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Writing about either philosophy or political parties, NEED HELP

2 - This is just my own personal idea, but it fits with what you are trying to do. The...

Undergraduatechocoholic_jo - Oct 15, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 15, 2009
Common App Short Answer - Playing piano at retirement homes

2 - First sentence can be "The opening chord was flawless, but" That cuts one word. Third sentence, you can...

UndergraduateWoolachee - Oct 15, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 15, 2009
"multi racial home" - family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?

3 - Just one thing that I noticed, you probably want to provide smoother transitions for your paragraphs, it's easier for...

Undergraduateleeannjabez - Oct 12, 2009Aristae - Oct 15, 2009
'life is unpredictable' - meaningful event in life

3 - not quite sure, but maybe put quotations marks or italicize where you have written your thoughts. Other people may...

Undergraduateriley23 - Oct 12, 2009Aristae - Oct 15, 2009
Two Months in Peru

6 - Sounds like you got an interesting prompt. I'm looking forward to reading it when your finished with the essay....

UndergraduateLorena21 - Oct 4, 2009Aristae - Oct 15, 2009
Is it a good thing to have children employed with paid jobs?

4 - the consciousness of earning money seriously by their own effort to cover their education tuitions and personal expenses...

Writing Feedbackmaybien_bk - Oct 13, 2009thinhtvdhtm - Oct 15, 2009
TOEFL College education is one of the significant sources of increased knowledge

3 - Thank you. i really appreciate. i will redo it as soon as possible. besides, what else do you think...

Writing Feedbackfuhuanluck - Oct 15, 2009fuhuanluck - Oct 15, 2009
PROGRAM OF STUDY ESSAY 4 Muskie

4 - Hello folks. I want to ask the same question, how and what to write to get really nice program...

EssaysVitaliyD - Oct 11, 2009zee4 - Oct 15, 2009
my CV.. adoptive immunotherapy and the study of cytotoxic T lymphocytes (CTLs)

2 - I don't know enough about this kind of science to advise you content-wise. The only thing I can suggest...

Letterskek - Oct 15, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 15, 2009
Toefl Essay Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources

5 - Hi, people will be able to lead a normal and stable in the world. After "a", there should be...

Writing FeedbackKeng - Oct 13, 2009tuanlnc - Oct 15, 2009
'my sister is bulimic' - University of Michigan essay topic

2 - Hey. First, I think writing about how you resolve the difficult relationship with your bulimia sister is a good...

Undergraduateworldbound10 - Oct 15, 2009brucexu - Oct 15, 2009
UIUC Essay Help?-Psychology

3 - its very generic to say you wanna help beter lives. i think you should be specific abt what you...

Undergraduateheyimbecca - Oct 14, 2009senioryear - Oct 15, 2009
"i was covered in blood" - florida state university

3 - This sounds like it could be so interesting -- expand. What did you do to show you were stronger...

Undergraduatepatchell5107 - Oct 12, 2009ls8709 - Oct 14, 2009
Johns Hopkins Supplement Essay - Undecided - "My Calling"

8 - Good essay. Along with what others said about not using the word "consequences", I think you should stress that...

Undergraduaterafeeki92 - Oct 12, 2009ls8709 - Oct 14, 2009
I just wanted to share my latest extension of 100 word prose

4 - Thanks, Kevin! I have a lot of need for advise! This time, however, I was just sharing my babblings....

PoetryJeannie - Oct 14, 2009Jeannie - Oct 14, 2009
Argument for Global Warming, need some ideas

33 - Wikipedia, the great overmind and emergent world-god, says that "Expository writing is a type of writing, the purpose of...

Research Papersjenhur - Aug 30, 2008EF_Sean - Oct 14, 2009
How films have influenced my life :)- fsu essay

2 - You can cut your first paragraph completely. It says nothing of interest. Your second paragraph can go too....

Undergraduateacat6332 - Oct 14, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 14, 2009
UPenn Essay Prompt - Common App - "Writing has always been a therapy"

4 - Maybe I'm not understanding the last few sentences correctly. I really like the "the chance to be part... for...

Undergraduatesupermodella - Oct 14, 2009A Sizzle - Oct 14, 2009
Engineering - Statement of Purpose for Undergraduate Studies.

4 - Overall, it is a little too informational and not emotive enough... emotive, with colorful words. Also, this sentence...

UndergraduateVasiq - Oct 11, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
I am Vampire Slayer (not Dracula or the coven of the Twilight series type)

4 - No problem. Yeah the length is hard, especially when the piece you have written is already very concise....

Undergraduatedramacratic - Oct 13, 2009samcguff - Oct 14, 2009
"Pacing and pacing" - Fsu Admission Essay Vires

3 - You make the change sound so sudden, without explanation. You say you became "quiet" and "to yourself" but you...

Undergraduatetravisto - Oct 13, 2009Mariam892 - Oct 14, 2009
Undergrade Advice (contribute to diversity + meaningful event)

2 - Be honest, but do it in a tactful way. never put anything that will detract from the admissions office...

UndergraduateCollegeBoundKid - Oct 14, 2009Mariam892 - Oct 14, 2009
FSU "Vires, Artes, Mores".. artistic pursuits.

3 - You can just write another draft and post the new one below. Let me give my ieas for this...

Undergraduatebpyk - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
Florida State Essay - Latin terms used correctly?

2 - This is great! The poem is great, and the inspiration you draw from your brother is, too. I think...

Undergraduatedatagirl - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
Slower runners - FSU essay -vires, needs to be looked over

2 - When you refer to a word, put it in " " marks: The ideals within the Latin word "Vires"...

Undergraduateblakjackk - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
FSU Essay, my father, my family, vires artes mores

2 - Religion and my family, especially my grandfather, have provided my guiding prrinciples throughout my life. I think you...

Undergraduateluiscabiya - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
'The whole world is one big stage' - Admission Essay- Vires, Artes, Mores

2 - Use a comma to separate the 2 halves of a compound sentence: I open my eyes, and I...

Undergraduateaustnpd - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse now Comparison

2 - Hey that sure sounds like an impressive response. What is this "the horror" concept from? I mean, where...

Book Reportstrevgolfer - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
learning language in your own country or the country it is spoken.

2 - You write very clearly, and with good grammar. I think there is an error in that first sentence, though....

Writing Feedbackzhigoolet - Oct 12, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
this is my essay for university of notre dame. i need help with making it better

2 - After a few days at the centre, I knew what I wanted to do to help people if I...

Undergraduateoyinlola - Oct 12, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
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