Undergraduate / Transfer admission essay for Georgia Tech. I need help forming an excellent essay which I lack of. [19]

Georgia Tech Application for Transfer Admission

Please limit your essay to 2000 characters, which includes spaces and punctuation.

Short Answer 1

What interests you about your selected program of study?

Aerospace Engineering is a broad field that can translate into many careers. However, my passion for space exploration has grown within the last few years. With this degree, I will be able to become an expert in aerodynamics and propulsion to engineer the next best aircraft that can travel as fast as the speed of light, which would take us the farthest distances in space.

When I was a child, I used to gaze at the stars high above and say, "They are unreachable." Little did I imagine that I could someday be able to get closer to those stars. During my whole college career I have been undecided about what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't find my passion until one day I was told by a friend to follow the signs. I was always amazed by space exploration and saw the vastness of it and put it in a pedestal. It was so unimaginable and almost untrue that it began to become a reality when I began learning about astronauts such as Neil Armstrong.

This program not only interests me to build better aircraft here on Earth, but I want to be a part of companies such as SpaceX, who have now landed their first rocket vertically to save money for future space travel.

I believe there is another earthlike planet out there in the universe. With recent discoveries such as Kepler 652 and other planets that are in the similar distance within their sun star, it gives me hope that there are other planets like ours surrounding other stars.

Finding another of another planet will get us closer to knowing the essence of our existence in the universe. Perhaps we will meet other life systems that are far more advanced. Perhaps there are other worlds that have not been habited and that are able to sustain human life. Perhaps there are many more worlds that will answer our questions as to how we came exist.

There is another world out there, and it is my dream to engineer the next system that can find another Earthlike planet before our time here on Earth runs out.

Undergraduate / Leadership, progress, and service during the past three years. Georgia Tech admission essay. [4]

Good evening everyone. I am applying for transfer to Georgia Tech to become an Aerospace Engineer with the ultimate goal of becoming an astronaut for the NASA Space Program. Using this platform has been very helpful for me. I thank anyone who is willing to take the time to read my essay and make suggestions.

I added a few notes at the end regarding things I did not mention. Also, the essay is over the required 2000 character count. It is 4260 characters total. This was my first draft, so I didn't want to delete anything yet (I noticed that the things I erase are usually the things that the colleges want to hear). I want you to see my first draft and notice what information is useful, and what information is not.

PROMPT: The motto at Georgia Tech is leadership, progress and service. Describe how you have demonstrated this motto over the past three years.

Again, I appreciate any feedback. Here it is:

{BEGINNING OF ESSAY

It was a hot summer day in 2013, and I waited anxiously for the mailman to arrive at my place. He handed me a handful of envelopes, and in it was an immigration letter. I opened it up without hesitation, and there it was, my permanent resident card. Without it, I was not able to go to college right after my high school graduation. I cried. I knew my life was about to change, and that the American Dream was about to become a reality for me. On this same day, I applied at Broward College to begin working on my Associate's Degree. My experience in school and at work has molded me into a leader and given me the abilities to progress and help others succeed.

Starting college was difficult for me. I had not been in school for four years; I was already working full-time and living on my own. I had to adjust my work schedule so I could attend classes. The first term, I received all A's in all of my courses. My International Relations professor noticed how hard I worked and told me, "You are going to do great in your studies. I see how hard you work." I was determined. Likewise, I did the same throughout my college career: sustained a 4.0 GPA up until this day. I also signed up for advanced courses like Chemistry, Calculus I, II, III, and Differential Equations. Whilst working full-time, I achieved great success and received A's in every course. I was determined and felt like nothing could stop me.

Working for Chez Gourmet gave me opportunity to develop into a leader. I was hired as a server and quickly climbed the ladder by becoming the warehouse manager, and recently, I was offered the position of Captain and Event Coordinator. The position is only offered to employees who have been working with the company for 10 years or more and who have extensive leadership capabilities. The owner said to me, "You come up with solutions to issues and implement them without being asked to do so. Taking initiative has been one of your greatest assets, and you will do well as a captain because you have natural leadership qualities and people respect and like to listen to you." Throughout my career, I have given 100% in any position I have been in. These leadership skills helped me become involved in my school and in my community.

