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Posts by mhss
Joined: Feb 26, 2013
Last Post: Apr 21, 2013
Threads: 18
Posts: 53  
Likes: 18
From: Sri Lanka

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mhss   
Feb 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay 2 Achieving good health and fitness through physically demanding sports [3]

Please help me with this IELTS essay.

In some societies it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, most people are finding it difficult to concentrate on their health due to the tight working schedules. In such instances, the emphasis given to healthy diet, exercise and relaxation cannot be guaranteed. Thus, it is important to work on a predetermined schedule in order to cover every aspect of our lives rather than simply leading a life. Therefore, I would firmly believe that concerning on physical health is essential.

Firstly, as far as a healthy life is concerned, it is important to concern on physical exercise, mental relaxation and how to be free of diseases simultaneously. Meanwhile, a well balanced diet consists of fresh fruits and vegetables are crucial for a healthy life and vaccination and other preventive measures, for example quitting smoking and alcohol carries an added benefit. Therefore, concern on these aspects helps people to lead healthier lives. On the other hand, if people neglect their health, they may be carrying a risk of diseases for a long period before being diagnosed. And also the benefit of preventive measures cannot be achieved at the correct time.

Nevertheless, there remain few facts to support the counter argument. Firstly, some preventive measures are expensive where the poor cannot be reached. Simultaneously, there can be harmful effects of certain substances; for example, excess vitamins seem to be harmful. In addition, unsupervised exercise may cause joint ailments that can be considered as an extra burden.

In conclusion, paying emphasis on one's hearth is detrimental and the quality of life will be hindered if preventive measures are not taken at the correct time. Therefore, leading a normal life as it is does not simply mean that a person is healthy and they have to pay from their lives in the long run.
mhss   
Feb 27, 2013
Essays / A HOUSE MADE OF MEMORIES; Descriptive Essay [5]

Second sentence would be better with "This time it was the same trip with out exception".

It should contain 2 opposing views.
Despite she appreciated the water filtering system my mom had just bought her, she didn't use it.

I wanted her to live with us from the day my grandfather passed away as I didn't want her to feel alone.

Every year I beg her to to stay with us but she always refuses. She always says "Stacey this is my life, this is where I belong" which I never understood.

Punctuation,past participal-
As soon as we pulled up the long, narrow and dirt road leading to her small yellow house, a feeling of joy and peace overcome me.

The smell of my favorite Mexican dish spreaded from the old chimney which was built by my grandfather when he was alive, permeated the sky.

She used to sit on the the old squeaky porch which was damaged, turning down my father's offer to fix it.

A long essay, will be back again.
mhss   
Feb 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Reconnecting the Mind and the Heart; TRANSFER TO TEXAS A&M [2]

BEING a young man...in life... ARE

...that allowED me to grow as a student AS WELL AS a person

MEANING IS NOT CLEAR,
To me, attending college is an important part of growing up and to only experience half of it had hindered my performance.

I recognized that my grades suffered because I didn't truly feel committed to my school AND THIS HAS LEAD TO return home to Texas A&M.

Sometimes I will make mistakes EVENTHOUGH I am a good student.
mhss   
Feb 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS graph)The average hours of unpaid work per week [4]

at a glance, there is a significant rise IN the weekly unpaid working hours WITH THE ADVENT OF AN OFFSPRING TO THE FAMILY IN THE GROUP OF married women AS OPPOSE TO men in ALL three categories had no considerable difference.
mhss   
Feb 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS graph) Death rates and Medical funds for Someland in 1990 [5]

Hi, Thanks for the comment.
By the way,It would be better off using collective terms, rather than actual figures in certain instances.

The least five causes of deaths were below the margin of 0.5 million.
Diarrhoeal deaths were 0.5 million and it ACCOUNTED FOR the second major cause of death.
Regards,
mhss.
mhss   
Feb 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS money is spent on keeping pets, while people throughout world are starving [5]

please help me with the IELTS essay 2

Q: Too much attention is paid to and too much money is spent on keeping pets, while people throughout the world are starving.

To what extent do you agree?

A: Some people argue that the attention and money spent on pets are a waste of money and this can be diverted to stop starvation in the third world countries. However, others believe that leading a luxurious life spending more on pets is a privilege of the well-off community. Considering the two aspects, I conclude that, both arguments carry the same amount of gravity.

