Pahan
Oct 24, 2013
Undergraduate / Our identity is found in our unique stories; Essay for Harvard admission [4]
You can combine these two sentences easily, and I think that would have a better effect;
Our identity is found in our unique stories that beautifully picture our background, experiences and passions.... this is presented slightly different to what you've written about, i mean the idea.
Well.... here I find you talk about so many aspects about your identity. But I feel what they want to know is the one that is more central to your identity.... just give some thought on this!
Our identity is found in our unique stories. Stories which have been build up with our background, experiences and passions.
You can combine these two sentences easily, and I think that would have a better effect;
Our identity is found in our unique stories that beautifully picture our background, experiences and passions.... this is presented slightly different to what you've written about, i mean the idea.
Well.... here I find you talk about so many aspects about your identity. But I feel what they want to know is the one that is more central to your identity.... just give some thought on this!