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Posts by Mayank7g [Suspended]
Name: Mayank Giri
Joined: Sep 5, 2016
Last Post: Mar 30, 2017
Threads: 9
Posts: 17  
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From: India
School: CMC

Displayed posts: 26
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Mayank7g   
Mar 30, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2: Dangers of the Internet - is it an excellent means of communication? [2]

It is generally believed that the internet is an excellent means of communication, but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information.

Internet and Web Security



There is no doubt that today Internet is the need of every individual. Some people believed that the internet is an eminent source of communication while the other argues that it is not the best place to find information. In my opinion, the Internet is the boon for the society if used in an efficient manner. I will discuss both views in my essay.

On the one hand, people who believe that the Internet is not the place where one can get facts and figures might argue that there are lots of web scam happening these days. This is because there are websites which look like genuine, however, in actual they have been operated by hackers to hack the computers and try to steal some information from our computer. For instance, one newspaper gave an evidence that each day, at least 10% population around the world gets hacked on the network. The vulnerability of computers can be suppressed if one should aware about the security of our computer. As a result, the Internet will be the safest place to surf and find the information.

On the other hand, in my view if internet is used in an efficient manner, there is hardly anything which it cannot answer. The reason for this is in the contemporary world for students it is the primary source of information as they get the answer of any question on it. For example, in a recent survey, it is observed that the numbers of students taking tuitions are subsequently decreased and they have started learning through the Internet. As a consequence of this, they are able to more deep thrive the topics they study. Therefore, it depends on the individuals that how they take advantage of the network source available to them.

In conclusion, despite the danger of web security which Internet can create, this is my firm belief that if used in the befitting manner it can be a real asset for the society.
Mayank7g   
Mar 30, 2017
Student Talk / Is it necessary to learn English? [38]

Yes, English is very important nowadays as it is an international language and it helps you to communicate with any other people in the world.
Mayank7g   
Mar 29, 2017
Writing Feedback / Non-scientific subject is not important? [4]

Hi Chan,

There are lots of grammatical mistakes and proper sentence formation is not there.

In this way, Introduction can be written
Everyone has their own talent, either it's art, sport, or any other field. That's why many people believe that to become an expert in one's field,
Mayank7g   
Mar 28, 2017
Writing Feedback / Learning to play team sports is an important part of a child's education. [3]

Learning to play team sports is an important part of a child's education.
Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.


Sports Education



There is no doubt that sports are as important as education to build any individual. While it is argued that it is necessary to learn team sports for children during their education period. In my opinion, it is quite important to do such activity while growing up. I will explain this in my essay.

Team sports should be an essential part of an education curriculum. This is because in this way children will learn how to apply themselves in a team. For example, If, a child will learn how to perform in a team through sports he will grasp that quickly and will be groomed up in a better team member on any field in future. However, if they do not participate in such activity then they might not develop such skills and as a consequence of this, they might fail to perform in a team in their future.

Furthermore, playing together in a team teach you many lessons like helping your partner, understanding everyone's strong and weak point. Due to these reasons, individual learns to perform at a time of crisis. For instance, Sundar Pichai who is the CEO of the Google admits in his blog that he learned team building skills from cricket which is an eleven member team sports. Thus, if we do not learn how to work in a team in adolescence then we might struggle in future.

In conclusion, although education is necessary, however, team building acting activity is equally important to learning different skills like knowing strength and weakness of team member and applying yourself in the tough situations.
Mayank7g   
Mar 27, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Recent figures shown an increase in violent crime among youngsters [2]

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers

Youth Wrong Path



Youths are the building blocks of any developing nation. However, recently it is observed that infants are committing many crimes. Psychology professionals claim that it is due to the lack of parenting and teaching effect. In my opinion, I completely agree with the argument and I will explain this in my essay.

Firstly, Parents are so busy in their life today that they are not giving focus on their children. This is because, they have found the alternative for parenting in the form of day care and due to this, the children's are not getting proper care and etiquettes when they are growing up. As a result, they didn't attach much with their parents and comes in the contacts of cheap people, who do a crime like pick pocketing, bullying people for money, which leads them to commit crimes too. For instance, children's of both working parents are less groomed than comparing to those who have their single parent working. This problem can be resolved if one of the members in families takes responsibility to take care of their child and keep an eye on their activities.

Secondly, Teachers also plays a vital role in grooming up children. Nevertheless, they also seem to do teaching just for sake of job. Therefore, students are not getting the proper knowledge and guidance which will help them to build a prosperous career. As a consequence of this, they are bunking schools and making contacts with the people who encourage them to do antisocial activities which are not only harmful to the society but also for the future of that individual. For example, In Pakistan, many children are quitting schools and getting trained in ISIS camps which lead them to become a Terrorist. And To prevent the youths from deviating their paths, teachers should guide them and teach them the knowledge which is helpful in growing them up.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that today youths are following the wrong path due to lack of parenting and teaching. However, these problems are not insurmountable strict steps from their guardians and mentors can help them to protect their future.
Mayank7g   
Mar 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / Cars on road, climate, and the level of pollution in many cities. [2]

As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done tackle this increasingly common problem?

