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Posts by ldlsky03
Joined: Jul 4, 2013
Last Post: Nov 20, 2013
Threads: 8
Posts: 16  
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From: Vietnam

Displayed posts: 24
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Nov 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS Academic essay: Is nuclear energy is better source of power? [5]

For example, we all know about the consequences of Chernobyl power plant accident.

Your example is good but I think you should expand more about the consequences of this accident.
Because example is important in essay and you already have a good example so you should focus more on this.
Oct 31, 2013
Writing Feedback / Music brings joy and emotion to our soul, traditional music should be preserved [2]

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

It is true that people listen to different types of music nowadays, ranging from rock music to country music. Music is a vital part of people's daily life for several reasons, and I believe that traditional music plays a greater role than modern music in our lives.

Music is important to human life for several reasons. As many people, listening to music becomes their daily routine as this makes their soul peaceful and they can get away from all the complex things in reality. Also, it can be said that music is like a medicine for people's busy lifetime as the rhythm and melody of music can help them to retrieve their mind as well as their body. For instance, listening to music is a curable method which is advised by many psychological doctors for anxiety disorder patients.

In my opinion, traditional music brings more benefits to our life more than modern music can do. As listening to traditional music can raise our parotic and through those lyrics we can know more about our country's past culture. For example, by listening to military songs, we can feel deeply the sense of patriotism through each word of lyric. On the other hand, modern music tends to entertain the listeners so that their lyrics and rhythm seem to follow the current trend and do not have any meaning.

To conclude, music has an important role in our pastime as this brings joy as well as emotion to our soul. Also, the traditional music need to be preserved and promoted widely than modern music as these songs are meaningful and raise our patriotism.

Thanks for reading ^^
Sep 5, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Students should be organised into groups or study alone [4]

Some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study, while others argue that students should be made to study alone.
Tell the benefits of each study method. Which one do you think is more effective?

It is necessary that teachers not only aim to teach students the school curriculum but also help them to develop teamwork skills as well as the efficient way of individual study. However, this raises a certain concern as to whether students should be instructed to study in groups or alone. Though, both methods have their own benefits which need to consider carefully.

First of all, studying in groups is crucial to enhance cooperated skills for students which is required in the future careers. When students discuss with their friends under the instruction of teacher, their personal communication will be enhanced considerably. As when listening to different views, they will know how to cooperate efficiently and respect to other people' views. Furthermore, teamwork is the essential skill that each candidate needs to practice prior to applying in any company. Therefore, not only acquisition theory, students also need to practice in a cooperative environment in their early ages.

On the other hand, students also need to enhance individual study skills which will reinforce their independent mind. They will not be interrupted while studying and can concentrate completely on their ideas. Also, if they study by themselves, teacher can realize more easily students' deficiencies and find the most suitable instruction for individuals' capacities. Hence, students need to spend time studying by their own to acknowledge their mistakes and current level.

To conclude, although both methods have their own advantages, I personally believe, students should study in groups rather than studying by their own thanks to the necessary teamwork skills for their future occupation. Simultaneously, it is advisable that students should use others' ideas flexibility to broad their perspective rather than depending too excessively and do not have their own position.

Thanks for reading ^^
Sep 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Studying the past can help us better understand present or not [4]

Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past can help us better understand the present. Discuss the two views and give your own opinion.

Every countries have different histories which flashback the period of their reconstruction. Some people believe that we cannot learn anything from history. Others, however, are of the opinion that by studying the past, we can understand the current world more wisely.

People who do not like studying history say that studying the past is a waste of time. In the currently fast pace, many developed technologies and numerous scientific products are invented which make the past no longer useful. Also, because of different periods, the successful of the previous time are hard to apply in the present, therefore, people frequently concern about the future rather than looking back the history.

However, the previous periods play an important role to help us acquire knowledge through useful experiences and enhance patriotic pride in each person. For example, history is one of the important subjects in Vietnamese education, which provide students about all famous battles and important invents of Vietnam as well as in some Asian and Western countries. Realizing how hard our ancestors are established through studying history, people will be more respectful of the peaceful world in which they are living.