I began tutoring at BC during my second semester. I was taking College Algebra and noticed a classmate was struggling with test scores. I offered her my help by staying after class with her and doing homework together. This became a habit and it was then our calculus study group was formed. Many students within the pre-engineering math sequence continue to participate in the group. I lead the group by scheduling meeting times, and I am the one who keeps everyone focused. We would study until the school closed and also on Sundays all day. "Practice makes perfect!" I would say. My classmate, Edward, once said to me, "You motivate me to keep working hard and to study, and that there are no excuses in life." Each of the students knew me personally and learned how hard I worked to achieve great success. I inspired them and each of them attained A's in all of their math courses. We were the top five students throughout the math sequence courses. Not only was I involved with the school as a tutor, but also, I began reaching out to families with kids to tutor them math. I currently tutor two high school students in Algebra and Calculus. It is a very rewarding experience to see them smile when the subject makes sense. It is what keeps me going everyday, to give back to the community by helping others who are struggling.

I see myself headed in the right direction. With the abilities I have acquired, I can say that I fit right in with Georgia Tech's motto of leadership, progress, and service. In order for our society to succeed, we need to improve the human condition. It is my goal to do so by continuing to apply my leadership skills and service in everything I choose to do. The permanent resident card has opened up a door of opportunities that I otherwise would not have back in my home country. It gave me the strength and confidence to make my American Dream come true and to impact the world. I am limitless.

END OF ESSAY}

Here are a few things I did not mention or did not go in depth that could perhaps help my essay:

-Coming to this country from Colombia and learning the English language. How it was a difficulty to adjust to the system. (I think that they see this a lot, so perhaps this doesn't matter)

-A sibling of mine has recently been incarcerated. Dealing with this issue has put a lot of pressure in trying to handle work, school, tutoring services, his incarceration, admission and scholarship applications.

-During college I have been working full-time because I don't have any monetary support. I live alone and have to pay for all of my expenses. My mother makes $8.00 per hour, and I am the one who supports her with money.

-During the last three semesters of college, I have tutored two different students in algebra and calculus. I have gone out of my way to drive to their home, which is 40 minutes away from my house. I do it because I know the struggle, and I wish someone had helped me in the past. That is why I go around asking people if they need help with anything.

- Despite all the above experiences and the many more I did not mention, I survived. I woke up everyday with a purpose: To finish the day on a good note. No matter if it was getting an A on a test, finishing a work task, helping a kid with his homework, resolving an issue at my mother's house, or reuniting money to pay for my sibling's lawyer. I am a natural and strong leader, and I have demonstrated it throughout my whole life. I want a better life for my mother, who always has to worry about paying a bill. I want a better life for myself, where my hard work pays off. I know I have a big future ahead of me, and it is something that everyone I know has to say about me. Everyone from friends to employers to siblings tell me I am the American Dream.

-I am a natural born leader. I took initiative to leave my mother's house to become independent and learn about the world. I designed my own budget list, where I list what my expenses are each month. And by doing this, I was able to reunite enough money to pay my car off. I also have an excellent credit score due to this list which I have used since 2010.

-While living alone and going to college, I have participated in:
-running 7 miles every week.
-I also went to the gym for two years straight at 5am sharp. I mastered a calorie count and learned all about nutrition and how to lose or gain weight. I still go to the gym up to this day despite my schedule.

-I also practice Yoga, which has helped me to become more aware of myself and to become spiritually healthy.
-Also, I began going to church. It has helped me become a kinder person and more family oriented. Also, it has been a tool to be more spiritually connected with a higher power.

I thank you for taking the time to read this. God bless you.

Scholarship / What does being Hispanic mean to you? Scholarship essays geared for Hispanic students. [3]

Hello everyone,

I am filling out a scholarship that is geared towards Hispanic community college students. This is my first draft, and I was wondering if I should add more details.

I would appreciate any help possible.

Cheers!

Essay 1 (250 - 500 words)

What does being Hispanic mean to you, and how do your life experiences shape your answer?

Being Hispanic clearly defines my humbleness and interconnectedness with the place I came from, Colombia. Growing up in Colombia was certainly different from growing up in the United States. There, we lived in a town where economical development was an issue, and to this day, the place looks the same as it looked 15 years ago. While growing up in the U.S., I noticed the many perks I had. I was able to attain a credit card, buy my own car, and move into my own apartment and live life as an adult at such an early age. In Colombia, this is something that can't be done unless you come from a very wealthy family.

