Writing Feedback / Writing a Public Health Policy Analysis paper (apa format) [10]

Due May 2, 2010 (instead of April 27)
I am not finish with this assignment. This is what I have so far.

Immunizations

Overview of the health problem
The current law allows pharmacies to administer shots to anyone at least 18 or older. All pharmacists will be required to complete a pharmacy-based immunization delivery training program, compete a three hour program on giving immunization every year, provide an information booklet on the vaccine to the patient, and provide a record of the vaccine to be given to the patient and the patient's doctor. All pharmacists should make sure that all vaccines are properly store. The pharmacists will be allowed to give epinephrine in the event of severe allergic reactions as a result of vaccinations. The bill will require the boards to evaluate influenza immunization protocols authorized by the bill. The bill will make it a crime if there is a violation under the Pharmacy Law. Under the bill, there would be new requirements for the Pharmacy Law. California Constitution mandates that the local agencies and school districts be given back money. With the bill, the state don't have to given the money back to the local agencies and school districts. Vaccines help protect us from getting diseases that could make us sick or even death. Many people should get vaccinations that could help protect them from diseases but not many people get vaccinated. Pharmacists handles situation where problems with vaccines occur. Physicians are vital in preventative measures for health care. To provide more access for people to get vaccines, the legislature want to give pharmacists permission to give influenza vaccines to people age 18 and over. Pharmacists would need approval from the Medical Board of California for people ages 18 and over to receive influenza vaccinations. All pharmacists would need to complete a mandated pharmacy-based immunization delivery training program from either the American Pharmacists Association's pharmacy-based immunization certificate training program or a different pharmacy-based immunization certificate training program from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention or Accreditation Council for the Pharmaceutical Education to be able to give vaccines to people. Failure to meet the requirement would result in having to take the pharmacy-based immunization certificate training program again along with a three hour education on immunization to be allow to administer shots to people. All vaccines given at the pharmacy should be keep on record along with a copy to be provided to the patients and their doctor.

Severity of the health problem
Vaccines prevent certain serious health problems from occurring. As with all medications, there are side effects in vaccines. Some ingredients in the vaccines could make people feel sick. Some people are unable to get shots because they may have an allergic reaction to the ingredient(s) in the vaccine. A person with a cold could still get vaccinated. If a person got sick after getting a shot, it is not recommended to get the same shot. According to Food and Drug Administration (2010), "vaccines undergo a rigorous review of laboratory and clinical data to ensure the safety, efficacy, purity and potency of these products" (para. 1). After any vaccines is administer to people, it is documented and monitored to ensure that there are no possible side effects. Vaccines are monitored to ensure that the vaccines that are administered to people are safe. If there are a lot of people complaining about the same reaction to their doctors about the same vaccine, than the vaccine may be withdrawn. If there is a problem with the vaccine, further research will be conducted. Also, there might be a change in recommendations on getting the shot, lowering the amount of using the vaccine, or not use it at all. According to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2010), "Years of testing are required by law before a vaccine can be licensed" (para. 1). After the vaccine is license, it is continually monitored for safety. Depending on the vaccines, it takes awhile for it to work. For example, a person went and got a flu shot. It takes about two weeks for the flu shot to work. During that time, the person could get sick. There are a lot of people who don't get vaccinated for numerous reasons. People think they would not need to be vaccinated for certain diseases thinking that it is alright since they are healthy so they don't get it. Some people who don't have insurance don't go to the hospital and get their shot because it might be costly for them to afford it. If a person is not vaccinated, it would increase his or her chance of getting the disease and spread it to others. When lots of people are getting vaccinated, it would reduce the number of cases associated with the diseases. Some parents fear that their children could be diagnose with autism after getting a shot. According to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2010), "evidence from several studies examining trends in vaccine use and changes in autism frequency does not support such an association" (para. 2). There is no known link between vaccine and autism.