To conclude, in my opinion, people need to understand and reserve history. This will contributed to build up a patriotic characteristic in each person which not only brings benefits for individuals but also to society at large.

Thanks for reading
Jul 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Areas where Computer are more important & where Teachers are more important [6]

Computers are increasingly used in education. In which areas do you think are computers more important and in which areas are teachers more important?

These days, the amount of people using computer is increasingly overwhelming, which is justified by the benefits of this technology device brings to our lives. It is evident that this device plays a crucial role in term of education in some aspects, though, the place of teachers still remain their importance in others areas. In this essays, I will analyze both the effective role of teachers as well as computers on the field of education.

This is undeniable fact that in education, computer is being used as a tool that provide people many useful functions. For example, in earlier time, people entailed long - hour staying in the library for researching and learning, though, nowadays, it is simply dealt by the click of a button which can access to a variety of valuable material. Also, contacting with friends through computers by using Internet is not only fast but also a cheap way to trading and talking about studying material. Moreover, school's council can easily contact with their students by posting news or important notices in their official website.

On the other hand, the important presence of teacher in some areas of education is impossible to replace by any machine including computers. Having been taught by a human being, students have a tendency to be more concentrate on the material and respectful. Also, teachers, who spend their time to interact and instruct to students, are easily to realize each students' deficiencies and their capacities to design the suitable instructions as well as encourage and provide them many useful advice.

To conclude, both using computers and being taught by teachers have their own essential contributions in term of education, which by no means can be replaced. Hence, only when controlled balance between two methods, can the field of education develop perfectly.

Thanks for reading.
Jul 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS ; Should we not pay tax to the authorities? [10]

public service

public services

the gap

you can use 'the disparity between..' to be more academic

Briefly speaking

I think you shouldn't use those words in academic essays
Jul 23, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The problems created by unlimited use of cars [4]

The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars?

Nowadays, many people have their own cars and frequently use it, which is clarified by its convenience and comfortable. Although, by driving cars, people has given rise to many serious consequences. In this essays, I intend to discuss both the serious impacts of using cars and possible solution to resolve this.

It is undeniable fact that the unlimited use of cars is responsible for the range of problems that influence our lives negatively. Having driven in congestion of traffic waste many valuable time; it also lead to stressful and reduce our efficient quality in working or studying. Additionally, through the worlds, numerous cars using regularly have impacted negatively on our environment as the large amount of carbon dioxin emissions, which is responsible for detrimental to health and global warming. Furthermore, it is evident that car accidents over the past 50 years has seen a considerable increase in casualties.

However, to address this issues of relevance, it is suggested that people should be restricted in driving cars. In my view, though, it is not a good option since this solution will effects noticeably in individual's schedule. Thus, the more relevant solution would be opening public campaigns to encourage people in reducing the use of cars by demonstrate a range of benefits in economic price and healthy life by using public transports and bicycle.

To conclude, these problems are indeed incapable to address in the short term. Though, it is by no means insurmountable, and I believe that were people together attempt to reduce using vehicles, it would be significantly positive impacts on our life in latter time.
Jul 23, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS:Good members of society - Who's Responsible? [4]

researching skills

research skills

what I absolutely want to emphasize is that children stand many chances of not only approaching exact theories about surroundings
It would make your essays more academic.
Jul 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: RURAL DEPOPULATION: Discuss the effects and suggest some ways [2]

These days, it seems that an increasing number of people are leaving rural areas to live in the
Discuss some of the effects of rural depopulation (migration from the country to the city ) and
suggest some ways on which this trend could be reversed

Many people in urban areas have a tendency to migrant to the city. Although, this trend brings some benefits, the negative effects is undeniable. In this essay, I intend to discuss some consequences it causes and some solutions can be reversed this trend.

First of all, it is an indisputable fact that migration away from the country negatively affect in many sphere of life in the city. This could be exemplified by the facts that the amount of traffic jams probably continue to increase significantly in the future because of the overcrowded population in city. Additionally, many people moving from the countryside are hard to find jobs in the city and have to live in poor accommodations. Therefore, it easily lead to a range of social problems including substance abuse, gambling and criminal. From this it become evident that the negative effects of this trend is noticeable and it is necessary to consider carefully to develop the habitat both in rural and urban areas.

