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Posts by whitney
Joined: Nov 5, 2010
Last Post: Oct 27, 2011
Threads: 21
Posts: 38  

From: China

Displayed posts: 59 / page 1 of 2
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whitney   
Oct 27, 2011
Writing Feedback / European people spent most on the basic needs like food, drinks and tobacco [NEW]

Hello. Please help me check whether emphasized words and underlined phrases and sentences are written in proper ways. Thank you.

consumer expenditure by category in five countries

Food, drinks, and tobacco Clothing and footwear Leisure and education
Ireland 28.91 6.43 2.21
Italy 16.36 9 3.20
Spain 18.80
Sweden 15.77 5.40 3.22
Turkey 32.14 4.35

This table compares the proportion of consumer expenditure by category in five countries, including Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden, and Turkey, within one-year period of 2002.

As can be seen from it, food drinks, and tobacco accounted for the largest percentage in every researched country, with clothing-footwear item taking up lower percentage and leisure-education making up the lowest.

It is clear that, compared with other nations; Turkey had the highest proportion by two categories with 32.14% in food-drinks-tobacco and 4.35% in leisure-education. Besides, its clothing-footwear expenditure was the second highest among all the listed ones in this class.

Ireland's food-drinks-tobacco spending ranking as number two took up as much as 28.91%, sharply higher than that of the number three, Spain, which was 18.80% in this year. Except for Ireland's second highest food-drink-tobacco expenditure rate, its clothing-footwear percentage accounted for 6.43%, slightly lower than that of Turkey. However, this nation's leisure-education cost rate was as low as 2.21%, which was the second lowest among all in this class.

Italy, having the highest clothing-footwear percentage of 9%, took up 16.36% food-drinks-tobacco spending rate, and 3.20% proportion in leisure-education item.

Sweden took up the second highest leisure-education percentage, 3.22%, coupled with 15.77%, lowest in food-drinks-tobacco, and 5.40%, lowest in clothing-footwear among all these nations.

To summarize, people in each nation spent most in the basic needs like food, drinks and tobacco, less in the basic needs such as clothes and footwear, and least in advanced spending including leisure and education.
whitney   
Oct 27, 2011
Graduate / "Advancement in Computer Science" - SoP for Masters in CS - Feedback [3]

your grammar and vocabulary are both very excellent, but i think you may change one of the words in the following sentence with a more advanced one. just my advice. because your english is better than me, you can just consider about changing or not.

I want to be a part of the catalytic force, bringing about a positive change in today'snowaday society.

if your point is good, i recommend you to fix the following sentence in this way.
I have performed consistently in my coursework as an undergraduate student with anexcellent cumulative grade point average (CGPA) of "CGPA" . and mention your exact point here.

I made use of the ncurses? programming library to build an interactive text editor.
whitney   
Oct 24, 2011
Graduate / Teacher changing careers to physical therapy-- PT application essay [2]

After earning my bachelor of science in physical education and a minor in health I started my first job as a K through 5th grade health education teacher.

what is a K?

My past and current experiences, as well as my character traits are what motivated me to pursue the profession of physical therapy.

Although, I thoroughly enjoyed having a classroom of students , it was during this time that I realized that I could make the most impact one individual at a time; as I did with my student, Jamie.

I wanted something that allowed me to help people, one-on-one, working with the body, and that allowed me to use my motivational skills.

or

I wanted something that allowed me to help people, one-on-one,and work with the body, and that allowed me to use my motivational skills.


Considering my past experiences I started researching possible professions that met my desired criteria. Physical therapy quickly rose to the top of my list. I started talking with individuals who either were related to a physical therapist and/ or had been treated by one.

I want to be in a profession like physical therapy that allows me to work individually or in small groups with children and adults to help them achieve the samesimilar successes.

I am an excellent listener, a patient, caring, andan understanding individual.

As I talked with one of the physical therapists I observed, he told me that youI/therapists often have to "get inside" the patients head to help them out.

For exampleinstance(you have used example once) , while I was observing him he was working with a patient who was not trying very hard with his exercises.

