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Posts by andika06
Name: andika azhari
Joined: Jan 5, 2016
Last Post: Jan 21, 2016
Threads: 11
Posts: 10  
Likes: 3
From: indonesia
School: polytechnic university of indonesia

Displayed posts: 21
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andika06   
Jan 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 - THE PROPORTION OF SEVERAL ISSUE FACED BY PEOPLE GOING ABROAD [4]

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of several issues faced by people going abroad for living there according to their age categories. Overall, it can be seen clearly that the age group who have the largest problems is middle age's immigrants. In this case, sorting out healthcare is the most common problem, while finding school for their children is the lowest popular issue for all age groups.

To begin, choosing health care is the greatest problem for new comers aged 35-54 and over 55 in which this problem is experienced by more than 35% for both age's groups. However, for population aged 18-34, the most dominant difficulty is arranging money. Next, this problem is also the second most problem encountered by 35-54 years old people and elderly group with proportion were respectively 35% and nearly three in ten. In addition, sorting out healthcare witnessed the percentage approximately 32% for youngest group.

Turning to looking for schools to their children, this is most common problem among people aged 35-54 settling overseas, whilst for others, it was the lowest percentages.




andika06   
Jan 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Majority of students now ignore their health since they are busy with various activities. [NEW]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement


Majority of students in global era have bad quality of life since they busy with various activities. For preventing this problem, both of teachers and parents have to control the children activities. I greatly agree regarding this statement since they are the close person of the children.

Nowadays, the teachers spent time longer with the students than their parents since they are busy with their activities at schools. That is why teachers know more about the weakness and strength of Students. In advanced century, most of schools have applied international curriculum standard and force the student for staying almost eight hours in the school. For instance, student sit in their table for long time and busy with assignment and do not have time for do the physical exercise.In addition, students also don't have time for consuming healthy dishes due to the limited time. So, in my observation, the teachers should care about their students.

On the other hand, both of father and mother have same proportion to monitor their children when they are at home. For the illustration, mothers control their children time for take a rest and serve a high nutrition food. The parents also invited the children for do some physical exercise in the leisure time, especially in the weekends, such as jogging and playing badminton together, so parents have essential position for teaching their sons and daughters a good way of life.

In conclusion, the number of young people in these days have a poor way to arrange their lifestyle. For solve this problem both of teacher in the school and parents have responsibilities for take care the children as much as they can. In this case, eating good food and doing some sports are several ways to keep fit and healthy.
andika06   
Jan 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Important skills required to maintain effective communication with external and internal companies [2]

... with external and internal companiesWORKERS between 1997 and 2006, a 10-year ...
... communication skills which are considered BY LABORSthe highest is dealing with people, ...

... experienced increased from 60 percent IN 1997 to 65 percent IN 2006. Having the similarity with factor before, BOTH OF knowing of particular products ...
The survey showed THERE WAS A RISE approximately 3-6% increment compared to years 1997FOR BOTH ASPECTS OVER THE PERIOD .

... analysis from the table, it revealsREVEALED that listening carefully to the ...
... was training people which rose aroundBY 30 percent in 2006.
andika06   
Jan 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Importance of both Schools and Parents in Children Lifestyle [2]

At the present time, it assumed that there are a great number ...

NOTE : HI NUNI!, YOU SHOULD GIVE SOME NOTIONS FROM SUPPORTER ABOUT SCHOOLS AND PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SOLVING THIS PROBLEM. YOU ALREADY EXPLAINED WHY, BUT YOU DID NOT MENTION HOW SCHOOL AND PARENT TACKLE THIS PROBLEM.

... the smokers do not harm the others with their smoke FUME or HARMFUL GASES PRODUCED BY THEM which will result in more ...
andika06   
Jan 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The busy activities almost every day mean no much time left for a health improvement - IELTS 2 [NEW]

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Other, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.

Discus both these views and give your own opinion.


