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Posts by Vns9x
Name: Shon Do
Joined: Sep 23, 2014
Last Post: Jul 5, 2015
Threads: 102
Posts: 230  
From: Russia
School: Gymnaisym 123

Displayed posts: 332 / page 5 of 9
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Vns9x   
Nov 12, 2014
Writing Feedback / Clothes have always played a leading role when it comes a person's behavior. [3]

People behave differently when they wear different clothes. Do you agree or disagree that different clothes influence the way people behave?

Clothes have always played a leading role when it comes a person's behavior. They determine people's objectives in many ways such expressing yourself, and abiding the rule. Therefore, I completely agree with the statement.

Generally speaking, clothes can make a huge impact on people since it indicates his true desires. In other words, people usually have some specific intentions of wearing a variety types of clothes. It can be mean that they are obeying the principles in the school or office. To clarify, imagine yourself wearing a uniform since it is imperative in the school. Otherwise, your grades will be reduced or your parent will have to write an explanation. It also applies to teachers because they have to appear as an intellectual person to be admired by many scholars. The result can be seen by the naked eyes, people intentionally wear a definite type of cloth to fit in well with their atmosphere.

Aside from obeying the rules, clothes are also the method for many people to express their profound feelings of a current moment owing to the fact that clothes are almost the first thing that people usually notice. Even though, it does not apply to some cases since many people are underprivileged and thus do not possess many types of clothes to wear, however this applies to the majority of people. By way of example, envision yourself deliberately dressing as an typical human being which is wearing some casual clothes such as blue jeans, shorts, and a pair of black shoes. By wearing those listed things, people will immediately recognize you as a person who is quite normal and do not stand out from anyone else. As a result, clothes are the indicator of your behavior and intentions.

The aforementioned reasons examine that clothes do influence on people's behavior because clothes can be utilized as the way which allow people express their feelings and they also can be used to show your submission. Indeed, I concur the belief made in the statement.
Vns9x   
Nov 11, 2014
Writing Feedback / Along with job, marriage, having a child comes the moment when you cannot escape from being an adult [5]

People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer

It is inevitably to become an adult someday since time flies. There are many events such as obtaining the first job, being married and having a kid will prove that you are no longer a kid. This essay will confirm all mentioned above events.

Generally speaking, having a job is the first step of being an adult because that it is the moment when you can rely only on yourself. You will have to worry about your income and expenses when it comes to daily activities such as shopping, supplying essential commodities, and buying medicines since you can no longer rely on somebody as parents or relatives. Even though, it is quite common to see that some people still rely on their parents after having a job. However, it is not permanent because after all this is their life, and their parents cannot live forever with them. To clarify, imagine yourself having a first job after a definite interview. The result is obvious, from that point of life, you will have to independently shoulder an abundance of responsibilities and being an adult is all about liabilities.

Alongside a first job, marriage is also the event that prove that you are ready to become a person for many people to rely on. By marrying, you as an adult will need somebody to fulfill the happiness of having a new family 'a child'. Having a child is the moment when it will force you to be an adult since you will have to take care of your offspring to make your child fit in well with our society as well as your family. By way of example, envision yourself marrying and thus as time goes by you will have a child who needs you to rear. As a result, you cannot be a kid anymore since you will have to be a role model for your kids to provide them a good example of typical human being.

All in all, I consider that job is the event which will force you to become the real adult owing to the numerous responsibilities. Along with job, marriage or especially having a child is also the moment when you cannot escape from being an adult because the child will need somebody to teach him.
Vns9x   
Nov 10, 2014
Writing Feedback / People's life expectancy is getting longer and longer due to many external factors [6]

Louisa Mae,

It is not a surprise that these days' people tend to live longer than those who lived in ancient times. There are numerous factors that have caused this phenomenon such as foods and the technique of consuming them, and the medical treatments. This essay will clarify all the mentioned above reasons.

Generally speaking, the amount of foods and the habits of consistently following the advice from many magazines and other resources when it comes to eating have definitely contribute to our life expectancy. People now know how to farm and graze in a proper way and thus foods are not a problem for many human beings anymore. Also, the majority of people in modern times have gotten numerous advice from journals and experts when it comes to the right way to balance our meals. To clarify, imagine yourself living in this modern age. Clearly, foods are not the issue for you anymore and you have dozens of guidelines about dieting. As a result, your body will be healthier and healthier each day.

