Expect the unexpected

It was the first day of spring of my junior year. I woke up earlier than usual that day because I was too excited; I could not wait to get to school. Every year my school throws a huge beneficent competition where they divide the school in three teams, and they were going to choose the teams that day. The car ride to school seemed to take forever, and I only stopped jumping up and down in my seat when my mom was almost losing her patience.

When I sat on my desk, all I could hear was people talking about the team selection that was about to happen. As the school principal walked inside of the classroom, everybody went silent. It did not take long until they started to choose the teams. "Priscila: green team". I could not be happier. By the end of the selection, all of my friends were on my team. But the tension was not over yet. Each team is assigned a counselor, and each counselor chooses a team leader. Seniors were always the ones chosen as leaders, since it is their last year competing. However, that year the unexpected happened. I was chosen as the leader of my team. I was so confused. As I walked down the hallways after class, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. When I stopped to talk with my best friend, Lucas, who happened to be a senior, he turned his back and walked away. My excitement was starting to fade away.

On the following day, I looked for Lucas everywhere. Since he was also on my team, I was hoping he could help me manage all the tasks I had to take care of. He was nowhere to be found. Our first team meeting was set to happen that day after school and I was beyond nervous. When I entered the auditorium that afternoon, my eyes were everywhere looking for Lucas. I was so relieved when I saw him seated in the last row. I waved to him, but he just pretended he did not see it. Although I could see people were not happy that I was chosen as the leader, they eventually gave in and got involved in the meeting. Things were starting to finally get better.

After the meeting was over I ran into Lucas on our way out of the auditorium. Again, he pretended he did not see me. I got really mad because I could not understand why he was avoiding me. I grabbed his arm and shouted:

I'd start with the most powerful part of your story, then explain the rest:

"What is wrong with you?" I had shouted at Lucas, frustrated. He had been ignoring me all day, ever since I was announced as the captain of one of the three teams for my school's annual benefit competition.[This is the part where you explain, something like: "I guess he was jealous, and he had always had a pretty bad temper.]But I had never expected my best friend since _________ to react the way he did. All I remember was the pain I felt when his fist hit my face . I was knocked off my feet onto the tiles of the hallway . As I lay on the ground , I could feel blood coming out of my nose. I was speechless and paralyzed with fear.Other studentsgathered around to see what had happened; they stared at me, but did nothing . Since we had just come from our first team meeting, it was a few hours after school, and few teachers were around.(Is that what happened?)Feeling weak and humiliated , I picked myself off the ground and started to walk towards the bathroom, covered in blood. "You don't deserve to be a leader.You're a weak loser! " he called after me . I did not know what to think, what to do. I had never felt so alone in my entire life.

"What happened to your face?" my mom asked me when she picked me up from school later that day. I was so scared that I could not tell her; instead, I told her I fell down the stairs running to class. I spent the entire night crying and trying to figure out what I should do about what hadhappened. After hours of thinking it through, I decided not to tell my parents or the school. My plan was to pretend nothing happened;I convinced myself that by the next day, everyone would forget about it . No such luck.Everybody was talking about it the next day . I went to the team meeting that afternoon holding my head high, because I could not let my teammates think that I was weak. When I thought things could not get worse, Lucas showed up right in front of me. "Did you like the taste of my fist?" That was enough. I was disgusted by what he was doing to me. I started crying. I crashed. (What do you mean by crashed? Did this happen before or after the meeting? Did he walk away after he said this, or did you run away? I get that it's a hard thing to talk about, but try to at least give enough details so we know what happened to you.)

Finally, I decided to act (How long was it in between that last paragraph and the time you decided to act?) . It was not right for me to feel threatened in school grounds, so I went to the principal's office and told (him/her) everything that was going on. Unfortunately, the school did not punish him, only gave him a warning. Although I knew I would still see him around school, I finally felt better. However, I still had one more challenge to face: telling my parents. I rehearsed the whole thing in my head over and over during school. When I sat down and talked to them, they were shocked. My father was furious.