Nowadays, the majority of inhabitants have the busy activities almost every day due to the effect of globalization. Consequently, they do not have enough time to consume the healthy foods and do the physical exercises. These reasons make several people think that it is not hard for residents become healthy, but I personally believe that applying the good lifestyle is not difficult if people want to effort it.

To begin, it is believed that gaining a healthy life is quite difficult as they, in this day and age, have an abundance of works in their careers. As a result, they prefer to eat fast food since it is far simpler for preparing rather than cooking fresh food. The presence of fast food restaurants such as McDonalds, KFC and Burger King obviously have led people in metropolitan cities to eat it instead of fresh food that initially has a range of natural protein. In addition, since most time of modern society in front of computer screen for the whole day in order to complete their job duties, people do not have spare time to do physical exercise that eventually accounts for diseases such as obesity or diabetes. In brief, unhealthy diet and lack of body movement, without doubt, would lead to insalubrious lifestyle.

Apart of those obstacles in how to gain healthy lifestyle, apparently, some people argue that reaching healthy lifestyle it's only about willingness matters as they lazy to do physical training or doing sports. It is clear evidence that those people who work in offices are actually have opportunity to do jogging or eat fresh food during weekend in their homes. However, they try to justify their opinion and blame work schedule that eventually they highly likely have no priority to become a healthy person.

In conclusion, although instant food and lack of physical exercise are the major challenges in order to obtain healthy life style, it is interesting to note that people actually have a great deal of spare time to do some sport and prepare fresh food. Therefore, I believe that doing healthy activities or consuming healthy food is easy to afford if they have a willingness and tendency to do that.
andika06   
Jan 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Diagram Process of Wind Turbine and Its Optimum Locations [2]

hi nuni :)
The two diagramDIAGRAMS illustrate the way in which electricity can be generated by using wind turbine
According to the diagramS
The blades of the wheel are made by using fiberglass or wood which areIS connected to THE generator and wind sensor to detect the speed and the direction of wind.

the sensor will identifiesIDENTIFY the acceleration of the wind and where it comes from

enjoy your writing :)
andika06   
Jan 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - THE PERCENTAGE OF COMMUNICATION ABILITIES [2]

A breakdown of the percentage of communication abilities assumed by workers was extremely imperative according to two different investigations in 1997 and 2006 is displayed in the table. Overall, external interaction skills are more crucial for labors while, the internal communication shows a reverse.

To begin with external interaction abilities, dealing with people recorded the highest percentage over the period which it reached 60% in 1997 and increased to 65% in 2006. Following this, around 36% of workers chose advertising or caring for costumers or client as the important skills in the early period, but after 9 years this went up slightly by 3%. The equal rise is also presented by knowledge of particular products or services. It climbed from 35% to 41% in the end of period. Next, the lowest percentage is showed by selling a product and services reaching just under a quarter during the time frame.

Turning to internal communication, the first rank of the essential competences is listening carefully to colleagues. In 1997, this proportion reached nearly four in ten, then this inclined significantly to virtually a half in 2006. The second rank is represented instructing or training people. Initially, this proportion is recorded merely one in four in initial period and rose to three in ten in the second survey. Afterwards, the other skills saw the percentages in which those were below 30% in each survey.




andika06   
Jan 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The proportion of graduates recruited for teaching different languages in Ontario, Canada [2]

The line chart illustrates the percentage of teacher's recruitment based on the year of graduation from 2001 to 2007 in Ontario. Overall, it can be seen that the recruitment of French-language teacher increased dramatically after a fall in early period, whereas the English-language teacher's recruitment decreased significantly over the period.

To begin, the percentages for both different languages teacher's recruitments were almost similar in the beginning period in which their percentages were 70 percent and three in four respectively in 2001. Then, the next two years presented a fluctuation for French-language teacher admission, while In the same period, another language tutor's admission experienced a considerable decrease. It went down to two-fifths. Interestingly, a fairly equal trend has been witnessed by French and English-language teacher admissions since 2003 until 2005.

