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'volunteering at local schools' - UC prompt#2 - Helping people

2 - Good evening :) I think you've got really good content here; you describe what experience/event you are proud...

Undergraduatemember123 - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 23, 2008
'one cannot do everything, one can do something' - UT Austin- issue of importance

2 - Good evening :) This is a wonderful essay! I only have a couple of suggestions: "...in 9th...

UndergraduateJamandaJuice - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 23, 2008
How to properly place the quotation which is referring to Enderun?

2 - Good evening :) You should consult your required citation style for final formatting questions, but I believe the...

Grammar, Usageeng1 - Nov 23, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 23, 2008
"Linked to my grandfather's presence" -UC prompt 1

2 - I think this is a great piece, especially that first paragraph. You acknowledge and answer every facet of the...

Undergraduatesurfsandiego - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 23, 2008
"The person, my grandpa" - UC prompt #2

2 - Good evening :) Since you didn't explain what type of assistance you were seeking, I have made some...

Undergraduatelyndn21 - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 23, 2008
"I think Florida State is perfect" - FSU essay

2 - I think your content is a great answer to the prompt. You take each character trait and evaluate and...

Undergraduatealexanderstodda - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 23, 2008
Writing an essay on "the iron men" by farley mowat

2 - Good evening :) Congratulations on going back to school! It will be a wonderful experience. First off, to...

Essayskrissygirl - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 23, 2008
"There is one who leads and there is one who follows." - admission essay

4 - I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with the university or their admissions procedures and requirements. Can you post the prompt...

Undergraduatektjhmj - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
I have already previewed life at Penn State and absolutely loved it - summer experience

4 - I think once you've done the mechanical/grammatical polishing, it will be a great piece. Take a deep breath and...

Undergraduateeleankel - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
"I had to reach the finish line." - Help with Prompt 2

2 - Good evening :) I think you've got a good start here, but the focus is in the wrong...

Undergraduatelilibeth91760 - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
questions on UC personal statement

2 - Good evening :) I think that answering an essay prompt with a complete sentence to begin with is...

Undergraduateskjw25 - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
Biology Creative Essay

2 - Good evening :) What can we help you with here? What kind of assistance are you seeking? ...

Writing Feedbackmonee2 - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
Gastronomy is much more than just a hobby for me - extracurricular mini-essay

4 - Good afternoon :) As I stated before, watch what you start your sentences off with. Avoid beginning your...

Undergraduatemichel92 - Nov 18, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
"our district championship" - Common App Elaboration--150 words.

2 - Good afternoon :) This is a very good short response. The only thing I can see is to...

Undergraduatebhangra369 - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
help with essay #1: experience with soup kitchen

4 - Since you asked for corrections, that was all I provided in the first posting :) I think it...

Writing Feedbackdatanator - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
My Undergraduate essay to FSU

2 - Good afternoon :) I think your content answers the prompt well, and it is organized, but there are...

Undergraduatelivefromthe850 - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
Why Energy Engineering? - Will you review my admission essay

2 - Good morning :) As you didn't include the prompt/assignment for this piece, I have edited the first section...

Undergraduateawaazdev - Nov 22, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
"Helping Sebastian" - UC Prompt #1

2 - Good morning :) As you didn't include the prompt or what type of assistance you are seeking, I...

UndergraduateKaytee17 - Nov 21, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
'art in my life' - Florida State .."Vires Artes Mores"

2 - Good morning :) Your opening is very strong; it works well. The quote highlights your meaning well; I...

Undergraduateavalleau1 - Nov 21, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
The Indian society, help with prompt #1....

4 - That sounds like it will be an effective addition; make sure that you include enough detail to tell the...

Undergraduatedatanator - Nov 21, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 22, 2008
ADVANTAGES OF CITY LIVING AND COUNTRY LIVING, can you help me with this?

NEW - Some people, say that living in the countryside is the best choice, because is better for your heath. But...

Writing Feedbackjavier5555 - Nov 22, 2008 -
USC Short question - swimming activity

NEW - Tell us about an activity that is important to you, and why. To begin with, all students face...

UndergraduateFYI - Nov 22, 2008 -
Grandparents had spent great portion of their hard earned saving to buy house and car for their son

3 - Thank you so much for your advice. I will definitely work harder for more improvement....

Undergraduatelayaili - Nov 20, 2008layaili - Nov 22, 2008
The book Ishmael - An Idea on a thesis and introduction

8 - You're welcome :) "In the book Ishmael, written by Daniel Quinn, Ishmael consistently shows how our civilized society...

Book Reportsboonster - Nov 20, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 21, 2008
essay about experience

6 - I think it's great in regards to content and readability; your organization and structure look good as well. The...

Undergraduatem5456 - Nov 20, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 21, 2008
The Super Student, a person who had an influence on me - admission essay

4 - Michael Driscoll is my name. I thought I would put a little twist on the essay by writing it...

Undergraduateeagle6002 - Nov 21, 2008eagle6002 - Nov 21, 2008
Cross Country; most exhilarating experience; Extracurricular Activity

2 - Good afternoon :) "For me, Cross CountryThese are not proper nouns and shouldn't be capitalized. has been one...

Undergraduateeagle6002 - Nov 21, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 21, 2008
'I was two months pregnant' - A decision that has changed my life

2 - Make sure you are capitalizing the first words of every sentence. "so" should be capitalized. At this point...

Writing FeedbackTMcGee - Nov 21, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 21, 2008
Jackie essay - Demolish my essay or work with it.

3 - I think if you explain to your audience that responsibility is reflected in your life now, that will be...

Undergraduatejenchow1992 - Nov 6, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 21, 2008
Graduate Essay-Why do we need a Semiotic Methodology of Theatre? UNFINISHED

2 - Good afternoon :) As this is not within my area of expertise, I have made comments in regards...

Graduatecarlajayne - Nov 21, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 21, 2008
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