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Posts by thinhtvdhtm
Joined: Sep 17, 2009
Last Post: Jan 29, 2010
Threads: 41
Posts: 97  

From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 138 / page 2 of 4
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thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / talent is a natural gift or from practice [3]

thanks so much EF_Sean. i know that in this essay, i wrote not well. it is a pretty difficult. could you give me more suggestion help me make it better.

thanks so much
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / causes and solutions for reducing the gap beween rich and poor nations [5]

please check for me! i am preparing for ielts; however, i am bad at writing. thanks for your feedback. i am happy when i can realize my mistakes?

The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

It is considered that the gap between developed and developing countries is bigger now than it has ever been before. In fact, there are many different reasons for this problem. In this writing, I will analyze several crucial causes as well as propose my own solutions to degrade this inequality.

Personally, I believe that advantages about high technology, labor force and capital are responsible for this issue. First of all, most new technology applications take place in developed countries, and there is no doubt that those applications help improve productiveness in all fields of economy such as agriculture, service and industry. In addition, owning a high quality labor force such as scientists, experts, is an important advantage. In rich nations, education systems are much higher than others; thus, people have more chance to be educated further. They not only train their residents, but also attract people who are well qualified from other nations. Last but not least, rich countries have potential finance, which help them invest many fields all over the world.

To reduce this gap, firstly, the key factor is that poor countries should concentrate on improving the quality of labor force through upgrading education systems. They should bring more opportunities for people to take further education as well as encouraging their own residents who are highly qualified and work for other countries. Moreover, states should bring good economics environment for businesses, attract foreign investors to improve potential finance.

It is a difficult task for poor countries to reduce inequality without rich countries' supports. Developed nations should help developing countries for technology, capital, and training. With these supports, solutions for this issue will be more successful.

In conclusion, to reduce the inequality is a task for not only poor countries, but also for rich countries.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 5, 2009
Writing Feedback / causes and solutions for reducing the gap beween rich and poor nations [5]

hi tuan, i am not sure about that phrase. some people have talked to me like that; however, i have seen several essay use this phrase. are you sure about the usage of this phrase? pl give me.

i will correct :hey should bring more opportunities for people to take further education as well as encourage their own residents who are highly qualified and work for other countries.

thank so much, tuan

like u, some time i know but i cannot find any words better.hj. do u have any words can replace for it

have a nice day.
oh, nearly forget to ask, how do u think about my essay? are there any sentences or word should be changed your opinion.
bibi tuan,
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 5, 2009
Writing Feedback / Avantages of watching TV outweight its disadvantages; IInfluence of watching TV [7]

i am preparing for ielts, but i am really worried about my writing? could u give me some comments for this essay, thanks in advance?

pl check for me:grammar, sentence structures, so on

Discussion about advantages and disadvantages of watching television?

There is no doubt that television is one of the most powerful communication in the history of human beings. Due to its appeal, it is difficult for anyone to be able to ignore it; therefore, television has been apart of our lives. Watching television brings us many benefits as well as drawbacks. In this essay, I will analyze both negative and positive influences on ourlives.

On the positive side, there are several advantages from watching television. First of all, watching television is one of the most popular entertainment activities. According to the statistics of a recent survey, in a sample of 1000 children, one hundred percentage of respondents said that they loved watching television in their spare time. Watching television helps people eliminate stress, tension, discomfort. Secondly, people can learn many things from watching television. When watching television, people seem to have chance to know about histories, cultures, lifestyle, which depends on what kinds of programmer they watch.

On the negative side, sometimes, watching television gives people bad influences. Violence is the worst effect of watching television. The more violence people watch, the less sensitive people feel about violence, which can cause of violence in real life. Some people affected by this consequence may do some illegal things without realization. In addition, watching television can destroy communication among people in community. It is natural that the more time people watch, the less time they spend for communicating with others.

