Undergraduate / (small class size+location+student to teacher ratio)What motivated to choose rice? [3]

This will not only allow me to keep in touch with my family in Houston, but will also provide me with opportunities for...

Moreover, the balanced lifestyle enjoyed by Rice's student body adds to my view of Rice as being the perfect fit for me.

During high school, I took numerous night and weekend classes, along with being a full-time student.

... as well opportunities to further my life experiences without compromising the quality of my education.

This is great. Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'Curiosity' - Princeton Topic of Choice [6]

My curiosity is the type of curiosity that constantly overpowers my discretion, with a certain scary consistency.

It gives me insight into what I could know, and relief from the perpetual school derived fear of what I should know.

It divulges paths that are brilliant with flowers blossoming, butterflies blooming-? from gilded cocoons, trees and bushes pregnant with the fruits of their winter labor.

...paths that are infinitely small. My curiosity gives me infinite directions to take. Due to this, I am bequeathed a certain yet unfathomable infinite potential ---You used the word 'infinite' 3 times in this short space. I think you should change one or two to different words so it doesn't sound too repetitive.

Each action reaction pair is an inception of motion that is brilliant beyond comparison. An attempt to compare futile because there is no quantitative measure for the level of beauty or potency of an action.---This whole paragraph is beautifully written!

Therefore, I have the "moved--(?) beautiful motion" of the universe inside of me.

Well I hope that among all the other things you do,
writing stays with you. You are such an excellent writer! I had to read the essay twice, just because of how beautiful it was. Good luck with school.

:)

Writing Feedback / Ielts graph_how the UK spent their time in the year 1982 [3]

As can be seen, housework, shopping, job hunting, visiting friends and reading were the most popular activities of unemployed British people.

This is great! I particularly liked how you started your second paragraph woth, 'Interestingly,...'.

:)

Undergraduate / 'Life in new aspects - On Philosophy' - CommonApp Essay [4]

I think you're very well spoken, intelligent and a great writer. I usually say 'good luck in school' or something, but did not feel you'll need luck! They'll be lucky to have you as a student.

Undergraduate / 'It's not solely about the academics' - Emory University [3]

Today's undergraduate has a very large variety of schools to choose from, but studying at Emory University means significantly more to me than just another school.

It has irrefutably earned its ranking as one of the most globally exalted and renowned universities through its strivereputation for academic excellence through modern practice.

It is the opportunity to explore and expand my interests and coalesce with a diverse group of bright, young scholars and inspirational professors.

I am especially keen to learn attend former president, Jimmy Carter's annual seminar to learn how political, social and economical situations are managed during tough times, such as now.

Another main reason why I aspire to study at Emory University, more specifically Emory College of...

With an average of 7:1 at Emory College and 5:1 and Goizueta Business School, I believe this will provide me with a familiar atmosphere and help me succeed. at Emory.

There are many other reasons why I desire to study at Emory University, and I shall be delighted if I get the chance.

Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'problems caused by globalization' - Georgetown: Walsh School of Foreign Service [4]

The family - bounded to its barren and fruitless surroundings - could not acquire food or socialize despite its purchasing power and affluence.

This allegory relates to the ineffective cooperation between countries in today's globalized world, which ultimately leads to the elimination of productivity, and economic stagnation.

Although political leaders incessantly converge at summits and meetings to find solutions , the unresolved problems of the world continue to manifest themselves daily.

Today's globalization has bounded every country to one another.

This occurrence leads the countries to which the people travel, to become far more innovative than the countries from which the workers came, extending the economic, technological, and social divide between countries.

This new identity must be established by educational systems, which must create an environment which will stimulate the growth of intellects, conscientious and mindful of global coverage.

Collaboration on a global level will not only foster the growth of national economies, but also restore the spirit of competition necessary for scientific and technological advancements.

:)

Undergraduate / Stanford roommate essay: 'asian, born in Brazil and lives in Canada' [4]

First of all, let me introduce myself.

Being from Brazil, I have always wanted to find out if what happened in the movies was real.

Interestingly, some of my Canadian friends already became used to me asking : "is it just like in those movies?"

A funny moment like that was when I first saw a Yellow School bus, since I thought they didn't exist in real life, and freaked out about it.

And if you ever require assistance, I assure you that I will always try to help you to the best of my best ability , even if that means dropping what I am currently working on.

