Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK I: Earnings in London City [6]

last night I already post this essay but I can find in my treads
appreciate for some corrections, thankyou

The schematic below was portrayed revenue comparison between male and female in London City for 1985 and 1995 in several sectors including commodity trading, banking, insurance, and currency dealing.

The chart uncovered London city total revenue in 1985 was around 3,355 million pounds. This number was more doubled in 1995 by 6,710 million pounds. However, it interesting to seek more what sectors of financial contributes more for this increasing. The data emphasized Banking sector donates the least, while the currency dealing becomes the top most with more than 50 per cent of total revenue.

Thus, more than 10 years the gender was contributed for the economic movement. The average of annual salary for male and female executive in 1985 was different around a half; the similarity was for insurance sector by 20,000 pounds. Moreover, the condition was almost similar in term 1995. The differences between gender salaries caught in several economical fields, excepting in currency dealing with 8,000 pounds.

In other hand, the movement of income of each gender between 1985 and 1995 is merely no more than tripled. For examples, female executive in banking gains 8,000 pound in 1985, then dramatically increase to 22,000 pounds in 1995. In addition male executive who works in currency dealing, earns 15,000 pounds and rose become 40,000 in the next 10 years.

In summary, total earning in London City depended on the gender salary increasing in each financial sector.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task II : Briton vehicle developing [3]

The Briton ownership vehicles in 21st century are unstoppable, since the invention in 1888 nowadays rises become 29 million vehicles in British road. However, the new mode of transportation and also regulation should be pondered to anticipate this rapid growth in the future.

The growth of transportation cannot separate with the increasing of economics that makes people afford personal mode of transport. However it related also with city density and pollution. The executives, with full scheduled job, have highly movement that makes them suddenly moving onto another place, whether this is one of the reasons personal cars using. In other hand, environmental effect cannot divide directly with this phenomenon. Increasing of vehicles means enormous carbon dioxide in the air. Air pollution has degenerative effect of global warming. It can be reduce with highly awareness of dweller to become friendlier with the environment embody; prefer to use public transportation.

What is more, to dealt with this problematic should be present effective concept soonly. Government should be re-arrange manufacturing law rules to limit production of highly poisoned vehicles. It is seen as an effective ways to motivate a friendly environmental invention for automotive fabrication. In other hand, pursuit inhabitant to use public transportation is should be still promote more. The unique feature can interesting passenger to join in, while this can effectively reduce the number of congestion, such as British Electric Vehicles (BEV). BEV released in 2005 and become public vehicles which contain with electric locomotive that can reduce the harm effect of air pollution. The other way to reduce personal cars is augment the tax which reduces intention to ride for inhabitants in the crowded city place.

Overall, the strict regulation to control the car using should be take an serious not only for a while but also for sustainable period.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task II : Illiteracy rates by region and gender; 'it was tearful' [12]

The chart below shows estimated world literacy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000.
Write a report for a university lecture describing the information below. You have to write at least 150 words.

answer

The bar chart below portrayed the estimation of world literacy by gender and region in year 2000. However, there are four groups of region which take part in this survey beside developed country including; Caribbean, Oceania, sub-Saharan Africa, Arab states, and South Asia.

Based on the gender skill of literacy, it was tearful that the greater part of unskilled to write and read placed by woman, with almost more doubled proportion than men in each of measurement. However, in the developed country and Caribbean the proportion between gender illiteracy was neighboring by 15points. It is concluded that the other huge number already well illiterate.

Most of population in the developed country is familiar with reading and writing ability. It is proven that the number of literacy skill in develop country was fascinated with approximately zero in illiteracy. However, Caribbean and Oceania inhabitant who cannot write and read become middle groups by fewer than 20. In other hand, apprehensive portion of illiterate come from Sub-Saharan African, Arab States, and South Asia. Inhabitants, in those three regions, were poor of literacy skill with no more than 30 points.

Overall, we can conclude that Non-globalizers country have big assignment to improves the literacy skill among their society, primarily for women who become the first teacher in the family.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task II : Accepting Change Vs Resisting Change [5]

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can cause this? What solution you suggest? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

answer

It is an astonishment that people keep in circling comfort zone, whether world changing force most of inhabitants to take a challenge. Unconsciously most of them are inward the bottom of Marlow hierarchy needs.

