Writing Feedback / Do you think flights should be taxed more? The number of air travel rose enormously - IELTS TASK 2 [NEW]

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years.
What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights?
Do you think flights should be taxed more?

Sky traffic becomes more crowded today. It is happens due to many people are tended to use public flight transportation for wide range of purposes, such as business and holiday. In my opinion, even though flight would abolish the existence of land and marine conveyance, airplane is the most efficient transport in the world. More detail explanation will discuss in below.

Every airport becomes busier in this day and age, since the airfare gets cheaper. This condition has a detrimental effect on other types of public transport, such as busses for land or ships for nautical transportation. Recent research conducted by local government in Indonesia reveals that the percentages of marine passenger dropped by 13% in 2012. Land and marine transportation will be abandoned if the government not takes initiative to deal with the issue. As such, impose more tax to the aviation industry.

On the other hand, it cannot be avoidable that flight is the most efficient way to travel. It only take a few hour for reach thousands kilometers. For instance, the journey from Indonesia to Saudi Arabia which is take 9 hours in flights and its costing around $820, it has slight different prices with a large ferry, but when we consider about time, this is will not be longer discussed. Moreover, thanks to the government which gives a low tax and the competitive market among airways companies, this condition leads a cheap ticket prices for the passenger.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that the benefits of flights outweigh the drawback. In this circumstance, I agree if the government increase the tax for aviation industry. Where possible the authorities collaborate with the private parties to calculate taxes, in purpose to have a win-win solution.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 - The tables and pie chart survey in New Zealand's new shopping facilities [2]

The tables and pie chart illustrate the percentages of satisfactions survey in a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand. Overall, it can be seen that most visitor are satisfied in three survey categories. In any case, restaurants are the most attractive factor in that shopping complex. A more detail explanation about the result of survey follows below.

According to the data, 55% of male visitors are satisfied with the restaurant foods. On the other hand, the female shoppers tend to take pleasure in shopping at approximately 37% in survey. There are a similar number of very satisfied male and female visitors in the restaurants survey at around 25% and 27% respectively.

Turns out to shopping complex complains, there are few customers who has dissatisfaction with the shops category around one in fifth in both genders. Then, in the restaurants category, female sector has seen the highest unpleasant percentages at 21%. Furthermore, the concept of that shopping complex only had 10% complaint from the customer.

• 
  writing_34_task_1_pi.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / The schema of reusing rain water in day-to-day activities (IELTS TASK 1) [3]

The diagram describes the process of reusing rain water in day-to-day activities. Overall, there are two sources of water, from the dam reservoir and the rain itself. In fact, some equipment's is needed to treat the water. A more complete explanation of the rainwater reused follow below.

In this picture dam is the prominent sources of water stockpile. It is can storage a huge amount of water from the rainfall in the rainy season. Before it can be consumed, the water is treated first in water treatment plant. Next, the water which is had used sent to the waste water treatment, in there it recycled in order to be reuse again. Moreover, excess treated water is discarded to the river.

The second source of water comes directly from the rainfall. The rainwater tank which is located beside the house has a function to accommodate the running rainwater on roof of the house. Then it distributes to home for house hold purposes. Furthermore, storm water treatment directly send the rainwater to the river without consuming.

• 
  Writing_33_Task_1.jp.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / Diagram process creates a black tea - a four-step process (IELTS TASK 1) [4]

A four-step process of manufacturing black tea has illustrated in this diagram. As it can be seen, although in the third stage it differs on traditional and modern method, the initial and eventual processes are similar in both of tea types.

The production begins with selecting the best tea leaves in the plantation which is only bud and 2 top leaves. After picked up, the leaves are arranged on rack in order to release 60% of moisture from the leaves. This process called withering and use standing fan to blow the wind into the leaves. Once it moisture remaining 40%, the leaves is ready to be transformed into loose tea or tea bags. This is where the process diverges. To make loose tea, the leaves are manufactured with traditional method which is being rolled flat and broken with rolling machine. According the another process with modern method the leaves are cut, torn, and curled with cutting machine in order to generate tea bags. Before it ready to consume, both of tea types need to be fried or dried again in oven. The purpose of this treatment is not only to release flavor and aroma but also push out 97% moisture (in total) goes out from leaves.

• 
  Writing_32_Process_T.png
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - Little leisure time and pressure to work hard on studies [2]

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies.
What do you think are causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Tight competition leads people to study hard. As the consequence, they not only have a little leisure time but also under a huge pressure on studying. In my point of view globalization is the main causes of this condition while curriculum regulation also has to be considered. This essay will discuss some possible solution for that situation.