Another huge contribution of life expectancy is our scientific research , especially, medicines. We possess many technologies than can create the right pill for a definite type of illness and disease. Moreover, people vaccinate each year to prevent from many horrible diseases. Therefore, our life has always been protected by those technologies. By way of example, envision a guy who has cancer. Back then, in ancient times, there was no way for him to survive from this thing. However, by using nowadays' technologies, you can cure it, if the cancer is at its first stage, if not you still will be able to maintain your life for a long time.

The aforementioned reasons examine that due to the amount of foods, which we have and the way we consume them is positively affected our life expectancy. Medical treatments have also played a key role when it comes to life expectancy, since with them we can heal ourselves from many diseases and illneseas.
Vns9x   
Nov 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / People's life expectancy is getting longer and longer due to many external factors [6]

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this
phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

People's life expectancy is getting longer and longer due to many external factors. Firstly, it is because of the unlimited foods. Secondly, now, we can heal a number of diseases. This essay will clarify all the mentioned above reasons.

Foods has played a leading role when it comes to prolonging our life expectancy. In fact, people in the ancient time used to die because of the shortage of foods since the climate constantly changes and they cannot deal with it. As a result, it was a challenge for them to properly farm or graze. Furthermore, they did not know the right technique to correctly farm or graze. Consequently, it also contributed to the scarcity of foods. These days, when people begin to create genetically modified foods and understanding the correct way to approach crops or animals, From that point, human life has completely changed because they will have a sufficient amount of foods to consume ,unlike, people in the ancient time.

Another contribution to our long life expectancy is definitely medicines. People in past usually died because they could not cure their diseases or illnesses. In fact, they do not even aware that even a simple illness such as flu could lead them towards death or at least reducing their life expectancy. They always thought that it was the punishment from the god and it was impossible to cure anything. Therefore, the majority of people in the past usually died from the age of 25 to 35. Obviously, these days, people even have the remedy to cure cancer or other serious illnesses. Therefore, medicines and treatments slow down our aging.

The aforementioned reasons examine that because of the foods, which we are currently consuming is the factor that extend our life expectancy. Furthermore, these days, we know how to settle down many of our diseases. Thereby, they also help us as human beings to live longer.
Vns9x   
Nov 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / Technology is the tool that reinforce people to get numerous knowledge overnight [8]

Louisa Mae, i have just rewritten my essay.

Technology has always played a leading role when it comes to students. In fact, utilizing technologies is the ideal learning method because it helps and encourages students to study more and more in many ways. Therefore, I totally agree with the statement and this essay will present some of the reasons to clear all my beliefs out.

Today, as a result of technologies, students are getting more and more knowledgeable, since technologies facilitate the process of learning by accelerating the speed of searching for a new information. In fact, teachers now are the people who have to worry about themselves because ,nowadays, students can easily surpass their master by utilizing technologies. Consequently, these days' teachers should always be in touch with the current events. Otherwise, students will be able to catch them up or even exceed them. To clarify, envision yourself being a typical student, obviously, you possess the Internet, thus whenever you need to learn something, then you will just need to click and type a few times in order to find the answer for it.

Moreover, leaning process has become a fun activity for many students due to technologies. The internet, for example, has an abundance of games and interactive rooms to entertain or to discuss about a definite topic. People who desires to learn more than just the basis can use them to broaden their mind. Since, there are also a plenty of people who have the same goal which is expanding the current knowledge. Furthermore,, by using technologies you can share your knowledge and secrets to many people and it works the opposite way as well when people will reveal some of their secrets and sharing with you their knowledge. Therefore, it is a win-win situation.

The aforementioned reasons examine that technologies has facilitated the learning process for tremendous students by reducing the amount of time of finding a new source information. Furthermore, technologies have been considered as a fun place for a large group of students to obtain more knowledge.
Vns9x   
Nov 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / Technology is the tool that reinforce people to get numerous knowledge overnight [8]

Technology help students to learn more and quickly. Agree or disagree.

Technology has always become a most pivotal utility because it provides us with tremendous amount of knowledge. Furthermore, it has sped up our searching information process. Therefore, I totally agree with the statement.

Technology has been able to connect many people around the world. In fact, people are the source of the information. As a corollary, technology has created for us a virtual world which contains an abundance of knowledge.

[...]
Vns9x   
Nov 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / People in the past ate healthier (food) than people do today [3]

An increasing number of people begin to discuss whether people in the past ate healthier food. Many people are of the opinion that the food people ate in the past were cleaner and safer. As for me, I strongly contend that people nowadays eat food with lower quality for following reasons.