Even though I felt like a failure at first, I ultimately felt like I was doing the right thing. I truly regret not telling my parents before and reporting the incident to the police. Maybe if I had dealt with the situation differently I would have avoided part of what happened. After everything was over, I finished the benefit competition with my team in first place. I had proved to myself and my peers that I was strong enough to put everything behind me and move on . Later that year, I started to give advice to girls that suffered from the same situation as I did (Like, abuse victims? Was this in your school? Or with a hotline/organization?) . Today, when I look back, I see that I have learnt valuable lessons. I am sure going to deal more seriously with the problems I encounter with people and think what would be a healthy choice for me.

To Spank or Not to Spank ?

Spanking is one of the largest problems that children face in the world (Ummm... Poverty? War? Even bullying or low self-esteem? Don't start off with such an exaggeration. There's a better way to take a stance against spanking.) . This problem has become an enormous issue for parents. When it comes to raising a child, there is more than one method. Spanking and hitting the child is the worst method and it mostly impacts children in negative ways . There are many of kinds of children. Some are quiet, some are loud but obedient, and some are simply out-of-control. Some impatient parents believe that they are forced to spank their children because they don't have any choice. For too many parents, they are not pretty good with using words with children; that is why they end up using the corporal punishment. Even though, many parents and supporters are for spanking children just because it takes less time, Iview spanking as a form of child abuse, unhealthy for children, and increasing child violence.

(I think you need some more reasons why spanking children is bad, as well as some more understanding about why parents spank their children. To say that parents only spank their kids because they are "not good with using words" or "feel forced to do it" because their children are too bad, or because spanking takes "less time" (for what?) is a BIG generalization that isn't true. Some parents do it in the context of religion, and others only use it as a progression (warning, time-out, spanking) to reinforce their rules, for example.)

Some parents claim that spanking is what a misbehaving child really needs (Try and find some quotes to support your claims.) . They say that when they were their children's age, they used to be spanked by their parents too, and turned out just fine, so why not use the same strategy that their parents did?

Other supporters claim that spanking their children leads to positive results. They assume that it works actively since the child will not misbehave again. Some parents believe their children are more well-behaved than those who do not get spanked. Theythink that children are not aware of what is right and wrong, so they are more likely to misbehave and have an attitude.

Parents' last resort is spanking their children, but how will our nation move forward if they keep taking the old nation's steps of raising a child? (I don't think that how people discipline their children has that big an impact on how our nation moves forward...) The thing is, it may lead to serious issues in children and it could cause a child abuse(Spanking kids as discipline is different from child abuse, and spanking kids does not make parents start abusing their children. I agree that the boundary between what is discipline and what is abuse is a very fine and blurry line, but you cannot claim that all spanking is child abuse) . Moreover, children will lose their self-esteem if their parents keep spanking them constantly (What proof can you give to support this statement?) . Toddlers feel humiliated when they get spanked (Do they? How do you know?). They do not need to be treated like animals just for parents to prove their point(I didn't know people spanked animals...) . As a sign of notice, children are easy to convince(Then why don't they listen the first time asked?) . It is completely inhumane to raise a child like it was a kind of a pet, not to mention that pets are valued like humans to some people.

(I understand that you feel very strongly about not spanking kids, but comparing it to animal abuse could be offensive to readers, not to mention that you really can't compare those two things at all.)

I assume(Never assume in an essay) that corporal punishment leads to child abuse because itmakes the child feels insecure and terrified. Although, parents who avoid spanking do so, it increases the violence in a child. It also increases the risk of child mortality(?!),which seems to be a controversial issue. Why should children lose their self-respect? The answer may be in the back of your mind, but it is actually in front of your eyes once you take the blurriness out.(Just take this sentence out.) Toddlers only get to know what they did is wrong, therefore the children will merely avoid those situations. Why don't they get the chance of having a reasonable clue(This is confusing to me) ? They need a parent that doesn't feel impatient and terribly angry just because they did something they shouldn't do in the first place!