Globalization cannot be avoidable in this era. That circumstance leads young generation to study harder since the competitiveness occurs in every country. If the students get a good mark, that could be a benefit for them. They can apply to work in a well-known company which is offered them a huge salary.

On the other hand, thanks to a lot of pressure and a few relaxed time, students able to feel a great depression. It will lead the pupil to has disorder behavior. For instance, BBC news in 2014 reported that one of scholar student shot people randomly in a college area. After he being arrested, the further investigation reveal that man had a lot of depression due to his study. From that case the education authority must evaluate and create a regulation about time to be spent on studying. We can adopt what Japan government did, they have an obligation for every school in Japan to restrict the study time and accommodate their student's hobby. As such painting, music, sport, or another activity which are can reduce depression on study. That activities also can improve your creativity. In addition, manage your own time and do quality time with your lovely people also bring a less stress.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that the authority regulation and globalization carrying an immense pressure to study hard. Where possible government evaluate the curriculum and change it if necessary, or you can manage your time to gain less stress.

Writing Feedback / Can we lose our cultural identity because of the mass communications and transport? IELTS TASK 2 [4]

TOPIC :
As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.

TO what extend do you agree or disagree?

Globalisation cannot be avoided these days since the development of technology in communication and transportation. Some people believe it will lead to wipe out the nation culture. Even though this matters carrying an immense benefit, I definitely agree that sooner or later mass communication and transport will vanished our cultural identity.

Technology in transportation such aero plane gives us a lot of benefit like travel around the world just in few hours. Besides that, the mass transmittal information media let us to keep up to date with recent global news. For instance, Youtube has provides billions of videos in every category includes movie trailer, recent news, or the nation culture event. It allows us to learn and understand each rich-culture in the world. So, they tend to keep the culture in different forms.

On the other hand, I extremely agree that technological growth leads us to forget our identity. It happens in developed country as Indonesia. The youngsters of Indonesia inclined to learn western culture then their own nation-culture. Harajuku, Pop, and Music rock are more popular than traditional music (Gamelan) among young generation people in Indonesia. In addition, thanks to airplane technology which bring more foreign people come to another country and disrupt the origin way of life.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that mass communication and transport will abolish the tradition slowly. Where possible, the government should create a regulation in order to protect the cultural identity.

Writing Feedback / Market share of the well-known mobile phone brands between 2005 and 2006 [3]

The table describes the percentages of market share of well-known phone brands between 2005 and 2006. Overall, it can be seen that Nokia brand had leading in a two year period. In any case, the users of BenQ mobile got the worsen percentages in 2006.

Nokia is the best brand in the survey, this brand not only had increased their market by 2.5% but also dominated with over than thirty percent in this following years. It is stark in contrast to BenQ mobile users which was the lowest portion in table with below than five percent and it experienced dropped from 4.9% to 2.4% in the time frame.

There was Motorolla brand that had the significant improvement in market share. It accounted rose by 8.4% and became the strongest rival of Nokia. On the other hand the popular brand mobile phone from Korea, Samsung, seen lost their market by 0.9% or only took of 11.8% in 2006. The other brands (Sony Ericson and LG) cannot impressive the users and just play at 6-7% in the competitive market.

• 
  Writing_30_Task_1.jp.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - High crime rate in youngster is parents and teachers responsibility [2]

Topic :
Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologist claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

In these days many teenagers have involved in huge crime case. Several expertise in psychology believe it happened due to lack of emotional and social training from their parents and teachers. Even though media-rich society also contributes, I definitely agree with that psychologist statement.

Every house has at least a television nowadays. We almost spend all of our leisure time to watch the television, and without our awareness we have been affected by that TV programs. For instance, harassment program on screen such as wrestling competition and criminal case investigation are having severe influence on the viewer. Porn industries also have a significant portion on this. Especially on the teenagers who still looking for their identity and have tend to trying on what they watch. As the results, the rape that it does by the teenagers sharply increase at the same time as electronic media develops these days.

On the other hand, I would argue that parents and teachers are being the most responsible person in this condition. Teachers almost spend 42 hours per week of their time to keep in touch with the student in a class. Moreover, parents who have much more time than a teacher in children life has an immense portion in responsibility of children behavior. They can teach their youngsters children from the small things like helping people in the street or showing them a respect to the elderly people. When the parents or teacher do some good, the children will follow and it will have the same effect in the opposite.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that both of parents and teachers have the most significant portion in teenagers crime rate. Where possible the parents can accompany their child when he watches a movie.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - Big Influence of media-rich society [5]

Topic : It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

Television is an obligation in every home these days. People have been seriously affected by this kind of media in their life. Although the benefit like receive information more fast help us to keep up to date, the drawbacks such as severe habits due to the effect of television programs had outweigh the merit.

