Undergraduate / If i were an animal, I'd be the queen of the jungle- common app essay [7]

Nice essay. You structured very well & thoughts are dam nice.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK:Popular events are essential in easing internatiol tensions. [7]

why you concluded in only one paragraph? It is very very wide & interesting topic. The entire essay is very confusing. Think in lot broader way

Please, also include UN submit, G-20 meeting, G-7 meetings, hockey world cup, Cricket world cup, Euro cup, Oscar awards, grammy awards, Noble prize

Writing Feedback / Studying alone vs. with a group - both sides of the story [6]

My friend the content is ambiguous! A teacher will always teach group of students in a class. In order to get any clarification you can meet them at individual level. Thus it is not required to take whole group. Also at individual level after taking advantages of internet,Tv, libraries & getting advices from teachers things would be easier.Also, what is your individual view? It is not yet clear

In group people do wait for each other at decided point, chit-chit, diversion of concentration, no focus, waisting time in cafe to refresh

Undergraduate / 'really hard working'- world you come from and how your world shaped your aspirations [11]

"but because of them I became inspired in life." I think you write " their advices always inspired me through out my life.

Essays / My Dinner Essay (descriptive) - how to start? [3]

Yah he should express his ideas & write some content . I think he should include these content

1> Timing/tiredness/empty stomach after day long work
2> Importance of dinner for example while taking dinner he interact with his parent/siblings
3> what he like to eat ?
4> explain in different circumstances,how he take dinner?like enjoying dinner in hotel/ outing/tracking/get together/parties/marriage/important family functions
now eleborate and make 3 to 4 paragraph am I right Deepak baniya

Research Papers / Forensic Antropolgy Essay - how to research this topic? [4]

Please, check this link en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forensic_anthropology if you are beginner like me. Are you into this profession or just it is part of prof/teacher's exercise? There are lot of content just search in google.

Research Papers / Research paper proposal for diabetes & aviation human factors [11]

check out in google

Writing Feedback / Studying alone vs. with a group - both sides of the story [6]

1>Read this "When I study alone with my physics teacher, I always ask him some questions which help me to clarify the topic and even give me some extra information."

Actually I am not aware of teaching trend in your country. Do the teachers in your school/college teach you privately/seperately? I think every where we take some tips/suggestions/advices seperately from our teachers

2> you justified " you like to study alone" but I think it should be at the end not in the beginning of your essay.What are the disadvantages of group studies?

I think the disadvantages are "In group people do wait for each other at decided point, chit-chit, diversion of concentration, no focus, waisting time in cafe to refresh"

Research Papers / Forensic Antropolgy Essay - how to research this topic? [4]

Hi Julia,
Hope that link has really helped you in a big way, actually I am preparing for IELTS exams which is due on 13-Oct-12. Though I tried before but unfortunately I got 6.5 out of 9 band which is 1 point less than my requirments. You know for that reason only may I know are you aware of any online E-book, links which can be beneficial to me? I think you are quite aware of IELTS exams, please ask few of your friends/ collegues/ companions or BF/husband who can help me out.

You know when we work it is quite difficult to devote that much time, I think you can understand my situations. Some times competion is quite tough when last time I was in exam hall, I sat with 400 candidates, so you can imagine to which extent people are crazy to make their career. I think they all are desperate like me thus, I humbly request you again if you want to help me then send me on my email any link/ebook/website/ suggestion for giving interview/reading skills/writing skills/listening skills/spaking skills. yahoo.co.in is my email.

Best regards,
Amit

Writing Feedback / Training for work is more important than providing a broad base education? [3]

The topic is really very nice. There are plenty of things you can add. Brother let us make paragraphs/check your spellings (knowleged)
we can also add trainings are organised to improve our skills in particular fields/whenever new inventions or innovations are done in our field, company organise for not only new employees but also employees who are already in those fields for long time to get awareness / training are generally for low level professions for example welder/grinding/fitter/NDT where no back ground is required,but it is merely for handling particular work/objectives/handling machines. Training is a practicle application to understand how in real theories are interrelated to applications which is beneficial to human kind. Under going training is of short term/cheaper in which not only companies but also lot of giverment funded institutions/universities are also involed.