To summarize , each one of us has made foolish mistakes during his/her childhood. Whether society noticed that this major problem might cause so many different problems to children starting with child abuse and violence, and ending with physical, mental, and emotional issue. Not only should parents focus on the whole issue, but also society . Reaching the roots of the dilemma and trying to find the perfect solution to go forward also redefining the problem won't help if you didn't face it now. Anyways, children ; flavor of the life , Are you really proud of giving them an insulting corporal punishment that humiliate them as humans?(These last sentences get progressively more confusing, and the last one, using "You" as the subject, sounds like you're directly insulting the reader.)

I have always wanted to attend this amazing summer program and this scholarship will provide me this opportunity. I am a science student and I really love science. I am among the top students in my class and I have got exceptional grades in O'levels(This does not necessarily make you unique.) . This scholarship will enable me to further advance my knowledge in this field. I am most interested in engineering preparation program as it will provide me with insight on different engineering fields and help me select one when I get into college. The curriculum taught in this program will give me a foretaste of the topics covered in college. Apart from this, I will improve my spoken English skills as I will get a chance to interact with students from all over the world. Moreover, I will be required to follow the schedule on my own which will create a sense of responsibility in me and make me well organized. Overall this program will provide me with a lifetime experience of a college life.

The first time I had the thought of becoming an engineer was when engineering revealed its significance and attractiveness to me through history (This is an interesting concept, but instead of just saying it like this, describe the first time you were reading a history book for school / for fun and noticed the power of technology to influence society.) . When I first learned about modern history (Be specific with a place and time period) , it suddenly occurred to me that single engineering developments havejump-started whole new eras(I took out "human history" because you already had "modern history".) . Three centuries ago in Britain, the invention of Watt's steam engine rose manufacturing productivity to historical levels,humans were able to travel faster than houses(Houses can't travel...)because of engine-powered vehicles , and the social structure changed to accommodate a growing workforce. Later, Britain became one of the largest empires in the world, and new developments of technology spread to the rest of the world as the nation expanded . Engineers brought society to the Industrial Era, and the thought of becoming such a progressive force(You said " the thought of becoming one of them", but you can't be one of the engineers that brought society to the Industrial Era.) has always been a driving force to me. (This part is a little weird, because you were influenced by your father before you discovered engineering's role in history, so this thought couldn't have always driven you.) .

But even though seeing the significance of engineering to history has increased my passion for the field , having a father who is an engineer has a unique influence on me. Ever since I was _____, when my father told me that the ultrasound sensors in my Lego robot's eyes were developed by his team, my impression of engineers has been associated with admirationfor their ability tocreate eyesight out of wires and metal . This can be childish(It's not childish. There's something a little magical about knowing that engineers can create something out of seemingly nothing, or can change the course of history with a single invention. Don't sell yourself short by writing this.) , but it was what first attracted my attention to engineering.

(My suggestion would be to open with the father thing, since that came first, then go into the history thing, then connect it back to the idea that having the power to create and change the world is what inspired you to become an engineer.)

The reason why I choose the Material Engineering Faculty in the University of Toronto is its leading role in the area of sustainability and energy in the world. (Careful. Even though there are three questions to answer, this is still one essay. Don't change gears so suddenly. For example, from the last paragraph, you can say that the University of Toronto, will help you create, because it's an engineering program, and it will help you change the world because you want to use its sustainability to help the environment.) For instance , the world most efficient organic light-emitting diode (OLED) and solar cells with 0.7% world recorded efficiencyïźŒwhich were developed by teams led by Engineering Professors Zheng-Hong Lu and Ted Sargent, respectively, were both ground-breaking to the study of clean energy(I think they'll know why they are so ground-breaking. What they really want to know is why you care so much about the environment, and what you plan to do with the resources at such an environmentally conscious college.) . As fossil fuels,pollution, and restrictions(What do you mean by this?) are being frequently mentioned these days, these energy-saving developments are not only academically significant(This is also confusing.) , but can also help me find solutions to the urgent energy crisis global industries are facing .

