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Mistakes make success--GRE Issue

5 - Where are you from? I am from China....

Writing FeedbackHellgreeting - Aug 25, 2009yx200986 - Sep 4, 2009
GRE issue---Government support or restrict scientific research

4 - Thanks, EF_Sean! I have learned a lot from your comment. I will be cautious to the problems appeared in...

Writing Feedbackyx200986 - Sep 1, 2009yx200986 - Sep 4, 2009
esssay -global warming&natural disasters

8 - In the long term, burning off fuels in trying to grow up the industry for the better economy are...

Writing FeedbackHarryK - Aug 25, 2009jgv115 - Sep 4, 2009
Choose your own topic essays?

9 - Yeah, that's pretty much the standard way of writing intros for academic essays. Occasionally you'll get teachers who want...

Essayslouiedasilva - Aug 27, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
Purpose for earning more money should not become the main goal for us - toefl essay

6 - The grammar remains so rough that it is very difficult to follow what you are writing. "Some people...

Writing Feedbacksirius51 - Aug 30, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
Common Application Essay - Mark Twain

7 - Your revision is much stronger. In general, I advise people under 30 to avoid saying "nowadays," as if they...

UndergraduateGabrielle - Aug 23, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 3, 2009
"My passion for hockey" ; extracurricular activity

5 - It's good that it's a narrative. But, I'd get rid of the "woulds" and also use an action...

Undergraduatefat_b - Sep 2, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 3, 2009
"my laugh" - UCF application essay - first draft

14 - I enjoyed reading your essay. My comment would be to omit "It was the power of God that healed...

Undergraduateheddergirl723 - Aug 21, 2009SFLady77 - Sep 3, 2009
Experience relating to religious diversity as a response to an admission prompt?

6 - I see......

Undergraduatehorn15 - Sep 3, 2009Llamapoop123 - Sep 3, 2009
Graduated from Marketing. SOP for masters in Communication

8 - No, sorry, but see the Terms of Service for your options....

Graduatedream - Aug 27, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 3, 2009
Her. A short and random idea.

11 - I was thinking about using this piece as a springboard for my Stanford essay also. Something along the lines...

Writing FeedbackLlamapoop123 - Aug 29, 2009Llamapoop123 - Sep 3, 2009
"It takes more than good academics" - Florida State University Essay

11 - "The true perfection of man lies not in what man has, but in what man is", said Oscar Wilde....

UndergraduateSxmBeauty - Aug 17, 2009SxmBeauty - Sep 3, 2009
I hope to see hospitality industry in my motherland China thriving prosperously and being perfect

3 - Yea your writing style fades off from the very start actually. I attribute that mainly to your grammar. You...

Undergraduatecissywdi - Sep 3, 2009Liebe - Sep 3, 2009
Exhibit Me --> Being a unique individual, I uphold specific beliefs

5 - ^Hearts are self-explainatory. ^I do not like this summarizing statement. ^Your paragraph funtions without...

UndergraduateMegumi - Sep 3, 2009Llamapoop123 - Sep 3, 2009
UIUC Essay 1: Psychology Interest

6 - What do you mean by "the world of psychology." Which writers or theories did you happen upon? Which interested...

UndergraduateExadra - Aug 31, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 3, 2009
Need someone to read &critique this SOP..applying for doctoral program in slp

5 - Yes, it seems fine, especially if you have already had contact with professors in the program and they are...

Graduateanagha - Aug 31, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 3, 2009
'Corruption in schools curriculum' - Issue of importance - my history teacher

35 - Liebe, I love you (not that in that way)....

Undergraduatenancyroll1 - Aug 7, 2009Notoman - Sep 3, 2009
describe the world you come from (UC personal statement)

3 - For me, this essay doesn't work so well. Why? Too much telling and not enough showing, I think. Instead...

Undergraduateayrustayy - Sep 3, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 3, 2009
Toefl essay -- planning and organization

5 - to start with, people now are faced with a more sophisticate society that before, emerging along with the development...

Writing Feedbackclaire echo - Aug 19, 2009sirius51 - Sep 3, 2009
The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one.

2 - "The technology's development brings about many changes in our society, today. One of these changes is the way people...

Writing Feedbackstranger1130 - Sep 2, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
My Four Year Old Role Model (Common App Essay)

4 - Not bad. The story is good, as is the lesson you learned from it. As others have mentioned, the...

UndergraduateBNP67 - Sep 2, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
TOEFL: Movies or television now play an important role in our life

14 - Thanks very much,I'll correct my essay...

Writing Feedbackdhanh90 - Aug 15, 2009sung_tung - Sep 2, 2009
Cbest Essay - Proble in Community

5 - Try "Our community, Muirland Community, experienced a rash of break-ins last year" instead. You have various minor...

Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Jul 20, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
"Crossroads" - Common App Personal Essay

10 - The first part of your essay now connects more smoothly with the rest of it. In taking out some...

Undergraduateusername621 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
time spent for studying and playing

6 - I think children need to concentrate on their study for a little time, and then they can play. concentrate...

Writing Feedbacksung_tung - Sep 1, 2009stranger1130 - Sep 2, 2009
"The #1 Bus Boy"-my work experience essay

7 - That's a fine structure for a TOEFL, CBEST, IELTS, SAT, or basic composition essay. But this lively little...

Undergraduateeaglez1177 - Sep 1, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 2, 2009
"my own personal definition of success for the future" - UC ESSAY #1

7 - oh woops. sorry, aww i feel bad :/...

Undergraduatechristiek - Aug 29, 2009christiek - Sep 2, 2009
the International Baccalaureate program - UF Application Essay

4 - Thanks for the feedback. I'm not using this essay whatsoever. I agree it's not personal enough, therefore, I wrote...

Undergraduatebrojas30 - Aug 19, 2009brojas30 - Sep 2, 2009
University of Illinois Essays (academic interest, work experience, service)

4 - In Essay 1, you do not discuss what your academic interests are and why you are interested in that...

Undergraduatendog92 - Sep 1, 2009Liebe - Sep 2, 2009
"help me weigh these testicles": common, significant experience/topic of choice

16 - Your question threw me for a loop. Even though I have been reading a lot of application essays here,...

Undergraduatemmmargarita - Aug 28, 2009Notoman - Sep 2, 2009
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