Writing Feedback / There is now greater equality for women compared to those in the past fifty years. [2]

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is now greater equality for women compared to those in the past 50 years. They alter their position in several societies to become more important than ever. Despite the negative issues for females in developing countries, I stand to agree that today women have equal opportunity as men to participate in crucial areas, such as politics, educations, and business.

Regarding to the first notion, women are still seen as a weak person in classical stereotype in traditional people, especially in developing countries. The traditional way of thinking that women should spent their time in their home still exist in many remote area, like in several countries in middle east or south east Asia. For example, some culture in Indonesia still obligate the females to accompany their husband and do some house working such as washing clothes, cooking, cleaning, and the most common, growing children. This condition tend to restrict their freedom in major aspect. As a result, women in this case still have not any rights to gain a good education for participate in various career.

Turn to other view, nowadays, people see the many great females in major area. It is hard to find a gap between men and women since they have equal rights and same proportion to contribute in society. As a fact, there are many women who in love in politics, especially in modern country. According to the result of European elections in 2014, women reach almost 40% distribution in parliament, while one country have more than 60% ladies in the government. In addition, Women also have more freedom to show their creativity in sciences, which experienced on many publications in various fields. Moreover, there are plenty public company which is led by women. People this day knows Ranjini Poddar of Artech Information System, Shazi Visram of Happy Family Company, or even Marissa Mayer as the CEO of Yahoo.

To sum up, it is true that there are still sustain the traditional concepts which exist in developing countries. However, women in this age, achieved gender equality in many ways like in parliament, research centers, or even in companies.

Writing Feedback / The Pie Chart Compares Common Advantages and Dissadvantages of Firmon Island, According to a survey [2]

The pie charts compares the most common benefits and drawbacks of Fairmont Island, according to the survey of tourists. Four different aspect for both of views was used to collects the data which measured in percentage. It is noticeable that, the most common merit showed in Fairmont Island's people and scenery with slight different proportion, while the high cost of living was the most demerit for visitors.

First turn to the benefits, the people attitude in Fairmont Island experienced in biggest proportion in two-fifths. Nevertheless, the view of nature in there followed in 37%. In comparison, regarding to this survey, guests thought that accommodation and culture only bring a little advantage in 12% and 11% respectively.

According to the drawbacks figure, living cost in Fairmont Island still too high for tourists, which showed in the highest proportion, at 45%. In addition, whereas entertainment took the second place in the percentage by 30%, the weather condition followed in a fifth of proportion. However, only 5% who thought that food quality is a common bad factor in Fairmont Island.

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Writing Feedback / The Advantages and Disadvantages of Taught Foreign Language to Children at Primary School [2]

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In globalization era, some education specialists assume that children should begin to learn language from other different countries in primary school rather than secondary school. While it has drawback such an increasing their tension during school, I would argue that it has more benefits.

In primary school, children will start to grasp newest concepts. They not only learning core knowledge like mathematics or natural sciences, but also discover various soft skills. Therefore, taught them foreign language could make them burden. As a result, they just accept the courses generally in every major, without preserving detailed one. In this stage, study foreign language will waste their time and delay their origin accomplishment.

On the other hands, there is no doubt that study foreign language in the primary school has a lot advantages. Firstly, early learners tend to less anxious, more spontaneous, and more responsive to either sounds or rhythms. Since study new foreign languages is easily with voices, it will be more effective to develop in early. Also, many researchers have not been able to conclude the presence of a critical age, which mean young children learn languages differently from the older. Finally, the primary curriculum provides more opportunities which can be exploited for language learning, than the secondary. Therefore, teacher could to determine the most precious method easily in this stage.

To sum up, although some people believe that children will grow better when they study foreign language in secondary school, I would argue that taught offshore speeches to them in primary is an impressive step which have more positive effects for their future. However, an attractive arrangement and good curriculum must be prepared to improve it.

Writing Feedback / Competition will alter the survive skills, which are absolutely important in human life. IELTS [3]

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.

A growing number of people believe that competition among children should be inspired with confidence, whereas the other think that developing their team work is more important. This essay will discuss both points of view.

Competition will alter the survive skills, which are absolutely important in human life. Therefore this activity should be encourage in early age. When children contests each other in a good way, they will find various methods to reach their target. For example, when children knows their friends able to finish their task agile, they will being motivates and could finds another way to get done their assignments. As a result, they will discover the pure creativity and the art of making decision.