From 2005 to 2007, the proportion of graduates recruited for teaching French language inclined slowly to approximately three fourth. This proportion was also the highest level during the timeframe. By contrast, the proportion of English teacher's recruitment reached a low of nearly a third in 2007.




andika06   
Jan 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The number of students interested in lesson [5]

... statistic of ladies and gentlemen in SOME different lesson who are success SUCCEEDED in proficiency assessment (...) is measured in percent for every lesson . At first glance, the percentage of girls who passed in every examination was higher than boys IN ALMOST ALL EXAMINATIONS.
andika06   
Jan 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Percentage of student passed the exam [2]

... that both of genderS passed the final exam in AT high school. while females showed the dominance at most of ALMOST ALL subjects, geography was dominated dramatically SIGNIFICANTLY by males.

... women 56.3 percent and 42.3 percent for men which was followed by . FOLLOWING THIS, thechemistrythat women presented PASSING CHEMISTRY WERE TWOFOLD MORE THAN as much passed the final test than men. THEY WERE approximately less than ...

... showed very small number OF differences. Likewise, physics and history explained WITNESSED the similar pattern (...) no more than 3 percent over a year THE PERIOD.
andika06   
Jan 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / The rate of students who passed major examination in high school [5]

... major examination in high school that divided by gender ...
... females who passed the exam was MORE dominated DOMINANT THAN MALES IN ALL SUBJECTS in this rate . IN THIS CASE, WOMEN SHOWED THE GREATEST SUCCESS AT COMPUTER SCIENCE, WHILE THEY SAW A REVERSE AT CHEMISTRY.
andika06   
Jan 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Doctors brings a lot of merits for human being - more than some investors [2]

Inventors are not as important to society as a doctors.
To what extent do you agree with this statements?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


The majority of inhabitants assumed that the person finding the new innovation was not too essential to environment if compared by human who was help the citizen from diseases.

In my perception, both of two jobs are greatly important and brings benefits for humanity life, however, I observe that the direct impact of the doctor can be perceived by community.

In these days, Most of humanity if they suffer a sickness so they need people to cure them, and doctor is the person who have ability to treat the disease. There are many positive impacts from doctor. Taking cases as an example, the cancer sufferers they are need treatment in the hospital and ask the best therapeutics from doctor. In addition, if there is a catastrophe like tsunami, the existence of a doctor's is needed by the victims for treating the injury caused by disasters, especially for the serious wound. I extremely agree with this statements if the doctor more worthwhile for humanity life.

On the other hand, a number of citizens argue regarding the finders are imperative since they had a own creation and can assist the human for gaining the better life. For instance, Luis Walter Alfarez, he found the new landing system for aircraft, a radar system aircraft, a radar system for locating planes and the hydrogen bubble chamber, used to detect subatomic particles.

And other contriver made a solar energy for vehicles fuel to reduce the effect of global warming. It was quite remarkable, nevertheless the result not directly perceived by the citizens.

In the final analysis, some of people argue that the discoverers are not more crucial than doctors, however, both of two occupations provide many advantages for life. And in this causes I immensely believe the doctors brings a lot of merits for human being.
andika06   
Jan 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: The Importance of Inventors and Doctors in The Country [3]

Although THE doctors have (...) healthiness, THE inventors also have ...
It is evident that THE doctors have a great role ...
... that doctors' main jobareIS to provide essential medical treatment for all citizens.
An illustration for this, a surgeon needNEEDS to perform accurate and efficient ...
Also, THE doctors also supply several vaccine VACCINES to resist the disease.
In addition, AN inventor also help HELPS the doctors to invent any ...
As a result, THE inventors are also very useful ...
... the society also require THE inventors to accomplish ...
andika06   
Jan 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 - BAR CHARTS INFORMATION ON THE GLOBAL SALE HYBRID VEHICLES BEETWEN 2006 AND 2009. [3]

The chart below gives information on the global sale hybrid vehicles* between 2006 and 2009.