In conclusion, personally, I definitely believe that advantages of watching television outweigh disadvantages, and how television influences on our lives depends what people wach, how much they watch, how they respond on what they wach.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 6, 2009
Writing Feedback / Parents are best teachers. They follow us and help us to develop our talent. [5]

personally, yours is quite good, although there are several errors such:parents not parent. but dont worry, they are acceptable in essays. i have been in trouble like u, in ielts i have about 40 minutes, a bit longer than u, but i often spend more. i think the best solution to this difficulty is reading more and more.when it is familiar to u,u can finish on time,

bibi
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / Food has become easier to prepare now , do you agree or not? [13]

i think that yours is quite good,remember that thesis is :Has this change improved the way people live? you have just refer to busy life. what about others? sure, there is no doubt that this change is good for busy people.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / students should take a year between school and Univer for working, traveling [3]

please check for my mistakes, thank so much

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

In some countries, there is a trend that students after completing high school take an off year for traveling or working before beginning studies at university. Some people wonder that whether this trend brings benefits for young people or not. In this essay, I will analyze advantages as well as disadvantages of this trend.

On the one side, taking an off year between finishing high school and beginning university brings some benefit for students. First of all, students who are in good economics condition have chance to reduce tress by traveling as well as to ear money by getting jobs for poor students. After a long study time, it is really good for students to take a rest. The rich students can taking some trips to eliminate anxiety from studies, and the students who have financial difficulty have time to earn money for study costs when they attend university. In addition, young people have good opportunities to experience real life. When they are traveling different places, they can improve their knowledge and experience about the life such as about cultures, lifestyles. For students who get a job they can apply their theoretical knowledge into practices, get experience about working environments, working lifestyles, which is very useful for their future.

On the other side, when young people taking a year for traveling or working may have to meet many difficulties to come back studies. In fact, there are many students who take a job to earn money for university study costs lose university; because, after a working year, they are interested in earning money than attending university. Not only poor students, rich students also find difficult to adapt to studying environment. Although rich students are unlikely to lose university like poor students, they have to spend long time to get accustomed to university environment.

In conclusion, there are both benefits and drawbacks for young people when they decide to take a year between graduating high school and beginning university for working or traveling.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / students should take a year between school and Univer for working, traveling [3]

many thanks to you, EF_Kevin.
to be honest, i cannot decided whether taking a breaking between high school and university is good or not. because, in my own country, students often finish high school in may, and they also take the university entrance exam in july. there is no break. although i love having this break, i have never experienced thus cannot whether it is good or not?

could u help me make a conclusion better? thank so much
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 10, 2009
Writing Feedback / in which ways, computer is a hindrance [3]

check for me please,thanks so much

Some people believe that computers are mot a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them.

In what ways are computers a hindrance?
What is your opinion?

There is no doubt that computer is one of the greatest inventions in the history of human beings; however, nothing is perfect in the real world, and computer is not an exception. Computers bring many advantages for our lives; nevertheless, in some ways, computer is a hindrance in the life. In this essay, drawbacks from using computer will be analyzed as well as benefits.

In some ways, using computers brings several disadvantages for our lives. First of all, people often have to pay a large amount of money to access a computer. For poor people, computer brings inequality to them. They cannot afford a computer; consequently, they do not seen to have chance to use and approach to new technological applications. In addition, computers can destroy addicted who spend too much time with computers. Scientists show that using computer for a non-stop long time can harm his eyes by radiation and back.

However, personally, I believe that computers have made the world better. There are many technological applications carried out with computers in various fields such as economy, health, education, entertainment. Taking some applications of computer in economics field for an example; these applications have improved productiveness rapidly. Before computer invented, there was no software applied in business, and most work was done by human without any support from machines. As a result, efficiency work was low and costs for labor were quite high. However, now with support from computers, people can do more work in less time with low costs. Moreover, computer invention has created other ways for business can meet needs on the markets. In the past, businesses and customers used traditional business: suppliers and customers met in person, but now the development of the internet based on computers allows business transactions can carry out faster, more effectively.