By talking with the patient and listening to what he had to saysaid the physical therapist was able to help him reach his treatment goals.

your writting skill is very good. my advices above are about grammar, and i hope you can help me with my vocabulary.
by the way, you need more complexed sentence i think.
for example He used his professional expertise along with an interpersonal touch to the situation. Thiswhich made me recognize that my ability to listen will be valuable as a physical therapist.

good luck. i am also applying for graduate school. i hope we can help each other,
whitney   
Jul 27, 2011
Grammar, Usage / How to say the head of Chinese Department, Institution of Humanity and Law / FDI Investment [6]

Please help me with this problem: how to say the head of Chinese Department, Institution of Humanity and Law, Hebei University of Technology

whether sentences below are ok?

Head, Chinese Department, Institution of Humanity and Law, Hebei University of Technology
Hebei University of Technology, Institution of Humanity and Law, Chinese Department head
Chinese Department, Institution of Humanity and Law, Hebei University of Technology head
whitney   
Jun 22, 2011
Writing Feedback / New viewpoints, motivation, enthusiasm and concectration are needed in early education of a child [8]

In some schools art, music,and drama are as a part of every child's basic education ,while in others they are not. I hold that art, music,and drama are as important as subjects like mathematic, philosophy, and language. There are three reasons I would like to name.

Firstly,arts, music and drama learning is good for students' personal development. It is closely linked to academic achievement that parents want for their children, because involvement in the arts is associated with gains in math, reading, cognitive ability, critical thinking, and verbal skill. Besides, arts, music and drama learning is linked to children's social and emotional development. Actually, the intrinsic pleasures and stimulation of the art experience do more than sweeten an individual's life. Arts learning can improve motivation, concentration, confidence, and teamwork.It can connect people more deeply to the world and open them to new ways of seeing,creating the foundation to forge social bonds and community cohesion.

Secondly, strong arts programming in schools helps close a gap that has left many a child behind. From Mozart for babies to tutus for toddlers to family trips to the museum, the children of affluent, aspiring parents generally get exposed to the arts whether or not public schools provide them. Low-income children, often, do not. Arts education enables those children from a financially challenged background to have a more level playing field with children who have had those enrichment experiences.

Thirdly, it is time to make art, music, and drama as part of what all schools should teach, for arts education has been slipping for several decades, which will make the nation impoverished in immeasurable ways. Education focusing on reading and math, with pressure to raise test scores, has reduced classroom time devoted to the arts. The result of tight budgets, an ever-growing list of state mandates have crammed the classroom curriculum. And public widely view that the arts are lovely but not essential.

In summary, making art, music, and drama as part of every child's education will be helpful for children's personal development, will narrow the gap between low-income children and children with enrichment experiences, and will, in some degree, change the reality that arts education is slipping.
whitney   
Jun 9, 2011
Graduate / Applied Program:Chinese Linguistics and Language Acquisition [2]

requirment from the program:submit a written statement expalining the purpose of their application and the focus of their academic interests.

I am a junior student at Hebei University of Technology in China. I major in the teaching of Chinese as a foreign language, and I am very interested in applying for your program of Chinese Linguistics and Language Acquisition.

I am interested in Chinese dialects and eager to deepen my comprehension of some of them, so that I can be a better language teacher. I am also particularly interested in Cantonese and its similarity to ancient Chinese. I believe that Cantonese is the most direct descendant of ancient Chinese.

My main motivation for applying to your university is its outstanding reputation, which I learned of from a post doctoral studying in the Chinese Paleography there. The reason I want to be admitted to the program of Chinese Linguistics and Language Acquisition, are my interests in Chinese and the growing global demand for the learning of Chinese as a foreign language. Besides, studying in Hong Kong may provide me more chances to communicate with many foreigners. Thus I can gain insight into different cultures, and reduce cultural misunderstanding in the cross-cultural communication. The experience will be important and necessary for my major.

