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Offering Incentives - IELTS Essay

14 - thanks guys...i've been thinking about this..but i'm still confused...like this example below from BBC news: "US forces have "likely...

Writing Feedbackstealthreaction - Aug 21, 2009stealthreaction - Sep 14, 2009
RISD: Extended Rough Draft; I am an Oyster.

3 - I like the overall theme, but the essay begins to go astray when you go into details about your...

Undergraduateamylilkim - Sep 14, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 14, 2009
Response paper for Bill of Divorcement

2 - The focus of the essay is supposed to be the smoking, but you do not mention this theme until...

Writing Feedbackpaolaalonzo - Sep 14, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 14, 2009
"I thank God for each one of my blessing" - University of Michigan essay

4 - thank you so much for your help. it's nice to get another opinion on such a topic without showing...

Undergraduatenjviking2010 - Sep 14, 2009njviking2010 - Sep 14, 2009
"experience is the best teacher" - Practice essay for CLEP Exam

4 - Thanks for the feedback!...

Writing Feedbackjwinzer - Sep 13, 2009jwinzer - Sep 14, 2009
'Some may call it a passion' - FSU essay vires

7 - ^It depends on what it is about......

Undergraduatesportytwin77x - Sep 14, 2009Llamapoop123 - Sep 14, 2009
'She did not stop me then' / 'Harry Potter' - Uchicago extended essays

6 - Lol yeah. I didn't really mean it seriously. Harry Potter will always be a good bedtime read for me...

Undergraduatepurplesocks - Sep 13, 2009Llamapoop123 - Sep 14, 2009
UC prompt 1 - how Scouting has shaped who I am today

5 - If you want to include some reflection on the importance of Scouting, you could do so after opening with...

Undergraduatekhoi1092 - Sep 13, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 14, 2009
An 18-month Vacation-an FSU essay

5 - Good Job! I like the way you write the last sentence in paragraph two: "This experience was a key...

UndergraduateKClevel17 - Sep 13, 2009Kelz0 - Sep 14, 2009
Univeristy of Texas Essay- Essay E

4 - New and Improved version When you ask a person my age, why did you vote for the person...

Undergraduateredsox099 - Sep 13, 2009redsox099 - Sep 14, 2009
"Being a Beijing Yatou..." [university of michigan (diversity)]

5 - ^I've traveled with my parents... Did you travel to quench your desire for traveling or was it more...

Undergraduatejyxff - Sep 14, 2009Llamapoop123 - Sep 14, 2009
'Salvadoran culture and multiculture' - UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN---diversity

4 - ^I would think that you were either assigned the book or that you chose to read the book...

UndergraduateMercyme90213 - Sep 13, 2009Llamapoop123 - Sep 14, 2009
"my time studying physics" - Stanford short essay- intellectual vitality

3 - I will try and tighten it up tonight/tomorrow, as well as change up my wording in the beginning. ...

Undergraduatekart00cj - Sep 13, 2009kart00cj - Sep 14, 2009
"ainy Monday summer morning" - Common Application Essay - topic of choice

2 - I did not feel... It is too early... Do you see the problems -- one grammatical, the other...

Undergraduateiceyjammie - Sep 13, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 14, 2009
TOEFL: Media are paying too much attention to public figures' personal life?

2 - This looks good for a TOEFL essay. Just a few punctuation problems... The interrogations of the media often...

Writing Feedbacklitingjiao - Sep 13, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 14, 2009
"my obstacle was acne" UCF Essay

12 - The writer didn't elaborate on how he changed and gained confidence back.. My bad.. I get excited...

Undergraduatejojo2fly - Sep 7, 2009Mayada - Sep 14, 2009
"Use you have put your earnings to" - Short Answer Questions

3 - I think these answers are fine....

Undergraduatetkkt1 - Sep 13, 2009Liebe - Sep 14, 2009
The prompt asks - A/D: teachers should be compensated based on how well their students do

9 - Points not strong enough. If they are paid they can buy a car to drive to school earlier....

EssaysKeng - Sep 12, 2009jgv115 - Sep 14, 2009
Teacher lecture or students do some of the talking? which do you prefer?

5 - You're right danielh. I think I will just focus on the basic sentence structure right now. I don't want...

Writing Feedbackmrarching - Sep 11, 2009litingjiao - Sep 13, 2009
"Success doesn't come to you" - UCF Essay

4 - Look over your comma usage, some points have commas where there should be a conjunction....

Undergraduatewoah_amie - Sep 13, 2009BoNyKiD07 - Sep 13, 2009
Cornell Engineering Essay - Aircraft doors

4 - Nice start, but it's too long of a sentence to start by.. Oh Gosh engineering is...

Undergraduatejake_c - Sep 13, 2009Mayada - Sep 13, 2009
Common App - 'She taught me how to skate' - An influential person

11 - I apologize.. I should have quoted the whole sentence then, lol. Sorry anyway.. As you might have noticed,...

Undergraduatejiaxing - Sep 13, 2009Mayada - Sep 13, 2009
Toefl topic -- why should people attend the university?

4 - EF_Simone kma721 i will improve it! really appreciate your help....

Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 13, 2009Jin - Sep 13, 2009
WILL WOMEN LEADERS BE LESS VIOLENT THAN MEN, GIVE EXAMPLE AND OPINION

6 - Naturally society expects men to be leaders and for women to be kind and gentle. For a woman to...

Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 11, 2009danielh - Sep 13, 2009
Intro to CommonApp Essay "Evaluate a significant experience & its impact on you"

11 - Okay so I thought I'd put up the first intro I came up with just to see which one...

UndergraduateJDBorough2150 - Sep 13, 2009JDBorough2150 - Sep 13, 2009
Scout's understanding of Atticus' life - To Kill A Mockingbird -- grade 10 essay

5 - What instructions did your teacher give? Be sure to follow those! In general, it's a good idea to do...

Book Reportsichigo1411 - Mar 23, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 13, 2009
"develop expanded thought" - UT admission essay

3 - Yea i was afraid that i was going too far beyond the real problem. I just wanted to make...

Undergraduatecbun - Sep 13, 2009cbun - Sep 13, 2009
Essay on Science (to pursue the proposed field of study)

3 - This is a very likable essay, as Ugla said. However, try to give the ending more emotional power....

Undergraduateeternal flame - Sep 13, 2009creampuffs - Sep 13, 2009
Professional experience essay using I Can I Will

2 - You can't determine how to start the essay until you've decided what you're going to say in the...

Essayscomet2000 - Sep 13, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 13, 2009
Common App Topic of Choice Essay "tumbling down the rabbit hole"

2 - ^It may have potential to be good if you can work on the analogy. Your analogy as it...

Undergraduateioannidis007 - Sep 12, 2009Liebe - Sep 13, 2009
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