Undergraduate / "going to the library everyday" - UNC- the best advice you've ever received or given [9]

Would anyone be willing to read this and give feedback? It is my first draft and I need some help! Thanks! :)

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to attend High Performance A1/A2 Camp in Greensboro, North Carolina. The camp is designed for elite players, some of the best in the state. Eventually players are selected from the camp to compete for Carolina Region in the annual High Performance Championship. We had to miles to the gym multiple times a day, and played for three hours three times a day. At the beginning of each session, the main coach, Blaine Tendler, would give us an inspirational quote. The one that most profoundly ...

after edits:

Another mile walk to the gym on a hot June day. Black squares and white tape composed the net; two 30 x 30 squares on the floor marked the boundaries of the volleyball court. Three hours, three times a day for five days. It was High Performance A1/A2 Training Camp, designed for elite players, some of the best in the state. At the start of each session, the head coach, Blaine Tendler, gave us an inspirational quote. The one that resonated with me most was "If you don't go all the way, why go at all?"

If you have never played volleyball, then you must not know how sore you are after playing for nine hours a day in a gym with no air conditioning. Each day gets harder, because more lactic acid has built up in your muscles. Our legs burned when climbing stairs and even sitting down became uncomfortable. Bruises covered our bodies. Red patches on our skin indicated floor burn. My high school coach once said that you're not a true volleyball player until you have bruised hipbones. Blaine's words reverberated in my head constantly. I chose to ignore the massive amounts of pain I was in and instead focus more on improving myself as a volleyball player. I ran everywhere, never walked, made sure my toes were exactly on the line when Blaine yelled "Corner up!" and if a ball hit the floor, I did too. When I was asked how I was feeling, I would smile and answer "Great!" even though I was dehydrated and felt as if I couldn't take another step. What I think Blaine meant was that you can't achieve the desired result if you don't push yourself as hard as you can all the time, no matter what you're doing. If you don't push yourself, you only hurt yourself by not reaching your full potential.

Blaine's words never left me even after the grueling camp was over. I carried over what I had learned that summer into the realm of academia. They say the first semester of college is the hardest one because no one knows what to expect. I mistakenly thought that what worked for me in high school would work in college as well. Simply put, I didn't exert as much effort as I could have and ultimately, did not achieve my goal of getting a 4.0. I stubbornly chose to ignore resources such as the Academic Resource Center and the library. It was only recently that I learned what it meant to "go all the way." Essentially, a perfectly good opportunity would be wasted if I didn't try harder. My college education was too good an opportunity to waste. I still haven't gotten the 4.0 that I want. Despite my failure to achieve my goal on numerous occasions, determination promises a 4.0 in the semesters to come. Achieving this goal will take more effort than I ever could have imagined which is why next semester I plan to hit the books harder because after all the books don't hit back.

Undergraduate / Tf you don't go all the way, why go at all? UNC transfer essay (best advice essay) [8]

If I am wondering whether my essay sucks, that probably means it does. But maybe you guys can help me fix it. I read it over and over again and just don't see how this is going to wow anyone.

What's the best advice you've ever received or given? (500 words)
Another mile walk to the gym on a hot June day. Black squares and white tape composed the net; two 30 x 30 squares on the floor marked the boundaries of the volleyball court. Three hours, three times a day for five days. It was High Performance A1/A2 Training Camp, designed for elite players, some of the best in the state. At the start of each session, the head coach, Blaine Tendler, gave us an inspirational quote. The one that resonated with me most was "If you don't go all the way, why go at all?"