In the past three years, I have studied the following courses and achieved excellent academic results: Introduction to Linguistics, Applied Linguistics, Chinese Language Phonetics, Chinese Lexicology, Contemporary Chinese Language and Ancient Chinese.Those courses are closely related to Chinese Linguistics and Language Acquisition, which lay a good foundation for furthering my study in your university. However, I have not aquire all the knowledge I want. Say the acquisition of first language. Even though I learned some simple theory about it in the course of General Theory of Chinese Teaching to Foreigners and the Acquisition of Second Language, I seriously feel that I need to learn more .Your program can help me make up for these shortages. Thus, I need your course of Foundations in Language Acquisition to learn the acquisition of first language specifically.

In addition, I did not get to do as much field work as part of my undergraduate degree as I would have liked. I am particularly interested in mastering the methodologies for research in linguistics. The course in linguistics research will help me do that and help me to evaluate the work of other scholars. I also would like to take the course of Research Project. My research proposal for this course is to collect Cantonese vocabulary that is used in Mandarin, and Mandarin learners in Hong Kong can just speak these words directly only by transforming the pronunciation. Surely, your institution's position in Hong Kong may give me a favor to do it.

I sincerely desire to study at your University because of its prestigious academic atmosphere. Further study of Chinese Linguistics and Language Acquisition in such an advanced educational environment and in such a beautiful city is my dream.

Yours truly,

Yang Na
whitney   
May 23, 2011
Graduate / "program of Chinese Linguistics and Language Acquisition" - personal statement [3]

To whom it may concern:

I develop my ambition to become a teacher when my English teacher had a sore throat, and she always chose me to give lecture to the class. At the very beginning, I was extremely nervous but then I got used to it and began to love to be a teacher. Besides, the appreciation of teachers and classmates deepened my confidence that I could become an excellent teacher. Thus, I major in the teaching of Chinese as a foreign language as an undergraduate and decide to further it in graduate school.

I started to consider going to graduate school in your university because of a lecture I once had. When I was in undergraduate Grade Two , a post-doctoral studying in the Chinese Paleography in your university came to my university to give lecture and he talked something about your university. He praised your university to do everything for students and staff's development. He said in mainland China it is very difficult to read some valuable books, but in your university people can use library books freely, and he have borrowed a book from the library for a very long time but no people ask him to return. Besides, studying in Hong Kong may provide me chances to get touch to foreigners. Because the most common problem Chinese teacher may encounter with foreign students is cultural misunderstanding. Even tough I have learned courses of Western Civilization and Western Etiquette, and knowledge of cross-cultural communication in the course of General Theory of Chinese Teaching to Foreigners. I think experience is most important and necessary.

But your program of Chinese Linguistics and Language Acquisition makes me finally decide to apply for your university. I have three reasons for wanting to be admitted to the graduate program at your university:

First, I believe that I may be good at your program because I have relating study and experience to the courses you offer. Firstly, my undergraduate courses relating to some of your courses like Phonetics and Phonology, Topics in Second Language Acquisition, Topics in Bilingualism, Topics in Chinese Phonetics and Phonology, Topics in Chinese Syntax and Semantics, and Teaching Chinese as a Second Language. Secondly, I have done two linguistics researches in undergraduate courses of Contemporary Chinese and the Introduction to Linguistics, which may prepare me to have your courses of Linguistics Research. Also, because in Applied Linguistics and the Selected Reading of Ancient Chinese Essays courses I have ever given classes, I think I have some experience to have Field Practicum in your program.

Second, your courses may deepen the knowledge I have gained as an undergraduate. I have studied something about the acquisition of first language in the course of General Theory of Chinese Teaching to Foreigners and the Acquisition of Second Language, but the knowledg is very limited and is only to compare with the acquisition of second language. Thus, I need your course of Foundations in Language Acquisition to learn the acquisition of first language specifically. Besides, as an undergraduate I have had a lecture focusing on linguistics research and have done two linguistics researches but your courses will help me to master the methodologies for research in linguistics.

Third, I have a research proposal for your course of Research Project. I plan to collect Cantonese vocabulary that used in Putonghua also and Putonghua learners in Hong Kong can just use these words directly in Putonghua only by transforming the pronunciation. Surly, your institution's position in Hong Kong may give me a favor to do it. And I will attach my research proposal to my file because I can hardly give a specific introduction of it here.