Also I have a great passion for sports, and I can adapt to different sports quickly.

I admit I don't have the best body build (I may be the skinniest person you ever know); yet I got onto the rugby team.

And even though I got wrecked during every rugby game, I love the thrill that the sport gives me.

This is a great essay, it shows your sense of humor and that you're a nice person and seem like you'd be easy to get along with. Good luck with school!

:)

Graduate / 'drug-drug interactions' + 'personal issues' - extenuating circumstances [2]

I started to do things differently, such as yoga and keeping a more up to date planner.

I looked at this as an opportunity to as way for me toto become a more experienced pharmacist.

Next, I began an internship at the Environmental and Health Sciences Institute where I...

I see my studies as a path to helping others, which is why I take out time to volunteer for organizations and events that are in need of assistance.

I have seen what lack of patient education and interaction can possibly lead to, therefore I have to finish what I started.

This is a great essay with a powerful ending. They'll be lucky to have you as a student.
:)

---------------------------------------------

Undergraduate / 'a perfect college, my dream college' - Emory Required Supplement [3]

Emory University and Oxford College both meet every little detail of my idea of a perfect college, my dream college.

They have the best education standards, high levels of diversity, a great reputation, and a beautiful campus.

Since Emory/Oxford excels in the science department, as an aspiring dentist or pharmacist, Emory fits the picture precisely.

But---no comma here--- the diverse environment is one of the best qualities about Emory and Oxford.

I love diversity, and learning about new customs and traditions comes easily to me.

They have the city life that I crave and the quieter areas , the best of both worlds; the lights and the commotion without the all-around-the-city campus.

Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'Life in new aspects - On Philosophy' - CommonApp Essay [4]

My journey, though a long one, began with short but subtle questions. They seemed straightforward at the first sight , but when examined deeply, they became the most difficult questions known to a man.

And I must admit, it was a skeptical stage of my life where I faced the power of how, what and why alone, so I decided to dedicate my time to philosophy by attending philosophy classes and reading the books of many important philosophers, but somehow it turned out to be the changing point of my life!---This should be revised for clarity. Maybe you could just make 2 sentences out of this long one?

And by applying philosophy to our lives , we liberate ourselves from the chains of misconception and follow the path in to sound reasoning, and hence a better life!

... the beginning of the 20th century, and this led to an ideological problem of self-destruction; in the disappearance of the new thought and philosophizing, we become enslaved by the unoriginal thought that destructs us from within and then leads us to ignorance.---This is very confusing!

:)

Undergraduate / 'Grade 8 Camp leader' + 'Fundraising' - UBC admission essays [6]

The activity listed above that is currently helping me achieve my goals would have to be activity 2 (grad committee).

My goals to achieve while I am on the grad committee is to fundraise as much money possible in order to decrease the costs of certain things- like prom tickets.

H owever, I also want to gain leadership skills and life experiences through coming up with fundraising ideas and executing them with the help of delegating or working independently.

During D ecember, the grad committee had to brainstorm ideas that could help raise more money.

I suggested that we use polaroid cameras and have a "Picture with Santa" at school.

I was to calculate the costs and such, to execute this event.

:)

Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY_should children be taught to be co-operative or competitive? [3]

Indeed, a sense of competitiveness is essential, especially for children to better their personal performance.

If children are soon taught to be competitive, they might as well be familiar with stiff rivalries and have a rational perspective.

Thus, schools often stick examination results on the bulletin board .afterwards

In short, one of the effective ways to stimulate children's initiative is training them in competitiveness.

Unquestionably, schools are supposed to nurture the co-operation among children to meet the demands of employers.

You made some great points! Good luck with school.

:)

Undergraduate / Significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken - about acting [6]

This usually results in them shaking their heads , perceiving my answer as something that a small kid would say that doesn't make sense.

What is seen is beautiful array of four different colors swarming up from the corners into the middle of the container and blending , creating a mix of emotions.

Anger shown in the red, comes creeping quickly yet silently, along with the smooth swiftness of the calming blue, exuberant prances from the happy yellow, added with the slight tinge of an envious green.---This is great writing!

To me, acting is a way of expressing parts of yourself that society might not accept on a stage or in front of a camera.

It is used as an excuse, a filter that automatically makes one's actions or personality acceptable.