First of all, pets not only share life with people but also help the people, for instance, the life of the elderly living alone is safeguarded. Nowadays, pets are trained to guide their deaf or blind masters, to smell people to identify when they are sick or in danger and to provide safety in farmlands. In addition, in a broader perspective, animals are used in the police in order to catch the offenders. Similarly, they can be used to rescue those who are lost in the snow or deserts. Therefore pets are used successfully in both domestic and community based services.

When the counter argument is taken into account, a huge sum of money is allocated for pets in bringing up, treatment and training purposes. It is worthwhile assessing to what extent it is ethical to keep people starved, reserving money for the maintenance of pets. It is not only the adults, but also the children are dying in significant numbers due to lack of money to spend on food. In addition, Poor immunity, lack of energy and poor working performance carry an extra burden to the existing problem. Based on these factors money can be re allocated to prevent starvation in developing countries.

In conclusion, these arguments point out two different scenarios. Nevertheless, there should be a balance in spending and the excess money has to be kept for the benefit of the entire mankind.
mhss   
Feb 27, 2013
Undergraduate / "If you could wish for one thing, what would it be?" ; Whitman College Essay [5]

Please note,

1 This sentence is not clear
So it's only naturally for me to want to eradicate these problems that are polluting Africa and limiting the ability for the continent to transcend.

2 However, if I had one wish I would wish for the social justice concerning children'S education.

3 Most parents don't EDUCATE their DAUGHTERS SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY WANT TO makes profits OUT their CHILDREN through EARLY marriages.

4 I hope to underline the causes and side effects of children that were raised in sure homes, and open an institution FOR education OF these children.

5 I will MAKE aware THE low-income families that tend to practice this ritual mostly.
mhss   
Feb 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / (ielts graph) The computer and internet use per 1000 inhabitants in the Arab word. [3]

Hi,
It is better to mention the type of the graph ..bar,pie,line...
It is expected to be sound nice rather than just figures.
Word USE can substitude with LOGGING TO THE INTERNET, ACCESS TO THE INTERNET, COMPUTER OWNERSHIP etc.

WEB,CYBER SPACE can be used as synonyms to internet.

Regards,
mhss.
mhss   
Feb 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies [3]

Please help me with the essay.

Q: More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like medicine, engineering and computing. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world.

Today, most countries in the world are experiencing skilled migration based on individual preferences. Therefore, it is the professionals' wish to land on a foreign soil rather than the portrayal made by the developed countries. But some people argue that, such migrations are promoted by the offers from well-off countries. Having looked at both sides I believe, this is as a natural phenomenon experienced by many countries.

There are a number of reasons behind why professionals leave the country. The most important reason being the financial issues has made a significant number of movements during last decade. In addition, it is to achieve a better quality of life for them as well as the off springs. Similarly, they are getting more opportunities to master on what they keen on and will be able to work in a more sophisticated environment for them to perform well. It is not the individual who is benefited but their native countries are also getting advantages by draining foreign currency and the new technology in the field of medicine, engineering and computer.

Nevertheless, there remain some arguments in favour of the opposing view. Some job advertisements offer the professionals an unbelievable salary including facilities and this will be a huge sum of money compared to what they earn at home. In the same way, they will be provided with top ranked jobs and a well recognized working experience could be obtained. However, it has to be highlighted that these offerings are not the only reason for the phenomenon of brain drain experienced by the third world countries.

In conclusion, on the whole, it is the individuals wish to stay in the home soil or migrate. Even though, incentives offered by the foreign countries may affect to a certain extent it is hard to be the sole reason. Therefore blame put on the rich countries remains a misbelief when other factors are come in to play.
mhss   
Feb 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / (ielts graph)The trends in consumption of fast foods in U.K [2]

Hi,
Tence need to be "past"
You can reduce the word count by,

The given graphs illustrate the change in the popularity of pizza, hamburger, and fish and chips in a period of twenty years from 1970 and the percentage of expenditure for fast food based on income of the British,in particular, high, average and low, in the year1990.

Overall, the high and average income people spent more on hamburger, whereas, the low income people prefer fish and chips.

According to the the bar chart, high income people spent 42% of their income on hamburger which is more than double the expense of pizza and nearly three times higher than that of fish and chips.

In those who earn averagely, the relationship of hamburger expense was three times of pizza and a marginal difference of 6% with fish and chip . On the contrary, people of low income category chose fish and chips as their favorable fast food 16%, which was little less than for hamburger standind at 18% while the pizza usage was half of the expense of hamburger.
mhss   
Feb 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- Should children engage in some kind of paid work? Yes, it has lots of pluses [3]

Q: In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work, some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience important in learning and taking responsibility

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, children in most countries involve in part time jobs from their early years of life. It is in the increasing trend as they are getting an invaluable opportunity in the long run. However, some people purely against this, stating that the education will be affected in a bad manner. Based on the two arguments, I believe that learning along with practical knowledge might help students in a number of ways to make their career a success.