Cars and Pollution



There is no doubt that global warming is the primary problem that world is facing today and pollution is the main cause of it. Pollution is directly proportional to the number of cars each individual is using today. In this I will provide some solutions along with the examples.

The main source of pollution is the harmful gases like Carbon monoxide etc. which emits from the vehicle. These gases then pollute the environment and cause death threatening diseases. This is problem because today the number of car is rapidly increased in many cities. As every individual commute to the office by their own car. For Instance, Delhi newspaper reported that in recent three years 40 percent more cars are running on the roads and subsequently pollution is also gained momentum in parallel. This problem can be solved if people start sharing their car and then individuals who are working in same company go by the car pooling option. As a result of this, there will be less number of cars running on the road and which consequently reduce the pollution.

Number of cars on road also increases the chances of traffic along with pollution. Therefore to solve this issue, it is importance that individual should also use the public transport alternatively which is very convenient and cheap today. In this they will do the personal savings and also help the environment. For Example, The government of Delhi started the odd/even rule in the city i.e. alternatively odd and even number cars will run on the road. This had an immense impact on the pollution level in positive manner. Thus, government of respective cities should also provide the solutions which will help in minimizing the pollution in environment.

In conclusion, pollution is not a problem which is insurmountable it can be controlled if every individual contribute towards the society by choosing the car pool option and also use public transport frequently. It is also the responsibility of government to take strict measures in protecting the environment.
Mayank7g   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - surveillance technologies provide individual tracking information [2]

Since early 21 century surveillance ... Governments in this case aim [...] those undercover observation .Its an opinion discussion essay You should paraphrase the statement then state your plan and the side you agree. You don't have to elaborate in introduction. Keep it to 30-40 words. You can break this sentence and use in separate paragraph However, I argue ...

Closed-circuit television ... As its size that is almost unaware CCTV ...This is because, CCTV cameras are more effective/efficient than security guards due to their comparatively small sizes. . To illustrate this/For example, In the Great Britain widely uses of CCTV ...

You are not addressing the task completely. Please use this formula if you finding difficulty. In opinion/discussion essays
1) Introduction para(Paraphrase, your plan and opinion), 2) Body para 1 (state the side u disagree or discuss disadvantages), 3) body para 2 (state the side u agree or discuss advantages 4) conclusion(include main point and state you view again.

You will not get the marks for writing more words. 250 words is the requirement. Try to write less and precise.


Hope this helps.. Keep writing cheers!
Mayank7g   
Sep 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / There is no doubt that everybody wants to be a famous person. Not everything is so great though. [5]

Being a celebrity- such as famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits.

Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefits or problems?


There is no doubt that everybody wants to be a famous person. However, there are always pros and cons of being popular personality. I believe there are more positive than negative of being a celebrity. I will support my view with the example.

Besides, prominent individuals despite being entertained by all the facilities and luxury, they do face issues with their personal lives. The reason for this is they will be always on news. Media always have an eye on them and keep reporting their each activity. To illustrate this, if anything happens in celebrity personal life like marriage, break ups etc. it is publicly exposed by media. As a consequence of this, personal life of popular people hinders by media.

In addendum, being a famous individual is itself an honor and proud feeling. This is because, youths of their country make them an idol and works hard to attain success, also government of the country provide special facilities in all aspects like travelling, medication etc. for them . This is one of the main reasons, that being popular, gives you more goods and blessings. For example, in India, Sachin Tendulkar is one of the legends of cricket. He has been honored by the name "God of Cricket" and also gained respect worldwide. As a result, celebrities are treated with love and affection all over the world.

In conclusion, while there are disadvantage of being famous, such no personal life and being in news always these must be weighed against the respect and luxury benefits that being a celebrity offers. Personally, I feel that these benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Mayank7g   
Sep 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / An Assistance Request from More Capable Essay Writers - the impact of social media on society [2]

Hi please find comments,

Start like this.
In recent years, popularity of social media has been increased.

then it is an opinion essay- You should take your stan in the introduction para. like In my opinion, I agree or disagree with the statement

You can also use To illustrate.. in place of for example as it is repeated in different paragraph.

Try to maintain the flow in paragraph. Linking of sentence missing.

You can keep 4-5 sentence in para that works fine.

keep writing it will gradually improve. Good Luck!
Mayank7g   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / There is no doubt that talented individual lives sophisticated lives, and some of them are overpaid. [5]

Some people feels that entertainers(e.g filmstar, pop musicians, sports stars etc.) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree?
Which type of job should be highly paid?


There is no doubt that talented individual lives sophisticated lives. While some people argue they have been overpaid. In my opinion, I agree with the statement and in this essay I will support my view with the examples.

At the outset, Celebrities have been heavily paid, which unbalance the economic stability. This is because, blind fan following of the people, they pay huge amount to watch their stars performing. Therefore, due to the public support they raise their show price to earn more money. For example, Salman Khan in India charges 1 crore for an episode and TRP of that show is highly rated. As a result, Entertainers with their big income provide all the luxury to themselves which a common man cannot afford and resulting in economic disparity in the society.

