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"Go to bed" - UC transfer essay prompt 1

4 - How does the anecdote in the beginning tie into you choosing your major? It s a bit unclear, try...

Undergraduatenatsuken - Nov 13, 2009guffaa88 - Nov 14, 2009
A Person With Significant Influence on You--Common App Personal Statement

4 - You an eliminate some of the times you wrote the words "Growing up." I think you should eliminate...

Undergraduatecaisson22 - Nov 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
Contribution Essay (Rice's academic life)

3 - It was late on a school night, and even though the day had been tough, I could do nothing...

Undergraduatesv6554 - Nov 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
"the Spanish classes" - Law School Admission Essay, BC BU NorthEastern etc.

4 - Yes, it is great that you are practicing too write in a way that soothes the reader with a...

Graduatesayruss11 - Nov 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
'Enough Is As Good As A Feast' - Common App Essay-An Important Person, a student of mine

6 - Yes, always make the final draft shorter than the first draft. Less is more. Find ways to cut out...

UndergraduateAida_six - Nov 12, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
Need to strengthen my SOP for bio PhD program

2 - Prevent is a better word here: would prevent me from doing well in America, Hearing about their efforts...

Graduatetinkywinky - Nov 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
TOEFL essay What are some important qualities of a good supervisor

2 - What does this mean? ----> good perception on the man. Do you mean to say this instead? ---->...

Writing Feedbackrmli - Nov 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
Art of mind; Nine types of intelligences

4 - Ha ha! You did so well! I like the beginning...where you found out you were not challenged after all....

Undergraduatepcvrz34g - Nov 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
double or single-spaced & attach my resume? - Application Questions...

9 - That is great, I'm glad it worked out that way. College is a time for transformation, so it is...

UndergraduateKelsey1704 - Nov 11, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
The Graduation Day... (the best day of my life)

7 - Oh, I see. Well, that works well for it......

Writing Feedbackbilal ABUZENAH - Nov 11, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
"Something is wrong," I told myself; U Pitt's , experience

5 - It is great, actually. The reason it seems like you stray off topic is because you did not establish...

Undergraduatetan1800 - Nov 12, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
TOEFL Physical exercise should be required part of every school day

7 - Excellent, at this point, the way to improve it is to cite reliable research data from journals such as...

Writing Feedbackmargarita - Nov 11, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2009
Winter Sonata + Seoul - INTRODUCE OUR REGION

3 - Thankyou very much, Studing Eng is really hard to me ~...

Speechessue123456789 - Nov 8, 2009sue123456789 - Nov 14, 2009
'glorious alumna / colleges for women' - Smith college supplement

2 - Your first part is fine....I don't think anything needs change. Give more points to justify why women education was...

Undergraduateadamsnoopy - Nov 14, 2009hera246 - Nov 14, 2009
husband of my mother's friend - SIGNIFICANT INFLUENCE Common Application Essay

3 - He was born in XXX.... J impresses me with his unbelievable stories, that I really enjoy listening... The...

Undergraduatemia01 - Nov 14, 2009hera246 - Nov 14, 2009
"Peace Lines" - Significant Experience Essay

6 - I like your essay a lot! I think you could make it better though by improving your third paragraph....

UndergraduateKelsey1704 - Nov 11, 2009chaotic_kiddo - Nov 14, 2009
Essay about myself. What is the order to follow in writing this?

7 - A suggestion, I like your descriptions a lot! I think you should focus on your character though as well!...

UndergraduateToyosi - Oct 27, 2009chaotic_kiddo - Nov 14, 2009
"a liberal arts experience" - Bowdoin Supplemental Essay

2 - I'm applying to Bowdoin, too! My fingers are crossed! Some small suggestions: "Taking part in interesting subjects...

Undergraduateccanning10 - Nov 13, 2009RhonWeasley - Nov 14, 2009
"My Family"- UC Prompt

5 - Thank You :) Any other corrections? Is my essay too childish or are the sentence structures way too simple...

Undergraduateqaz419 - Nov 12, 2009qaz419 - Nov 14, 2009
Need Reviews and comment on my SOP - Industrial Engineering

3 - EF_Susan Yup.. Thank yu so much @ EF_Susan I have added that stuff is to explain my backlog in...

Graduatethanigaiparam - Nov 13, 2009thanigaiparam - Nov 14, 2009
UC-'The World I came from' (South-Korean) essay

5 - I really like it! I love the fact that you had such a great experience in each of those...

Undergraduaterobkim320 - Nov 12, 2009Haderdaraide - Nov 14, 2009
UC Prompt 1 - "Only Child"

4 - OH my gosh, this is totally irrelevant but my birthday is also November 20th! Happy early birthday! =] ...

UndergraduateRypto - Oct 28, 2009caisson22 - Nov 13, 2009
IS BEOWULF TRULY A HERO?

3 - your essay makes sense but a thesis sentence would improve it...

Writing FeedbackMGW698 - Nov 12, 2009caslyn1 - Nov 13, 2009
The Special Needs Student that Could- University of California Prompt 1

4 - This is a very great essay! I really think that the content is very well organized, and easy to...

UndergraduateGringoGrande - Nov 11, 2009guswls - Nov 13, 2009
Hard work and persistent efforts will pay off

4 - My parents always tell me that hard work and persistent efforts will pay off and that I should keep...

Undergraduatephhusm2000 - Nov 12, 2009dark horse - Nov 13, 2009
How my environment shape my career aspirations

3 - i really like your piece of writing . Your writing surly reflects your love for environment but i think...

Undergraduatejohn7777 - Nov 12, 2009dark horse - Nov 13, 2009
"Prom" - Creativity Essay

4 - thanks linmark, I'm actually on the fence with this essay, so your criticism made it clearer that I shouldn't...

Undergraduatemacca - Nov 12, 2009macca - Nov 13, 2009
CBEST - 'Working abroad'; Making Important Decision

3 - thanks a lot for all the feedback. I'll keep in mind all the corrections. I hope to practice...

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Nov 12, 2009elainedlcruz - Nov 13, 2009
"A sense of who you are" - Columbia Application Essay

5 - Writing about how you developed over time (i.e. reflected in specific aspects of the commute that evolved over 9...

Undergraduatemazumderj - Nov 11, 2009linmark - Nov 13, 2009
Creative Essay "The Truth" about Poland

2 - These fields contain the utmost beautiful flowers, and the weather is out of this world. It only snows delicious...

Writing Feedbackevildanny2009 - Nov 12, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 13, 2009
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