Thank you for your consideration.
whitney   
May 23, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniform [9]

might declined .i am not sure.

very excerlent. but i think in very beginning you may talk more about the situation of the hot debate. i mean give readers some better undertanding of the topic.
whitney   
May 22, 2011
Undergraduate / Theme for the Day for my college Nite. [7]

As far as im concerned Gala Nite , we can use this theme to celebrate any parties for celebritiesCELEBRITING .

whitney   
May 22, 2011
Book Reports / "The most dangerous game" - translate from Chinese to English. [6]

"the most dangerous game" was written in1924. The event described in the story took place shortly after the ending of world war and the happening of the October revolution in Russia. Zaroff is a Cossack general of the overthrown Czarist regime. He took a flight off Russian and then spent his all time hunting.

Richard Connell's "The most dangerous game" was a 1924 novel which involves the event that took place shortly after the end of the First World War and the October revolution in Russia. Zaroff, a Cossack general of the overthrown Czarist regime, took a flight off Russian and then spent his all time hunting.

Sanger Rainsford is a famous big creature hunter from America. He was fighting in France in the Second World War and published works relating to hunting. Despite of the differences of backgrounds and characteristics between Zaroff and Rainsford, they have very similar concepts concerning hunting. Rainsford holds that "world is consisted by hunters", and hunters do not need to concern about the feeling of hunted one. Zaroff strongly believes that life belongs to powerhouse.

As luck would have it, the two people countered on Zroff's island and hunted together. Rainsford , flattering himself and feeling quite different and superior to game, was in the position to be hunted this time. Within the three days of the dangerous game that Zroff played with him, Rinsford felt the feeling of hunted game-fear, the fear for pain, the fear for death. The game ended in the disastrous consequence of the flamer and Rinsford made him to pay for the debt he deserved.

After the three days' hardship, Rinsford's world view must have been changed. Because he knew the horror and desperation to be hunted, he would never hunt as before. The ending of the story reflects the belief of the author. Readers should look past the hunting for the meaning of the story to see the political and moral principle subjects of the novel.
whitney   
May 20, 2011
Undergraduate / "My major is to Teach Chinese as a Foreign Language" - Personal Statement [3]

Requirement: submit a written statement explaining the purpose of their application and the focus of their academic interests.

Applied Program: Chinese Linguistics and Language Acquisition

My undergraduate major is to Teach Chinese as a Foreign Language, which contains courses like Introduction to Linguistics, Applied Linguistics, Chinese Language Phonetics, Chinese Lexicology, Contemporary Chinese Language and Ancient Chinese.

One of my academic interests is Chinese dialects. I enjoy listening to people talking in dialects, wondering what they are talking about and happy for the parts I can understand, which is one of the most exiting things in my life. My favorite Chinese dialect is Cantonese. In the very beginning, I love it because I love Hong Kong movies and love to murmur the speech in them----only some words and short sentences. In the university, I have the course of Ancient Chinese and learned some ancient Chinese phonetics theories. It is surprising that I can thought up three to five examples from Cantonese for every theory I learned, thanks for my pretty tiny Cantonese knowledge. Thus, I deeply feel that Cantonese is the living fossil of ancient Chinese.

Another academic interest is to continue thinking up examples for the contemporary Chinese theories I am learning. The hobby opens a new way for me to understand and remember linguistics theories. Also, it fixes my shortage of having no dialects, because my standard Putonghua helps me to think up more examples more quickly than others.

I wish to enter the graduate program in Chinese Linguistics and Language Acquisition in your university, because of the following three reasons.

Firstly, it may advance me to teach Chinese as a foreign language which is my career ambition. Even though my undergraduate program now is teaching Chinese as A Foreign Language, the linguistics courses it offers are all taught in Chinese. When I am taking these courses, I am all too often wondering how to speak the items I encounter in English. Even though I am reading some linguistics publications written in English, most of them are only introductions to linguistics and I can hardly find books in certain specialized field, say phonetics and semantics and it is more difficult to find original vision of foreign scholars' works. I am deeply afraid that I cannot teach learners in early stages in English. Even though there are many other teaching methods, I would like to be able to teach in any method required in the future. Nevertheless, when I read the course list of your program, I am relieved because most of the linguistics courses I have taken in university will be taught in your program in English.