If you have never played volleyball, then you must not know how sore you are after playing for nine hours a day in a gym with no air conditioning. Each day gets harder, because more lactic acid has built up in your muscles. Our legs burned when climbing stairs and even sitting down became uncomfortable. Every inch of me was bruised. Red patches on our skin indicated floor burn. My high school coach once said that you're not a true volleyball player until you have bruised hipbones. Blaine's words reverberated in my head constantly. I chose to ignore the massive amounts of pain I was in and instead focus more on improving myself as a volleyball player. I ran everywhere, never walked, made sure my toes were exactly on the line when Blaine yelled "Corner up!" and if a ball hit the floor, I did too. When I was asked how I was feeling, I would smile and answer "Great!" even though I was dehydrated and felt as if I couldn't take another step. What I think Blaine meant was that you can't achieve the desired result if you don't push yourself as hard as you can all the time, no matter what you're doing. If you don't push yourself, you only hurt yourself by not reaching your full potential.

Blaine's words never left me even after the grueling camp was over. I carried over what I had learned that summer into the realm of academia. They say the first semester of college is the hardest one because no one knows what to expect. I mistakenly thought that what worked for me in high school would work in college as well. I stubbornly chose to ignore resources such as the Academic Resource Center and the library. Simply put, I didn't exert as much effort as I could have and ultimately, did not achieve my goal of getting a 4.0. It was only recently that I learned what it meant to "go all the way." Essentially, a perfectly good opportunity would be wasted if I didn't try harder. My college education was too good an opportunity to waste. I still haven't gotten the 4.0 that I want. Despite my failure to achieve my goal on numerous occasions, determination promises a 4.0 in the semesters to come. Achieving this goal will take more effort than I ever could have imagined which is why next semester I plan to hit the books harder. After all, the books don't hit back.

Undergraduate / The girl who thinks she can (UNC) [15]

What's the best advice you've ever received or given? 500 words

Ok so I have written 2 essays now on the same prompt. One about volleyball and one about swimming. I am still figuring out which one to use, but neither is done. I may even write another one because I have another idea.

The Girl Who Thinks She Can
"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight!" A man sat at the table, strumming his guitar, and singing of all things, the theme song to The Lion King. This was certainly no ordinary sight at Prestonwood Country Club. Meet Honza Holy, the most eccentric person I've ever met. Honza Holy was one of the Prestonwood Piranhas swim team coaches.

I don't know what inspired me to sign up for swim team. As a child, I found the thought of putting my face in the water repulsive. Knowing that Prestonwood was one of the best teams in the league intimidated me. It was second only to its archrival, Lochmere, a team that had won the Cary City Championship for thirteen years straight. Nevertheless, I decided to sign up anyway.

I rode my bike to the pool everyday at four o'clock. Practices were hard for me; I was clueless. Most of the other swimmers had been swimming since they were three or four years old. I always swam in the slow lane where others passed me. One day, our coach told us to do 200 yard IM warm-up. I felt embarrassed asking what "IM" was, but another girl answered me. IM stands for individual medley where you swim fly, back, then breast, then freestyle. I didn't even know how to do a flip turn, which was required for my age group. I have no doubt that I had terrible form as my hands pointlessly slapped through the water, my lungs desperately gasped for air, and my feet occasionally touched the bottom to rest. But I kept swimming.

Two weeks had barely passed before it was time for the first meet. I came in dead last at the time trial so I was the last seed at meets. It took me over one minute to swim 50 yards; a good time is less than half of that. I felt like I was holding everyone up due to my lack of speed, but the coaches stood on the poolside screaming, "Go Lauren!" anyway. Each week, I shaved a few seconds off my time, but I was still the slowest and this was starting to faze me.

Before the Cary City meet, I remember Honza reading a poem, Walter Wintle's "Thinking", to the team. The last verse of the poem read, "But sooner or later the man who wins is the one who thinks he can." Last meet. It was me against the clock. Would I break my personal record? Yes, yes I believed I would. I plowed through the water in 31.93 seconds. Lauren Rackley was no longer the slowest swimmer!

I won an award that season for Second Place Most Improved in my age group. Proud of my achievement, I recognized Honza's poem recital as an admonition to me to stop doubting myself. How could I have doubted myself before? I became discouraged too easily and almost gave up. Now I am the girl who thinks she can.