You have taken very good example of your profession but we can also add with time to time there are innovations in pur own field and to run efficiently in present world companies/instituions/universities organise them.

Writing Feedback / Studying alone vs. with a group - both sides of the story [6]

It is chit-chat not chit-chit. While writing my laptop's "a" button some times takes "i" , now after repair my laptop is ok & type correct word. Anton what you think should be very clear "what is in your mind" will never work unless examiner is fully convinced. Group study also include studying together by more than one student at his/her home.

"hire a teacher for extra individual studies" here are you talking of "tuition" isn't it? Whatever you said to justify yourself iam not convinced

Student Talk / Strategy to improve writing and listening? [12]

Thanks a lot for giving suggestions! I am tried twice for IELTS but unfortunately got 6.5 which is 1 point less to celebrate my "INDEPENDANCE DAY." I think people more and more should share their personal thoughts. I do watch & listen BBC,CNN, English movies & try to understand. English classes are good but they also seem to me more money making machines. I suggest to buy DVD as well as Cds too in English learning lessons. I also suggest to browse more and more google & read lot and lot and lot.

one website is www dot readcentral dot com or just type "to read free books online" in google you will get list of websites

Undergraduate / Determined to finish my degree haven't been in school for 2 1/2 yrs readmission essay [2]

"But there is no time like the present to make a positive change. Given the opportunity to finish my degree here at UCCS." Please check out this statement

Writing Feedback / 'learning ease' - Using a computer can have more negetive than positive effects? [3]

constant stairing the monitor as well as emission of radiations/obesity because of sitting are few more drawbacks but if we are using computer regularly then it is advisable to skip some times while working on computer/do some exercises.

"Another common point supporting using computer can cause positive effects is that using pcs help speedy the performance." read this statement it is incorrect.

usage of internet should be mention that is also one application

Writing Feedback / 'improper use' - Effect of tv on teenagers [5]

constant stairing of Tv screen/ as well as emission of radiations/obesity because of sitting are few more drawbacks but if we are watching Tv regularly then it is advisable to skip some times watching constantly./ Select few programmes only based on age group. In order to maintain discipline parent should intervene

"in today world, due to technology advancement many new devices appeared in human life such as cellphone"
check out this statement it irks me. I think it may be like this," in todays world,many advance electronic devices are made for benefit of mankind whether in the field of communication or entertainment for example cellphone, TV, internet

Graduate / 'theoretical and practical skills' - my SOP for Civil Engineering [5]

You have talked of structure engineering/environment engineering there are numerous branches in civil engineering which are beneficial to mankind like transport engineering(airport/jetties/air-fields)/geotechnical engineering(knowledge of earth science/ planning & construction management/earned value analysis/irrigation engineering/ usage of computer aidded designs & other planning software like Ms-Projects/Primavera/SAP ps/surveys & survey softwares.With the advent of new technology there are 1000 folds increase in precision in civil engineering branch.Which makes this subject more interesting & professional

You also forget to mention the design of those structures now a days are more safer to natural calamities like earth quake/sound proof. prefabricated structures/more environment friendly . Human tendency is not only to win on land but he want to create structures like Palm trees on sea bed/off-shore structures for oil explorations.

I think the message should be more understandable to a common person, for that you have to explain in brief those technical words

Graduate / 'theoretical and practical skills' - my SOP for Civil Engineering [5]

Yes buddy I am civil engineer. Actually iam also preparing for IELTS. You have any study material related to IELTS exams?
For what reasons you wrote this?Dont be offensive,you want to impress any female?
Chao
Amit

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Planning is better for free time activities OR not" [5]

Jennifer,
You are a great person. I check out your posts. I admire your helping tendency. I humbly request you to adivce me to pass my forth-coming IELTS exams.