Almost every day in their life people watches television, not only adults but children do. The news programs are very interesting, it brings a lot of information in order to make us keep up to date with global issues in second. Moreover, for some people this media-rich society can produces money in their industrial circumstances.

On the other hand, that media bring plenty of demerit effect in the people. Some lack program influence the kids to being more evil. In school the pupils imitate the TV program such as wrestling competition or sex adult which is not proper for them. There was an incident in one of college in USA, the scholar shot his friends with gun in head due to the influenced of Rambo movies. In addition, elementary students had a sex with their peer after watch porn movies in television.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that media carried out greater demerit than the merit itself. Where possible restrict the program or filter it by divided the viewer of different ages.

Writing Feedback / People in America vs Asian and European dwellers - Rail transport table usage in four countries [3]

This table describes the usage of rail transportation in four different countries in 2007. Overall, it can be seen Asian country, Japan, had a considerable higher of rail transport user between all. In any case, USA rail transport brought the highest Cargo stuff in the following year.

There was 0.3 the number of people in America who used train as their transportation. It is stark in contrast to the figure of Japanese dwellers who used this kind of transportation at 27. The rail transport users in Japan also seen as the farthest distance up to 1980 kilometers per person. In addition, UK and Italy only had 770 and 780 kilometers respectively.

On the other hand, even though USA became the lowest country in the distance of passenger use rail transport solely at 80 kilometers, this nation had dominated in the number of cargo carried out by rail transport at 2.820 billions of tons. The others country (UK,Japan,Italy) for below USA in the number of cargo transport with rail transportation, in range 20 to 23 billions of tons.

• 
  Writing_29_Topic_1.p.png
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - Clothes are the most important indication of your identity [6]

TOPIC :
Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fashion has become a primary need in lifestyle today. Although many people convinced clothes represent the truth of who you are, others think they cannot be judged in that way. In my opinion , use right clothes in the right places would be the best solution in these circumstances.

In these days , clothes function have been moved not only for covering our bodies, but also reveals our identity. For instance, someone will obtain a compliment from the other if they wear well-known branded clothes. We cannot take a walk in huge supermarket only use short pants and slipper. There was a research, that most of the salesgirl in department store chooses their target by looking at his appearance. This discovery emphasizes, if the good clothes will get more attention.

On the other hand, I would argue we cannot judge the individuals just from what they wear. The founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, is the good example of this condition. Even though he is the 11th richest man in the world (Forbes survey), he only wears a common t-shirt and trousers. Moreover, there are several crimes happen in immense town since the victim fooled by well suited clothes. The victim argued that the deceiver appearance is very neat and decided to join with their business, but in the end this deceiver disappear and take her money.

To sum up, this is inevitable, that fashion has a proportion in our life, but we should look deeper before judging somebody. Where possible, wear a proper clothes in order to adjust with the different conditions.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 - The Measurement of Parent Happiness With Children [6]

These pie charts describe the happiness of parents with children in different ages. Overall, it can be seen that the parents which are fairly happy with their children has dominated in both charts. In general, parents become less happy when their children grow older.

The percentages of unhappy parents who have very young and teenage children represent the lowest portion in the charts at 3% and 4% respectively. This in stark contrast to parents who have a fairly happy feeling with their children having more than a half. Besides that, it is also accounted a slight rise by 11% as long as the children encounter a transition from a very young child to become a teenager.

Parents with a very happy feeling take a second highest percentage in each chart at around 47% of parents with very young children and 35% from parents with teenage children. This seems dropped by 12% along with a children growth and the percentages experienced a spread to a fairly happy and an unhappy parent. Furthermore, it seems the happiness of parents is decreased when their kids grow older.

• 
  Writing_26_Topic_2.j.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 - Relationships at work (with supervisor and co-workers) [5]

These both pie charts illustrate the percentage of employee relationships. The first chart with the supervisor and the second chart indicates with their co-workers between 2005 and 2009. Overall, it can be seen that the strong bond relation had dominated and on the other hand, poor relationship seen becomes the lowest percentages in both charts over a 4-year period.

To begin, the number of workers whose had very good connection marked increase from 61% to two-thirds over the following years. It was in stark contrast to fair relationship it had only 6% in 2009 or dropped by 2% in the main time frame. While the employees who do not answer the survey disappear in 2009, and in the same time poor relationship leveled off solely at two percent.

Next, between 2005 and 2009, the percentages of very good relationship with co-workers becomes a considerable higher, over than a half. Beside that, it also experienced a steady rose by 7%. Furthermore, people who work alone (did not have co-workers) had a lowest percentage virtually at 2% in 2009, while good relationship took the second highest place in a quarter over the period.

