Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: Advantages and disadvantages of sports. [8]

Hi All,

Please check my essay and suggest me about length of essay.

Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Who does not like sports? Everyone likes to play. Sport should be a part of everyone's life. Sports help you to stay healthy. Experts suggested that, we all should play or do exercise daily at least for half an hour to stay healthy. I think that children should also spend some time on sports but not all. Many young children spend their more time on sports only which is not good for them. All young children should participate in all activities equally and also learn to balance their routine.

First, starting with advantages of sports, playing sports makes us physically and mentally strong. It keeps us active, fit and healthy. Teamwork is the most important advantage of playing sports which can help us in our professional life. Playing is also fun and part of an entertainment. Playing sports increases our stamina and helps us in dealing with stress. All young children should play at least one sport. They should also learn to maintain their routine with sports which will help them to be disciplined in their life.

On the other hand, excess playing can be a disadvantage of sports. This will keep children away from all other activities like social gatherings, community activities, picnics and many others. This can also have a bad effect on their studies. Sometimes children might have to face physical injuries. I remember, our neighbor's young child he was a very good Ice Hockey player. He used to play a lot and one day he met with an accident and now he cannot even walk. All treatments tried but didn't work. So, sometimes we may have to face such injuries which cannot be treated.

Finally, if we all maintain our routine then we can keep ourselves away from all disadvantages. I believe that, playing sports play a vital role in everyone's lives so not only young children but we all should spend some amount of time in playing.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: Compare different modes of transportation to travel. [3]

Hi,

Request you to please check my compare and contrast essay.

You need to travel from your home to a place 40 miles (64 kilometers) away. Compare the different kinds of transportation you could use. Tell which method of travel you would choose. Give specific reasons for your choice.

Travelling is one of my favorite activity. If I have to go 40 miles away from my place then I would like to go by my car because I am leaving in suburb. There are no more direct options of public transportation from my place. There are public transportation in our state like trains and buses but frequency of buses is very less from our city.

To begin with, main reason of choosing a car is I like driving and 40 miles is not a long distance to drive for me. It will not take too much time to reach the destination. It hardly takes an hour if you go by 40 miles per hour from my place and if you go with the speed more than 40 miles per hour then you can reach in less than an hour. On the other hand, I think that public transportation is not convenient and comfortable for travelling from our place. If we want to go by public transportation then we have to travel to other cities and from there we have to catch bus or train to travel. It takes too much time. Instead of going to other cities I would choose to go by my car directly. This will save my time. In addition, car is a comfortable and convenient mode of traveling. I don't have to deal with rush. I also don't have any time binding. I can travel at any time. In public transportation I have to wait and consider their timetable. Many times trains and buses run late in such condition we cannot do anything but when we go by our car control is in our hand.

Finally, I think that car is the safest, convenient and comfortable mode of travelling from our place. Hence, I would like to go by car only.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: machine made goods are cheaper and more durable than handmade ones [7]

Hi All,

Request you to please check my essay. (Especially Grammar and sentence structure) any new ideas and suggestions appreciated.

Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be made by hand or by machine. Which do you prefer - items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice.

Today, we can see technology has developed a lot. Most of works can be done by machines. However, the significance of handmade products is hard to ignore. In fact, each handmade item has an artistic worth behind, which should be considered. In early days, when there were no machines people used to do most of their work by hand but now individuals have diverse options. They can use items made by machines and I believe that, if such developed machines are available to do the same work then why should we waste time and energy for creating that products by hand.

I would like to use items made by machines because I believe that, machine made goods are cheaper than handmade ones. For example, this weekend we visited Amish Community. Farming and making wood furniture are their source of income. They did not use any technology or any machines for this. All work can be done by hand like, in the process of making furniture, they have to cut the wood, shape it, fix it and then polish it. On the other hand, using machines for conducting this process could reduce the required work force and production rate could also increase. As workforce increases, price of the product also increases and therefore price of handmade items are costly than machine made goods. We can also see many other things like cloths with handmade embroidery work, Home decors, Paintings and the like which are more costly than machine made ones.

In addition, handmade goods are beautiful but not as much durable as machine made items. In my own experience, we used dining mats which had a handmade embroidery work on it. We hardly used it for one and half month and after second wash, all work made by hand on that mats was gone. Now, we bought mats with machine made work on it and we are using that from last three months. We washed it for three to four times but still it looks like new. So, I do not think that handmade goods are more durable than machine made.

Finally, I believe that machine made items have a long life than items handmade ones. These are cheaper, affordable and durable plus it saves time and energy. So, I would prefer to choose items made by machines.