Overview of the bill and Stakeholders
The name of the bill is Pharmacists: immunization protocols. The bill number is AB 977. The author of the bill is Skinner. Pharmacists are allow to administer vaccines to adults. Before pharmacists could administer vaccines, they would have to completed a pharmacy-based immunization delivery training program from American Pharmacists Association's pharmacy-based immunization certificate training program or a pharmacy-based immunization certificate training program from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention or Accreditation Council for the Pharmaceutical Education. If the pharmacists fail to meet the requirement, they would have to complete the pharmacy-based immunization delivery training program again and a three hour education on vaccines to be able to administer vaccines. Each year, pharmacists are require to complete a three hour education on vaccines. Pharmacists would have to provide a booklet on the vaccines to be given to the patient and a vaccine record to be given to the patient and doctor. All vaccines should be properly store. If a patient is having an allergic reaction, a pharmacist can administer epinephrine to the patient. Prior to administering vaccines to people, pharmacists would need to have the Medical Board of California's permission to administer vaccines. The people of California will be affected by the bill. People could have their shots taken while waiting for the prescribe medications. Currently, the bill has been approved by the Assembly and is waiting for the Senate to approve the bill.

Recommendation
Laws are created to ensure that everyone is safe and protected. Pharmacists should be train before administering vaccines to people. Pharmacists should get an idea of the person's health by asking questions like if they have any known allergies, provide information on the vaccine to the person and know the amount of doses to administer to people before administer it. I think that the pharmacists should not be allow to administer vaccines to people even though they have vase knowledge on drugs. Although, getting the vaccine from a pharmacy would kill some time while waiting for medications. I think that the vaccines should only be provided by a medical professional since it function on the primary health care. If the person gets an allergic reaction to the vaccine, he or she could get treated faster. Not getting vaccinated is a determinant for an increase risk of getting a disease and spreading it to other people.

Research Papers / Writing an Abstract, Introduction, Methods, Results, Discussion (APA format) [7]

i have start writing my introduction but i don't think it's very good.

Lighting is important in any environment, even in the learning environment. There is a possibility that different lighting in a classroom can affect the students attention span during lectures. Different lighting in a classroom will test how long the students can pay attention to the lectures. Depending on the lighting, the students may or may not want to pay attention to the lectures. If the students can't pay attention to the lectures, they would miss out on important information. Depending on the lighting, the students may or may not be able to see what they are writing when they are taking notes. If the lighting is too dark, the students might end up falling asleep and miss out on the lecture. This study attempts to demonstrate that different light setting have an effect on attention and memory. Different light setting affect on how people can achieve on a given tasks. For example, how long it would take for someone to complete a math problem. Different light settings changes a person's mood. A person's age could be affected in different light setting.

Different lighting affects the individual's performance on tasks. In Effects of noise, heat and lighting on cognitive performance, Hygge, S. and Knes, I (2001) were interested in how noise, heat and lighting would affect cognitive performance. It was hypothized that the noise, heat and lighting on could combine and interact in effecting the participants performances on tasks. The study has three indepentent variables, heat, light, and noise with attention and short term recall as the dependt variables. The study concluded that the noise and light had a affect on the cognitive performance. In Effects of indoor lighting, gender, and age on mood and cognitive performance, Knez, I and Kers, C. (2000) were interested if indoor lighting would have any affect on mood and cognitive performance. The study has one independent variable, level of lights, with cognitive tasks as teh depend variable. The study concluded that different lighting may be perceive differently for younger and older particpants.

Previous research shosws that the levels of lights would have an affect on the cognivitive performance. I predicted that in the semi-light setting, students would still be able to focus on the task and the light setting would be the same. The study focused on two groups, full lighting and semi-lighting. The study used different groups of people to compare the effect the amount of lighting would have on the cognitive performance. The purpose of the study was to show that different light setting have an effect on the cognitive performance.

Research Papers / Writing an Abstract, Introduction, Methods, Results, Discussion (APA format) [7]

I have finally finish up the results section.

