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Posts by bbcheesecake14 [Suspended]
Name: sestria herdianti
Joined: Aug 12, 2016
Last Post: Aug 23, 2016
Threads: 10
Posts: 13  
From: Indonesia
School: English Studio

Displayed posts: 23
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bbcheesecake14   
Aug 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary Article The Danger of Contact Lenses [6]

hiii, here is my paraphrase for your essay

However, there are some harmful effects of using contact lenses if people wear it in improper way >> Be that as it may, there are some hurtful impacts of utilizing contact focal points if individuals wear it in ill-advised way

( Centers For Disease Control and Prevention), do not use space after parenthesis

that's all, thankssss ;)
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Australian Man Saves More Than 2 Million Lives [3]

When James Harrison was 14 years old, he had a major surgery and needed 13 liters of blood to live. He was grateful for the blood he accepted due to saved his life. He made a promised to begin donating his blood as long as he lives.

In 1954 James turned 18 and he began donating blood. Doctors shown that James' blood contained a rare substance which is could stop Rhesus disease. In that time, thousands of babies were killed by Rhesus disease year to year.

James' blood was given to thousands of woman and babies. His blood was so important that his life was insured for 1 million dollars. In May 2011 James donated blood for the 1,000 time. He got a new record because of that, he helped almost 2.4 million lives through his donations.

James as of now urges others to volunteer and give blood. For his efforts, he has even been approved for the Australian of the Year Award

readitenglish.com/read/pTAkTE
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Utilizing nuclear power to satisfy interest for electricity on our planet [3]

The Advantages of Nuclear Power

Nowadays, the greater part of the nations on the planet are utilizing nuclear power to satisfy their interest for electricity. Advantages in nuclear handling have gave us a minimal effort vitality source, yet in the meantime nuclear force can be used against individual. There are several benefits to building more nuclear power stations.

Firstly, nuclear energy can deliver power without nursery gas emanations. It produces power without contamination, it is cleaner than numerous different types of energy creation. Basically, nuclear energy would be "carbon-zero" if the uranium were mined and transported in a more proficient manner. Also, nuclear crude material contains much a larger number of Joules per kilogram of fuel than vitality sources like hydrogen, shale gas or petroleum. Moreover, previously said viewpoints make nuclear energy as one of the least expensive alternatives for nation's energy politics because of the way that crude materials are broadly bounteous and available.

Secondly, nuclear energy is a moderately supportable energy source, implying that it can be utilized to create energy without squandering constrained natural assets like coal, oil or gas. When a nuclear reaction happens, it releases million times more energy as compared to traditional sources of energy.

To conclude, I agree that are many benefits of nuclear technology. I think, significant advances in nuclear processing technology are needed to safely exploit nuclear energy.
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 22, 2016
Letters / Write an email about yourself to a homestay family in that country [5]

hi Rami ;), here is my correction for your essay.

-Dear Mr and Mrs John, don't forget to bring period after Mr. and Mrs.
- use capital when writing I
- a businessmen >> it's singular right? 'men' is plural, so you should change it into 'man'
-finshing >> finishing
- memorables >> memorable
- I'm YoungMy name's Young and I come from Korea...
- Today, iI am writingwrite this...

ah i think it's enough, keep spirit yaaa!
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Independent Essay : "The impact of television has been more positive towards society" [6]

hii, here is my correction for your essay.

-formation of a dichotomy ofwithin the population intopopulation
-enlightenment it shares isare insurmountable plural using are
-they can achieve thosereceive the
-the television has only contributed
perhaps, thats all. you should pay attention for a little thing in writing. keep spirit and correct me if i wrong yaaa. thankyou :)
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 19, 2016
Faq, Help / Why are some people getting suspended? [44]

we can get suspend if we comment which is not useful, spamming, and plagiarism essay. essay forum already displaying the rules and warning if we do something that may be suspended ;)
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Discuss The Effects of Unplanned Urban Expansion [4]

hii, here is my correction ;)

grownig >> growing
umempoyment >> unemployment
accommadation >> accommodation
however,
absoulutely >> absolutely

thats all, thanksss
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / GRE Argument Essay : Accepting government funding for Grandview Symphony [4]

hii, here is my correction for your essay ;)

before establishing the neccesitynecessity
profile guest musciancsmusician s to peroformperform
and how succesfulsuccessful
10 year >> 10 years
corwned >> crowned
can not >> cannot
unnecesary >> unnecessary
possibilty >> possibility
symphonys >> symphonies

maybe that's all, thanksss
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 19, 2016
Undergraduate / Vassar Supplement - Advice whether it sounds too generic [3]

hii, here is my correction ;)

gothic architecture and treelinestree linesyou should giving space between tree and lines

there wasn't >> there were not just musiciansit was plural, so you should use were

that's all maybe, btw i really glad to read your essay. keep spirit in writing yaa! cmiiw also ;)
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / How to improve photography skills on your phone [2]