Graduate / 'theoretical and practical skills' - my SOP for Civil Engineering [5]

I was just joking buddy. Well what type of deadline it is ? you have to submit some thing in your university or it is some thing else? My only advice for you is to have a broader look. You are ok with grammer but add lot of items, that I have already advised you. You go in google & type civil engineering, you will find lot of articles to read.

If you find any link or study material please don't hesitate to send in my email please. zaqq7866@yahoo.co.in
Ciao
AS

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay-whether writing letters will disappear completely [6]

Disadvantages
SMS text can't replace offical/legal letters for that there is always need of hand written letters. SMS text are totally un-offical way of presenting your self, it can run among friends/family for chit-chat only. Very important messages should be hand-written. Also visibility problems while reading are some other disadvantages. SMS text or emails are still not legal

Please, re-look again your essay there should be more inputs in advantages as well as disadvantages
Re-write again & post

Writing Feedback / Severe problems with student behaviour of schools in many countries-IELTS Essay [4]

One person's behavior is attributed by nature & nurture. Nature is surrounding where he/she lives & nurture denotes how he/she is brought up.

You explained only one reason that is computer software games/violent Tv programme but there are also other reasons they are bad company that always child a gloomy future/domestic violence/ tense parental relations/drug addictions etc.

Have a broader look
Please, re-look your essay & re-write again for our review.
Thanks
AS

Essays / Starting to write a paper on the topic: Smoking in public places [5]

Very interesting topic. It is always good to take Mr. ah_Zafari's advice.

Essays / Should I mention my health issue in my SOP? [12]

Don't mention. Essay forum is excellent in learning English/essay writing/ but who are these people/strangers to decide your fate.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Impacts of Technology and its crucial part of our lives [7]

Also we receive sms text messages/company's marketing representative call at any time (24x7) for selling their product/hacking of personal or company computer which clearly shows how the privacy is interrupted

Writing Feedback / 'When becoming a professional person' - ielts [6]

The topic is really tough & difficult to write.
"Today's technology very is advance in every area ". In conclusions, it is true that have natural talents but more than natural talents very important to have proper training. There are lot of spelling/grammatical errors as well as improper organisation.

Writing Feedback / 'When becoming a professional person' - ielts [6]

Dumi is correct & I totally agree with him. I think for letter writing/essay writing, essay forum is best. Good base too for IELTS exams. As I stated before the topic is really tough. In 20 minutes it would be difficult to club your thoughts in proper manner

Writing Feedback / Alternative form of transport and car ownership. [3]

HuongPinky alternative form of transport also means developments/inventions/research work done in the field of transportation, days are not too far when electric cars would run on roads. Which would require chargeable batteries/you also forget to mentions solar panel cars. Few days before on BBC it was shown how battery operated cars are working their main concern is speed that is only limited upto 50 km/hour.

Writing Feedback / 'technological development' -advanced technology widens the gap between rich and poor [2]

"has helped each and every the individuals" check this sentence it irks me.

"For example earlier mobile was used only by rich people " this too

On the other hand ,most would argue that a wide variety of technology has helped this too

advancement has helper both rich and poor with out any difference.
Sentence formation every where are not correct

"Firstly it is evident that ,due to wide variety of technology ,it has become very cheap. " I think the logic is like this," due to lot of competition/survival among companies the electronic items are getting cheaper and cheaper. If you watch BBC then you must know NOKIA mobile group is on the brink of bank-ruptcy. Thus companies always launch products thinking of middle-class as well as upper middle-class.

There are lot of things we can add
Thanks

Writing Feedback / IELTS;High sales are due to requirements, not because of power of advertisements [8]

"In fact, there are many products which meet the requirements of the society, but failed to provide fruitful results due to lack of proper knowledge about the product in the society."