Every time I go back to visit, I realize that we take things for granted here in the U.S. We as Hispanics can get to persevere here in the U.S., but some people do advance in life sometimes forgetting the place where they came from. They forget that they came from very little and some from very nothing. It is why I choose to never forget my roots; it has helped me stay connected with my country, because I too came from very nothing.

Being Hispanic also means the pursuit of happiness. Colombia is known as the happiest and most welcoming place in the world. It is because people there are happy without much, cell phones, cars, luxury items, etc. Some people have little to nothing and are able to give a smile throughout the day and enjoy their life; I can attest to this as I have been there many times and seen this with my very own eyes. Here in the U.S., I have met people who have it all and who have succeeded in their life wonderfully. Yet they are not happy at all, and that smile I see in the faces of Colombian people, I long for it here every day. I have certainly persevered here in the U.S., but I have not forgotten to give thanks and to remember the place where I came from.

Being Hispanic has been a blessing for me. To others it defines my cultural background, but it doesn't define who I am on the inside. To me, it means much more than just a cultural background; it describes my appreciation for my culture, my interconnectedness with my home country, and my ability to live a humble and happy life amongst the successes and failures of my life.

Scholarship / I learned the value of a friendship by helping a friend succeed in college. [2]

Hello EssayForum Team,

The following essay is just a draft. Please let me know if I should correct anything. I am not sure if the end is the best.

Thank you for reading and commenting on my essay. Please know that the name on the essay is not the original person. I changed the name beforehand.

Thanks again! Cheers!

Describe a time you helped another student succeed and what you learned from the experience. (300-900 words)

I met Carlos in August of 2015. He was sitting next to me in my Calculus III class, and he was also in my Differential Equations (DFQ) class, surprisingly. I had actually met him the previous semester at the STEM lab, but we never really exchanged any words until that August. After our Calculus III class, we spoke for about 20 minutes on the way to our car, and he confessed to me that he was nervous because he had been out of school for two years because his mother was ill, and he had to stop school in order to help her. The last math course he had taken was Calculus II. This was very difficult to hear because in order to succeed in Calculus III and DFQ, he needed to have expertise in Calculus II. I told him about my study techniques and how I spent most of my time at the library studying after class, and I asked him to join me. "I will help you." I said.

I noticed that Carlos was quite smart. He had knowledge about other subjects like Physics and Electricity. This was very rewarding because not only was I able to help him with Calculus, but he also taught me many things I didn't know. The second week of classes, we had a routine going. We would go to Calculus III on Mondays from 11:00pm until 1:00pm. From there we would go to have lunch at a nearby Cuban restaurant where we spoke about family, friends, science, math, and everything that the universe had to offer. After our lunch, we would go to the library and begin the day's homework. By 4:30pm, we would be getting ready for our 5:00pm class, Differential Equations: his worst fear. And after the one-hour class time, we would go to the library right away and begin this class's homework. We spent most of our semester doing this routine, and we would always leave the college library at closing time, which was around 10:00pm. We would also study Sunday's all day at the library when we had to.

I didn't mind staying so late or studying weekends. I wanted to help him. I wanted to show him the way I worked and the way I succeeded in every course by being persistent and by having a daily routine. Because of our daily routine, he was able to grasp the concept from both courses, and was attaining good grades in both courses. He thanked me many times. I remember one day we were getting ready for our final exam in Differential Equations, and he had not studied much the day before. We were at the library with other classmates and it seemed very loud and distracting. He came to me and asked if I could help him review for the test. "Let's go somewhere quiet." I said. We went to the room next door where there were no students, only him and I. I took out the review sheet I had prepared the night before with all the important notes and formulas for the test. We reviewed for a whole hour, and I gave him problems for each section. After the session, we went to the class and took the test.

He thanked me right after the test and said to me, "If it weren't for you, my friend, I would not have done as well in these classes. You took the time to review stuff from the past and helped me get back to the level of math I used to be at." I was happy to hear this. He was back to where he wanted to be, and I was able to help him get there. Days later he sends me the following text: "You motivate me to keep working hard and to study that there are no excuses in life." I cried from joy because I was able to impact his life and help him succeed in life.