To take a nice picture with smartphone camera is not hard as you thought, but a very common problem is forgetting to focus. Few people who know to use manual focus, they think that auto focus is the best way to get a perfect photo. Every professional photographer is rarely use auto focus, due the fact that auto focus will fails and make your picture blurry.

Never use flash when you taking a photo, even with improved flash setting that are being implemented into smartphones. And also not ever use digital zoom because it lowers the quality of your photos. If your object is moving, you had better to use burst mode, it can multiple photos rapidly and helps you to getting focus.

But if you cannot take that perfect looks originally, you can improve it digitally such as editing. Editing will help you to setting the brightness, contrast, framing, and many more.
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / Scientific research revealed that there is an abnormal leisure time situation [9]

hiii, here is my correction for your essay ;)

vacations can alsois another way to solve this problem
This situation leadleads to increasing
you can changeobesity >> over weight
and also people >> human because, there are so many repetition so you should paraphrase it.

that's all, thanksss ;)
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, information and communication technology are really important in education [3]

Nowadays, information and communication technology are really important in education, due to the fact that technology can make lesson much more interesting and facilitate the to study.

The need for heavy books to be brought back and forth from school and home is no longer needed with technology. The books can stay in the classroom because the information that they need is easily accessed on a computer. They can browse or search the material using online resources to help them when doing their homework.

Learning the same exact way from the same person every day can really get boring. This boredom turns into a lack of motivation in the students. When they are able to integrate computer learning into their normal schedule, they become much more excited to learn. From educational perspective student who using technology will be more productive and faster to understand.

Student can study whenever and wherever they want especially distance leaner, learning through social interaction is important because, they have been surrounded by computers all their lives and know how to use the technology already.

And also in the working world, in nearly every job you may take, you have to know how to operate a computer. Teaching this skill in children early will give them an advantages and a learning curve for when they are adults.

In short, Technology is a versatile and valuable tool for learning and becoming a way of life. Schools can use technology effectively and for the welfare of students, teachers and society, it must be done.
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Astronaut nearly drowns in space [3]

Being an astronaut is very threatening itself. They spend a long time of their lives away from Earth without any assurance. Astronauts problem is drowning during a spacewalk, is where an astronaut leaves and do their job. They should wear space suit for protecting them self by extreme temperatures, provide oxygen, and pressurize the astronaut's body. The helmet is also very important, due to it helps the astronaut to see clearly in space.

When Luca Parmitano was working in the middle of a spacewalk, he notices water inside his helmet. He did not get worried, and assumed it was a small leak. A few moment latter water filled his helmet, its covering his eyes, filled his ears, then entering his nose, which make it difficult to breathe. Parmitano was afraid of drowning so he stopped working. At the time he moved toward the entrance to the International Space Station, he rapidly removed his helmet, so he can breathe again. His helmet consisted 1.5 liters of water, which almost drowned him.

Parmitano saved himself because, he remained calm and acted quickly during the space walk.
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / A Carnival, not A Crusade. Essay about the influence of Rio Olympic Games to Brazil [4]

hii, here my correction ;)

-in your essay, it's too much punctuation error. such as, space, period, and coma. be careful, punctuation is important for essay ;).
-However, Brazil is sufferinghas suffered
-It is first started withthe Start with economy.

thankyouu, correct if i wrong ;)
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Ear Care: Do-It-Yourself Wax Removal [2]

Everybody has earwax, it protects and cleans the ear. It traps dirt and other matter, and it keeps insects out. Earwax might also help protects against infections and the waxy oily keeps ear from getting to dry.

There are two types of earwax, that is dry and wet. The glands in the canal that produce the wax make too much in some people. Usually, earwax normally expelled or falls out of the ear or gets washed away. But, the abundant earwax can blockage that interferes with sound waves and reduce hearing.