@ Vickey: There is no question of being an angry. I am really happy that you read my essay and suggested something. I would like to debate on anything which will enhance by TOEFL score..:)

Now, come to the point.. Yes, I do agree with you, I cannot say that machine made items are stronger than handmade. Actually, in my first essay, I wanted to explain about durability and in my second essay, I tried to clear my ideas with examples. Hope after reading this essay, you might have got my ideas behind my opinion.

Good Luck!

any suggestions and corrections appreciated:)

Thank you dear all for your reviews.

Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: "Reasons to work other than earning money" [9]

Hi,

Request you to please check my essay and correct it. Any suggestions appreciated.

People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

Money is important to live and to earn that money people need to work. This is one of the main reasons of working but, I believe that, money is not everything we cannot buy happiness with money. There are many other reasons of working such as to gain experience, volunteering, to help others and for physical and mental exercise which give satisfaction to people. These people work for happiness, satisfaction and relaxation and not for money.

The first reason to work is to gain an experience. There are many students who work to gain an experience and not for money. Some students do part time job while studying. Some students work full time after completing their education to gain a practical experience without salary. In my own experience, I used to do a part time job while doing my master just to gain a practical experience. That was my first job and I learned many important things there. The most important thing is that, an organization in which I was working allowed me to complete my project work there. That was very useful because whatever I was learning in college, the same work I was practicing on my work. That was a practical experience which was more important at that stage than money. So, some people work to earn experience.

The second reason is some people like to do social services such as volunteering. Many people do volunteering in Library or in Community. We can see many old age people do such work for the sake of satisfaction and not for money. Not only old age people do these works but youngsters also do. For example, I regularly go in library there I met many old age people who work as a volunteer and they enjoy their work. One day, I talked to one lady there, she is retired person and she works there because she wants to do some social service and wants to make new friend and by doing this she can spend her time in something good. I was inspired by her I also applied for volunteer. Now I am also working as a volunteer in a library and help others to teach computers. So, providing services can also be a reason of work.

In addition, some people like to help others. They cannot seat idle. There is a saying that, "Idle mind is the devils workshop" and I think this is true. For example, my uncle John, He is very friendly and helping in nature. He likes to help others and he always keeps himself busy in work. If does not have any work, then he goes to do community services. He believes that helping others gives him satisfaction with physical and mental exercise. Many people want to educate and share their knowledge with others. For example, all moderators and contributors on essay forum check our essays and help us to improve our English for free. We all must have read the slogan on forum which is, "the biggest reward is helping others" and it is absolutely true.

Finally, I believe that, not all people work for money and earning money is not only their reason to work. There are many reasons of working other than earning money such as helping others, gaining experience, volunteering and the like which give people a happiness and satisfaction.

Thanks,

Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: Popularity of movies in all over the world. [4]

Hi everyone,

Request you to please check my essay and correct it. (any suggestions are always welcome)

Movies are popular all over the world. Explain why movies are so popular. Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

In early days, movies were not as popular as today. Nowadays, movies are one of the most popular part of entertainment. Everyone wants something to enjoy and watching movie is one of the best option for entertainment and I think that, this is the most important reason of why movies are most popular in all over the world. Popularity of movies made this film industry very big in all over the world, as a result it created an employment in every country.

To start with, first reason which is entertainment. Watching movies is one of our favorite weekend time pass. There are various types of movies such as action, thriller, comedy and animated. People watch movies to make themselves relax. Watching movie helps them to keep away from their day to day work and tensions. Some action, thriller and suspense movies take us in the different world. We can forget all our tensions after watching such movies and get back to our life with fresh mood. We can get different types of knowledge from movies like knowledge about history such movies keep historical events live. There are some sports related movies which are very inspirational. I always get inspired by such sports and action based movies. Animated movies are also very interesting movies. Bollywood and Hollywood are the two large and most popular industries in all over the world.

In addition, Film industry plays a vital role in the economic development of the country. There are various other small business attached to this industry for example, to produce any movie, there is need of actors, actresses, sub actors, story writer, dancer, choreographer, camera man, make up man, costumes, studio and different sets. Without all these no movie can be produce. Once movie will be produce then promotion or advertisement is necessary to run that movie, so advertisement industry also plays a vital role to make movies popular. Now, we can see there are various universities where students take education to enter in this industry. It has also become an important field to make a career.

Finally, I think that, entertainment, positive response from public, awareness and employment these are some of the important reasons behind the popularity of movies.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Ess; development of housing or industry is also profitable but not healthy [4]

Hi,

Please check and correct my TOEFL essay.