In conclusion, I believe that computer has made our planet becoming a better place for living. Although it comes at a price, its advantages exceed disadvantages.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 11, 2009
Writing Feedback / in which ways, computer is a hindrance [3]

dear EF_Stephen, i was not comfortable with this essay. in this essay, i have to answer :
in which ways, computer is a hindrance. i supported in the second paragraph
what my opinion. i showed my view in the third paragraph. i know that it was not good, because i found it difficult.

could u give me more suggestions to improve my third paragraph?
thank so much
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 11, 2009
Writing Feedback / increase in sale reflect the power of advertisement not for real need [3]

i am preparing for ielts, pl check for me,and give me your comments, suggestions for my essay,thanks so much

Today, the high sales of popular customer goods reflect the power of advertisement and not the real needs for the society in which they are sold.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In the modern society, there is no doubt that commercial advertisement is the most powerful advertised tool for producers to bring their products to customers. Thus, some people hold an opinion that the increase in sales of some popular goods reflects the development of advertisement not for the rise in the real consumption demands. In this essay, I will analyze both sides of this issue.

On the one side, some people in the modern society decide to buy products not only for their own needs. In my own country, there are plenty of commercial advertisements on TV which are performed by famous people. When TV shows those advertisements, famous people's fans who are passional about their idols are more likely to buy that products without consideration about prices and quality of them. These people buy products not for their real demand; they buy that products because of their idols. In addition, there has also appeared a group of people who are rich, famous and want to show their wealthy to communities; these people buy products not to meet their needs. For example, when those people see an advertisement on television about expensive cars with appearance of a famous, rich family, and everyone in community know that it is a luxurious product. It is likely that they will buy this car for their desire having a happy, famous family like that even they have several other cars in garage. These people often do not care about their need, they are willing to pay a large mount of money for products as long as these products help them show their luxury.

On the other side, others people only buy products when these products can meet their real needs. Before making decision to buy any products, they often consider about utilization of products. Advertisement cannot change their consumption habit, and for them, commercial advertisement help them access more information about products such as prices, supplier. The crucial factor for deciding to buy products is value for usage.

In conclusion, I believe that commercial advertisements contribute to increase in sales; however, this selling rises reflect rises in real demands for products not only for the power of advertisement.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 11, 2009
Writing Feedback / Sports professionals are genius like others professional & need to be paid well [4]

Test 2 cambridge 6

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own view,

In the modern society, sports has become more popular than ever before; as a result, there have been more and more young people decide to have a career in sports with desire to become a successful and famous professionals in sport and to be able to earn money. However, some people consider it unfair that sports professionals can earn much more money than others in others professions. In this essay, I will discuss both side of this issue.

On the on side, some people believe that professionals in some important fields deserve to get more money than in sports, and they have showed several reasons to approve their own opinions. For example, a technology professional can improve the life with their inventions and new high technological applications. A health professional can help their patients the way to achieve good health, get a better life, while sports professionals cannot do the same things.

On the other side, professionals in sport obviously deserve to have things what they are now able to have. First of all, sports professionals are people who are talents at sports, and the difference from others important professionals is kind of intelligence: a scientist who is intelligent at logic; a musician who is intelligent at music, and sports professional who is intelligent at sports. In addition, like other professionals, sports professionals also have to learn, practice to be able to become famous and earn lots of money. They also have to go to sports school, practice every day, experience many difficulties. In some sports, they even have to take high risk dangers. Moreover, their jobs also contribute to make the life better because sports is one of the most popular ways to relax for people.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that sports professionals are genius like others professional, and they deserve to be respected and be able to earn a great money.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 11, 2009
Writing Feedback / Sports professionals are genius like others professional & need to be paid well [4]

hi Zoe, thanks so much for your comment. i agree with your opinion that the sports industry generates billions of dollars each year. however, i do not agree that it is easy to become a good doctor. moreover, there are 6 kinds for intelligence.sports professionals are bodily intelligence.