For the preparation of my future study and career, I have developed two essential skills, group management skill and presentation skill, through my participation in extra-curricular activities (Again, transitions are key. You could write something like "The two most important skills that one would need to solve such a large and pressing problem are ______ and _____." Explain why #1 is important, how you learned that skill, and how UToronto encourages that skill. Then do that with #2.) . In the last two years, I have volunteered in my school's Homework Club as a mentor, helping elementary students with their academic performances and behaviours(Too fancy. Try "homework" and something more specific than behaviors.) after school. Group management skills are what I have accomplished during my volunteering.(You don't need this at all; you'll explain it by describing what you do; plus, you already mentioned this earlier.) In order to finish the homework within designated time, I have to be able to calm downrowdy childrenevery session.By _________ and _______ (Describe what you do.), I learn patience and effective communicationApart from that, presentation techniques are also what I consider as essential to an engineer.(Again, unnecessary.) Therefore, I have joined the Toastmasters Club (Explain what exactly this is.) to improve my oral communications skills by presenting speeches and hosting meetings. After a period of learning time in the club, I also volunteered as a tour guide in our local historical site to put my skills in practical use. (Don't end it here. You to wrap this essay up, tie it with a bow, and throw it at UToronto. Something like, "I have the dream, the drive, and the skills; through the University of Toronto, I know I can change the world." That was kind of lame, but hopefully you get the drift.)

Discuss how an event, novel or experience has significantly influenced you or has changed your life.

"It was not a simple or fast-paced transition, but gaining confidence in myself was one of the most sensational feelings in the world. I started out doing little things like picking my head up when I walked down the hall and telling myself daily that I was worthy and beautiful. After a while, it came naturally. I woke up and thought those things without having to consciously tell myself. After I pieced together the insides of myself, I started to work on the outside. I am still not perfect, but I am happy, and that is what really matters. "

"They have no respect for themselves! They are all trashy and are just all around bad people with bad attitudes."

I stare in awe, not believing that someone can be this judgmental. Alex continues with his opinion on women with tattoos. "I would never want to be seen in public with one and could not even fathom the idea of having a romantic relationship with a girl who had a tattoo." His face shows pure disgust, not even registering that all of us are gaping with wide eyes.

"In 500 words or less, discuss your reasons for pursuing undergraduate study in the visual arts . Feel free to include any information about yourself , your goals and interests that may not be immediately apparent from the review of your transcripts or portfolio

Since most of my time during many summer vacations is spent reading, the practical aspects of these programs present a valuable opportunity for me to spend my summer vacation time...

I tried adding "Satan", "attractive female acquaintance", and the dark, really unusual, awkward imagery to kind of make things seem more dark and dramatic. The overly complex sentences were also supposed to reflect my complex thoughts, but I guess I'm not a good enough writer to make it work and it just ends up being weird.

And the cheery comfort zone is the meditation thing I'm doing. Is there any way I can make it clearer?

My experience was falling into a dark state of mind, where I have really weird, intense thoughts; did you catch that?

"Again, my hopes of succulent confidence were over-burnt." I was trying to use a metaphor here that compares my hopes of attaining confidence to something being over-burned. But, I can see how it's confusing now. I'll work on it!

Prompt1:Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?

Prompt2:Discuss the subjects in which you have had difficulty. What factors do you believe contributed to your difficulties? How have you dealt with them so they will not cause problems for you again? In what areas have you experienced the greatest improvement? What problem areas remain?

Prompt3:Briefly describe a situation in which you felt that you or others were treated unfairly or were not given an opportunity you felt you deserved. Why do you think this happened? How did you respond? Did the situation improve as a result of your response?

Prompt4:Discuss your short and long-term goals. Are some of them related? Which are priorities?

Prompt5:Discuss a leadership experience you have had in any area of your life: school, work, athletics, family, church, community, etc. How and why did you become a leader in this area? How did this experience influence your goals?

Prompt6:Discuss your involvement in and contributions to a community near your home, school or elsewhere. Please select an experience different from the one you discussed in the previous question, even if this experience also involved leadership. What did you accomplish? How did this experience influence your goals?

Prompt7:Other than through classes in school, in what areas (non-academic or academic) have you acquired knowledge or skills? How?

Prompt8:Is there anything else you would like to tell us about that may help us evaluate your nomination (i.e., personal characteristics, obstacles you have overcome)?

Why do you deserve this?

Would it be easier if I attached the actual application?