On the other hand, there is no doubt that collaboration is the most society needed to face the future problems. Therefore, to teach children to co-operate with their friends, is an essential lesson. With team work activity, children will grasp to build relationship in different personality that can be showed when they help their mate adaptation. In addition, the synergy among them will create a good atmosphere to understands many diverse obstacles in their class, and it is valuable for their future. Children will grow up and get divergent jobs. With collaborating experienced that they got in early age, they will overtake this situation calmly.

To sum up, although some people believe that children will grow better when they survive in any contest, I would argue that taught children in early age about collaboration with their study group far more crucial due to what they will endure in the future. However, a good curriculum must be prepared to improve it.

Writing Feedback / TASK 1 - Percentage of Tourists to England who Visited Brighton attractions [3]

The percentage of England Visitors who visited four different attractions in Brighton between 1980 and 2010 is illustrated by the line graph. It is noticeable that, despite some fluctuations, Pavilion and Festival were the most visited place by tourists while art gallery and Pier stayed in the bottom in the all frame time.

Turning first to Pavilion and Festival, they began the rate stood at around 22% and 30% respectively. The number of tourists who visited Pavilion grew slightly to nearly 28% in 1985 whereas festival saw a first decline to similar level. Although, there was a gradual fall in Festival visitors between 1985 and 1995 to 25%, when people who visited Pavilion peaked at almost two fold.

On the other hands, the percentage of Art Gallery and Festival visitors, witnessed a dramatic rise and a slight dip respectively in 1985. The Art Gallery saw a significant fall to 20% in 1990, then continued to incline slightly in the following year, which led to a gradual fall in the end of the period. However, the number on Festival saw a slight drop in 1995, and relative stable to 2010.

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Writing Feedback / The trend of Outokompu stock price over a five-year period is illustrated in the line chart. [2]

The trend of Outokompu stock price over a five-year period is illustrated in the line chart. The value is measured in Euro from 2006 to 2010. It is noticeable that, despite some fluctuations, the rate reached the peak in the end 2006 and almost virtually the highest score in the middle 2008 before jumped dramatically for the next following years.

Initially, the price stood at around 13 Euros in early January 2006. The share price then rise considerably in early 2007 to peaked at around 31 Euros. However, January to December in 2007 experienced a markedly fall to around 22 Euros.

There was a significant improve during the first semester 2008, then followed by an extreme drop to roughly 6 Euros. During the end of period, from 2009 to 2010, there was a fluctuating amount which is finished by a similar point like the beginning period.

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Writing Feedback / TASK 1 - The amount of annual expenditure on books in Germany, France, Italy and Australia [3]

The amount of annual expenditure on books in Germany, France, Italy and Australia is illustrates in the line chart. It is measured in a million US Dollars over a 10-years period from 1995 to 2015. It is noticeable that the rate of money spent on books increased in those countries. It also can be seen that Germany had more books over all frame times.

Germany and France spent the most money on books. They began at a large different amount of between 80 and around 55 in 1995. While the France expenditures increased steady over the following ten years, there was a slight decline in Germany during 1999 and 2003. However, the amount then rose to peak at roughly 96 in 2005.

The fluctuated trend also shown in Italy which start at similar level with France, It finished as the lowest in 2015. Compared with Italy, Austria had an increased figures. Began with lowest amount at 30, it saw a dramatic growth in 2001, then overtook Italy in 2003. Australia and Italy reached their peak at 61 and 52 Million US Dollars respectively.

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Writing Feedback / The rate of books read at Burnaby Public Library in a period of four year between 2011 and 2014 [3]

The line graph illustrates the rate of books read at Burnaby Public Library in a period of four year between 2011 and 2014, based on both sexes. It is noticeable that the number of book read by men increased over the period while women had a sharp fall in 2013 after reaching a peak.

To begin, women read the books in Burnaby Public Library stood at around 4,200. Subsequently there was a steady rise by roughly 2000 books read in 2013, after hit at 8000 in 2012. The number then declined to about 7,800 books in the end of period.

In contrast, the number of books read by men just around 3,000 in beginning. Afterwards, it experienced a steady grew in one year to 4,000 then increased dramatically by 6,000 books in 2013. In this point, female readers at Burnaby Public Library overtook by men. Whereas the number of books read by women witnessed a slight fall, the rate of books read by men growth considerably to 14,000.

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