Earwax removal sometimes necessary, but you have to use a safe method or you could get wound. Experts at the National Institutes of Health, NIH, suggest some ways to clean earwax. The wax can be softened with mineral oil, glycerin, ear drops, or hydrogen peroxide.

In short, do not ever put a cotton swab or something into the ear canal.

readitenglish.com/read/kiyooT

Note - you will be suspended if you continue posting WEAK advice in other students' topics.
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Should people be allowed to keep animals as pets? [3]

Caring a domestic animal is commonplace. But, how about wild animals? Government strongly opposes keeping wild animals as pets because it is really dangerous for us and those species.

Caring for exotic animals are difficult or impossible. Because, they often grow to be larger, stronger, and more dangerous than owner expect or can manage. They may bite, scratch, tear up the furniture also. wild animals have wild instinct which is harmful. In short, we can't keep exotic animals in long-term.

Wild animals also pose a danger to human health and safety through disease and parasites. Due to they can carry diseases that are dangerous to people, such as herpes B virus, rabies, and salmonella. 80 to 90 percent of all macaque monkeys are infected with herpes B virus, probably 90 percent of all reptiles carry and shed salmonella in their face, and almost all of wild animals are rabies. It is not easy to threat the diseases. There are many treatments for exotic animals because, they are not live in their habitat.

Capturing wild animals threatens their survival. Caging make them lose their freedom, instincts and behaviors that are inseparably tied both to their appropriate habitat. Often, they become sick or die caused by their owners are unable to care them properly. Decreasing the population of exotic animals are the impact, government should be more concerned with this,

To conclude, keeping exotic animals as pets should be banned if we want to increasing wildlife population.
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / 5 sleep disorders you didn't know exited [7]

hi iforsa ;)
these are my correction for your essay.

unexpected become paralyz ed
There areis no researcher
causes of sleep paralysis
The second cause is sleep

thankyouuu ;)
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Want to Lose Weight? Try Counting Calories [2]

A number of calories that we eat is important, over than one billion adults are obesity. The World Health Organization said that overweight is a global epidemic. Government reported that amount of obesity has not rose in recent years, but the worse is they have not go down either.

People still argue about diet plans to losing their weight, Dr. George Bray at the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Louisiana wanted to know if protein in food affect weight gain. From educational perspective those who ate a high level of protein gained slimmer body mass. His study on protein, calories, and weight gain appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Dr. Dariush Mozaffarian at the Harvard School of Public Health studies the relation on diet and condition like heart disease and diabetes. Maintain a healthy weight is about what kind of food and how much the calories you eat. Increasing amount of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, fish, vegetable oils, and nuts.

readitenglish.com/read/rip7zT
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / What Do You Know About the Common Cold? [3]

Some people says if we getting cold it can give us a cold, but Ranit Mishori as medicine doctor at Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington said that colds are most frequently occurring in winter, but not caused by low temperatures. Sneezing, handshakes, or coughing on one other would make common cold virus spread easily.

Sometimes, adult can suffered from common cold two or three times in a year, but youngling can get four or five times. Dr. Mishori state that common people assumption about our immune system will gained after we catch a cold, it was wrong.

Consume a lot vitamin C when you were cold, it helps you to decrease amount of days that you will be suffering with these symptoms. Honey can also aid to heal your cold, but Dr. Mishori not recommend you to feed a babies under 1 year with honey. Chicken soup has anti-inflammatory properties which can dilute the mucus in respiratory tract.

Dr. Mishori suggest you who get a cold to drink a lot of mineral water and tea to increase fluids in your body. He also clarifies that drink some milk in the flu condition will thicken the mucus and it will reduce our comfort.

readitenglish.com/read/kT9o8c
bbcheesecake14   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / A Social Network Aims to Speed Up Progress in Science [2]

University studies had an experiment about scientific network to related to academics and spread the information. ResearchGate site aim to make scientists more productive. People can access ResearchGate and they can find out about what other researchers made on before they shown their results. Investors appreciate the idea, belonging a former Facebook executive and the same investment group that put money into Twitter. So far, over four million people have signed up as members of ResearchGate.

Caroline Moore-Kochlacs at Boston University was users and she is doctoral adviser also. she like to follow other researchers and join into group pages that discuss different subjects. Previously, she is using Facebook but she said that all of people which using Facebook never discuss about science.

Ijad Madisch as founder of ResearchGate said that his site will merely worthed if scientist use it to help each other. But not for all users liked with it.
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