Many people think that the emotions felt by an actor are not the same as those experienced in real life.

No, but what might be felt is the fear of a self-denial of a person confronting a certain problem.---(?)

Great ending! Good luck in school and have fun! I'm off to try the milk experiment!

:)

Undergraduate / 'about coffee addiction' - Stanford - Roommate Essay [4]

But soon, I became more adventurous, branching out to lattes, mochas, and cappuccinos.

AndAs I drifted further and further into(?) those cloyingly sweet drinks, my curiosity led me to the one thing that...

Next year, I'm looking to break the habit once and for all.---'Next year', that's funny!

This is great! It shows your funny sense of humor and dedication to your studies! Good luck with school and your addiction!

:)

Undergraduate / 'brought up and raised primarily in Beirut, Lebanon' - STANFORD SUPPLEMENT [6]

I think your essay is great, as you certainly answered the prompt of 'what matters to you and why'. You had a great beginning and ending, you didn't waste words and it was interesting all the way through. I will look up that author today, and you will surely love the Prophet. I particularly love the part right after 'Speak to us of children...'

Undergraduate / 'brought up and raised primarily in Beirut, Lebanon' - STANFORD SUPPLEMENT [6]

I was brought up and raised primarily in Beirut, Lebanon, a city rich in beauty and magnificence, but unfortunately for many of its residents, it is also a land where poverty is a way of life.

In many aspects, Marquez's Colombia is very much similar to my Beirut.

...ourselves from the ceaseless fighting in hopes of recovering from the ashes of conflict, to make sure that no one, anywhere, and at no time should go hungry.

Kahlil Gibran's book The Prophet is my all time favorite book.

:)

Undergraduate / 'a responsibility towards my society' - Common app personal [6]

"Now, mom is going to taunt me about my tanned feet" I thought.

Being from a middle-class Indian family, corruption was not new to me.

While travelling by train I and some of my friends were forcefully put into a different compartment of the train, just because some minister did not want any civilians in his compartment.

Is my individual participation going to make any difference ?

As a child, I always saw acceptance to this easy way of getting this done.---Do you mean that passive acceptance is easier than fighting?

This change was my acceptance into LPCUWC.---You should tell what this stands for here.

When I interacted with a village woman, she told me about her plight.

I realized that have a responsibility towards my society and that every decision I make affects the culture of the society I live in.

I was still hungry, but the hidden power I had discovered kept me going.

:)

Undergraduate / 'transformed into reality' - Common App: Robotics [3]

(The process of?) Building a robot is a mentally stimulating journey.

Final testing to ensure that all parts work harmoniously, signals the end of the journey.

...programming, robotics has granted me the overwhelming power to give life to my wildest intellections .---I wasn't sure about this word and had to look it up. Perfect!

:)

Undergraduate / Yale Supp't Essay- The Trouble with Math [4]

During class, I would often lower my head and tirelessly work away at the presented problem; often, I would shamefully hang my head from despair when realizing the answer was off by several numbers.

However, I did not give up - I ploughed on, practicing frequently on my own time.

During my first semesters of high school, I found math to be even more devilish than before.---This is great!

I would rather have preferred spending my time painting, reading, or writing poetry.

I was never going to be like the whizzes I saw on television, answering questions in a matter of milliseconds.

It is this, in fact, that has benefited me in my quest for intellectual vitality; the most successful talents are the ones practiced!---Well said!

Although I am still not the greatest test-taker for math, I have managed to clear the fog from the most basic concepts. I will never be a Gauss, or a Hilbert. However, I may someday hope to pursue the shadows of Steinbeck, Perlman, and Balanchine.

I think your essay is great, especially the ending! Good luck with school.

:)

Undergraduate / Cornell ILR supplement: passion for efficiency [3]

In retrospect, the idea of efficiency has fascinated me from an early age.

Mundane, yet essential tasks such as washing up in the morning and completing household chores were always mental assignments as much as they were physical ones.---Oh, I feel the same way!

I realized that the order and manner of execution were the keys to minimizing the time and effort required for the work.

This mentality of efficiency became subconscious as I involvedincorporated it into everything I did.

As a result, I would walk away doubling the cash my otherwise stagnant wallet.

There was an immediate sense of cause and effect, wherein my reward was the result of my efficiency.---Also of the good idea you had!

