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essay on: Tai Chi Chuan, HUMILITY and respect for others

4 - This is a very well written essay. It is organized, and not a cliched essay :) Good work!...

Undergraduatelilguster - Oct 25, 2009jessybomb16 - Oct 25, 2009
UF Application: "My graphic design class - an influential experience."

4 - Your revisions are coming along nicely, but I would like to suggest a few things. In the first paragraph...

Undergraduatekdav55 - Oct 24, 2009jean253 - Oct 25, 2009
Common Application Essay: The Life of a Mind Detective

17 - Thank you so much. I'll read it again and again...try to tight up...

Undergraduateayida365 - Oct 2, 2009ayida365 - Oct 25, 2009
Things I Have Learned from Hospitals -- personal statement

4 - I'm not sure about the school you're applying to, but I don't think most college application essays require titles,...

Undergraduatealim123 - Oct 24, 2009Vulpix - Oct 25, 2009
Common app Essay--- like a basketball game

4 - Good job! I was just wondering - what is the main point or example that your are using in...

Undergraduatejiji2010 - Oct 25, 2009nadabatu - Oct 25, 2009
'the best educational setting' - Emory University Supplement

5 - I rewrote my supplement. Its 62 words over the limit. How can i narrow it down? Also, on my...

Undergraduateangie127 - Oct 24, 2009angie127 - Oct 25, 2009
Hypomelanosis does not sound compicated to me!; UofM Diversity Essay

14 - Hey Notoman Is there a way to contact you by email. I wanted to get in touch with you....

Undergraduateworldbound10 - Oct 16, 2009Maira - Oct 25, 2009
University of Miami Essay! Tennis.

NEW - Okay. I like to write, but I don't know how to jam everything into 300-400 words. Mine's 398, but...

Undergraduatejessybomb16 - Oct 25, 2009 -
"asian cliché" - U of I Activities essay

3 - What started out as an asian cliché lead to one of the most meaningful activitiesand development of myself as...

Undergraduatelalalololala - Oct 25, 200910healyc - Oct 25, 2009
Becoming my own person: common app essay option 1

5 - Thanks so much for your reviews, really! I think I'm gonna go with onix and scrap this. Could a...

Undergraduategreenback - Oct 23, 2009greenback - Oct 25, 2009
Intrusive, friendly & polite; What are the qualities of a good neighbor.\?

3 - Last bot but not least Next day I drop by my neighbor to give my excuse about last evening....

Writing Feedbackbaitassel - Oct 24, 2009thinhtvdhtm - Oct 25, 2009
Six-Minute Eternity - Common Application Main Essay, The Hand In Darkness

9 - I like the original one"the hand in the darkness". Your hook is already very impressive to me~...

Undergraduatezouztingt - Oct 13, 2009ying7686 - Oct 25, 2009
Sponge Girl - My Emerson Supp essay

3 - Sorry~Forgive my poor English Is my problem just the language or grammer? Does the content work?...

Undergraduateying7686 - Oct 24, 2009ying7686 - Oct 25, 2009
Is it better to marry someone who is similiar to you? or different wth you?

3 - humm!! yeah.... thank you sir... i just realize......

Writing Feedbackjimmi - Oct 25, 2009jimmi - Oct 25, 2009
"A Major set back" - undergraduate essay....

10 - You should try tying this event to something that happened to you in high school. You also need to...

Undergraduaterrayyan6 - Oct 18, 2009gongan - Oct 25, 2009
Transfer Admissions Essay my 'NEW' essay to NYU - "My Valuable Education"

7 - First two sentences sound choppy. I would combine them with an "and", but that's stylistic choice so it's your...

Undergraduatehellokitty930 - Oct 18, 2009gongan - Oct 25, 2009
MFA Creative Writing Essay

3 - Hi I really loved your draft....the ideas are really nice. Post it when you are done. Looking forward...

GraduateBlueInk - Oct 21, 2009Maira - Oct 25, 2009
Bump in the road/Environment influenced me

4 - Yeah,I think you should add another sentence or two toward the end explaining how she replaced your father and...

Undergraduatealexabishop - Oct 24, 2009shirleytse - Oct 25, 2009
"I want to be a lawyer" - Florida Admission Essay

3 - Thanks my brother is going to help me rewrite it...

UndergraduateZachB22 - Oct 24, 2009ZachB22 - Oct 25, 2009
Common App Short Answer- Community Service

6 - "This is why I got involved with community service, an activity through which I was able to build houses...

Undergraduatedeadmouse - Oct 22, 2009xoxovicki - Oct 24, 2009
'cornerstones of a nation - business' - u of m-why choose to major in business?

2 - Hey, Maybe take out the "Since I was young" just because it sounds fine without it considering you...

Undergraduatek8255 - Oct 24, 2009alexabishop - Oct 24, 2009
'stash of brainpower and creativity' - U of I essay- extracurricular activity

4 - Hey, "During my early years in elementary school" sounds redundant. If you're talking about the first few years...

Undergraduateangie127 - Oct 24, 2009alexabishop - Oct 24, 2009
1st attempt at writing research paper - A Lit Review

5 - Yes, agree that you should introduce the subject you are reviewing in the first paragraph. This paragraph can be...

Research Papersqudos - Oct 8, 2009RuffNot - Oct 24, 2009
A 10-page essay on foster care contributes to youth delinquency

3 - thank you; i'll do that and see what happens...

Essaysbw565 - Oct 22, 2009bw565 - Oct 24, 2009
Teaching in High-needs, low income communities.

3 - You are, first of all, remarkable for wanting to take this on. I applaud you for that. This...

UndergraduatePhillTol - Oct 24, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 24, 2009
Common App short answer: 150 words "OAKLAND ROYALS"

2 - Your paragraphs looks great! You did a great job expressing your experience in a nice short answer. Only...

Undergraduatekyleroland - Oct 24, 2009PatelJ - Oct 24, 2009
Never judge anything by its appearance

13 - See? That sounds so much better and fits in better now with the rest of what you are saying....

Undergraduatehylacy - Sep 26, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 24, 2009
MIT the world you come from essay

4 - Because he's returned to China every summer, I think it's very much a significant part of his world....

Undergraduateanniebiotic - Oct 18, 2009umarker - Oct 24, 2009
"to become the best dentist possible" - U OF M SHORT ANSWER

7 - yea it did thanks soo much!...

Undergraduaterrayyan6 - Oct 17, 2009rrayyan6 - Oct 24, 2009
Bucknell Essay; life along with death has always interested me

2 - I'd take out of the part about Mr. Zimmerman. Right now it seems as if the only reason you...

UndergraduateLorxX099 - Oct 24, 2009mmmargarita - Oct 24, 2009
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