In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I think, in my country means in India, there is need for land to be left in its natural condition because current population of India is near about 1.22billlion and it is increasing day by day. Rising population automatically helps to increase housing and industry in country especially in Metro Politian cities. I think that if there will be more land to be left in its natural condition then, it can save us from many problems like health and environmental problems.

To start with, my first reason is health issues. There is saying that, "Healthy Nature, Healthy People" In today's fast paced world, we can see that, people do not have to time to take care of their heath. They are busy in their work and spend their whole day in office sitting under A/c. They are not at all in touch with nature, this causes various health problems. Doctor's suggestion for these issues is to go for walk in fresh air or spend more time in nature. I think that, there is need to take care of nature around us to stay healthy. If there will be more greenery around us instead of buildings and complex then we can save ourselves from such health problems.

We hardly can see open places or grounds in Metro Politian cities. Not only Metro Politian cities but many small villages are also turning into big cities by developing housing and industries. Everywhere there is buildings and commercial complexes. People need to go far away from their place to feel natural beauty such as on hills stations and national parks. Nowadays, these places are also becoming crowded. People started many small businesses there and they think that home should also be near from work place so they started moving to such places. This disturbs nature's beauty which causes environmental imbalances. Nowadays, we can feel effects of global warming. All these are due to human creations. I think, one day will come when there will not be land in its natural condition. This can have dangerous effect on us. So, to stay away from such dangerous situation there is a need to maintain environmental balance.

Finally, it is true that, development of housing or industry is also profitable but not healthy. I believe that health comes first and to stay healthy maintaining environmental balance is important and we can maintain that by keeping some land in its natural condition.

Thank,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Teachers should take courses or training to upgrade" [4]

Hi,

Request you to please check and correct my essay. I mentioned the reasons which came in my mind while writing, any other reasons would be appreciated. Thanks:)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Teachers should take a course or training to upgrade their knowledge.
Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In today's fast paced world, everyone needs to get themselves upgrade in all areas and teachers are the most important person in our life after parents. When kids first time enter in a school teacher is the first person with whom he or she spent time without parents so, teacher's role is very important after parents to make the kids career. We all can see the difference between each generation. Every next generation is advanced than the previous one. So, taking course or training is the need of an hour and therefore teachers should take that to upgrade their knowledge.

Knowledge is vast and our whole life is also not sufficient to obtain all that knowledge. Education system is also improving day by day. I remember when I was in school, I never knew about the computers. I took some private computer courses after schooling then I got some knowledge about computers. Nowadays, computer is the compulsory subject for all students from first grade. So, it is not compulsory that all teachers should have all knowledge about everything. They also need to upgrade themselves to teach. I remember our Principal, a very eager person to learn any new thing. Not only to learn but he always utilize his knowledge to improve the education system. Every year he attends various seminars in abroad and learns something new. He also gives chance to other teachers to attend that seminar and allows other teachers from that country to exchange their knowledge with us. Such training and seminars help to motivate the teachers.

On the other hand, there are many schools which are equipped with technologies but, teachers do not know how to use it so there is no use of that technology. Proper training and courses are necessary to use that technology. Researchers did some search on it, in that they compared result of students who were under the guidance of trained teachers and students who were under the guidance of untrained teachers and it is observed that result of students who were under the guidance of trained teachers is much more better than that of the other ones. So, proper training to the teachers can help to make student's career bright.

Finally, proper training and advance courses play a vital role in every field but, teachers are the first person who learns first and then teach to kids. Kid learns to learn from teachers only so, their knowledge needs to upgrade first.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"It was easy in past to identify career or job" [2]

Hi,

I am submitting this essay after a long time please help me by checking and correcting this essay. Thanks.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job has a secure or successful future.
Use specific reasons and examples for your opinion.

Finding good job is a very difficult task in today's competitive world. This is because industrialization, privatization and globalization. In early days, there were limited options, people used to prefer jobs like government jobs or home business which are secure and spend their whole life by doing that jobs. So, it was simple in the past to choose our career.

Nowadays, Industrialization has brought drastic changes in job market. Increasing industries helped in the economic development of the country which has changed social life of people. Technological innovation has also brought a lot of changes in industrialization. All these changes have opened various opportunities for people so they started moving towards these new opportunities.

Privatization is another important factor which has made competition more strong. Privatization is nothing but the converting public sector into private sector. I remember, after completing graduation my family forced me to do government job only because most of my family members are in public sector and they think that public sector has a secure career but, I wanted to enter in private sector because private sector has more money and opportunities. In early days, when there was no privatization people did not have choices but, now they have and therefore they are turning from public sector to private sector.