During some of my high school years in particular, a well-orchestrated course of action granted an extra hour of sleep.---I like the way you write!

My passion would enable me to fulfill essential components of the ILR curriculum, such as analyzing data in order to make well-informed decisions that will reap the most benefit.

Through it all, there is no other place better suited to nurture my growth.

:)

Undergraduate / 'beyond the realm of traditional engineering' - why Northwestern/engineering? [4]

...the Happiness Club, and joining a community of fellow Wildcats, dedicated to making the most of their undergraduate experiences.

The McCormick School of Engineering and Applied Sciences is the perfect place for me to learn engineering from a creative, design-oriented perspective, and its wide range of extracurricular offerings would make it easy for me to get involved in the campus community.

Your essay is very well thought out and written. They'll be lucky to have you as a student! Good luck with school.

:)

Undergraduate / 'friends who teased me' - The other option- Describe an activity [4]

I insisted that my mother to ask around for any sports group that I could join.

Time proved me wrong however , and as I developed, I wanted to play more often.

Basketball taught me discipline, sharing, and sacrificing something for the greater good.

I eventually managed to get onto a basketball team.

My discipline on the court also helped me concentrate better off the court.

I quitted playing that online game, and instead, I preferred to do my homework and studies.

Great essay! Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'Magdi Yacoub is the reason' -a person who has had a significant influence [5]

I could not comprehend its significance, as I had never seen the commercial before, nor having been familiar with the Magdi Yacoub Heart Foundation.

Magdi Yacoub is the reason I can proudly say that I want to be a cardiac surgeon and help those who are less fortunate and be the very best at what I do.

I began to volunteer at the local hospital whenever I could, to help patients and learn as much about the medical field as possible.

Magdi Yacoub inspired me to always try my best and to accept the fact that sometimes this may entail failure, but that one can only improve because of it.

I was tempted to stop a few times while reading your essay, to say 'you are an excellent writer! Whatever school you go to, well, they'll be lucky to have you as a student. Good luck with school and in all you do!

:)

Graduate / 'Mathematics and Pakistan' - my SOP [3]

During school, I always struggled to maintain high grades.

At that time I was interested in Electrical Engineering, and I used to question myself as to...

In my country, Pakistan, computer science was a fascinating field at that time.

I did a search, and I found that Computer Science is a broad field consisting of many branches and several applications in other disciplines, from Anthropology to Zoology.

The purpose of my doctoral studies is to serve my nation by imparting the latest knowledge in my field of specialization and to be involved in research work for my country.

Overall I have been the distinguishing student throughout my academic career.

Therefore, I believe that the culmination of my undergraduate, master's studies, and three years professional experiences has molded me...

However, what made me to choose it to follow my education in are its great labs with its up-to-date research facilities and the varied and profound courses.

They'll be lucky to have you as a student! Good luck with school!

:)

Undergraduate / I've had my answer cut off - consequences? [4]

OH!! I don't think you should be too worried, I'm sure they'll realize it was just a mistake! I assume they're smart enough to know that. They'll probably realize that you were nervous and just didn't realize it had been cut off. No worries! Good luck with school!

:)

Undergraduate / 'to fuse the history of medicine' - Johns Hopkins- why you chose course of study [3]

I seek to understand the intricacies of this very chain and relay the lessons of our past to the future, because I strive to benefit...

My desire is to fuse the history of medicine with the future and take part in new innovations that will be sure to change lives.

Our past makes use human, the mistakes and triumphs throughout history have defined...

I want to focus on the human side of sciences in order to prove that there is still hope in a field where physicians sometimes forget the humanity in patients and opt to treat the disease instead of the individual.---Well said!

I aim to form a link in both disciplines in order to benefit my career path, so the intricate mix of studies that I plan to pursue...

:)

Undergraduate / 'to pursue a human undertaking' - Georgetown significant activity essay [8]

Our club encourages members to pursue a human undertaking in order to discover a passion for humanity.---This is a little bit vague.

A new beginning arrived with my senior year,when I took the initiative and launched The Water Project Chapter within my high school.

After viewing news stories about the lack of adequate drinking water in third world countries, I felt compelled to take a stand and speak up for my generation.---This is so great!

Thousands of teenagers in Africa are dying due to dehydration; a simple issue which could be fixed.