Results
The results of the experiment does not support the hypothesis that the students in the dim lighting setting could still pay attention. The experiment was conducted in a seminar classroom using a between group design where the two groups have different participants. The independent variable focuses on the brightness of the lights in the seminar classroom. The dependent variable focuses on the participants cognitive performances on short term recall and attention. The majority of the participants were females. The class range from freshman to senior. The two independent t-test was conducted to test the difference between two groups. The homegeneity of variance was not met for the short term recall, F=8.320, P=.008 and the attention scores were met, F=.682, P=.416.

The results for the short term recall in lighting (M=8.77, SD=3.468) and dim lighting (M=9.81, SD=2.040) did not have a significantly lower scare. The attention score in the lighting (M=46.77, SD=5.150) and dim lighting (M=49.44, SD=3.444).

Research Papers / Writing an Abstract, Introduction, Methods, Results, Discussion (APA format) [7]

I have finally finish up the methods section.

Method
Participants
A total of 30 participants (25 females, five males) who are enrolled in Introductory Psychology and Physiological Psychology receive class credit for their participation at California State University, Northridge. There were 18 freshmen, seven sophomores, two juniors, and three seniors. The time preference for the participants is that 14 prefer the morning, 15 prefer the evening, and one didn't respond to the question. The average sleep hours for all participants is about six hours.

Materials and Procedures
A total of 15 random words were typed and printed on paper. The researchers show all of the participants the 15 words by holding the paper and moving it from left to right and right to left. The 15 words were randomly pick from a dictionary. The participants were given 15 seconds to memorize all 15 words. The 15 random words were were shown one by one. After all 15 random words were shown, the participants were given five minutes to write down as many words they can remember. A total of two sheets containing five random letters and one sheet containing four random letters where all the participants are given three minutes to find the random letters. The four and five random letters were written on top left counter of the paper. Below of the four and five random letters are a bunch of random letters to see how many times the participants could find the letters that are written on the top left counter of the paper. The design of the experiment is a between group. The between group is were two groups have different participants who does the same assign tasks. The independent variable is the brightness of the lights. The dependent variable is the cognitive performance. The experiment was done in a seminar classroom. In group one, the participants are expose to the lighting. In group two, the participants are expose to dim lighting in which half of the room was dark and the other half was light. Both groups were run on the same day. Group one was at 10:00am and group two was at 10:15am. Upon entering the seminar classroom, the researchers told the participants to seat themselves at the tables. The researchers inform the participants that the first task was to try to remember 15 random words and will be ask to write them down. Immediately after the last random word was shown, the participants were told to write down as many words they could remember. The papers were collected. The researchers inform the participants that the second task was to find the four and five random letters that were located on the top left counter of the page to see how many of those random letters they could find.

Writing Feedback / Writing a Public Health Policy Analysis paper (apa format) [10]

i wanted to write something about foods and obesity. there wasn't a bill on it.

the professor says that i can write about that pharmacies giving flu shots (AB 977).

i having trouble with "Severity of the health problem", "Overview of the bill and Stakeholders", and "Problems" part of the essay. (I am writing like whatever to it right now to limit the amount of work later.) Any suggestions?

Writing Feedback / Writing a Public Health Policy Analysis paper (apa format) [10]

Due: April 27, 2010
i have to change the topic since the teacher say not to write about anything complex.

my current topic (i email my teacher but he still haven't respond to my email yet) is on pharmacies giving flu shots (AB 977).

i having trouble with "Severity of the health problem", "Overview of the bill and Stakeholders", and "Problems" part of the essay. (I am writing like whatever to it right now to limit the amount of work later.) Any suggestions?

Writing Feedback / Writing a Public Health Policy Analysis paper (apa format) [10]

I am planning to write about Health Care Coverage (AB 1541). I am having a tough time trying to start the "Overview of the health problem" and "Severity of the health problem" part of the assignment. Any suggestions?

