Writing Feedback / Ielts_writing2: poor children better at solving problems than rich children? [9]

Topic: The children who grow up in a family short of money are more capable of dealing with problems in adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay:

It cannot be denied that financial background has a profound impact on children's upbringing. It is suggested that children living in poor families are more efficient at tackling problems in adulthood than those from affluent families. I am convinced that this is a precise notion.

Poor children are able to make wise decisions when they reach adulthood because they have to get accustomed to hardship from an early age. Poverty means material difficulties. Impoverished parents can never spend enough time on taking care of their children because they are preoccupied with earning a modest income everyday. As a result, those children have to learn to be independent by caring for themselves and working to support the whole family. The living environment for poor children is harsh and even full of temptations and dangers. However, it teaches them helpful lessons about material values and human behavior. Children may make mistakes and suffer failure repeatedly, which makes them mature rapidly. When they grow up, those children will appreciate money and assess people's personalities sensibly.

Conversely, those who are surrounded by extreme care from rich parents have a propensity to be ignorant of the outside world. Since they live satisfactorily with abundant support provided by parents, there seems to be no need for these children to worry about money-related problems. Affluent parents are often overprotective of their children, so they help them to flee from difficulties to the maximum. Consequently, rich children will have trouble deciding by themselves later. More seriously, rich children are often made to study and distance themselves from the society. What they learn about the world is reflected mainly in textbooks and through the mass media, which tend to exaggerate the truth. It is understandable that many rich young adults, without sufficient knowledge of the social life, have an inaccurate view about a number of social issues. Nowadays, summer camps and courses about living skills are organized to help rich children grasp rudimentary know-how about adult life, but learning indirectly is nowhere near as effective as tackling problems head-on and gaining experience afterwards. In short, rich children are likely to have a clumsy approach towards various problems in adulthood due to their lack of practical knowledge.

As discussed above, with regard to problem solving , children from a poor background outdo those from prosperous families. This supports the affirmation that the family background has undisputed influences on children's problem solving skills.

:(( I had a substandard conclusion. Could someone instruct me in how to write conclusions? My ideas for conclusions often dry up.

Writing Feedback / Education is undeniably the driving force in every country's evolution. [6]

Topic: In order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to evaluate and criticise their teachers, but others think it will result in loss of respect and discipline in classroom. What is your opinion?

Education is undeniably the driving force in every country's evolution. One of the proposals for the advancement in teaching and studying is to allow high-school students to state their opinions about their teachers' methods of instructing. I am convinced that it is necessary for this suggestion to be employed due to various reasons.

Some people against this proposal assume that the freedom for high school students to give comments on teachers' performance can be seen as an indication of contempt and lack of discipline. This is a completely misleading view. Teachers who devote themselves to teaching hardly ever take offence at sincere advice from their own students. If their opinions are sounded out in proper ways, teachers could be more obliged to acknowledge their disadvantages. For example, questionnaires can be distributed to students after classes to get instant feedback by marking each teacher on a scale of 10. As regards the age of high-school students, they are mature enough to have a clear conscience and the right to voice their opinions, so preventing them from judging their teachers is apparently unreasonable.

Furthermore, only students can make precise assessments about teachers' approaches towards lessons. Annual theoretical examinations are no longer reliable to evaluate their ability since some tutors may master a thorough specialized knowledge but fail to motivate their students. These teachers are likely to be overrated without students' disinterested criticism. I used to be taught by a mathematics teacher who graduated from a prestigious university. However, he invariably stuck to the textbooks, had few interactions with students and gave stacks of homework day after day. His soporific tone of voice made everyone exhausted. Surprisingly, he was deemed the most excellent teacher that year.

In addition, students' frequent evaluation can considerably stimulate teachers to invent creative ways of teaching. Education has to keep pace with the constant increase in mankind's knowledge. Thus, in all probability , traditional teaching methods will prove to be counter-effective and obsolete. Teachers have to acquaint themselves with innovative approaches to attract students' interest in lessons and continue doing research to have a grasp of new knowledge. For instance, a history teacher in the past may have merely made a list of important events, while today, he will have to create small games like crosswords and encourage teamwork among students so as to make those events more memorable.

From what has been discussed, it is clear that instead of disparaging teachers, invaluable comments from students will help them to make more progress in transmitting knowledge simply and intriguingly. High-quality education can be expected to produce a highly-skilled workforce serving the nation's industrialization and modernization.

Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: today, more school leavers are unable to find jobs. [7]

Topic: today, more school leavers are unable to find jobs. Discuss the causes of rising unemployment among young adults and suggest any solutions./
It is an alarming fact that there has been a surge in the number of unemployed graduates lately. This essay will elaborate on the reasons for the low employment among young people, which has become a burden on the national economy and put forward some possible solutions.

There are three main reasons why many young graduates are jobless nowadays. First of all, the recent economic crisis has had an adverse effect on the nation's economy, which is directly responsible for the loss of jobs. In particular, when countries undergo a period of economic recession, more and more corporations conceivably run into debt and go bankrupt. Consequently, companies manage to survive by dismissing a large number of workers and limiting the employment of young workers so as to reduce expenses.

In addition, most students nowadays tend to pursue tertiary education with a view to acquiring a high-income profession. This leads to an imbalance between white and blue collar workers. While the number of applicants for office work is excessive, manual workers are in desperate demand. Therefore, many young people are unemployed due to their inadequacy for the job in terms of physical ability or harsh competition.

Another important reason that merits consideration concerns the youth themselves. They totally lack practical skills after graduating from the universities. Obviously, companies would prefer to employ workers who have pragmatic experiences and need no training. Moreover, young applicants often have high hopes of promotions and a favorable working environment. It takes them too much time to contemplate job opportunities and, as a result, they lose them all.

Fortunately, many solutions can be proposed to improve the situation. High school graduates who have poor studying performance should be encouraged to attend vocational schools. Learning technical skills may help them to secure a stable job more easily than studying advanced academic knowledge in vain. Additionally, fair and strict entrance examinations, which serve as a comparatively accurate classification of students' ability, ought to be maintained. From the economic point of view, the government must play the vital role in revitalizing production. They can invest a bigger sum of money in industries or reduce unnecessary taxes to help companies make a more rapid recovery. If these solutions are applied, I am convinced that the prospects of the unemployment among young adults are slim in the long run.

In conclusion, the primary causes of unemployment are economic instability and students' job inclination as well as their insufficient qualifications. However, with appropriate solutions in terms of education and economy, this situation will be alleviated and show signs of improvement soon.

Writing Feedback / IELTS (a new shopping complex task, Auckland, New Zealand opinion) [NEW]

THe tables and pie chart show in percentage terms the results of a survey of a new shopping complex in Aukland, NEw Zealand.
The tables and pie chart provide an overview of people's opinion in Auckland, New Zealand about the new shopping complex.
It can be clearly seen from the table that most respondents were satisfied with shops. In particular, slightly more women felt satisfied with shops than their male counterparts, at 71% and 62% respectively. The equal percentage of people in both genders were unhappy with the shops, which was 20%. There were more men than women who did not comment on shops (18 percent and 9 percent).

By comparison, considering restaurants, the difference was significant for the percentage of men and women expressing their satisfaction, with 80% among male shoppers as opposed to only 62% among females. However, the figures for males who had the opposite comment were one fifth as many as those for females (5% as against 21%).

According to the pie chart, the majority of people approved of the design, with 62% indicating their approval, 17% being very satisfied, only 10% dissatisfied and 11% offering no comment.

Overall, the new shopping complex received positive rating from people about shops, restaurants and design.

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years.
What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights?
Do you think flights should be taxed more?
Over the last decades, flying for holidays, business and commerce has become more popular than ever before. However, such flights bring to us not only benefits but also drawbacks. This essay will reflect upon these two opposite aspects and whether we should levy taxes on flights for these purposes.

Travelling by air for leisure purposes is a very practical means of transport, because it is feasible to travel over long distances. For example, if we intended to visit a tourist destination in the South East Asia while living in a Western country such as the US, then travelling by air would prove to be much quicker and more convenient than using ship transportation or train. Likewise, travelling by air promotes the development of commerce. In particular, It is straightforward to maintain the quality of fresh products like organic fruit or vegetables when delivered overseas. As a result, there will probably a wider variety of exported and imported goods. Therefore, travelling by air for this reason is obviously beneficial.

Nevertheless, using air travel still has its own drawback. Specifically, this will lead to increasing carbon production. If we do not restrict the use of airplanes for travelling and commercial purposes, they will release more and more exhaust fumes including carbon, the substance which causes global warming. As a result, the environment will be put in jeopardy, human as well as other creatures will suffer sooner or later.

In view of the potential threat of air travel, it is suggested that there should be an increase in tax on travelling by planes for these purposes . In addition, people should be encouraged to switch to travelling by train or eco-friendly means of transport instead. Holidays can be spent in somewhere closer to home to reduce the demand for flying. On the whole, people should only use airplanes as their last resort.