I was drawn to one particular story of sacrifice where a teenage boy gave up his water in order to quench the thirst of his pregnant mother .

We started small by setting up fundraisers, and soon acquired a large following.

Our efforts expanded to selling hand made bracelets which stated, "be the change". This endeavor forever changed our campaign, because we raised numerous funds.

This helped outline the main reason for our campaign, and we were able to raise enough funds to build three wells so families could have clean drinking water.

This is so great! The world needs more people like you! Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'biological sciences as a major' - Georgetown - Second impressions are everything [3]

Ever since I'd visited Georgetown for the second time, I feel like it has been pulling me by the minute .---I changed this word, because it was a bit confusing having the word 'second' in the sentence twice and with 2 different meanings. :)

Unlike some other schools I'm applying to, Georgetown offers biological sciences as a major; which broadens the opportunity to concentrate on a variety of things.---This is way too vague.

Leaning towards Georgetown for its great reputation, as well as having an interest in becoming a neurologist, I've decided to concentrate on neurobiology.

Competitive to Georgetown is Johns Hopkins who is number three for the top neurology schools, whereas Georgetown is number 33.---This sounds bad, as you're putting down the school and implying you'll settle for it.

My mother being the social butterfly that she is has connections to Georgetown University's Hospital; therefore, networking my way to a residential position at the hospital wouldn't be as much of a challenge. ---This makes you sound a little pretentious and possibly not very motivated to study.

I think that as you mentioned twice that you went there for the second time, you should tell under what circumstances you were there the first time. Were you a student?

:)

Undergraduate / 'Large paratubal cysts' - Significant challenge UBC Supplemental [3]

Throughout my high school years, I have been a consistent honor roll student, due to my competitive personality.

However, it was not until my penultimate ---I'm pretty sure that hardly anyone will know this word. I think you should write 'senior', if it was your last year.

The shock is still fresh in my mind; the moment I held with trembling hands, the report of my ultrasound.

Within a few minutes, my mother decided to bring me to Taiwan, where she could find a competent surgeon as this surgery could determine my life.

As I am writing this, it has been a month since I have returned from a successful surgery.

Thus I am confident that my dedication will put me above the others in the Bachelor of Science Program.

I'm not so sure the last part sounds very nice, but I know what you mean. Good luck with school!

:)

Undergraduate / 'playing with legos' - Pratt Institute Architecture Essay [3]

It was one of the first presents I had opened, and it didn't seem to be anything special, just a tiny wrapped box with my name on it.

I opened it up and my face lit up immediately.

I'd make houses, buildings, cars, towns, cities; you name it, I'd built it.

As a child, nothing stands in your way of building whatever you want, you can be as creative as you want and in the end you were always happy with your work.---This sentence could be left out if you have to cut the essay down a little.

To this day, I love being able to experiment...

As I grew up I can still remember having my friends over and spending days and nights just building with the legos. Without realizing it I had submersed myself into a life of architecture from such a young age. ---This could also be cut.

Since my freshman year of high school, I have been involved in Odyssey of the Mind, which has allowed me to design scenery and props for performances on regional, state, and national levels.

Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'the environment I love' - Why NYU? essay question [10]

As an artist, I'm constantly looking for new ideas, and the multitude of majors and minors offered at NYU would allow...

:)

Undergraduate / 'history is a perforce' - Cornell Essay [5]

I find myself applying the knowledge I've acquired in a classroom to the world and imagining the varying perspectives that that somehow coexist.

On a personal level, historical context and perspective plays a major roles in my spoken word poetry.

My take on history is that it is always in progress---This is great!--- and can be the answer to questions as simple as explaining the function of a button or the mechanics of a nuclear bomb.

Both the Cornell Abroad Program and Model United Nations club would comprehensively give me a hands-on opportunities...

If accepted to Cornell University, I intend to continue my participation in the Model United Nations.

Pursuing a degree in sociology or political science at Cornell might hopefully allow me to explore my interests on an international scale while connecting with students and professors within the campus as well.

The arts programs might present new opportunities to express myself through modern forms that I would not have alternatively been exposed to pursuing a degree in sociology or political science.---This sentence is long and confusing. You should revise for clarity.

Nice ending sentence. I hope this is helpful! Have fun in school!