The most critical reason is that food in the past was more natural and wholesome.
Layout also important when it comes to mark. You need to provide some more detailed information before presenting an example.
Vns9x   
Nov 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / Events like FIFA world cup can positively improve the international relationships [4]

It is certainly true that international sporting occasions like foot ball cups are very popular incidents, so I strongly agree with the idea that similar events play a big roll in relieving international tension and help in releasing the national emotions in a safe way.

this introduction need works. It does not contain the information you presented in the body paragraphs.
Vns9x   
Nov 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Friendship; constantly borrowing money can lead towards a plenty of negative results [2]

It is sometimes said that borrowing money from a friend can harm or
damage the friendship. Do you agree? Why or why not? Use reasons and
specific examples to explain your answer.

Borrowing money has always been a last resort for a number of people. In fact, by doing so the person that gives you money can consider you as a burden. Moreover, it usually ends up pretty horrible because relationship can only be maintained if it is benefit both members. This essay will clear all listed arguments up.

Obviously, no one likes when they have to lend money even if those people were the closest friends. After all, they have their own life which contains an abundance of problems and successes as anybody else on this planet. Consequently, borrowing money from somebody will slowly destroy the current friendship. To clarify, imagine yourself, being a person who has a friend who always asking for money and a favor. Clearly, as time goes by, it will get more and more irritating since you have your own problems that could associated with your expenses, and income. As a result, your most likely choice will be staying as far from that borrower as possible regardless whether he is your friend or not.

Furthermore, friendship is usually the relationship which benefits both members. In other words, if today you borrowed money from your friend then tomorrow you will have to pay out and help your friend if they are in trouble as the way they supported you. Therefore, there is nothing free in this world. Everything has its own price. Otherwise, if you do not fulfill those mentioned above principles, then no one is going to be your friend or you will not have many of them. By way of illustration, envision yourself giving your friend a ride. You might say that it is free and convince your friend that he does not necessitate to pay back. However, deep inside your soul , you want it. Thus, if he does not pay you back anything in the near future, then you will consider him useless or even worse. As a consequence, your friendship will be over.

Aforementioned reasons examine that it is true that constantly borrowing money can lead towards a plenty of negative results that could easily kill the friendship. Firstly, no one wants to get borrowed especially when it comes to money. Secondly, friendship is a breakeven thing.
Vns9x   
Nov 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Animals are waiting for us to be rescued [5]

Louisa Mae, You lack a clear understanding of the English vocabulary
Could you point out which word was inappropriate.
Vns9x   
Nov 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Animals are waiting for us to be rescued [5]

Louisa Mae, thanks for advice, i am pretty sure it will consume lots of time to do so, and another thing would you mind checking my previous roads essay out?
Vns9x   
Nov 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Animals are waiting for us to be rescued [5]

Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such
as forests, animals, or clean water. Choose one resource that is
disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved. Use specific
reasons and examples to support your opinion.

These days, numerous animals are endangered as a result of tremendous humans ignorance. In fact, there are two reasons why animals need to be saved. First and foremost, they do not have the ability to rebirth themselves. Last but not least, it will help our offspring to be more knowledgeable about animals. This essay will clarify all the mentioned above reasons.

Currently, animals are uncreatable for human. Furthermore, It has taken a long time for our planet to form such precious animals that we see nowadays. Even today, many animals are still forming since they need to adjust to this manmade world. A large group of animals are dying out, the rest of them are still living under the poor condition. It is imperative for us to save them because eventually all of them will be extinct. To clarify, envision yourself, if elephants disappear from this world due to human careless activities, obviously, it will be impossible for us to resurrect this species. Thereby, every single animal need to be supported immediately before it is too late.

Moreover, we must keep them under a proper condition and maintain them for our future generations. They also have to right to check them out, and to touch it. Since, it will provide our kids with more information and knowledge. In fact, if we do not take animals' issue seriously, our kids' knowledge will greatly suffer from it. By way of illustration, I can recall myself being a kid back then, I was really curious about dinosaurs and Mahmoods. They were a mystery for me, Unfortunately, due to many natural disasters and humans' hunting, all those priceless creatures are now extinct. Hence, in order to not make a same mistake twice we need to take care of our world's animals.

The aforementioned reasons examine that animals are waiting for us to be rescued. Firstly, those creatures only live once. Secondly, our next generations should also have the same opportunity as us to see those animals face-to-face.
Vns9x   
Nov 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / Repairing our current roads would lead to many positive consequences [6]

Roads are our main hometown's issue. It has lead us towards many problems such as traffic jams and ,furthermore, it does not appeal to tourist that much. Thereby, our roads is the thing that i would change if had the opportunity to choose.