In addition, globalization has made possible to connect with world. People started trading, communicating and exchanging products and services globally. This has opened new more opportunities on international level. So, people started moving overseas for such great opportunities. However, before all these, people could not even think to move from one city to another. It was difficult for them but, nowadays development in transportation has made it possible to move overseas.

Finally, competition has raised a lot and also increasing day by day. Sometimes, people cannot identify their career in this competitive world and get confused. Industrialization, privatization and globalization have made these competitions more strong so as compared to today's life it was really easy in the past to identify our career.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Influence of information available on internet" [3]

Hi,

Can anyone suggest me some more strong ideas about this topic...? I am not satisfied with mine.

The widespread use of the internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world.

Internet plays a vital role in today's fast paced world. It has made available worldwide information at one place. In ancient days, we had to go to the places to take out or find out some information but, today internet made it simple for us. Information available on internet has a great influence in our lives.

Internet has vast information available from which we have to find a correct and useful data. I remember, my brother was about to take admission for his masters after completing his bachelor's degree. There were no particular program was available at his place so he was searching from internet only. Internet made him easy to take his decision because, he could find out all available options then compare and decide where to go. So, information on internet has an amazing effect on my brother's career.

In addition, internet has made long distances short. It's very easy to access anyone can use it by following some simple instructions. We can search any kind of information by using search engine like Google. Nowadays, most of the work can be done online such as online banking, online shopping etc. Last month my husband wanted to buy insurance but he was confused which one to buy then he took out information of various insurance companies from internet; compared rates with other companies and then choose one after checking reviews. All was possible because of the availability of information on internet. In today's modern world, it is the best method of searching correct items and services.

Finally, internet has both kind of positive and negative information available. We have to decide which information is accurate and essential for us.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Success in life: Risk or Planning" [8]

Hi,

Please help me by checking my essay...thanks:)

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Life is like a race and we all are running in that race to win. To win this race, running is important. If we do planning only and don't run then, that will not help us to win the race. By this way, careful action in any work in life is important, only planning cannot help to success in life. Proper planning with careful action can help us to success in life.

Firstly, taking risk can teach us new lessons in our life. This will give us new experience of learning new things, where we can find our strength and weaknesses. We can find our interest in that work or activity. This will help us to improve our skills and work on our weaknesses. This will not always results success but, failure is the first step to success so, we should learn to take risk in our life to find our strength and weaknesses

Secondly, taking risks can help us to find new ideas and opportunities in life. We can also make a profit by taking risks. For example, in share market, people take risk and carefully invest their money and luckily they earn profit out of that. Second example, while playing, many times players have to take risk to win the match, even if he knows that he could not do that moves. No matter, whether they win the match or not, but they will have satisfaction that they tried. So, failure could also be the result of risks, but that does not mean, we should stop taking risk and keep ourselves away from new ideas and opportunities.

Finally, not every time will get the time to think and plan, so by considering positive points of risk, I think, success comes by taking risks or chance.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Planning is better for free time activities OR not" [6]

Hi,

Some people prefer to plan activities for their free time very carefully. Others choose not to make any plans at all for their free time. Compare the benefits of planning free-time activities with the benefits of not making plans. Which do you prefer - planning or not planning for your leisure time? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

Free time is the time which everyone likes to spend by doing their favorite activities such as, playing, watching movies and hanging out with friends. Planning plays important role to manage your activities without wasting time. Some people like to plan for their activities while others do not. Planning is not only important for our professional life but also in our personal life.

To begin with my first reason, planning helps to utilize our full time without wasting it. I like to plan my each and every activity. It helps me to finish my activities without wasting my time. It gives satisfactions that I have done it according to plan. For example, I like to spend my free time in outdoor activities such as, biking, boating, and kayaking, and many others which are close to nature. These are our weekend activities which I plan and make full use of our weekend. Planning not only saves our time but also money.

Secondly, planning helps me to make my activities more enjoyable. For example, if I want to hang out with my friends on coming weekend, I can plan by finding a correct place and time, and then ask my friends. If everyone will ready then we can enjoy it together. On the other hand, if we go without planning then we might waste our time by running here and there. This will spoil our mood. So, planning is important to make your activities more enjoyable and it will also save our energy.

Finally, it is not possible to plan our activities every time, but we can learn to manage our time by handling such situations. Therefore, I would prefer to plan my activities to save my time, energy and money.

Thanks,
Ana.