A very good example is electric cars on road which is already in use.

"Moreover, the needs of people are not constant over a period of time." In my view people always like to buy those products which has lot of features for example handy/smooth/soft/precise/cheaper, if the company do not care those ideas the product launched in market would fail. Need of people majorly not constant over a period of time. But, there are few products for example trustworthy/energetic Indian herbal medicines "Chawanprash" which should be globally advertised so that it can reach every corner of globe.

Not only product but also there are ideas/schemes for example bank advertisment/housing loans/housing construction with lot of innovative schemes.
I totally agree with dumi whatever she/he has said

Writing Feedback / 'the hardest question for a teenage boy or girl' - article on "I want to become a..." [4]

"but with the help of my parents I was able to determine what I wanted to choose, I chose biology "parent's help irks me I think sentence could be more nice like this I love my parent very much who are always my source of inspiration, under their guidance I decided to choose Biology.

The sentences are not structured very well, I also think you mention your profession first then talk about your parent and how your parent gave the direction to enter in your doctor's profession.There is lot to say about this excellent profession with lot of excellent examples how you were attracted seeing them in society.

Thanks

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] different preferences of leisure activities [15]

There are few other examples like sea surfing/tracking/sea side views/get together/watching movies/playing outdoor games/sun set watching etc.
Well, I will also give IELTS exams on 13-oct-12 I too scored 6.5, I require 7.5

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] different preferences of leisure activities [15]

I think Maria you write very fast please, check your spelling "
amitt, hope thus (this ) time we get the required score. Good luck to us :)" Well, you have any study material please don't be shy to share with me. Also, I will send you few study material vis-a-vis. my email Id is zaqq7866@yahoo.co.in

Thanks a lot for advicing not to use contractions. My drawbacks are using vocabularies in writing as well as speaking.
Best Regards,
AS

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] different preferences of leisure activities [15]

Dumi Please, check my objections too that I have made are they correct??

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] different preferences of leisure activities [15]

Great, well I will also send you today in the evening, if I will receive some IELTS feedbacks!
Thanks for your encouraging words
Good Luck

Writing Feedback / 'choosing big cities is wise' - Do you prefer big cities or small towns, to live in? [5]

Ah_Zafari is excellent critic, we need him as our mentor
"Money Talks, Bullshit Walks "---- Means that cheap talk will get you nowhere, while money will persuade people to do as you like

Regards
AS

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] different preferences of leisure activities [15]

I send you many emails related to IELTS, hope you will also keep your promise!!
Regards,
AS

Writing Feedback / Physical exercise is important issue, should be a required part of every school day [4]

I think so much disection of essay is also not fruitful... if one contributor is giving his/her views in sentence making/grammer/spelling errors then others do take responsibility of examles/idioms/phrases... or some other areas ...this is too much

Good Luck
))):

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] different preferences of leisure activities [15]

Thanks for your book,please if you have some thing more do not hesitate to share with me.
Best Regards
AS

Writing Feedback / ESSAY: Is life better in a city or in a small town? [6]

This is really very nice topic, you can write a whole bible on this issue. Tonight I will give my own views
Regards
As

Writing Feedback / ESSAY: Is life better in a city or in a small town? [6]

Like Dumi i am also confused whether she like small town or big city. After just one or two disadvantages of living in big city she should start explain why she likes big cities. She should go in more scientific manner & exmples are utmost important to support your views. Air/noise/water pollution are three major issues she should mention. Inspite of there is heavy traffic but cities are so much well planned we can reach our destinations in stipulated time(metro trains/helpline buses/city buses. Help/support centers are available (24x7).Education/career oppurtunities/entertainment(multiplex/cinema halls)/job prospects/media attention/experince in living in cosmopolitan status make person more smart/hospitals/fast life/solutions to our querries etc.

We can go beyond any one's imaginations for example millionairs/big business flourish only in big cities. Etc.

Thanks