Secondly, in undergraduate study I have done Field Work of Linguistic Surveys in the course of Introduction of Linguistics and a dialect investigation in Contemporary Chinese Language. But none of the two courses were closely related to linguistics general research and analysis methodology. I plan to do research in the future research program so I pretty need this knowledge. And your courses of Linguistics Research and Research Project will help me to fix this shortage.

Thirdly, I apply for university in Hong Kong because I can acquire Cantonese there. I am preparing to apply for research program after the graduation from your program and the acquisition of Cantonese is very necessary for my research. Even though I can also refer to the language database and do investigation among the users of Cantonese, some knowledge of Cantonese will be necessary if I want to do research about it. Besides the intention to apply for research program, speaking Cantonese is my dream.

Based on the statements above, I seriously wish that I may be admitted to this program in your university.
whitney   
May 20, 2011
Writing Feedback / Stay-at-home parents should be paid by the government? [5]

I think that the first paragraph should talk about the problems or difficulties stay-at-home parents are facing, and then raise the topic that those stay-at-home parents should be paid.
whitney   
May 14, 2011
Writing Feedback / The Reasons and Results of Pollution [2]

Nowadays, pollution is one of the biggest concerns of both the public and different governments. The consequences of pollution caninfluence even destroy creatures' habitat and it cannot be changed for a long period of time and it may even be fatal.

Industrialization is causing pollution in a big degree. In the process of industrialization, ships, trains, automobiles, and airplanes emerged. Each of them consumes fossil fuels, which burn and release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. Meanwhile, industrialization means more factories that produce polluted water, air and other industrial waste to the environment.

Despite the efforts made by some unprofitable institutions, industrialists and governments' behaviors are more significant because ceasing pollution from the very beginning isthe most fundamental in order to prevent the degeneration of the environment. However, industrialists emphasize more on profit rather than the habitat of the people. Governments focus on the degree of urbanization and industrialization of regions, but they ignore the quality of people's life.

Citizens are also responsible for the pollution. They are unaware to conserve and protect their habitat. They need to do more for the catalogue of trash; they need to make full use of the public transportation, they should refuse to work for factories which will produce pollutions, and they should spare nosome effort to prevent governmentin introducing companies that would pollute the environment.

If industrialists, governments, and people do not do something to prevent the degeneration of the pollution, all creatures on the earth will be influenced.

Firstly, the pollution may make habitats unsuitable to live in anymore. Thus, animals and human beings will lose their habitats. Human beings may move to other habitats and they can get used to live there but some animals will extinct because of the loss of habitats. Secondly, people may have to drink unclear water and eat food produced from polluted earth if the water and ground are polluted.

To prevent pollution, citizens, governments and industrialists must take their own responsibility. With these efforts, we may have clearer water to drink, fresher air to breathe, and more balanced biological circles to live in.

Word Count: 259
whitney   
Jan 18, 2011
Writing Feedback / What features of restaurant I care most? [2]

toefl speaking

If I had to say what features of restaurant I cared most, I would consider from the following two angles.

For one reson, it should have delicious food. I eat outside because I wanna eat delicious food that I cannot make by myself. And eatting outside costs more than eatting at home , so I want a restaurant that can make food worth the money I pay.

For another reason, the atmosphere should be quiet and beutiful. I mean I choose the restaurant not only for the food but for the atmosphere it provides. I want a place with light music and beautiful decoration.

So that is what features I care for a restaurant.

One of the most important invention in the past 100 years, for me, is air plane.

First, it connects the far reaches in the world so we can go to other continent for holidy travel, study, and visiting relatives more conviniently. With out it,we have to spend much more time to get to other convinient. Obviously, planes make uor life more convininet.

Second, it makes the world as a unity. People can exchange both spirital and material stuff more quickly and more efficiently. Without it, we can not eat fruits from a distant country.