From this experience, I learned the value of friendship. I learned that in order to succeed in anything, we need someone to help us and guide us. I learned that my success wasn't just about only me, but also, about the success of my classmates too. By helping Carlos, I was able to not only help him get to a better level in math, but also he was inspired by me to do better in his life all because we spent a whole semester studying together. From this experience I learned a lot about myself too. He often commented on how smart I was and how persistent I was with my work, which was something I never really noticed until he had told me. I was always hard on myself thinking I could always do better, and Carlos pointed out that I was doing the right thing. I learned the importance of our friendship, which was something new to me, and I cannot thank him enough for that, forever.

Scholarship / A hidden gem in the multitude of people. Work hard and it will pay off. Scholarship essay. [4]

Hello EssayForum Team,

This is a draft for a scholarship essay that I wrote yesterday. Please let me know if I answered the question and if there are any errors I should fix.

Thank you!

Essay (250 - 500 words)

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else." -Albert Einstein. What does this statement mean to you? Use a personal experience to elaborate your point.

It means that in order to succeed in life, you have to stand out from the rest; you have to be unique; you have to be the very hidden gem in the multitude of people.

Looking back at my life, I realize that I am that hidden gem among the multitude of people. I began working for a catering company back in 2012, and I remember the very first day at work. The event was at the Flagler museum for the reception of a fancy wedding. It was my first time working as a server, and it frightened me a bit because I had no idea of what to do. Yet all I did was watch the people, or as Einstein called it, "learn the rules of the game." I watched and copied what the others did. I didn't want anyone to notice I was new. After watching the servers and learning their work techniques, I then realized that most servers walked in a normal pace. And so, I began walking like it was the end of the world. I walked as fast as I could, and worked as hard as I could, or as Einstein called it, "You have to play better than anyone else." It was then when my work was noticed. The event captain that night named me Mr. Speedy, and the following week, the owner came to me and said, "We want to keep you. We see how hard you work."

From that very moment at the Flagler museum, I have risen to the top as the event captain and coordinator, a position that is only given to the veterans of the company and people who have extensive experience in the matter. I now direct staff of 30 to take care of clientele of up to 200 or more. Everyone in the company loves my work ethic and leadership skills, and I am always asked to train new employees.

I have also applied Einstein's quote to my everyday life, and most importantly, to school. I realized that in order to succeed in a class, I needed to have a good relationship with every professor. So I decided to attend every professor's office hours with any questions I had. Attending these sessions not only helped me form a better relationship with professors, but it allowed me to achieve high grades in every course at Broward College (BC). I believe that forming great relationships with professors is a rule of the "game" that not many followed during my career at BC.

I live my life by the statement because I am not like everyone else. I always want more, and I am always willing to learn and succeed and to be the very best. It is the only way I can succeed in life.

Scholarship / Why am I a good candidate for the scholarship? (Scholarship for housing near the university) [2]

Dear EssayForum team,

I am currently applying to a scholarship that provides free housing near the university where I would be attaining my Bachelor's Degree. I appreciate any help with the essay.

Here are the instructions and prompts:

Respond to all of the following topics, incorporating into one essay of 500-750 words.

1. Write a brief autobiography, which includes your characteristics and general outlook on life.

2. Select the most significant event in your life and discuss how it affected you.

3. Briefly discuss your professional goals and how you hope to achieve them.

4. Tell us why you are a good candidate for our community living scholarship.

The person I was a few years ago has been transformed, like a worm transforms into a butterfly. Several experiences have shaped my life including my migration to the U.S., finding my biological father, and choosing a career in the engineering field.

My name is Juan Sebastian Rubio Lopez. I was born in Bogota, Colombia, and I was brought here to the U.S. back in 2002. My mother brought my siblings and I here in search of a better life. I attended middle school and high school and got a job at the age of 14. I always felt like there was an economic struggle at home and working alleviated some of that weight off my mother's shoulders. It was then when I became independent and learned the value of having a job. When I graduated high school, I was told I couldn't attend high school because I wasn't a permanent resident yet. This was a heartbreaking point because I longed for an education. I waited about four years before I finally was able to go to college. I have now climbed to the top, graduation. I attained a 4.0 GPA and the respect from my professors and my peers. My general outlook on life is: "There will always be struggle, but it's how you respond to the struggle that will determine your success or failure in life." Even though my family has had many hardships, I have become a stronger person. The struggles were opportunities for growth. I now know I have the potential to do anything I set out to do in life.