When children engage in paid work, they not only earn money but also gather knowledge in different ways. First of all, they get the opportunity to gain the practical aspect of what is being taught in the school, for example, how to record accounts in ledgers and how to work as a cashier. At the same time they will learn how to bear the responsibilities. Next, there are centers where the board and logging, meals and uniforms are provided free of charge and it is a very good way to overcome financial deficiencies. Similarly, it is an opportunity to get away from studies and to be relaxed especially when working in public places; it allows them to meet different people and to have more friends.

When the counter argument is taken into account, there are certain disadvantages. Children get less time to do their studies, and if the working shifts extend beyond midnight, performance at daytime will be affected badly. In addition, they tend to behave as adults involve in the gambling, smoking and addicting to alcohol and related substances. Therefore, it is vital to select the working place in advance to minimize the harmful effects.

In conclusion, learning with the practical knowledge and the ability in baring responsibilities are crucial in future employments and hence engage in a paid job provides more advantages than drawbacks.
mhss   
Mar 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / To find a better job the T2 qualified people are moving to more wealthy countries - IELTS [5]

Please help me with the essay.

Q: More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like medicine, engineering and computing. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world.

Today, most countries in the world are experiencing skilled migration based on individual preferences. Therefore, it is the professionals' wish to land on a foreign soil rather than the portrayal made by the developed countries. But some people argue that, such migrations are promoted by the offers from well-off countries. Having looked at both sides I believe, this is as a natural phenomenon experienced by many countries.

There are a number of reasons behind why professionals leave the country. The most important reason being the financial issues has made a significant number of movements during the last decade. In addition, it is to achieve a better quality of life for them as well as the off springs. Similarly, they are getting more opportunities to master on what they keen on and will be able to work in a more sophisticated environment for them to perform well. It is not the individual who is benefited but their native countries are also getting advantages by draining foreign currency and the new technology in the field of medicine, engineering and computer.

Nevertheless, there remain some arguments in favour of the opposing view. Some job advertisements offer the professionals an unbelievable salary including facilities and this will be a huge sum of money compared to what they earn at home. In the same way, they will be provided with top ranked jobs and a well recognized working experience could be obtained. However, it has to be highlighted that these offerings are not the only reason for the phenomenon of brain drain experienced by the third world countries.

In conclusion, on the whole, it is the individuals wish to stay in the home soil or migrate. Even though, incentives offered by the foreign countries may affect to a certain extent it is hard to be the sole reason. Therefore blame put on the rich countries remains a misbelief when other factors are come in to play.
mhss   
Mar 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; SPACE VS MALNUTRITION- Which is more important? [5]

Please help me with the ielts PART 2 essay,
Question:
Some people said it's good to spent on space centers while others think this money should be spent on people who are starving or needy?

To what extent do you agree?

Answer:

It is true that spending on space related activities has increased, and the aim would be finding more places for the benefit of the entire man kind before being extinct from this planet due to lack of space and resources in the near future. On contrary, helping the poor in financial assistance to stop starvation is equally important as food is considered as one of the three basic requirements for human existence. Since both scenarios carry same amount of gravity, I believe that both aspects have to be addressed equally.

Winning the space is a major break through that has been achieved in the field of aeronautics contributing us in a number of ways. For instance, placing a satellite on the air has ease us with telecommunication and meteorological forecasts, space shuttles sent to the universe used for searching planets and an attention is paid to identify threats coming form the solar system. It will be achieved by highly sophisticated equipments and technology consuming a huge sum of money. Therefore, it is worthwhile spending on them due to the enormous benefit they have brought us.

When counter argument is taken in to account, it has been shown that more than 60% of the world's population is in starvation due to lack of funds. For example, African and Asian countries are affected more. Theses down trodden are suffering from malnutrition and related issues, and their lives are endangered. Under the concept of "live and let live", well off should pay more attention on these aspects and assist them financially, for the simply reason that, those who live in poor countries are also a part of the global community.