Writing Feedback / Does having a lot of options make people happy? [7]

Does having a lot of options make people happy? Now that's what I call a good question? . (why is there a question mark? i don't think you really need a question mark.) It would be hard to me to answer it! But it actually depends on the type of people. oh, ok. when i read that i was like what do you actually mean here? it just seems odd that sentence is here. hard to answer to types of people don't really flow. write something else.Some enjoy a variety of options, while others don't. (it doesn't sound right to me.)I met three people , Krystal, Beth, and Elizabeth, and each one will answer the readers question in three different ways! (what are you actually trying to say here? how many questions did you ask them? "three different ways" is very confusing to me. after reading this sentence, i was wondering what you are talking about.)


you could expend on this. what options is she taking about? the first sentence, make it into two sentences. it would sound better rather then having a bunch of stuff into one long sentence. the last sentence, how would you know that new stuff makes her not bored? what made you come to this conclusion?


i don't think you would need the "(from slums to business men)". i think people is enough. could use a few more sentences on that.


oh, ok. again, what are you trying to do here? it doesn't sound like you are making your final thoughts.

as if it is good for a ten grader, i don't know. everyone has their own writing style. my suggestion after reading this essay is to expend more on your body paragraphs.

Undergraduate / Law School Admissions (the Florida A&M University College of Law) [3]

I had been employed by my father for 7 consecutive years with my father' s' electrical contracting company, and learned that there is power behind perseverance.

Life as I knew it had changed forever. I had become my father' s' new partner; my mother was no longer able to work and lost a large part of her motor skills.

Before I was able to afford re-enrollment, my mother suffered another severe stroke, and I have to (sounds better to me)I moved to Orlando, Florida to be with my family.

I am , ready to take on whatever challenges are put before me.

comments: it's a good essay. after reading your essay, i could tell what kind of a person you are as someone who wants to succeed in life.

Undergraduate / Besides work, how did you spend your last summer? NYU Transfer short essays [3]

Prior to interning in a modernized(i don't think you would need that word.) Shanghai, I spent a few weeks visiting relatives in a familiar , quaint village in rural China. I experienced a vastly different self-sustainable culture where mornings consisted of picking up fresh milk from the local bakery and learning the authentic wayhow to cook Chinese food. In the afternoons , I would help tend to my grandmother's precious vegetable patches, and teach my cousins Bb asic English.

Undergraduate / Career goals essay (Office Administration course) [3]

something for you to think about when writing this essay, what are your career goals?, how are you going to obtain your career? for example, going to school and getting a degree and getting the job you want, how will your experience help you in the job you want?, how did you become interested in the career?.

once you have think about your career goals, the paper will be easy to write.

Undergraduate / MATLAB to model, regarding graduate admission essay [5]

after reading that sentence, i though about engineering stuff. i assume that is where you are going in to.

as for the sentence, i don't think there is any errors in it. i am going to assume that you are going to write something before that sentence.

Graduate / TO WORK AS AN STRUCTURAL ENGINEER [4]

google structural construction field universities
if you don't have a degree in it, you will need to get one.
if you have a college in mind, search that field on the site.
i don't think your age would be an issue.

Undergraduate / Match with my educational goals (Seattle University) [4]

Seattle University is a respected university and the graduates are taught how to learn, not just to receive a degree. (might want to rewrite this. it's not a good first sentence)Ultrasound technicians that I have talked to say that Seattle University graduates are respected in the field and are hired before other technicians. (i don't see how this part will help you in your educational goals.)I want to be a knowledgeable and respected member of the community. (i think this part is really unnecessary.) I desire to advance my education by obtaining a baccalaureate degree. After graduating from SU, I will be the first in my family to gain a baccalaureate degree. With a baccalaureate degree, I will have many options available to me in my career as a Diagnostic Medical Sonographer.

comments: after reading it, i think you should rewrite the entire essay. it doesn't seem to address the topic. it feels more like you have written it at the last minute. how will seattle university help you in your educational goals?

Writing Feedback / Computers and operation systems - My introduction [5]

As computers are becoming an increasingly vital need today (this part sounds really weird.) , companies are competing abouton releasing different operating systems.

comments: are you talking about all the operating systems or just mainly talking about Mac OS X? it is unclear on what you are referring to. it feels like you are just going from one thing to another.