In order to prevent people from moving to cities, some efficient solutions need to bring out. For example, the government should balance the number of corporations and universities by moving some of these to the countryside that would help to reduce the population in the urban areas. Besides, the authority need to invest more fund in facilities and entertainments in rural areas to create more careers opportunities and improve the quality of life. Also, reversing this trend requires in long term and also need to have approves of many people, therefore, opening public campaigns warning people about the overcrowding in cities is necessary.

To conclude, given the seriousness effects and practical solutions of migrating to the city, I believe that this trend could be reversed in the future.

Thanks for reading :)
Jul 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / The Effects of Using Cell phone in school [12]

Using cell phone in school is the main cause for student's failure

=>> in school is probably the main cause for student's failure. You should use probably or possibly in this statement.
Jul 13, 2013

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the
interest of the public heath, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products.
Do you agree or disagree?

These days, the amount of ailments and death relate to smoking cigarettes or using other tobacco products have considered a serious problems. Thus, this raise certain concern as to whether the tobacco products are necessary to be prohibited to produce. Although, there are valid reasons to justify the contrary, it is my personal belief that those detrimental products should be banned for the sake of society. Analyzing both the consequents of tobacco products to individuals' health as well as social problems are as follow.

First of all, tobacco products has a negative impact on the field of health. This could be exemplified by a range of ailments namely lung cancer, high blood pressure and heart disease. Therefore, if the government prohibit this products, in long - term results, many people probably prevent from a variety of serious detriment in latter time. Thus, this make it clear that the authority are necessary to enforce the law about prohibiting tobacco for the healthy society in the future.

However, perhaps the strongest argument in favor of banning cigarettes and other tobacco products is that of behavioral society. This could be proven by the fact that people who addicted in smoking are likely to become drug abusers or even criminal. Hence, having forbid this detrimental products, the society are possible to prevent numerous societal habits and many social problems. From this it becomes quite evident that banning tobacco products is required for the development of cultural community.

By the way of conclusion, many ailments and death can be possible to decrease simply by banning tobacco. Thus, it is clear why the idea of forbidding cigarettes and other tobacco products can be supported for the positive impact on our community. After analyzing this subject, it is predicted that prohibiting tobacco will certainly be stronger than allowing those harmful products.

Thanks for reading it ^^.
Jul 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY TASK 2: Some jobs are better done by men and others by women. [3]

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason,
some jobs are better done by men and others by women.
Do you agree or disagree?

These day, the border between male and female in society are becoming blurred. Yet, this raise certain statement as to whether some careers are suitable for each different genders. Although there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary, I personally believe that men and women can do effectively many type of jobs regardless their genders. Analyzing both the characteristic of individuals as well as their different capacities are as follow.

First of all, it is a disputable fact that the professional abilities are determined by the skills, fluency working and experiences rather than the difference of genders. This could be exemplified by the fact that in earlier time, a range of jobs namely cooker, ballet dancer and nurse are considered as womanish jobs. However, this thought has been changed since a gradual increase in male have been seen doing these jobs over the past few decades. Thus, this make it clear why the effective working are depended on the skillful possession instead of their genders.

Further and more importantly, though, the characteristic of male and female can be simply different in some aspects but not in the term of profession. One particular salient of this is the world renowned Marissa Mayer - the president and CEO of Yahoo who is ranked number 14 on the list of Americans' powerful businesswomen. Hence, not only men can be successful in the field of economy, numerous women also achieved the affluent in business which is required many necessary abilities such as a clever mind, communicative skill and creative thinking. From this, it becomes quite evident that individuals have their own potential for greatness in variety careers that do not relate in whether they are male or female.

By the way of conclusion, people in fact have their personalities and capacities and they probably can adopt in different types of careers. Thus, it is clearly why the idea of some careers can be done effectively depending on the genders cannot be supported. In the years to come, I suppose that jobs would not be distinct or comparative because of the genders.