:)

Undergraduate / "Fervor and Fire" - Stanford Supplement essays [3]

My early mornings may be dreary, but every day ---Two words here.--- I am revived through their fervor and fire (pun intended).:)

-------------------------

We shall always have food in the our dorm room , if that wasn't a given already.

I have a sister, so I am already used to sharing everything with her.

I know that there are some split feelings for him, as people tend to either love him or hate him, in my experience.

I hope this helps! Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'Seeing the World Through Sand' - Common App Short Extracurricular Essay [7]

Have you ever seen the art of Kseniya Simonova from Ukraine's got Talent? You can find her on youtube, she's amazing.

Undergraduate / 'Seeing the World Through Sand' - Common App Short Extracurricular Essay [7]

No, I tell my stories with sand.

...and even a concierge clerk who's met people from all walks of the earthlife , but has never ventured further than her New York City apartment.

They teach me how to see different perspectives of the same problem and find a solution from what I've learned.

But most of all, they teach me how to create and use what they've taught me, to show to others.

Now I'm going directly to youtube to see what sand art is! Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'Persian-American' + 'The sneaker game' - Tufts is my dream school [4]

The brutality of New York City slaps you in the face, waking you up with its inflexible attitude , demands and patterns.---This is some great writing!

------------------------------

My sneakers became the driver, and I rode shotgun.---Again, this is such great writing.

I thought the sneakers made me cooler than everyone else.

I made friends at a quick ratequickly , but these "friends" simply liked me because of how I looked, and not my persona.

Ever since my enlightenment, brought on by Hindu and Buddhist principles, I began to devalue aesthetics, which one can see by my marred jeans, dirty sneakers, and untamed bush-like afro and instead, focused more on my personality.

This seems to need one last sentence to round it out. I really like the way you write though, and hope you have fun in school. Good luck!

:)

Scholarship / 'a hardworking and passionate person' - Why I Deserve This Scholarship [6]

I know that I deserve this scholarship, because I am a hardworking and passionate person.

Whenever I have a goal or see something that I want, I will continually work hard to get it. I repeatedly tell myself that I will be successful at achieving my doctorate in Medicine, and no one ---nothing--- will stop me from being so.

I will not let multiple minimum wage jobs become distractions to me getting my education.---Does this mean you refuse to take a low paying job right now?

Even now, I find myself being highly distracted by my extracurricular activities such as volleyball and cheer leading .

Maybe this essay would be better if you tell more about why you want to study Biology and medicine, instead of what you don't want to do. And at the end, are you saying nothing will distract you but your cheer leading and volleyball are distracting? Concentrate on your main subject. You really should try to sound more focused and serious. Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / UofRochester "Ever Better"-I locked myself in a locker [4]

After vigorously pushing on the door, I thought the locker would be my tomb.

I'd locked myself into a locker because I was curious about whether I could fit inside .

However, I won't give up exploring my curiosity, yet I learned a better way of approaching it .

Instead of reckless trying, deep consideration and careful research should be the first step.

I hope this helps!

:)

Undergraduate / Lack of cooking skill-Common app Essay [7]

I can solve a Rubik's cube within a few minutes and win almost any limbo competition that I throw myself into.

Used to these kinds of questions, I simply laugh and joke that I will live off of frozen foods and whatever else I can find,...

...--looking more like the scene of a crime than a place that harbors artistic innovations.---This is so funny! You're an excellent writer!

While I cannot cook, I can do so much more, helping me to better appreciate my strengths and weaknesses and appreciate my unique qualities.

This is great, I really like the way you write. Your essay is personal and funny, showing your good nature and unique personality. Good luck in school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / "Enjoying what I do..." -- [STANFORD] What matters to you and why? [3]

Growing up among driven, ambitious peers, the race to put another high-powered internship or leadership position on my resume' was fierce.

I listened to my friends complain about their hectic schedules, filled with volunteer positions at the local hospital and local tutoring gigs and hotshot internships.

Much of what they were complaining about had littleless to do with their lack of time as it did with their unhappiness and annoyance of the whole affair.

I committed myself to a few activities in areas that I actually enjoyed, working with kids and doing community service.

I put serious dedication and commitment into the few activities I did have, rather than half-heartedly applying myself into several different areas.

This is coming along just fine! Good luck with school and have fun!

:)