Although, it is still movable on the road, however, due to numerous broken roads, from-time-to-time we had a large number of traffic jams or congestions, car accidents. People are immensely suffering from its consequences. To clarify, I can recall myself being late on classes, my teacher always lowering my grades on the test, as a result of me being late. Even though, she knew that my home has a long way to school. However, I perfectly understand that it was not her fault. After all, she just did what she meant to do. Another example. I remember when my dad arrived late on his first interview due to some unexpected car accidents. In fact, he had to help an injured person by bringing him to the hospital. Consequently, he could not arrive on time.

Moreover, our roads are the first thing that tourist usually look at by the naked eye. Sometimes, the road they see repels them from visiting many historical places. Since, it always consumes from them at least 2 hours in order to see those historical remnants of our hometown. Eventually, our country branded a notorious rumor associated with our road. Therefore, less and less tourists sightsee in my hometown. Envision yourself, being a tourist, obviously, time is precious for you and pretty much for anybody on this planet. Clearly, once you heard that it will take from you at least a few hours to check some remnants out. It can easily take the wind out of your sails. Furthermore, after coming to home sweet home, you will definitely share your horrible experiences with your friends or relatives. Thus, my hometown has had a notorious reputation so far because of our roads.

The aforementioned reasons examine that repairing our roads are essential. Firstly, there are countless congestions as a consequence of broken roads. Secondly, not many tourists visit our hometown due to our horrible roads as well.

Please check thoroughly my modified essay out!
I will take the toefl test on 21th of November.
Any critics are welcome.
Vns9x   
Nov 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / Repairing our current roads would lead to many positive consequences [6]

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Repairing our current roads would lead to many positive consequences. First and uppermost, public transportation rely a lot on the condition of the road. Second of all, it can immensely help us to be more appealing for tourists. This essay will clarify all the mentioned above reasons.

Nowadays, especially my home town, a plenty of people commence utilizing public transportation. Since, petrol and gas's price are getting higher and higher. Thus, they tend to skip using their private vehicle, some of them even decided to not afford a vehicle.

[...]
Vns9x   
Nov 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Saving some lands! Ultimately, animals will be our number one priority [3]

Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry
are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you
agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific
reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, an abundance of animals are getting endangered due to underprivileged countries' careless activities. However, ultimately when we all are wealth, we will commence to protect the endangered species. Moreover, our offspring should also have the chance to look at those priceless animals. Consequently, saving some lands will support the mentioned above actions. This essay will clarify all the listed reasons.

Sooner or later, human will begin to take care of endangered species on this planet. However, we are still a long way before reaching that point, since we as human beings tend to think about ourselves first. It is perfectly understandable because that is our first natural instinct. In other words, there is no point for us to save animals while we are starving. Despite this possibility, I have a strong belief that when we all will be able to reach to the point, which is looking after endangered species, we will have to possess some lands in order to maintain all those precious animals. Imagine yourself if you overcame the poverty, then your most likely move is to think about others, especially, animals. Hence, having a free land would solve the issue because animals need to dwell somewhere that similar to their habitats, otherwise, they will be dying out.

Moreover, our future generations should also have the same opportunity as us, which is looking or even touching the animals. It can provide more knowledge for the future generations. It might turn out that they will be able to find the solutions for nowadays' endangered species. After all, they are our futures and we need to do everything to facilitate their researches or even their lives. To clarify, envision yourself, being a future scientist, obviously in order to solve the issue you need to understand its structure, history to correctly choose the right method.

The aforementioned reasons examine that it would be better if we could save some lands for quite a number of endangered creatures. Firstly, ultimately, animals will be our number one priority. Therefore, the sooner the better. Secondly, saving lands for animals would be beneficial for future scientists.
Vns9x   
Nov 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: If a student needs extra help with his schoolwork, it is better to ask a friend for help [4]

In addition, tutor's helping dosen't make feeling problem. Friends may make a trouble each other when he or she helps his or her friends. And it is caused disharmony in freindship. This situation is not nessecerity for studying. For example, one of my friends who enjoyed helping his friends did not give this up despite my sincere advice. On the contrary, he thought of heiping his friends about their schoolwork as an effective way of studying assightmaent. However, he did not commit the same mistake only after he broke up friendship with his best friend as he argued about his advise for his friend but it made his friend upset. After suffering from all the hardships he caused himself, the friend came to recognize how grave and irresponsible his mistake was. Therefore, the best way helping friend leads to asking for help from professional tutor.

