Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 & Task 2 : Participation Levels in Science and Education [3]

TASK 1 : Participation Levels in Science and Education

The bar chats give information about participation levels in science and education depens developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990. In general, industrialised countries was higher than developing countries in all catagories. In any case, there was a gradual increase in participation levels during 10 years.

Industrialised countries spent more years of schooling in 1980 and 1990. Industrialised countries need 11 years for schooling in 1990. Some conditions happen in participation of scientist and technicians, they was higher than developing countries in both years. Industrialised countries spent more money than developing countries in research and development. There was a significat growth in research and development of industrialised during from 1980 to 1990.

Averege years of schooling in both developing countries and industrialised countries was rose gradually. There was a significant increase in the participation of both countries in science. There was an interesting fact, although the spending money of industrialised countries for research increase sharply, developing countries fell dramatically.

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TASK 2 : The Trend of Work in Children

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Healthy Food support The Learning Process of School Children [3]

To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school.
How true is this statement?
Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Most children need healthy food to support their learning process at school. I think it is correct that children can study more effective if get enough nutrition. Parents have responsibility to provide good food for school children.

It is important to keep health for school children. Many activity at school need high concentration and strong physic. Activity like do math exam or other exams are need great condition. There are many healthy foods that give children lots of nutritions like meat, fish, and egg. Drink milk also supply vitamins and nutririons to brain. So, children can study effectively at the class. Another activity like exercise and sports are need support from strong body. Although children have take breakfast, it is not enough if less carbohydrate and other minerals. They can reach optimal results for ther activity with healthy meal.

Parents should understand that provide healthy food for school children is their responsibility. They can not just give money to the children to eat something. Nowdays, there are many unhealthy foods that sell around school area. Unhealthy food may cheaper than healthy food but they contains many dangerous ingredients that can make the children get sick. It can be worse if parents are do not care about this condition. They should pay attention with food that eaten by their children. It can start from prepare seriously the meal for school children.

Personally, I think every children are need support from healthy meal to study effectively at their school. Parents have role to decide and prepare healthy food that bring by their children. It is important to understand that the quality of food give critical impact to human body.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Customer Satisfaction levels in the US with Airlines in 1999, 2000, and 2007 [2]

The chart and table present information about customer satisfaction levels in the US with airlines and aspect of the flying experience in 1999, 2000, 2007. In general, the percentage of satisfied customer is higher than the dissatisfied. Courtesy of flight attendants become the highest if compared with the other aspect.

In 1999, customer who satisfied with airlines was reached 65 percent. It was double of dissatisfied's percentage in the same year. The percentage of satisfied was increased by 4 percent in 2000. In contrast, the number of dissatisfied was fell to 29 percent. At last, satisfied percentage was reached peek at 72 percent and dissatisfied's percentage hit bottom at 24 percent.

There was many aspects of air travel such as courtesy of flight attendants, courtesy of check-in or gate agents, price of tickets, schedules, and comfort seats. Courtesy of flight attendants always increasing in each period and the percentage is higher than others. It was followed by courtesy of check-in or gate agents that reach 87 percent in 1999, 89 percent in 2000, and 88 percent in 2007. The percentage of price of tickets was increased dramatically until reach 65 percent. There was interesting because no data about comfor of seats in 1999 and 2000.

Writing Feedback / According to the survey the married couples that doesn't have any children are happier [3]

IELTS Task 1 : Happiness Ratings on Married and Unmarried People in The US

The charts reveal information about happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and their children's effect on the overall ratings of married couples. All in all, people who are married have higher happiness ratings than unmarried. In addition, children effect the increase of happiness ratings in married couples.

Married people of all ages have high happiness ratings, at least 40 percent. These conditions are contrast with unmarried people that have 34 percent for the highest of happiness ratings. Married people aged 18 to 29 become the happiest with 45 percent. The percentage of married people in the 30-49 group and the 65-over group are similliar. Unmarried people under sixty five years of age have low happiness ratings.

The happiness ratings of married couples are related to children that they have. Married couples who have children under 18 become the highest of happiness ratings. Married couples that have no children are happier than married couples that only have upper 18 years old children.

Writing Feedback / Energy waste in a house is caused by many electrical installations and also windows [2]

IELTS Task 1 : Heat loss and Energy Wasted in A House

The diagram shows how heat is lost and energy wasted in a house because of air getting into and out of the house. In general, a house can waste much energy and loss the heat that caused by air cycle. The leaking of air that is released from the house is more than get in.

The leaking of air has a significant impact to heat lost in a house. Many rooms releasing less heat than others especially the bottom room. Heat rise up into room on top. Air leaking out of the house passes through the plumbing stack vent, bathroom fan vent, dryer vent, and kitchen van fent. However, air leaking into the house through the doors and the windows.

Energy wasted in a house caused by many electrical installation such as recessed lights, attic hatch, and electrical outlet. The number of windows affect energy that used. More light that enters the room enabling use less energy.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: In general, wind turbine has many components that have different function [2]

The diagrams show wind turbine's components for generating electricity and where the optimum locations it is placed.

Wind turbine consists of blade, wind sensor, and generator that are supported by steel tower. The blade can be made from fiberglass or wood as the materials. Wind passes through the blades and spinning it to generating electricity. Wind will be determined its speed and direction by wind sensor. The tower is controlled by the computer which can change its direction and angle. As a result, a turbine can generating electricity as much as 1.5 megawatts.

Locations have a significant impact to get maximum wind strength. Wind turbine which is located in highland will receive wind optimally. So, it will generating more electricity than located in shore land. Domestic turbine just generating 100 kilowatts for output.