From analysis suggested above, it is concluded that travelling by air will only be helpful with a moderate frequency. Otherwise, air travel will turn out to be a environmental problem in the future.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: International travel and mass media? 'distinctive tradition of tribes' [NEW]

Topic: The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

It is a fact that the popularity of travelling abroad and mass media is conducive to the understanding between people in different countries. However, these developments bring about major changes positively as well as negatively.

First of all, the ease of international travel is beneficial. Thanks to the innovation in transportation, especially the aviation industry, people have more opportunities to visit famous tourist attractions in the world. They can grasp knowledge of local customs and etiquettes directly instead of reading geological references. As a result, travelers' conception of the culture and society of those countries are impervious to distorted information or stereotypes. In addition, should international travel be encouraged, local residents will become more hospitable and friendly towards visitors. Some minor tribes may be willing to write guide books to introduce their distinctive tradition.

As regards the mass media, especially the Internet and TV, they have played a vital part in popularizing information in geological and social terms instantly. Therefore, people can easily broaden their knowledge about foreign countries in a variety of fields. Thorough understanding will probably help to prevent unexpected conflicts between people from different nations.

Nevertheless, there are possible disadvantages of international travel and mass media. In particular, when people in poorer countries watch TV about developed countries, they might become envious of the luxurious life there. More seriously, travelers from rich countries often regard the locals as inferiors, which is bound to cause local people's grievance, even boycott on the appearance of foreign tourists.

From analysis suggested above, there are significant pros and cons resulting from these developments. In my opinion, advantages still outweigh disadvantages because international travel and mass media have promoted understanding between countries and cultures, which has been one of the greatest developments in modern times.

Writing Feedback / UK has a wider variety of ways of dealing with waste products than the others. [3]

The pie charts below show how dangerous waste products are dealt with in three countries.
Summarise information +comparison.

The pie charts illustrate the current trend in solving hazardous waste products in Republic of Korea, Sweden and the UK.

It can be clearly seen that in Korea, more than two-thirds of the total amount of rubbish is recycled. The other popular methods are burying and burning them, accounting for 22% and 9% respectively.

Similarly, those measures are frequently adopted by Sweden. However, rubbish in Sweden is mainly buried rather than recycled in Korea. Recycling holds the second place with one fourth of the total amount, while incineration remains the least popular method, having the percentage of 20%.

As regards the UK, this country has a wider variety of ways of dealing with waste products than the others. In particular, burying waste is the most popular, whose proportion is 10 times as much as that of chemical treatment or dumping at sea, each of which stands at 8%. Like Sweden and Korea, the smallest amount of rubbish is burnt (2%) in the United Kingdom.

Overall, burying rubbish is the common solution to waste products while burning is restricted in all these countries for the time being.

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay_Should the cost of medicines be reduced? [2]

Many people in the undeveloped world die from diseases that are curable because they can't afford the medication to treat themselves. Do you believe that drug companies in the developed world should be obliged to make their products available at reduced prices in these undeveloped countries so that people do not die unnecessarily?

My essay: At present, a large number of patients in poor countries are suffering from deaths caused by lack of medication rather than dangerous diseases. It is suggested that companies in developed countries ought to reduce their price of medicines to avoid such unnecessary deaths.

Admittedly, more lives will be saved by the use of effective medicines. The medical industry in developing countries is incapable of producing high-quality drugs. With advanced technology, the developed world has achieved remarkable breakthroughs in making medicines, which can cure a variety of serious illnesses. If people in poorer countries gain access to these drugs, their health situations may be better. The reduction in cost of medicines therefore shows the sign of humanity.

However, the current cost of medicines is , in fact, reasonable and based on the medicines' effectiveness. Apparently, the process of researching, testing and producing drugs in masses costs a substantial amount of money. Moreover, these products prove to ensure human health completely. Suppose companies were forced to reduce the cost of drugs, they would make no profit, even running up debt because of production expenditure. Therefore, the measure cannot be adopted, otherwise those companies will go into liquidation. In short, this is not a long-term solution.

Fortunately, there are other measures to improve the situation. It is advisable for the government to encourage medical production by supplying land for building factories and reducing part of the taxes. Additionally, charitable organizations can buy medicines from developed countries and distribute to the undeveloped world for free.

In conclusion, I disagree with reducing the cost of medicines, which may exacerbate their qualities. Instead, the government and medical foundations should be responsible for the distribution of drugs to the undeveloped world at a more reasonable price.