Holt Educational Consultant
Jan 28, 2017
Scholarship / Academic Interests Essay (Scholarship) - to pursue a degree in political science [5]
Hi Rowlie, actually, the introduction that you wrote has a case of TMI or too much information. The best way to approach the opening statement would be, in my opinion, to present the way that you were enticed into the YAG instead. The reason that I believe you should focus on the YAG from the very beginning is because your membership in the organization is the very thing that fed your interest in your current major. As such, it perfectly illustrates how this academic interest has helped to shape your future. Make sure that you include a reference to the social sciences and government classes that you took in school as well in order to adhere to the academic interest part of the essay. As of this moment, you are presenting an extra curricular activity. You have to make it relevant to the response by offering a connection to your academic studies as well. I apologize if I spoke too much, I just want to make sure that your succeeding paragraphs won't miss out on any important information.
Hi Rowlie, actually, the introduction that you wrote has a case of TMI or too much information. The best way to approach the opening statement would be, in my opinion, to present the way that you were enticed into the YAG instead. The reason that I believe you should focus on the YAG from the very beginning is because your membership in the organization is the very thing that fed your interest in your current major. As such, it perfectly illustrates how this academic interest has helped to shape your future. Make sure that you include a reference to the social sciences and government classes that you took in school as well in order to adhere to the academic interest part of the essay. As of this moment, you are presenting an extra curricular activity. You have to make it relevant to the response by offering a connection to your academic studies as well. I apologize if I spoke too much, I just want to make sure that your succeeding paragraphs won't miss out on any important information.