that the young students will get a great quantities of lucks when they learn and practice foreign language from early age.
AhmadNashran   
Nov 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The People Perspectives to Others by Their Clothes Wear [3]

Hi Sarlinda. here I have some suggestion for your writing

... have rapidly changed,. Every people as a part of fashions marketing targets ...

... person as tools for makesing classification states

... the standard of criteria for separated the people's class by ...

the society that comes from high economic class havecan been identified by their clothes styles that includes any luxury or branded thingsproduct , such as branded clothes, (...) another high-level class thingsgoods and this standard automatically ...
AhmadNashran   
Nov 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Today is the child's picture in the future. Writing Task 2; Attending School and Homeschooling [2]

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.

Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion


Answer:

Today is the child's picture in the future. For the purpose of this reason, some people tend to send their child to school while others have a tendency to take their child get homeschooling for themselves development. I personally believe that both approaches have valuable impact.

Taking attending school approaches at first. It is generally known that when children study in school, they will interact with their same age friends or even with other level students. All of children take part in group activities and learn how to make decision for their program. In the class, they cooperate in the certain case which is needed comprehensive skill such as communication and respect mentality. Those are important for them in mentality development.

Another approach is homeschooling. Even though this method is not as popular as the former's one, this way has positive impact for the children, since school at home has possible more focus on particular subject. The children can improve their dominant skill or subject, so they can be expert on that. By doing this approach, parents or teacher can give full attention to them which it can encourage themselves faster. In addition, parents can control their children's time and interaction.

To sum up, whatever approaches that people choose, it is important to consider the children's condition. No matter attending to school or homeschooling which children get, those can influence the children's development. On the other word, the more we can take them in the right place, the more they have bright future.
AhmadNashran   
Nov 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Various clothes have the particular function to impress someone else. [4]

Hi Septi. here i Have some suggestions for your writing

... that the clothes hashave its particular function...

some societyies think that others cannot ...
It is because not everybodyno one has the same economical ...

However, it does not validate for everyone who wears simple dr
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Task 1 IELTS; The number of children ever born, Women aged 40-44 years [NEW]

The table gives the information about the percentage of women aged 40-44 years gave birth to the different of children's number during 25 years, started 1981 to 2006. Overall, it can be seen that the highest proportion was the mothers who were born 2 children inthe the whole of the given years. Then, it followed by three children in the same period.

According to the table, the majority of women aged 40-44 years gave birth to 2 children which there was slight growth in each provided years, namely more than a quarter to almost two-fifth in 1981 until 2006. While three children dominated the second level with average approximately a quarter. Yet, it seemed a declining trend.

In the same condition, decreasing figure was also experienced by the aged mothers who had four or more children, by 27.6% in 1981 down to about one in ten. On the other hand, the rest number such as none and one child rose gradually with an average increase of about 3% in each year.
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The growth rates of global population and the prediction of population number in two different areas [2]

Task 1 IELTS; Information on Global Population Figures and Figures for Urban Populations

The line graph and bar chart give the information about the growth rates of global population and the prediction of population number in two different areas. For the purpose of world population growth, it is seen during three centuries started 1800 to the prediction in 2100, while the number of people who live in developed and developing areas will be predicted started 2015 to 2040. Overall, it can be seen that the global population increased gradually until 2000 and forecasted continually rise during four decades before will decline to last period, while the majority of people predicted will live in developing country with increasing gradually.

In 1800, the number of people stood at 1 billion which followed by a gradual increase during one and a half centuries up to 6 billion. After this period, the number predicted will continually grow and reach a peak at approximately 8 billion people. However, in the next period, the trend will decline down to about 6 billion in the last given year.

Furthermore, it is obvious that in the future time, the people will tend to live in the developing country. It is clear regarding the bar chart that there will be a gradual increase in every five years and 2040 forecasted will break the record of the highest one, about 4 billion people. By contrast, they who stay alive in a developed country will have stable figures in the whole of the given years.
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The proportion of babies in Australia born from mother aged 40 - 44, during two decades [4]

hi Asmaraj, here I have some suggestions for your writing

... of women without a child, having (...) experiencesed an increase while (...) children decreased continuously until ...

... three or four children havehad high number ...

... 25 years at all periods. While itwhich had nearly same (...) 27% and 29%.,Moreover, in the last period, only mothers (...) experienced an significant increase significantly reaching 38.3%
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Japanese people had the smallest proportion to travel abroad in 1985, but it has changed until 1995 [3]

Task 1 IELTS; The Number of People who travelled abroad

The table gives the information about the number of people in three different countries who visited abroad during a decade, started 1985 to 1995, it calculated by million. Overall, at the first glance, it is evident that the most dramatic increase occurred for Japanese people. In contrast, Canadian experienced a slight decrease, while the figure for Australian remained stable.

Regarding the table, even though Japanese people had the smallest proportion to travel abroad, by 4.9 million in 1985, a dramatic increase occurred after a decade about three-fold in 1995. This phenomenon was contrasted when it was for Canadian tourists which as the second highest proportion in 1985, it experienced slight decrease precisely 5 million in the following given year, from 6 to 5.5 million.

In addition, for the purpose of Australian people who spent their time to travel abroad, they broke the record of the highest one. Yet, its trend showed stable which increased very slightly, from 7.1 to 7.2 million between 1985 and 1995 respectively.
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task I, Household expenditure over sixty-year period [3]

hi chachaa, here I have some suggestions for your writing

... purposes experienced a dramatic increase ...