The bar charts present the trade of new model of private transportation from 2006 to 2009. Overall, the total sales in Japan, US and other countries were upward trend. The highest number of new car of high develop technology trade from united state county and followed by Japanese nations as a runner up.

The transportation trading in US stood at 250.000 in 2006. Then, in 2007 this reached a high at 350.000. Next, that decreased slowly by 30.000 to 320.000 in 2008. Afterwards, the commerce of transportation in US fell again to 300.000 in 2009.

It can be seen that, The number of trade vehicles in Japan was at 50.000 in 2006. Moreover, that increased gradually until 2008, in 2009, it rose significantly by 230.000 to 330.000 in 2009. That was the highest of sale vehicles compared with US and other nations in 2009. The number of sales in other countries increased steadily for over four years.

Overall, total trading was upward trend, from 360.000 in 2006 to 740.000 in 2009. Japan was the one of country which went up sharply more than 200.000 and it became the top sales private transport in 2009.




andika06   
Jan 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 - sleep pattern of people in five different occupation according to a Canadian study [2]

The chart below shows the sleep pattern of people in five different occupation according to a Canadian study.

The chart presents the people's schedules in several job based on Canadian research. Overall, it can be seen clearly that the majority of works have sleeping schedule at pm time. In this case, student and business executive sleep in consecutive hours, whereas truck drive, full-time mother and doctor have broken sleeping.

To begin, student uses 8 hours for sleeping in which they sleep from 6 am to 12 pm. This is the longest sleep pattern among all occupations. Next, business executive takes break tie between 4 am and 12 pm. This employment has less hours than the former.

Turning to truck driver, full-time mother and doctor, full-time mother is recorded as the first rank of career having irregular sleeping pattern, this spends 8 hours on this activity, the second rank is truck driver. It has six hours for sleeping. Finally, the least sleeping hour is experienced by doctor. That profession has only five hours in a day for resting.




andika06   
Jan 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Method utilizing the swing basket and human energy is less effective than using rollers and animals [3]

The given pictures depict two forms to do in OF collecting water for irrigation purpose. It can be seen that the method BY utilizing the swing basket and human energy is less effective than that of the ANOTHER way using both rollers and animals as source of power.

Turning to the first method, at the beginning process FIRSTLY, a big hole near the (...) flowing WATER around the irrigation flume. Once having been gathered in enough CERTAIN volume, the water is taken by a basket made of bamboo or leather to be spilled around the provided field so that it can stream directly to irrigation canal.

In contrast to, the second approach, IS STARTED WITH a well with THAT HAS DEPTH about 50-meter METRES depth is DIGGED in the soil HILL whose one of its sides has higher level to another one . Irrigation channel then is constructed in the side EDGE of well having a lower surface.

... complemented with a rope tied CONNECTED to the animal AND A BUCKET. When the animal moves away from the well WALKS DOWN THE SLOPE OF HILL , the bucket which has been connected to the tip of the rope will be lifted and then IT WILL spilled in the top ...
andika06   
Jan 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / It is choice of every person to enjoy their vacation; and traveling to new places is popular - why? [2]

Some people like to travel to somewhere new and different when they go on holiday, while others prefer familiar places.
Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantage to visiting new places


These days, the majority of inhabitants interest to spend their vacation time to take a trip to many destinations which never they are visited before, while some travelers tend to go to the same location. In my personal opinion, I believe that there are several merits if the holiday maker visits the new place. On the other hand, there is also a dire impact about this activity.

There are some reasons why come to the new destinations are quite interesting. Firstly, the visitors are more enthusiastic since they can make a new experience and they can visit many places. For example, the number of people is more likely curious to visit two or three places in a day. Another reason is holiday maker can explore the new culture and traditional from local area and particularly they can try new kinds of traditional food and snacks. I extremely agree about this statement because visiting new tourism place can obtain the knowledge regarding other culture and society and visitors also can have an opportunity to know the traditional local people closely.