In conclusion, funding space centers and provision with financial assistance are equally important when they are taken In to account individually.
mhss   
Mar 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / (ielts graph) leisure time in a typical week spend by male and female [4]

hi,
Thanks for your comments on "space vs malnutrition".
Second sentence after the introduction of the graph, to be included as if you are looking at a glance, preferably without figures. Then, it will give your writing a nice print.

mhss.
mhss   
Mar 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS A 2 "Are violent games responsible for the increased violence in major cities" [7]

Children today play very violent games . This must be the reason for the increased violence and crimes in major cities of the world.
What are your opinions on this?

Write at least 250 words.

Now a days almost all cities in the world are experiencing more violence and crimes than ever before. Based on the research, it has been shown that there are different reasons behind this. However violent games played in childhood are just one causative factor out of many. Therefore,I rather disagree with the fact highlighted for the increased crime rates in the world.

Increasing trend in crimes and violence is due to a number of reasons and further these may change depending on the part of the world. For instance children in the western world are exposed to alcohol and substances than the Asian countries. Unemployment and poverty are considered to be major causative factors leading to high crime rates. In addition, personality disorders also relate to the increased violence among teenagers. Therefore, these are considered top in the list as opposed to violent games played in childhood.

However, when children are exposed to such games in early in the life, they tend to be sensitized to violence and try to imitate their heroes in the games. The ways in which the crimes being portrayed in such games will allow the children to get to know the different methods to commit crimes. In this way they motivate themselves to engage in crimes. Nevertheless, its contribution is less significant in comparison to other factors.

In conclusion, every city has to concentrate on other aspects in preventing crimes instead of attributing to the games. They have to address overpopulation, unemployment and poverty in greater detail in preventing high crime rates and violence.
mhss   
Mar 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS graph)Yearly percentage of home schooling in Some country during six years [2]

Hi,
1. The introduction can be altered as,

The given bar chart describes the percentage of home schooling in a country over a period of six years from 1999 to 2004, in particular, kindergarten, grade 1-2, grade 3-4, grade 5-6 and grade 7-8.

.. It rised from 1.5% to 2.1%. BEFORE BEING dripped in 2000,AFTER WHICH it regained its popularity and CONTINUED TO INCREASE.

...FIGURES FOR grade 5-6 showed an irregular trend...

2. Your conclusion is really nice.

mhss.
mhss   
Mar 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Germany and Italy spend between 150 to 158 thousand pound sterling in all categories [2]

Hi,

Your analysis is wonderful so as writing. Hear are some few points.

In Britain expanse on six categories EXHIBITE A significant difference. It is equal for personal stereos and tennis racquets 153 thousand pound sterling. The EXPENDITURE FOR four items is between 160 to 172 thousand sterling that include perfumes, CDs, toys and photogenic films.

MHSS.
mhss   
Mar 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 Average GDP in globalizers & non-globalizers (GRAPH) [4]

Please help me with the ielts academic task 1

The graph shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

Use 150 words.

Black- wealthy countries
Pink- globalizers
Brown- non-globalizers

Answer:
The bar graph provides information about how globalization has affected the annual GDP growth of the 3 categories of countries over a period of 30 years from 1990. It is clearly shown that globalization has made a remarkable improvement economy in countries with a global approach.

In a more detailed analysis, in 1990 the height GDP growth was recorded from wealthy countries standing at 4.7% compared to globalisers and non-globalisers who were well below, exhibiting 1.4% and 2.4% respectively.

During the next decade, impact of globalization was apparent showing doubling of figures in globalisers as opposed to non-globalisers where the rise was just 1%. However, annual GDP growth of wealthy countries elicited a drastic decline and continued to drop in next two decades remaining at 2% by 1990.

However, in 1980, the progress in globalised countries was insignificant as 1% but it boomed in 1990 reaching the 5% margin to a level which no country has ever reached during for the past 30 years. The drop in annual GDP growth of non-globalisers was erratic from 1970 to1980 after which it recovered to 1.5% by 1990.

In conclusion, global approach has made a significant impact on the GDP growth of thirds world countries and the final out come was not determined by the original wealth.
mhss   
Mar 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Effects of Technology on traditional role of classroom teacher [7]

HI,
As far as I'm convinced,one should agree with one aspect in the introduction and then write both aspects in 2 or 3 paragraphs and in conclusion again support side you chosen.

I will leave this open to make comments to all interested.

mhss.
mhss   
Mar 4, 2013
Undergraduate / 'A Chance to Change' essay- This is worth a trip to Africa! [2]

Hi,
A nice bit of writing. Well done.
However make a note on these,

"carbon dioxide is and will always be a harmful gas"
It is not always harmful, infact excess carbon dioxide is the one that causes problems.