Over the sixty-year period. the expenditure in (...) declined 0.3 percent .
... increase about 10.4 percent than its percentage in 1950.
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The condition of Japan's population during 75 years [2]

Task 1 IELTS; Japan's Population; Past, Present and Future Trends

The chart and table show the condition of Japan's population in the past, present and future the condition of Japan's population. Overall, it can be seen that the population trend increased gradually in every 5 years since 1950 until 2005. However, in 2010-215, there was slight decrease and predicted continually will be downward until 2055 which the elder people who are over 65s will be the highest one compare with other given years.

There was a gradual rise of Japan's population from 84.1 up to 127.8 since 1950 to 2010 respectively. Then, its number declined slowly down to 125.4 million in 2015. This population predicted will drop dramatically in 2055 by the number will be 89.9 million people.

On the other side, 1950 saw the smallest number of population of the people who were aged over 65 years, it was under one in twenty of the total population. The proportion of this classification continually increased until its prediction in 2055 as well. It is obvious that 25.7 million of elder people population were a fifth of the total population in 2005. Then, 2035 will take a portion for over two-fifths of the total population.
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Medals earned by the best athletes in Olympic Games 2012 [3]

Hi chachaaa, here I have some suggestion on your writing

... the total number of medals waswere 104.

... number of medals waswere 88 and 38 goldsenmedals .
... with 29 and 24 golden(adjective form) medals.
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task I _ Household's Basic Needs Expenses [2]

Hi Hujjatul19, here I have some suggestion for your writing

... household's basic needs(as I know, there is no plural form as modifier) expenses between ...

... transportation and others that took only ...
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The table shows how far an average person travelled by two different ways; walking and driving a car [2]

Task 1 IELTS; Average Distance in Miles Travelled per Person per year

The table gives the information about how far the average people travelled by two different ways; walking and driving a car, between 1985 and 2000, it measured by miles. Overall, at the first glance, it is evident that the farthest distance that travelled by mean persons were using a car in both of years. In the event that it is compared with by walking, they were the significant gap.

In 1985, people travelled further by driving a car in average 3,199 miles. This interval was getting far more and more approximately more than 1000 miles in 2000. It shows that there was a significant increase for people did travel by driving a car.

On the other hand, on the occasion of the people walked, the average length reached only 255 miles per person per year in 1985. However, when it came to 2000, the distance travelled by average people who walked decreased slightly down to 237 miles.
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Top ten countries which won medals in the capital of UK 2012 Olympic Games [2]

Hi Hujjatul19, here I have some suggestions for your writing

... information about medals(as I know, there is no plural pattern in modifier) quantityies that waswere obtained by top ten ...

... and silver medals were won mostly by the United States thus ...

... there were 46 golden(adjective form) medals, 29 silver medals and the rest was bronze medals

... since it only won 24 golden medals
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The information about how much time the people of different occupations spend to sleep and awake [2]

The given chart gives the information about how much of time the people spend to sleep and awake regarding five different occupations in an entire day. Overall, it can be seen that the people who work as a doctor have the least sleep times.

Turning first to the doctor, during 24 hours, the doctor only allocates their five hours to sleep, namely at 1 until 7 a.m. which they wake an hour between 3 and 4 a.m. Then, it followed by people who have a job to be a truck driver and business executive which for these jobs need an hour longer than the doctor. Yet, there is the differentiation of schedule between both of them. As the business executive, their five hours of sleep they perform at 11 p.m. until 5 a.m. sequentially. Interestingly, the people job as a truck driver has the varied bedtime which sleeps an hour at 6 p.m. and wakes for twelve hours before they start to sleep for three hours at 7-10 a.m. and their last two hours at 4-6 p.m.

In addition, the occupations which have the opportunity to sleep longer are the student and housewife. Anyone who has these statuses sleeps for eight hours. However, the student starts sleeping at 11 p.m. until 7 a.m. sequentially, while as a full-time mother starts sleeping an hour earlier than student during the first three hours. Furthermore, they continue to have a sleep for three hours at 3-6 a.m. before they sleep again at 1-3 p.m. after they wake for seven hours to do their job.
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Letters / UNIPDU FT C - this is a latter to Achmad Fatchur Roziq [3]

do you miss me too ?

imI'm sure you will love it, ...
i will take you to many palacesplaces like a Malioboro, Borobudur tampletemple , Parang Tritis bechbeach , that all is athose are thebeutyfubeautiful places in Jogjakarta. I know that you like shopingshopping and selfie in the beautyfulbeautiful place. I recomendrecommend you to visit here a couple of weeks

Hopefully, we can meet soon, my best friend.

I found many misspelling words in your writing. pay attention to every word and the quantifier noun agreement.
AhmadNashran   
Oct 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: Global Population Figures & Figures for Urban Populations in Different World Regions [3]

Then, there is(was) a gradual increase (...) one and a half centuryies and then will rise sharply reaching ...
After over a half- century, the trend predicted will experiences a sharp decline until reachingwhich will reach until 6 billion points.

Furthermore, developing countries predicted willhas(have) a huge number of rate populations globally, while develop countries arewill be stable during 35 years.
... of developing countries will increased gradually over ...
According to the picture, the given time are past and future. in my opinion, you have to divide them which the past and future pattern are. and pay attention with the quantifier noun agreement.
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