The schematic of Maslow's hierarchy needs, depicted with shape of pyramid, divides needs of human become five layer including; physiological, safety, belonging, esteem, and self actualization, those are chronological. What is more, comfortable feel in a stage yield unenthusiastic circumstancing live for them. Thus, people who have been worried about "stomach" tend to pursue salary, while the type, position, career path, and job satisfaction become unnecessary. Nevertheless, workers who have changing embryo rise their behavior in order to challenge him/herself. This type of workers usually finds job which dealt with their passion because of self actualization purpose. For example, Walt Disney has been decided becoming a cartoonist while banker is looked a luxurious job for society.

The possible solution should be reflected personally but probably developing from parenting style become proper. Parents have to invested curiosity and also passionate desire for their children. For example, Parent initiates children to take a part in many competitions which suitable with their aptitude probably, modeling, sports, arts, or science. Moreover, it can be stimulate child's sense of changing.

In the nutshell, I believe that change is the essence of humankind, while it should be began from the childhood.

Writing Feedback / The worlds friendliest city [3]

Team of social psychology from university of California has spend six years research about reaction of inhabitants around the world in the different situation. In the result people in the low economic rate are kinder than another wealthy citizen. Rio de Janeiro, known as it criminalization, comes highest, while Lilongwe, capital of Malawi, at the third.

This inquiry rise from simple question, what makes one city friendlier than another?. The psychologist from California State University claim that environment contribute more than culture or nationality.

Psychological investigation wants to see more how inhabitants treat foreigner in more than 23 countries in the world. The team sleuths their investigation in the sequence of assessment, whether pretend action with dropped pen or asked help to crossing the street.

Thus, the study inferred that resident in tranquility way of life are friendlier such as Rio resident. During the investigation, team got help by 93 per cent cases, while in Lilongwe was only little lower. In contrast, Amsterdam and New York deemed to least at this investigation, with 43 percent and 53 percent aid each. The psychologist found that in these cities, people have little time and tend to hurry in their daily, this condition caused ignorance stranger often occur.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Diagram of Earthquake-resistant buildings [5]

The diagrams on the right show two types of building design that help reduce the effects of earthquakes.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

answer :
The figures are apartment block and house which build it the volcanic area. In each of building have sameness and also differences aspect include that interested to see more.

Rectangular, is the grand shape of the figures. However, the other similarity is from roof which is made by concrete, and also the steel pillars buried deep into the ground. The apartment block contain of rubber that absorb shocks in the ground level to move perform.

Heigh, is the main main differences of the buildings. In contrast, apartment is taller than house, so metal support to strengthen interlinear wall purpose is used. In the other hand, house construct with hollow brick to lessen damage when it falls.

Next, reutilize stone is placed to build house floor. It can be the best combinations to scaffold strengthen of pillar steel. Moreover, high-rise building contains of sprinkler system. It is such a modern feature service and benefitted for prevent residence from fire.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1; Rechargable vs Disposal Battery [5]

The chart below give information about sale of two kind of battery. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparison where relevant.

answer :
Nowadays, battery is the main utensil as power supply for many electronic sources. Avicenne energy released the prediction about worldwide sale between disposable and rechargeable battery in the 13 years forward start at 2009. This data consist of general battery and does not include batteries for cars, laptops, tablets, and smartphones.

More clearly, in 2009 rechargable battery was sold by 5 billion dollar and will continuing rise to 25 billion dollar in 2025. In every five year the increment prediction of this figures average by 5 billion dollars. However, according to the table we can see that the chart movement of rechargeable battery predict very sharp year by year.

Move onto disposable battery using. From 2009 measurement, the number of sale slightly decreased year by year. Start at 12 billion dollars, and it is continuing fall to fewer than 10 billion dollars in 2025. Interested to see that each of line will be meet in 2015 with about 10 billion dollars sale each.

Clearly, we can see that in the upcoming rechargeable battery using is preferable than disposable one.

Writing Feedback / Report of Numeracy Skill in 24 Countries [10]

Would you please give correction about my writing.

The given pie chart below shows the adult numeracy competencies in 24 different countries.

Overall, the result of numeracy skill was different in each country. According to the data, we can classify them into 3 cluster; lower by 15 point, middle by 15-20, and the over by 2 point. Then, every condition in each group is interesting to see more.