Furthermore, there are many jobs which have been underestimated and underpaid. To illustrate this, profession like Teaching, Medical Science, Army etc. are the ones which need to be paid high. The reason for this is, people who are teacher, doctors, army person and doing their jobs, devoting their time for the welfare of their country and its people should earn more income compare to others. As a consequence of this, highly paid should be based on the importance of work the individual is performing.

In conclusion, although entertainers are paid huge amount through their concert and events. In my view, there are other professions which contribute to the society in valuable manner and they deserve to be paid high.
Mayank7g   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The importance of teaching children how to distinguish right and wrong is undeniable [5]

Hi..

In your introduction you have not completely paraphrased you topic..

There is no doubt, youngsters,at an early age should learn to distinguish ...

In your second para, you have not clearly express your view "for example you wrote proper punishment, you have to explain what type of punishment"

I hope this helps, keep writing.
Mayank7g   
Sep 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / ielts Writing Task 2: Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? [3]

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

Travelling is become the part of humans livelihood and in recent years, this has been gained a momentum. I will discuss why there is a tremendous increase of it and also the advantage of being a part of journey in my essay.

Today, there is a rapidly growth among commuters. The main reason of this is the tight schedule of people in their daily lives and lot of work commitments, due to which it is hard for them to spend time with their family and as a result, they plan vacations in very short time intervals. Another reason why people are travelling more is to release tension from their work and give themselves a break from the continuous working hours. These are all the factors which encourage individual to plan a long distance travel.

There are many advantages of being a part of travel trip. One of the main benefit of travelling is it introduces you with the different people along the journey which help you to know different people, their culture and It also helps you to relax your mind and keeps you away from all the hectic of your life. For example, recently, famous internet blog have claimed that, elite business person plan one vacation trip in every quarter of a year which helps them to keenly focus on their work. Apart from this, people can also enjoy the different cuisine, picturesque places, etc. These are all the positive aspects of having a trip.

In conclusion, it seems it is essential to take part in travelling which keep your body relax and healthy. Therefore, In future I see more and more people planning their travel and giving themselves a break from work.
Mayank7g   
Sep 9, 2016
Letters / The requesting letter in regard to some important papers which have been left at the hotel. [2]

Hi. It is good you used paragraphs to accomplish task..

Here are some suggestions,

Unfortunately, I am writing you to report a loss of my important documents, that I forgot to pick up from the place while travelling at you recently .

At the outset, please take a note that my room... Please describe simple scenario. It is bit difficult to understand right now

Like in last paragragraph also you can simply write this..
I would be grateful if you may please look into the aforesaid matter most urgently

Your Yours faithfully
Mayank7g   
Sep 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / In this modern era, we are unknowingly using products which create a lot of useless material [4]

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why so you think this is happening? What can government do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Today the most serious problem is the global warming and waste from industries and daily lives are its major contributors. Since we live in a modern era, we unknowingly are using products which produce lot of useless material. I will further discuss this briefly in my essay.

At the outset, producing waste has been a habit these days. The foremost reason of this is the use of plastic bags for carrying goods from shops, Everyday millions of people do shopping and produces tons of waste. Furthermore, since the development in industries have been increased their contribution for producing rubbish have also been increased. Recently newspaper claimed that, IT industries comparing to their last year annual waste report are producing 40% more litter this year and this included elements like silicon, titanium etc. which are harmful for environment.

In addendum, Government have to take some strict measures to reduce the amount of useless item have been produced. Firstly, they should ban the plastic polybags and should provide the alternative solution like eco-friendly bags to carry products. Secondly, they should start the campaign program to aware the people about harmful effects of waste they are generating in their daily lives. At last, Government should provide some limitation on manufacturing number of products in industries.

In conclusion, to keep the environment clean is our responsibility and this will only possible if we use the products which are not harmful and can easily recycled. Government should also have to be join hands with people to solve the problem of rubbish.
Mayank7g   
Sep 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Ielts Writing Task 2. Some people believe children are given too much free time. feel this time.. [2]

Some people believe children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work, HOw do you think children should spend their free time.

As we all know children are the future of our society. However, few individuals argue that they should utilize their spare time in study. In my opinion children should spend their time in sports activity. To support my opinion I will further explain in my essay.

Childhood is the vital period for children to develop their mental and physical strength. At this time children develop their mind and playing sports is the best exercise for the mind. Therefore, if we keep them indulge in only school activity then there are possibilities that they will become dull. To illustrate, in a recent survey of famous newspaper it is observed that ratio of children who participate more in sports are more creative than those who do not. As a result, it is necessary to give time for the physical activity then being busy in study always.

Children become tired due to whole day school activity and need fresh air to refresh their mind. This is because, most children feel lousy all day in comparison of those who take part in outdoor games. Furthermore, playing games will increase the concentration level and youths will more focus on their studies. For example, in my school days I was a fitness freak and this helps me to increase my level of studies and securing good grades. Therefore, youngsters should utilize their free time in physical activities.

In conclusion, it is very necessary to balance the study with the physical activity as both are equally important for the children as far as their growth is concern.
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