anyway, i have just rewrite, pl check for me, thanks so much~!
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 12, 2009
Writing Feedback / Toefl essay---Technology has made the world a better place to live. [16]

chnology,in another word,the i nvention aiming at developing the society. Recently an accumulating number of people put their emphasis on the hot topic if technology makes our world a better place to live. A fair proportion of people contend that it is true that the development of technology affects us in the positive ways,such as p
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 12, 2009
Writing Feedback / using computer influence on young children [5]

pl check for my grammar, sentence structures, thanks so much

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

In modern society, computers are used in many different fields such as health, education, business, and they have also become more familiar to everyone. However, the question of whether or not there are more benefits than drawbacks for young children using a computer everyday is controversial. Personally, I obviously believe that these advantages outweigh disadvantages.

To begin with, using a computer everyday helps children can learn and upgrade their skill in using computers. When they are good using computer, they can get high marks in subjects involved using computers. They also can use some applications for education on their computer. Moreover, after finishing school, they go to working environment, they can meet requirements about this skill.

In addition, young children can learn more other things when they use computers everyday. Some of them often use computer for reading news, magazine on the internet, which help them improve reading skill as well as knowledge about the surrounding world. Some children say that they can travel all over the world from their armchairs with a computer.

However, some people consider that it is not good for children use computers everyday. They think that children often use computers for playing game, which has negative effects on children. We can deny that using computer for a long time, it is not good for eyes, backbones. Nevertheless, I think that when children play games, they can learn some things not only for entertainment. When they play game, they have to brainstorm to make plans, strategies in order to reach approaches, which help them become more creative. For me for an example, I loved racing car on my computer when I was young. When I played, I had to analyze which part of the race was good for me to run fast without accident. Also, I had to think how I combined with my partners to win others teams.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that using computer everyday brings more benefits than drawbacks for young children. The most important aspect is that what children use computers for and how they use them.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 13, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay "modern technology" [7]

While the development of the modern technology
In the respects of study, some people believe the high developed technology has made the learning more quickly and people have the ability to achieve more information, while the other people disagree with this point. In my opinion, the modern technology does help students learn more information and learn it more quickly to some extent, but the disadvantages of the modern technology also can not be

i think u should notice the way use "the"
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 13, 2009
Writing Feedback / Toefl Independ Essay : where to learn a new language. [3]

Although there are some advantages to of learning a foreign language in its original country, I firmly believe that people who learn a foreign language in the country in which it is spoken have a deeper understanding of different language skills than those who learn the same languages in their own countries.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 13, 2009
Writing Feedback / cause of use the internet and solutions [3]

please check for my grammar, sentence structures, and so on. thanks so much

The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest?

We cannot deny that the internet is one of the most powerful means of communication in the history of humankind. The internet has made our planet become a better place for living; however, it also comes at a price. In this essay, I will analyze the main problems of using the web as well as propose my own solutions to those problems.

First of all, using the internet has some negative effects on young children. Instead of playing some games or sports activities outside in the past, young children now often spend most their free time on playing games on or suffering webs. Scientists show that using computers long time will have bad influence on people's eyes, backbones and make brains become strained. This can cause other problems such as obesity.

In addition, using the web influences in negative way on relationships among members in family. In the past, people used to spend their free time with their families; they had chance to chat and share emotion together, which enhances relationships among members. However, in modern society, people seem prefer spending spare time for suffering the internet to talking to others. Naturally, the more time people spend on the internet, the less time they have for talking to their friends, families, and some time they lose social communication.

Finally, some webs show information which is not accurate, exaggerated or suitable for users. Especially, when people read information about personal life of famous people, writers often overstate about them, even they write some things wrong. Some webs contain information, clips which are not appropriate for users, especially for children such sex or violent webs. When children read and watch them, they will be affected in bad ways.