So because air plane makes our life more convinient and the world more connected, I think it is the most important invention in the past 100 years' history.
whitney   
Jan 18, 2011
Writing Feedback / An adventure (a Christmas party on December) [6]

Your grammer is quite ok but your story is lack of interet . I think you can make it more attracting. AND PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY ESSAYS.
whitney   
Jan 18, 2011
Writing Feedback / Book Room - toefl my favorite room [3]

My favorite room is my book room. It is a rectangular one with the dor on the left side of the south wall and a big window on the right side. Below the window is a desk and there is a chair facing the desk. A huge bookshelf is attached to the east wall. There is a round table in te center of the room. This room is very simple and I don't add any decoration to it because the only thing I want to do there is to think and communicate with people I respect, you know , the authors of the books.
whitney   
Jan 16, 2011
Undergraduate / "Business profession; In my Muslim community" - Transfer Admission Personal Essay [2]

Very excellent. But please avoid sayingthat you have ideal qualities, because i am afraid nobody can have ideal qualities. You need to show more objective opinios, so you need to talk about both your advantages and disadvantages so that the professor will think your comments are true. good luck. please help me with my essays. thank you,
whitney   
Jan 16, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: TRANSPORTION (subway is the most efficient and environmently friendly?) [3]

Among all the means of transportion in the city, I think that subway is the most efficient and environmently friendly one.

For one reason,it is more efficient than bus so that we can save the time to enjoy breakfast and to have a break after we get to the workplace and before we begin to work.Sometimes it also more efficient than cars. Because there is no traffic jam. You know, in beijing, the subway can always be quicker than cars, because there are so many cars in the city.

For another, it is good for the environment, in stead of polluted to it. So, you know, choosing subway in stead of buses and cars will help to improve the atmosphere , and we can breathe less particulate.

So subway is good for our life and our health.

There is NO NEED to repeat 'TOEFL SPEAKING' in every thread title.
whitney   
Jan 16, 2011
Graduate / Energy related course - Sop for MSc in Natural GAS Technology [8]

Thanks for ur help. I just try to make a draft. Of course, I can not recite it exactly, so when i am speaking i will add stops, words like you know and so on. I just want you to focus on my sentences, because i'm always afraid that i am not speaking natively enough. and i have fix the passage, please read it again. thank you.
whitney   
Jan 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL -AMBITION (to teach Chinese as a froeign language) [2]

My ambition is to be a teacher to teach Chinese as a froeign language because of the following reasons.

First, it is a chllenge for me and I can improve myself through the process. For example, teaching language cannot avoid talk about culture so I need to know the difference between Chinese culture and the culture foreign students come from.

Scond, I love to be a teacher. When I was young, I admire teachers a lot. Because they seem to know a lot of things and they are modles for students. At that time, I have determined to become a teacher to enjoy students' admiration and love.

Third, I love language a lot. And I like to communicate with foreign people about the differnce and connection between Chinese and other languages.

So that's why I want to be a teacher to teach Chinese as a foreign language.
whitney   
Jan 15, 2011
Undergraduate / "A Different Road" - Common App Essay [9]

It is great and I even can not find a single error. The story can aslo get readers' focus, but I am really sorry for your sister.
whitney   
Jan 15, 2011
Undergraduate / My Low Self-Esteem - experience UVM [4]

As I've pointed out the previuos time,there is errors with the tense. I think you need to continually work on this.
My life is in shambles or so I thought .
whitney   
Jan 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / Hard choice - neither between life and death nor between love and freedom, but between truth and lie [5]

Dear guys,I'm going to attend to a SAT exam soon and I really hope that you can help me with my SAT essay writing.Here is my practicing essay.Please give me some advice.By the way, I always don't know how to write a good ending. Can you guys give me a example? Appreciate a lot....

he will suffer from the torture of consciousness instead of the one from others. Perhaps one can earn famous during his or her life time, like Louis Pasteur, or he or she can be punished to die without understanding from other people.