Firstly, the lower groups contain with 8 countries, and dominated by countries from European continent. The motion of numeracy skills in this group is around 15 point to the low of trough point of whole measure.

Secondly, the middle cluster is more fascinating, Japan whom came from Asian continent achieved good numeracy skill for their folk paralleize with other 8 developed countries in Europe. However this is a nice to see while Japan could be compete in the numeracy among developed country in the world.

Lastly, the result survey earn that the highest group with 6 countries have more variety with continents involved. It is United States from America, Ireland-Germany-UK-Spain from Europe, and Korea representative Asia. The topmost expert population in numeracy is attained by US by 2,7 point. Whereas Korea, achieve 2,2 poin and also sign as the only Asian country which stand in the highest cluster.

In the nutshell, whereas based on quantity countries out of Europe are less, their inhabitants strongly enough in numeracy skill, indeed.

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Writing Feedback / Weather in Dubai is extremely contrasted - IELTS Task [7]

I'm on my way to understand grammar, would you please help to correct my practice writing.

The table and graph below give information on the weather in Dubai. The graph shows annual rainfall and the table shows annual temperatures.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

answer:
The table and the graph shows the average temperature and annual rainfall in Dubai.

The table tells us Dubai as a warm place. The coldest is about 14 degrees, and the hottest is around 48. These two of condition occur between January and February, in the other hand the peak of temperatures are from July to August. In the remaining months motions of temperatures is restricted among 14 and 48 degrees.

Graph, as the second reference, provide how much rainfall there is over. According to the graph from May to November are the low of trough point which indicates almost no rain, indeed. In a first quarter month, annual rainfalls begin from 12 centimeters and then gradually increased until reach a peak in February at 32 centimeters. What is more, the motion of graph continue fall to under 5 centimeters rain fall in May. In May rainfall is rise again, and this increase to 15 centimeters in the end of the year.

In the nutshell, the weather in Dubai is extremely contrasted, rainy in the winter and dry over the summer.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 :World population figures and urban population in different world region. ) [4]

Please comment about my grammar entirely

The graphs below provide information on global population figures and figures for urban populations in different world regions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Line chart below show the world nations growth between 1800 and 2100, whether the urban growth in different world region was figured by another bar chart consecutively.

Generally, the first graph illustrate whole of world population whom rose steadily from 1800 until middle period of report. While in the last half growth of citizen rose sharply before felt decreased onward.

More clearly, the number of inhabitants inception from 1,8 million and rose gradually approach2 millions in 1930. In 1940 this figure continued sharply and reaches a peak by 8 million people in 2040. The worldwide population onward abruptly fall a gradual from 8 to 6 millions in the last 30 years.

The second chart provides information about the differences of urban population in wealth and poor region in the range from 2015 to 2040. We can see according to the data, urban population drawing in wealth region had been stabled for all of years about 1,2 millions. In any case, city residents in developing region increased steadily average 5 millions in each 5 years measurement. This data, however, can be material for predict the urban growth in both of countries.

Overall, developing country has huge contribution to world rate population whom their inhabitants stepped up year by year.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Summarising two charts (Demand and electricity usage during typical day) [6]

I am open for the grammatical correction

answer :
These two figures show regarding demand for electricity in UK during typical day. The depictory of line chart reported unit of electricity using during winter and summer, while the pie chart shows percentage of purposing using in electricity.

According to the line charts, Britons desire to use electricity in winter rather than summer. The electricity consumption fluctuated among 30-40 thousand units in first half of the winter, then reach a peak nearly 50 thousand units before felt dramatically onward. Nevertheless, electricity using in summer remained stable among 10-20 thousand. Both in the winter and summer, the low of trough of electricity usage occur before noon, but the peak routine come about evening.

The second chart represented what the electricity is used for. Around 15 per cent Britons use electricity for two groups; kitchen or entertainment, such as vacuum cleaner, food mixer, electronic tools, lighting, TV, and Radio. However, the more tripled per cent electricity using was for heating, either room or water, it was around 52,5 percent. The other residual percentage was used for oven, kettles, and washing machine.

In conclusion, both of data are coherence. The most favor electricity using is for equipments which function to make warm..

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