One of the most significant moments in my life was finding my biological father. I grew up without a father figure and was always curious to know who he was. When I turned 18, I asked my mother about him. She seemed uneasy about the subject, but I felt the need to know. It was then when I searched for him online. Without any success, I went to my home country to ask people around for his information. I later found out that he was living in Mexico and was an entrepreneur. I contacted the company he was working for, and he emailed me right away. I cried. I felt joy in my stomach and lungs because I had finally found the missing piece in my life. We are now making plans to see each other. This affected my life in many ways: it encouraged me to follow my curiosity; it fortified my bravery to do anything in life, and it reminded me that I got my entrepreneurial skills from him. I became stronger.

As far as my career path, I have always loved math, science, airplanes, flight, and the stars. It has always been my passion since I was little and since boarding my first airplane, to now when I sit inside an airplane curiously thinking how I could engineer my own. My professional goal is to attain a Bachelor in Aerospace Engineering and participate in research work at UF. I will continue my studies to the Ph.D. level and expect to gain extensive research work, which will prepare me to become a candidate for NASA. This is my dream and goal for the future.


Why am I a good candidate? I am responsible and independent. I went through many experiences that have made me into a better human being. I am positive and always look at the good side of things. I am determined. I am a fighter. I am a dreamer. I am a friend. I have learned to love everyone around me and to treat everyone with respect. I am a good candidate because I love to work and cooperate with the people around me. I also cook and like to clean and wash dishes, yes, wash dishes. I am very organized and keep a schedule next to me with a list of things to do.

Attaining this scholarship will not only help me by alleviating my expenses during my career at UF, but it will help me really submerge in the college experience without having to worry about financial struggle. My whole purpose for attaining an education is so I can make this world a better place and contribute to the community and the world around me. It is my goal to continue inspiring others around me, as I have already done thus far by choosing to attain an education. I am now this butterfly spreading its wings beginning my career at UF.

Scholarship / Walk with me in this journey I call life. (Scholarship) [3]

Hello EssayForum team,

This is an essay for a small scholarship. I appreciate any thoughts or help.

Come. Follow me. Let me take you onto this journey that I call life. Come and let me show you how I have led my life for the past few months, and perhaps, it will impact your life in many ways. For a long time until the age of 24, I felt like I had no purpose in my life. I was working a full-time job, going to school part-time, living in my own apartment, and living my own life. Yet I didn't have a purpose. I didn't know where I was going. My days were filled with a dreadful, "Another day again." I didn't think that anything mattered anymore. I truly believe that many people feel this way because I have seen it with my very own eyes. I have seen it in my family, my friends, my classmates, and even in my coworkers. This painful yet dreadful desire to belong was unfulfilled and it was all around my life, choking me day by day, consuming all of me.

Stay with me, please?

It wasn't until last year in December when I finally realized my true purpose in life. I began writing a letter for a scholarship, and it was the most painful and dreadful thing I had ever done. I had never written anything about myself before. I had never told anyone my story; because I myself wasn't proud or didn't think my story was any better than my drunken neighbor's story. Writing about myself awoke this feeling throughout my whole body. It awoke my brain. It ignited my life, because then, I began to see what I had done in my life. I began to notice the good things I had accomplished. I began to see a young independent man who moved out at the age of 18 in search for his purpose in life, a young adult that had become financially responsible and that never acquired any debt, a man that was respected by his peers and coworkers, a man that was a leader in his workplace, a man that was a leader in his community, a man that helped his classmates achieve success by tutoring them for long hours, and a man that loved his teachers and valued education. I saw that man in me. I saw someone new that I had never met before.

As soon as I began having those realizations, my life has changed completely. Not only did I begin to feel more proud and confident of myself, but also I began to change my outlook on life. I began seeking help from self-help books that taught me how to think positive. I began reading more and more and began to change my wardrobe. I shaved my bum beard off. I began to smile daily before leaving the house. I began to inspire others around me by infecting them with my positivity.

I began to follow my dreams. I began to believe in myself

Walk with me in this journey I call life.