Despite some errors, the essay is quite beautiful. I probably will try to recite it. My works are worse, and I think your comments will help me a lot. I hope that you can go to help with my essays, thank you.
whitney   
Jan 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL SPEAKING-The most embarrassing moment for me [5]

The most embarrassing moment that ever happened to me is that I ever got into a male restroom by accident. Because it was an exclusive restroom in a corporation, there were no signals. Facing the two restrooms, I did not know how to choose. Finally, I just got into the nearer one, and, you know, it was the wrong one. Yes, I used it. Because it had no difference with female room, I did not know I was wrong until I saw two women got into the next room when I got out of the room. When I saw them I felt extremely embarrassed. I knew they must have thought that there was something wrong with me. After all, it happened three years ago, and they did not know me, so letting it go is ok.
whitney   
Jan 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFLE SPEAKING-Most impressive event, Spring Festival China [3]

In China, the most impressive festival is Spring Festival.

On Spring Festival Eve, sons get back to their parents' houses with their sons and wives. Two activities are necessary for a family to celebrate Spring Festival Eve.

One is to making jiaozi. When making jiaozi, family members talk about events happened in the passing year to say goodbye to the passing year. And they will put coins in jiaozi secretly. They believe that people who get jiaozi with coins have good lucky in the coming year.

Another activity is to play firework. Ancient Chinese thought that big sound would frighten monsters away. Nowadays Chinese regard this activity as one of the most exiting and interesting moments they may share with family.

Without either of the two, Spring Festival cannot be perfect. Chinese people take family as the most important part in their lives, so they cherish Spring Festival, which provides them a chance to have family reunion.
whitney   
Dec 30, 2010
Writing Feedback / Jobs that you enjoy or jobs that you can earn a lot of money [2]

Some people choose to work at jobs that they enjoy while others choose to work at jobs that they can earn a lot of money. This difference depends on people's deferent ambitions. Some chase real interest while some chase money. As to me, even though money is very necessary, interest is one of the most important factors in happiness. Therefore, having the career I really enjoy is much more important than earning a lot of money.

To start with, doing things that really makes me interested will offer me the greatest passion so I will devote more time and energy to it to make more contributions. Only in the way, can I have the greatest personal satisfaction. My ambition is to become a teacher to teach Chinese as a foreign language. There are volunteers sent to foreign countries from China to teach Chinese every year. They can only earn several hundred dollars per month to support their basis lives. However, I would like to work at the job because I love linguistic and I want to be a teacher.

Furthermore, if people work hard, even though they cannot earn a lot of money they can still live a comfortable life. As for me, being a Chinese teacher means I will be poor in the very beginning but when I have accumulated enough work experience I can make enough money to live a comfortable life. As a Chinese teacher I need time to gain experience about how to teach with clarity and let students learn with interest. Also, teaching language cannot avoid talk about culture so I need time to know the difference between Chinese culture and the culture foreign students come from. After my experience is enough to be a skilled teacher I can earn more money, even not very much but enough for me, because there are more and more people want to learn Chinese and my career has a good prospect.

In conclusion, choosing a career I like means I cannot earn a lot money and I will be poor for a long period of time but if I work hard, I can earn still live a comfortable life. Doing thighs I love and live a comfortable life is much better than having a lot of money but not loveing the career.
whitney   
Dec 28, 2010
Undergraduate / Santa Clause-Somebody That Influenced Me a Lot [8]

Your idea in this essay is great but you need to talk more deeply. The society makes you unhappy but in the end you said "He's the jingle of coins whenever somebody gives spare change to the poor. He's alive in the waving man, Mel Hartman, and basically everyone as they go around making others happy". So you can write about the factor which can change the society.Probably you can write like this:

FEELING HOPELESS FOR THE GOVENMENT(you have written)
Santa Clauses MAKES YOU TO FIND NICE PEOPLE IN THE WOLD (you wrote but need to clarify)
PRESENT YOUR BELIEF THAT THE WORLD CAN BE BETTER BECAUSE OF THE NICE PEOPLE(you can write about your strong belief, what people can do to change the society and your ambition to be one of the Santa Clauses and so on)

May I can help you.
p.s.Thanks for your looking at my eaasay. Your suggestion is very helpful and I know my weakness is confusing readers but I am trying to fix it. You said I had better to focus on one example but I just want to list three cases when people may lie. And I added sentences following each example so that the eaxmples are all serving for the topic. I wish you can read it again.

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