"we have been facing a decrease in commonly-used materials such as paper, plastic, and aluminum, due to the huge growth in production of products that contain those materials"

The idea in this sentence is controvertial.

It is reasonable to counter this argument by saying that the production of such ITEMS would be far more expensive, as INDUSTRIES HAVE to buy the recycled material, but in fact, what is produced expensively can be sold expensively; simply increasing the price of the products would cancel out this problem, so, recycling would be a favorable option.
mhss   
Mar 5, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS T- 2 Mixing children from different social back grounds & various abilities [4]

Please help me with this IELTS academic task 2

IELTS T- 2 Mixing children from different social back grounds & various abilities

Please help me with this IELTS academic task 2

Q: It is ipportant to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school.To what extent do you agree or disagree.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevent examples from your own knowledge and experience

(250words)

In schools allowing admissions from various communities, children are given more opportunities the to mix with those who are coming from different social settings having numerous abilities. Most people highlight that it is in a way advantageous to learn from each other but on the other way, some people believe that it may do harm in learning bad habits and unaccepted behavior. Having looked at both sides, I agree with the fact that students should be mixed with each other in order to obtain knowledge and skills that may not be taught in the classroom.

Mixing of children of different backgrounds enable them to gain a lot in different aspects.
Most important aspects would be the knowledge of different regions of the country, their culture and religion, traditional dresses, unique cuisines and the famous geographical landmarks. Similarly, they get the opportunity to learn native languages that would be difficult by other means. In addition, there are children with various capabilities either born with or learn from their ancestors with whom mix with others, it is possible to learn such skills by way of simply observing. Further important aspect is that, once they become adults, they have a wide range of friends of different cultures all over the country.

As long as the negative effects of mixing are concerned, there remain some crucial arguments.
Some school children are practicing bad habits, for instance, smoking, gambling robbing and related activities that are not accepted from children and once they merge with others invariably they will spoil them as well. Moreover, innocent children are exposed to certain skills that are considered harmful, for example, using weapons, road rage and Internet hacking. Therefore, mixing has to be considered after having background information on each and every individual entering the school.

In conclusion, allowing such incorporation in schools has given the opportunity to make a significant improvement in knowledge outside the curriculum and hence it should be implemented whenever possible while minimizing the harmful effects.
mhss   
Mar 5, 2013
Writing Feedback / Raising petrol price must be the last solution for controlling traffic and pollution [2]

Hi,
Your range of grammar and vocabulary are really impressive.
Make a note on this
You will lose marks if your word count is less than 250.

Some printing mistakes,
More importantly, this is noT only one way to solve these problems.
electronic bicycle is also aN effective solution.

This sentence is not clear.
"Equally remarkable, only by renovating the infrastructure of the cities can growing traffic issue be resolved"

This can be restructured by,
For instance,the traffic jam in Ha Noi capital WAS reduced dramatically AFTER CONSTRUCTION OF more FLY OVERS in recent years.

It is more advisable to propose other ways which ARE more suitable than the former way .

mhss.
mhss   
Mar 18, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 JAPANESE INVOLVED IN OVERSEAS TRAVEL [3]

PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS IELTS ESSAY.
Answer

The bar chart illustrates the number of Japanese (in millions) involved in overseas travel over a period of 10 years starting from 1985 while the line graph reveals the percentage of Japanese travelers landing in Australia over the same period of review.

On closer examination of figures, there were 5 million Japanese travelers in 1985 and exhibited a steady rise over the next 5 years reaching a 2-fold rise by the end of 1990. Unfortunately, the trend was reversed having a slight drop by 0.5 million in the next year after which it recovered with a number of 12 million travelers for the consecutive 2 years. Subsequently, visitors involved in foreign travel grew up sharply from 1994 and reached a peak at 15 million, which was a 3- fold rise than that of the figures recorded 10 years back.

Shifting to the second graph, it is clearly shown that there was a decline in Japanese travelers to Australia in 1990 proceeded by a gradual increase from 2% to 5%. In fact, it was able to maintain the same rising pattern for the next 4 years climbing to 6 % margin by 1994. However, in 1995 there was a slight reduction in Australian patronage by the Japanese visitors.