In general, wind turbine has many components that have different function, locations where the turbine are installed has impact fot the amount of energy can be generated.

Letters / 'I want to be useful person' - Motivation Letter : My Motivation to Take Master Programme [2]

I want to be useful person and can give critical impact for community with my knowledge. In order to presents significant contribution on people and environment, I have to enrich my knowledge. After completing undergraduate studies, I realize that I need become specialist in particular field. So I can analyze complex problems that occurs in society. TU Delft is one of the best university in Dutch and the world. I hear frequently that people mention TU Delft as outstanding university and main aim from intellectual people around the world for study abroad. The achievements of TU Delft graduates are already spread in many country. They have a proven good track record and positive contribution for scientific progress. I wish I could be a part of TU Delft and learn lots of thing from professor and tutor there. I fascinate to urbanism since undergraduate studies. Now, I want to be specialist in that field. Lift up the ideas of urban problems is challenge for me. It is not just designing, but also how far I can analyze the complexity of urban problems nowdays and find out the solution to solve it. I think every design that produced by architect should give value of usefulness for the community and surrounding environment. Learn more about urbanism is impotanrt to understanding urban-rural development methods to formulate the accurate plan. Urbanization is key to move forward especially for the development country like Indonesia. The government and architects should pay attention to the rapid population growth that become one of urban cases. However, it can transform into opportunity if planned well. Most city in the world need comprehensive urban strategy to optimalize the urbanization phenomenon. Urbanization have implication to another issues like informal settlements. On the other hand, architects have to accommodate people who live in informal settlements and transform them into big prospect for the city. I argue we should implementing participatory design that involving people as subject and object in development agenda. We have to understand that there is no border between formal and informal segment in order to make better living space. This idea need to bridged by communal space that become interaction space for many types of urban people. I have designed many alternatives such as my thesis to resolve urban problems.

Writing Feedback / People should limit the use of electronic media to maintain relationships in reality [3]

IELTS Task 2 : The effects of Electronic Media

Most people use electronic media for their daily activites. There are so many negative effect that caused by electronic media. It is also affect many problems on personal relationships between people. I argue that people should limit the use of electronic media because we need to keep relationship between others in reality life.

Today people use their whole time to busy with their electronic media. They spent a lot of time to watch television or browsing internet, rather than have conversation with their neighbor. People choose to use their phone to make a call or send a message than speak each other face to face. Sometimes, we forget any changes that happens in surroundings because we are to focused with our business. Forget that we have a new neighbor or something changed. However, the changes are near from our house. Even though media have many advantages such as make one person and another become connected, people even more do not understand each other.

Electronic madia changed people lifestyle in the world. Although most people say that electronic media give bad impact to society, there are many benefit that we can get from it. Smarphone is one of electronic media that give much advantages for people to keep in touch regularly with their friends that live in other region or country. This madia also allow people to networking for many kind of business. People can make a lot of friends easily with their own smartphone. That can visit few website that connecting with others.

(253 words)

Writing Feedback / Two surveys, in which people were asked which communication skills were crucial in their job [4]

IELTS Task 1 : Surveys about Communication Skills were Essential in People's Job

The table presents information about the results of two surveys, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their job, in 1997 and 2006. In conclusion, The highest percentage of communication skills for external is dealing with people. For internal, listening carefully to colleagues skills become the highest.

The table reveals many skills devided by communication with for, external or internal within company. In 2006, people that used knowledge of particular products or services has increased at 41 percent. Similar with that condition, advising or caring for customers or clienst skill and dealing with people skill was incrased. In contrast, Selling a product or service skill was fell from 24 percent in 1997 to 21 percent in 2007.

It's interesting fact that all of internal communication skills were incrased. The percentage of instruction or training people and the percentage of persuading of influence others have same increasing number by 5 percent. Making speeches or presentations become the lowest percentage. The percentage of planning the activities of other was reached 15 percent in 2006.

(176 words)

Writing Feedback / Consumer expenditures in Europe / Traditional skills in the era of technology [3]

Task 1 : The Amount Spent on Six Consumer Goods in Four European Countries

The chart presents information about amount spent depend on six consumer goods in Germany, Italy, France, and Britain. In conclusion, Britain become the highest consumer in each category. But Britain spent the highest of amount spent for photograpic film. It is very interesting contrast fact that Germany spent a little amount fot photographic film and it is become the lowest amount spent of all.

The highes number of amount spent for personal stereos is Britain with 155,000 poundsterling. Germany and France have same number for spent their amount for personal stereos. In the other hand, the amount spent of Italy for personal stereos is higher than both countries but lower than Britain. The amount spents of every country for tennis racquets are incrasing, except France. This country become the lowest number of amount spent for tennis racquets and perfumes. Both Britain and France are incrasing in group of amount spent for CDs. The amount spent numbers of Italy and France for toys category are similar.

(165 words)
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Task 2 : Keep The Traditional Skills and Ways of Life During Develop Technology

In last decade, worldwide have many big changes for all the aspect of life. There is some good happens that many country become better than others. They develop their technology quickly like China and Japan. They also famous with their culture that spread out to around the world.

People often says that the local values and traditional adaptation skills will disappear if we focus to develop our technology. They believe that new values from outside will replace the exist customs. This phenomena is happen supported by the development of technology in global era.

In fact, there is many big country can keep their values during the national programs for empower technology aspect. Japan give us an example how they can survive their original customs from globalization's pressure. They also become the bes country of research for current technology especially transportation aspect.

In general, we can't let our tradition and local wisdom as identity are lost. There is many facts that shows country can develop technology aspect during keeps alive the traditional skills and ways of life. This is not contradictive way to develop both tradition and technology.

(187 words)