Essays / Cause and effect of financial essay, brainstorm [4]

just my ideas,
children: they need someone to take care of them.
savings: some people might used up their savings on shopping (shopping addiction)

Grammar, Usage / English sentence, does this make sense? [10]

you can' t talk s (is that one word? why is that s there?) to my face or have the audacity to put your name on here.

Undergraduate / Describe a person who has had an influence in you (my tuition teacher) [5]

There are people out there, academically weak. (i don't think this sentence should be there.) I am sure I can be the one who made a difference in their life. Its my passion and desire to give back to the community of what I have gained from them. what have you gain? maybe you can like talk about that?Thank you Mrs Malika for being there for me. (i don't think this sentence should be there.)

Undergraduate / "definition of art", Statement of Purpose for transfer art student [3]

(...) I know we all have our own interpretation of the term, but what is the dictionary definition? (...)

(...) I love the fact that using one of the most useful items today, the computer, and knowledge of art and design, you can create some of the interesting pieces of work.

Through my years of interest in graphic design, I have had experiences that I feel give me a slight edge. In my spring semester at Orange County Community College, I participated in two internships; one with artist, Judith Hraniotis and one with the art department at Orange County Community College to assist with the spring art show, Input Output. Participating in these internships really taught me what it would be like to work in the industry. My work with Judith was to create a website for her. This was a bit challenging but very fun. We met several times to talk about the website and its progress and what she liked and disliked about it. The internship with the art department was also interesting. It gave me a look at what goes on 'behind the scenes.' I was to help matte the artwork and assist in setting up the actual show.

Not only did I participate in internships but I was also in a competition with my friend. Through the club, Future Business Leaders of America, we participated in the web development competition. We took first place on the state level of the competition and qualified to go to nationals. The competition was very official that it was it'slike more of a business club so we learned how to act in a professional manner. This sentence sounds a bit weird to me so I try to change it.

I have many creative interests when making art. Depending on the type of art making, I have different styles. When creating work just for fun, like image blends, I like to use bright colors and the use of well-known people or objects. I guess you can say that my leisure work is a sense of pop art and well-composed materialism. For example, I created a tour poster for a singer, known as Lights(I don't think you really need to capitalize lights.) , which was one of three that was chosen to be featured on her website.

I also like to create art that mixes simplicity with intricacy. I think that having a really create piece mixed with something simple allows the piece to stand as a well rounded whole.

I plan to continue on with my education in graphic design and I feel SUNY New Paltz will be the best thing to assist in my growing knowledge. It will allow me to learn new things and help develop my creative process. I have learned a lot so far and I know there is so much more to learn. Although my education will never rest, when I complete my schooling, I hope to obtain a job in the graphic design field. I feel like I could be a great asset to a future company.

Writing Feedback / "Preventing Herpes" - Current Issue in Public Health using an article about health problem [9]

i change it a little bit. some of my friends told me that it was ok and others say it was demanding. what do you do think?

Writing Feedback / "Preventing Herpes" - Current Issue in Public Health using an article about health problem [9]

in the article I read, it uses both African American and black women.?

different types of herpes? stick it where?

Undergraduate / Need help in proofreading my essay to enter a fashion school. [3]

... and some Jimmy Choo black stilettos heels, carr ing a Louis Vuitton bag and wearing some Channel glasses. It took me four years to complete my business degree from San Diego State University.

I have always had a strong desire in fashion and great interest in business. Incorporating both my fashion obsession into my added business degree and experience has been one of the most exited ideas I ever had.

Undergraduate / I'm a very outspoken person; About myself-Present and future goals [6]

Comment: After reading your essay, I don't really get the feel that you are stating what your present and future goals are. I think you don't really need to write about the school you want to go to. They want to know about you, not the school. I feel that you are just writing everything down.

Undergraduate / How to start a Letter of Appeal (so that it's not over dramatic)? [10]

something like state the reason on why you are writing an appeal letter, write about your personal hardship that you are going through and how it affect on your academic record.