To prevent those negative effects from using the internet, personally, I think that parents play main role in eliminating bad influences on their children. They should limit time using the internet as well as the number of webs for their children. Simultaneously, parents should give advices and directions for their children about use the internet, and encourage their children to participate in outdoor activities. Moreover, adults should spend their time for suffering the internet appropriately; they should spend time for communicating with friends, family.

In conclusion, although using
the internet brings some disadvantages, we can reduce those effects to minimum if we use web in a positive way.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 13, 2009
Writing Feedback / face to face communication is better than others such as mail, phone... [6]

please check for my essay, i have read several times, but it seem difficult for me to point our my own mistakes, please help me, thanks so much

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication, such as letters, email, or telephone calls. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In modern society, with the rapid development of technology, people have more choices ways to communicate each other such as face to face, letters, emails, or telephones. However, I believe that face to face communication is much better than others, and in this essay, I will analyze some advantages of this kind of communication to support my opinion.

First of all, when people communicate each other in person, they can get responses immediately without misunderstanding. During conversation, people can not only hear responses from others, also see how they are feeling; people can guest what will take place next, how conversation is on, which is very important to have a successful talk. For example, in criminal inspection, face to face communication can know whether or not suspects are telling the truth through the way suspects answer questions, their facial, behaviors and eyes sight.

In addition, using face to face communication helps people express their feelings, ideas much better. Instead of using word only when people choose letters, emails or phone for communication, people can use eye contact, verbal language in order to show their opinions. Scientists show that more than seventy percent people use body or verbal language in communicating; thus, it very important for people use actions to express views.

Last but not least, conversations seem to be longer when people communicate in person. And of course, the more people talk together, the stronger and better relation they have. Take my friend for example. He is an insurance consultant, and he is very busy with his work; however, whenever his customers need advices, he always meets them in person never through phones, emails no matter how important customers they are. He believe that will make relationship with customers stronger and it is a key factor for success in his field.

To sum up, I believe that no matter how developed means of communication they are, face to face is still the most important and effective way for communication.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 13, 2009
Writing Feedback / cause of use the internet and solutions [3]

thanks mocixuan so much, your advices are very useful, thanks so much again, how do y think about this essay?
pl check for me, thanks so much
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 13, 2009
Writing Feedback / government should spend as much money as possible on developing technology [3]

please check for my grammar, sentence structure and ideas. i try to read several times but i cannot find out my mistakes, thanks so much for your comments

Some people think that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spend more on basis needs. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific details and reasons to support your answer

Nowadays, we cannot deny that development in technological field called golden field has made our lives become better than ever before; therefore, some people consider that government should invest as much money as possible in developing and buying computer technology. Personally, I obviously disagree with those people for several reasons which will be analyzed in this essay.

To begin with, without a high qualified labor force, developing and buying computer technology seem to be in little use, so government should spend more money for improving education system. It is certain that a country cannot develop as well as create high technology if they do not educate and train about information technology engineering. In fact, some countries choose other way to develop technology: buying soft ware as well as equipment from developed countries. However, no matter how developed those products are, if labor force are not educated and trained well, they seem to be little useful.

Furthermore, humankind has confronted with many problems such as diseases, disasters which need to be solved as soon as possible. Government should spend more money to improve health systems in order to upgrade living standard. They should use money to train more health workers as well as supply medicines free for poor people, especially in mountainous and remote areas; there is lack of health workers, medicines and equipment for treatment. In addition, the changes in global climate result in more disaster occur; thus, government should spend more money to take some measures such as reproduce forests to prevent severe damage by disasters like floods, erosions and droughts. Moreover, pollution is an urgent problem needed to be solved. Government should invest money to improve public transportation service to reduce waste from vehicles, and for researching to find alternative like green energy.

In conclusion, although development technology help people have better lives, I believe that it will be better when government spends more money to meet basis needs in the life.

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