From this evidence, there are several detrimental effects regarding visit the area for two times. First of all, the tourists are not enjoying their vacation since they already visited the place before. Therefore, they are just waste their time and money. In addition, the number of travelers does not make this journey like a precious moment and tend to passive act. Yet, it is choice of every person to enjoy their vacation. Some of travel maker who prefer to visit places that they ever visit since there might be have a memories with people they love.

To conclude, most of citizens tend to visit venue that they never see for enjoying their leisure time together with friends or the rest of family. However, the majority of travellers tend to spend their free time in the same location with several reasons. Both of them are their choice for each visitor. I believe that I greatly approve if the new destination brings many advantages.
andika06   
Jan 6, 2016
Undergraduate / Moving from one country to another is a life changing experience [11]

... to experience many new aspects of life,; however, moving from one country ...
Many people immigrate to haveOBTAIN a better livingLIFE , yet some moveMIGRATIONIN ORDER to explore new opportunities.
... moved to a new country to exploreFOR EXPLORINGmore about themselves MORE and to explore more opportunities as well. Every immigrant has different experiences and when they move to a new country. For instance,SUCH AS the culture shock, finding means to earn livingJOB and language barrier.
andika06   
Jan 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - GOOD METHOD OF FINDING TALENTED PEOPLE [NEW]

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today.
Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


These days, majority of inhabitants are very keen on watching TV program regarding the human's skill. Most citizens argue that this program to find someone who have a good talent. I strongly believe that this is only for entertaining people and get the attention from the out lookers.

The audiences assumed that those competition aims to attract potential talents with a good skill, since they hope that these competitions will able to determine the best nominee. For instance, in United State, there is a popular singing contest namely "American Idol" where there are many contestants which present their ability. It is good opportunities for a number of people from all backgrounds of work. The most important, they have tremendous talent in singing, all the candidates are no charged anything. This fact proves that this competition is good for searching the appropriate talent.

Nevertheless, I strongly believe that the television programs are created not only to find the great talent but also to raise the rating. So the event will trigger the number of viewers to watch that programs. The crucial problem is assessment system determined by the people who send the support from short massage. This way can made opportunity to do some fraud because the system is not measured based on finalist's ability and just count the number of supporter. An illustration for this, the runner up of Indonesia idol namely Novita who has a beautiful voice as per panel failed to be a winner by the reason of she did not get enough vote.

The aforementioned reveals that in spite most of audiences believe that talent event on the television publish the new person with extraordinary skill, I don't agree with that opinion since some TV stations only use it for commercial purposes.
andika06   
Jan 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 Negative Effects of tourism activities [3]

Some people say that tourism has many negative effect on the countries that people travel. How true Is this statement ? what can tourist do to reduce the harmful effect of tourism on local culture and environment ?

The majority of citizens assumed that there are some unsavory impacts of tourism for destination countries. I personally believe toward this statement since a number of cultures became disappeared and replaceable by modern styles carried by the tourists. On the other hand, there are several solutions to minimize its detrimental effects.

These days, most of travelers visiting a site bring the dire effects for local people and traditions. A significant impact occurs on traditional value altered by western lifestyle. For example, the foreigners introduce elements that are not suitable with local cultures. Another serious consequence is the local community adopts poor behaviors such as consuming of the drugs and alcohol, increasing of prostitution's level on local area. In addition, there is also the new trend in which the cultures utilized for commercial commodities. For instance, local people constantly think about profit. I greatly agree tourism lead the negative impact for local community and environment.

In term of solutions, the government should be largely responsible. Firstly, the tourism ministry must create strict regulations for holiday makers spending holidays in the country like to impose a fine for travelers making violations. Secondly, Authorities have to maintain original cultures on each tourist area. They must encourage local residents to preserve traditional values without influenced of foreign customs.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that a number of inhabitants argue regarding to the drawbacks of tourism for their regions. However, I extremely believe that the original cultures have been eroded by foreign life styles and values. Afterwards, there are some possible solutions that can be done by the government to tackle the problem so the benefits of tourism are still enjoyed.
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