• 
  writing_26.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / It is impossible to avoid fundamental factor of business - making money [2]

Topic :
The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Bigger company earns more profit. Thanks to that statement, entrepreneur believes the main goal of business is to earn money. However, I partly disagree with that sentence, other factor such as doing thing that make you passionate and protect environment are more important than the money itself.

Everything have a price, includes health and happiness. It cannot be denied that money takes an important role in our life nowadays. That's why business is established, to produce more money. Plenty of entrepreneurs convinced if only care about profit and asset; then as a consequence the firm can grow rapidly.

On the other hand, there are some businessmen who started their business without money desire. For instance, Mark Zuckerberg which is the founder of Facebook was started the business with do something which make him passionate. He did not suppose his hobby about programming computer can bring him to obtain billions dollar. Forbes noted Zuckerberg became the-11th richest man in the world. In addition, the company also needs to care about the environment. How they can manage waste and how they care about greenhouses effect, only a small part of company could do to protect the nature. There is evidence from researcher, if the company only cares about the profit they will go into liquidation sooner or later.

The aforementioned argument reveals, it is impossible to avoid fundamental factor of business which is getting money even though other factor must be considered, in order to maintain the continuity of business.

Writing Feedback / How the air circulates in a house and waste of energy due to heat losses - IELTS diagram [3]

Air leaks and heat loss in houses - ielts task 1

The diagram illustrates how air circulates in a house and it cause waste of energy due to heat losses. Overall it can be seen that large air getting in from the first floor. In any case, a lot of air has escaped from a home through the ceiling.

First, air leaks into the house from several different places. Both of windows and a door in first floor seems becoming the main entrance of it. Another air comes through from outdoor facet and crawl space in the basement, but only in a small quantity. Household appliances, such as dryer vent and kitchen fan also allow air to penetrating into home.

Next, owing to carrying heat from electric appliances and human activities in certain room, the large amount of air rises and escapes by penetrates through the ceiling in the first floor. This air passes attic hatch and recessed lights which leads to the space in roof.

These circumstances mean dissipate the energy since cold air absorbs the heat and carrying it to outside of the house.

Please note you'll get suspended the next time you post unhelpful messages in other students' threads.

• 
  P_20150916_220733.jp.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / Wind turbines - the figure describes how the elictricity is made and best place to locate generators [3]

The figure describes how a turbine can generates electricity and available places to put it. It is noticeable that wind turbine is constructed from 4 main part. In any case, spotting wind turbine in higher location invents optimum wind blows.

Then stand out from the diagram, the wind turbine consist of blades, wind sensor, generator, and steel tower. In the first process, blades which are made from fiberglass or wood are whirled since hit by the wind. Next, the electronic sensor adjusts the direction and velocity of that turbine and sends the data to personal computer inside the controller room. The generator has a function to convert the kinetic energy from blades into electricity and it can produce up to 1500 kilowatts.

Concerning to the best places spotting a turbine, the figure reveals at the peak of plateau can obtain maximum wind strengths. Alternatively, that turbine can be placed in sea level or in a locally, but as consequences it produces less electricity.

• 
  Writing_24_topic_2.j.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / Negative effect of electronic media on personal relationship - ielts task 2 [3]

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, personal relationship means to interact face-to-face between people. While the inventions of electronic media have brought the detrimental effect to that statement, I would argue the benefits such as, maintaining relationship in long distance and be acquaintance with plenty friends outweigh the drawback like antisocial behavior.

It seems to me that electronic media involve much positive effect on human relationships. Thanks to Graham Bell the creator of hand phones, his findings establishing us to keep in touch with long distance friends or families whenever we feel hankers. Not only this, the internet discoveries send us to the further step of human history, when it combines with yours digital media it creates a powerful weapon for that personal connection. To exemplify, latest smartphones allowed us to have a set eyes communication with interlocutor. In addition, from social media (facebook, twitter, and whatsapp) we can be acquaintance with different people around the world.

In fact, the corrosive effect of that technology is depending on the users. They can choose to become addictive in their gadget or not. For instance, in Jakarta the group of teenagers in a café where preoccupied with their personal computer rather than talking to each other; it also noticeable that pedestrian in this city looks at their smartphone more often than behold to the pavement. In conclusion, it is your choice, take that negative effect and become asocial or the opposite.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that digital media have merit and demerit consequences. However, the advantages of that digital media are inevitable. It is clearly seen greater than the detrimental effect. Where possible act more responsibly when you use that technology .