Essays / The ending of an Essay on Myself [5]

i don't know what you have written so far.
i am only guessing for the ending, you can write about something about the present like what you have accomplish, what you have learn, summarize the main points of your essay.

Writing Feedback / "Preventing Herpes" - Current Issue in Public Health using an article about health problem [9]

This is my second article using the same above directions.
Due: March 23

Preventing Herpes

The title of the article is Herpes Infects One in Six in U.S. and was published in
businessweek.com/lifestyle/content/healthday/636845.html
on March 9, 2010.

Herpes is one of most common sexually transmitted disease that is not curable and could affect one of every six Americans. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 19 million people will be diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease and most will be in the younger age group. Women are almost two times more likely to be infected than men. About 39.2% of African Americans live with herpes which is more than the 12.3% of Whites living with herpes. In particular black women have the highest rate of infection at 48%. People diagnosed with herpes are more likely to get HIV's than those who are not infected with it. The rate of herpes infection increases with age where the age group of 14-19 years old has a 1.4% infection rate compared to those who are in the group of 40-49 years old which has a 26.1% infection rate. This shows that once an individual has it, they will never be able to get rid of it. It also depends on the number of sex partners the person has. Those who only have one partner will only have about a 4% chance of contracting herpes compared to 27% for those who have more than ten partners. At least 80% of people who have it have no idea they have it, since herpes don't really have symptoms, or it could be misdiagnosed as something else and could be spread to their partners. At this time there is no vaccines to cure herpes so there needs to be something to help stop the spread of herpes. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggests that people don't have sex during an outbreak of herpes, use condoms and don't have lots of partners. U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggests that those who are at high risk for an infection, have many sexual partners, and those who are HIV positive individuals might want to be screened for herpes. However young women don't want to be screened for any type of sexually transmitted disease.

The severity of herpes is considerable in the sense that there is no cure and only medication to help relieve symptoms. Herpes affect those who come into contact with a person who already has it. Those who have already been diagnosed with herpes would be twice as likely to get HIV and pass it onto other people. For people who have suppressed immune systems such as those infected with HIV herpes can cause severe problems. About 80% of the people don't know they already have it. Women are more likely to be infected with herpes and other types of sexually transmitted disease than men. Although it is most commonly transmitted during outbreaks, individuals could get herpes even if there is no outbreaks.

The public health agencies that are involved are U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC's National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD and TB Prevention, CDC's Epidemic Intelligence Service, and CDC's division of STD prevention. U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is a U.S. federal agency in the Department of Health and Human Services that provides information to everyone in helping people make better health choices. The CDC's National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD and TB Prevention is part of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention which focuses on public health and safety by controlling and preventing STDs. CDC's Epidemic Intelligence Service is part of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention which is a 2 year program that trains professionals in the field of epidemiology. CDC's division of STD prevention is part of the National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD and TB Prevention provide information and research on sexually transmitted diseases.

The public health interventions that was discussed in the article is prevention of the spread of herpes. Herpes is a virus that can't be cured and there are only medicines to relieve the symptoms and slow the spreading spreading. Herpes can be passed from one person to another. According to the class lecture, a virus can only be transmitted, an infected cell could replicate only on living cells and there isn't any cures but only relief through antiviral medicines. The preventive measure of herpes is screening for virus and safe sex practices. High risk people should be screened for herpes. Examples of safe sex practices include not having lots of sex partners and use condoms. According to the textbook, the treatment for the virus involves limiting the impact of the virus itself. Also, rehabilitation is the last step of intervention that helps the individual return to their normal state of health.

My recommendations for further action on herpes are individuals should be tested if they are sexually active, not spread sexually transmitted diseases, and know the signs and symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases. Preventing the spread of herpes would help reduce the amount of people getting sexually transmitted diseases. It relates to the textbook for the primary level by reducing the exposure of the disease, secondary level by knowing what sexually transmitted diseases are and knowing what to look for, and tertiary level by using treatments to help the individuals in need. There are people who know that they have the disease, those who don't know they have the disease, and preventing the disease from occurring. Before engaging in any sexual activity, the individual should tell his or her partner about their sexual history and health.