I think that you should have mentioned that it does apply to every single tutor. However, the majority do.
Vns9x   
Nov 3, 2014
Undergraduate / Failure is one thing I can not live without, I do not fear failure, I welcome it [2]

I took home my test and explained it to my parents, surprisingly my mom was not upset at all. She told me that if I wanted the better grade I would have to work harder that instead of just doing the assigned work I would have to go the extra mile. So that is when I started reading the text book, making outlines, and watching AP chemistry lectures online. Every test I got back, I would go back and correct the answers making sure I knew how to do it, so next time I would not have an excuse to miss it.

this paragraph was quite interesting to read. In fact, try to put more details in this paragraph, then you will be quite good.
Vns9x   
Nov 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Free time can help us to relieve our stresses; play with kids rather than educating them [2]

If you were a busy parent, would you rather spend free time activities with them or educating them at home. Details and examples to support your point of view.

Free time activities is really important both for us and our child. Firstly, those times can help us to relieve our stresses. Secondly, we are not capable of changing our child mindset. This essay will clarify mentioned above reasons.

After long months of working hard, we obviously desire to have some free time activities with our offspring. Furthermore, it does not apply only to us, but also to our children, since they might painstakingly studied at school. In fact, this type of relaxation is pivotal because this is an perfect opportunity for us to be together and share our past experiences with each other. Clearly, it is the ideal moment to relieve our daily stresses as well as our child. Moreover, they can actually learn something from our past stories while conversing with us. In other words, we can kill two birds with one stone. To clarify, imagine yourself recalling your memories with your child. Consequently, he will be able to pick something up from your stories to facilitate his future life.

Moreover, being a busy parent and in parallel, educating a child at home can be really frustrating. Since, it is almost impossible to educate a child properly with such schedule. Thus, it might turn out that it was a total waste to educate our child at home. Nevertheless, keep in mind that we can only teach our child during infancy. After that, we are no longer useful for the reason that they will interact with different people on this blue planet. Thereby, their characters will shape by itself. We cannot interfere that process because most of their time they tend to spend it with their friends and teachers.

The aforementioned reasons examine that if I was a busy parent and had to choose between educating a child at home or spending free time activities outside with them. Undoubtedly, my choice will be to entertain with my kids. Since, both parents and children are exhausted after their duties. Moreover, we might also be able to teach them something during that time. Secondly, it really depends on our child more than us, thus, we will not be able to teach them especially when they passed the infancy stage.
Vns9x   
Nov 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / Essay on the right way to spend money [2]

Some people think governments should spend as much money as
possible exploring outer space (for example, traveling to the Moon and to
other planets). Other people disagree and think governments should
spend this money for our basic needs on Earth. Which of these two
opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support
your answer.

Although, some persons think that it is better to spend money on outer space. However, I have a strong belief that there is a plenty of issues on this blue planet that we need to firstly take care. Specifically, poverty and the supply of electricity. This essay will clarify all the reasons mentioned above.

Poverty has always been a leading issue in our world, since there is an abundance of underprivileged countries that require lots of supports from us. In fact, they do not have sufficient foods to consume, a proper education is not available for them. Obviously, how can we think about wasting money on outer space when those problems are still happening. Furthermore, when people are poor, they tend to do illegal things to survive such as poaching or hunting, cutting down numerous trees. As a result, our world is getting warmer and warmer each day. If we do not intend to solve this poverty issue, people will keep damaging our environment. Imagine ourselves , if we were underdeveloped and have offspring, clearly, we would have to do something about it. Hence, the only way to withstand this circumstance is by doing something illegally.

Moreover, another problem that we are suffering is electricity. Our world do not possess any permanent resource. In other words, it is limited. We have to solve this electricity issue as soon as possible. Since, electricity has played a pivotal role in our life. These days, it is almost impossible to live without electricity. To clarify, most of our technologies or utilities consume a definite amount of electricity. It can be a computer, a robot and many others.

The aforementioned reasons examine that there is tremendous unsolved things left in this world. Firstly , a large group of countries still need to be consolidated. Secondly, electricity is about to end on this planet. Indeed, I support the community, which consider that we must spend our money on basic needs first.
Vns9x   
Nov 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / The best and most cheerful memories we have from our children time [5]

Would i be able to improve in just 1 week since the exam is on 8th?And is it possible to correct those errors ?
Yes it is possible to enhance your writing skills within a week. However, it would surely consume from you lots of energy and efforts doing so.

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