In conclusion, other than the two drops in middle and latter part over this span of 10 years, the trend was upwards in both Japanese tourists going abroad and the Australian contribution for the benefit of Japanese visiting the Australian soil.
mhss   
Mar 18, 2013
Letters / " You are an angle" ; Letter to a person who helped me [4]

This can be improved as,

I am the real son of THE old man TO WHOM you helped when he was dying. I really thank you and you're THE angle of my life. I am so emotional THAT I can't express my feelingS right now . I WAS SO UNFORTUNATE THAT I COULD NOT hold his hand IN HIS LAST MOMENT. You have done me A LOT BY BEING WITH MY FATHER holding HIS hand for THE whole night. I can't forgive myself FOR NOT REACHING AT THE time. But I am happy FOR BEING THE SON OF my father AND FOR THE FACT THAT HE WAS NOT ALONE IN THE LAST MOMENT . You are A perfect example of A PERSON with A beautiful heart.
mhss   
Mar 18, 2013
Research Papers / Psychological disorder; Research paper outline and content develop [3]

Note the alterations,
1) Diagnostic Criteria

Difficulty in diagnosis

Different treatments ARE described ONE in EACH paragraph.

I hope the language should be more formal for a research abstract. Log to "pub med" and get an idea.
mhss   
Mar 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / Start work Early Morning or Work till late night? IELTS [7]

IELTS essay to be written on a format.

Introduction
body para 1-supporting ideas
para 2-opposing ideas
conclusion
other wise you will lose marks.

Go to IELTS blog, IELTS help now com.
mhss   
Mar 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 Distant learning as opposed to conventional way of learning [4]

Please help me with this IELTS essay.
Thanks.

Question:
Many universities and collages these days offer distance-learning programs instead of face-to-face courses. Do you think the advantages of this new approach outweigh the disadvantages?

It can be seen that most educational institutions are focusing more on distance learning inorder to combat a heap of concerns and barriers for those who apply well away from these centers. Nevertheless, the convenient style of learning maintaining its own merits points out certain drawbacks in technology-based education. Having looked at both sides I believe that the advantages brought by this E- learning cannot be over ridden for its minor drawbacks.

When the positive aspect of distance learning is taken in to account, it has done enormous benefits not only to students, but also to the universities and in a broader perspective, for the environment as well. From the institution's point of view, lage number of enrollments are possible as space and facilities will no longer be a limiting factor .Similarly, it has maximized the opportunity to cater to the need of a variety of individuals living in the every corner of the world; for example, a baby sitter or a teenage mother is able follow these type of courses with out which it will be a dream for them. In addition, a student engages in fulltime work would be benefited as they can refer the lessons at any time with ease. Further aspect would be, time spent on transport can be eliminated saving both time and money. This has indirectly contributed to keep the environment green by reducing fossil fuel consumption.

However, there remain few arguments in favour of the hardship of distant learning. Firstly, one should fulfill the basic requirements with a computer and the access to the Internet, which may be an extra burden for a beginner. Meanwhile, there are health related issues resulted from long periods of studying in front of the screen and getting isolates from the rest of the students. This is detrimental as it badly affects the social interactions and motivation through peer group competition.

In conclusion, development in the system of education should go hand in hand with the other fast growing fields and this new approach will be a better way of learning for those who have obstacles for further studies and hence its merits can never be outweigh the dark side of it.
mhss   
Mar 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- What's more enjoyable? - Attending a live performance or Watching them on TV? [4]

Question
Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Answer
It is possible to entertain our selves more in live participation of an event as the joy can be shared with the loved ones in a sentimental moment. Nevertheless, some people believe that it is worthwhile watching the same occasion on television saving resources in terms of money and time. After considering both aspects, I am convinced that what is important is the selection of the event to which one should participate or which can be watched on the screen.

There are events where participation is considered as a great pleasure for both organizers and invitees and avoidance of such events is no longer possible, as our physical presence is essential for the continuation of the event. For example, invitation for an opening ceremony or as the chief guest of a concert. In the same way, it is possible to meet people whom we have not seen for ages. Moreover, blessing of the wedding couple and thanking of the participant in the play or the drama can be done lively. In addition, certain important moments can clearly be watched, and live comments can be experienced especially in a cricket match. Therefore, being on the occasion is detrimental in certain circumstances.

On the contrary, watching events on the television obtaining the same amount enjoyment is possible in certain occasions in which our absence is not highlighted; for instance a stage drama can comfortably be enjoyed with out being smashed in a crowded theatre. Further it would help us to avoid traveling on a busy high way in bad a weather condition. More importantly, we can decide whether to proceed or to stop watching simply pressing a button on the remote controller but this may not be possible if we take part in a live event.

In conclusion, it is hard to decide which way is more enjoyable since it is solely depend on the situation that we are referring to. Therefore, what is important is to select the correct event to attend or watch leisurely being at home in order to get the maximum enjoyment.

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