Writing Feedback / "Preventing Herpes" - Current Issue in Public Health using an article about health problem [9]

EF_Kevin
will i was following what the article, sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/02/100222121622.htm says. i was suppose to summarize the entire article as part of the assignment. i get what you are saying. that's what i was suppose to do. i don't want to use words that was in the article.

Undergraduate / Embracing Adversity as a First Generation American- Transfer Optional Essay [4]

Being the only daughter of three siblingschildren (it sounds better) - fifteen years younger than my eldest brother and born after my parents immigrated to the United States - it was somewhat inevitable that I would be raised in a cocoon of Guyanese culture.

Book Reports / Olive Kitteridge semester paper thesis. [4]

I don't think you would need to use quotes on acts and changes.

so far it seems ok.

Speeches / Step by step guide to prepare a speech [6]

I don't think that the last paragraph goes well with the rest of your essay. It feels like it was just put in there. The last paragraph should summarize your entire essay or answer those questions that you have in the first paragraph.

Undergraduate / "environment design", Cornell transfer- reasons for transferring and objectives [3]

Where would be my ideal college? I began to think about this question after a semester in my current university. Attending a university away from my family, I have learnt much and experienced many new things: I benefited most from growing independent and becoming strong. I have learnt how to cook, how to do housework, how to manage money, and how to deal with people and matters by myself. Additionally, I have made many friends and joined activities ranging from sports to volunteer. However, I still felt something was lacking, and I had to find the perfect place for me. Reading through the website of Cornell University, I got the answer: what I was seeking is a challenging and competitive learning community, and Cornell would be my ideal place to study.

Two "any"s( any person, any study) and three "open"s( open doors, open hearts and open minds) have impressed me extremely. These five words represent Cornell's commitment to diversity and inclusiveness and the policy of providing endless academic choices. I hold high respect on this. I think Cornell community is really diverse academically and personally. Living and learning in such a community would surely help me grow mature in both personality and learning. I would be proud to become one of them and contribute to it through my aspiration for learning and my unique background of having lived in two countries. Furthermore, the special academic programs of " Co-Operative Research" and " Honors Program"ofin the School of Civil and Environmental Engineering are very challenging for me. They not only stimulate a competitive and motivated atmosphere of learning but also offer students opportunities to combine theory with practice. I love this inspiring environment, which fits my eagerness for knowledge and experience.

Taking a position in government to charge with environment design is my career goal. In my college years, I plan first to enroll rigorous and balanced courses to get background in science and engineering and then engage in hands-on design projects and case studies that provide context and motivation. Since I take a keen interest in solving drinking water problems, I will try to get involved in related projects.

I have decided on Cornell as the next stop of my learning journey. I am confident
that Cornell would educate me into a leading engineer for tomorrow. If admitted I would take greatest advantage of the resources at Cornell and try to become a respected alumni years later.

Comment: I think it's good. Just a few misspell words. I don't think you would need to use quotes for Co-Operative Research and Honors Program.

Undergraduate / "a better insight into life at BU" - any other ideas? [8]

I had to be part of the BU community. After thoroughly exploring the school's website and keeping in contact with the admissions office, I learnt that BU was the right fit for me.

comment: I don't think you will stand out among all the other students who are planning to attend there. It's a good essay. I think you should reedit it as it is not within the 5-6 sentences limit.

"After thoroughly exploring the school's website and keeping in contact with the admissions office, I learn[i]t that BU was the right fit for me.[/i]"

What were you looking at? Programs the school offer? Might want to explain more.

Essays / How to write an essay on my goals for the school year / education importance [13]

what are you main goals for the upcoming year? what do you plan on doing that will be different? i how do you plan on passing your classes?

just some of the questions you can ask yourself.

Research Papers / Title, introduction, method, results - writing a Research Proposal in APA Format [5]

oh, ok thanks.
the methods has to like match what my group is doing.