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FU Essay - Significant experience/Achievement - Revisions Needed

3 - Thanks for the input....

Undergraduateahhitsj0e - Nov 18, 2008ahhitsj0e - Nov 18, 2008
'Growing up I hated to read' - Fashion Institute of Technology essay

2 - Good evening :) In regards to flow, there are a few things that you can make sure of...

Undergraduatesunsetswitheli - Nov 18, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 18, 2008
Taking action against moral injustice - English Essay Gr. 12 Level

3 - You're very welcome. This is a very importance stance, and this sentence needs to be included somewhere in...

Writing FeedbackGeist - Nov 17, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 18, 2008
Study abroad program in Nicaragu - Uc Prompt #2. Need Complete Revision

2 - First, make sure your words and sentences aren't redundant. For example, "I started thinking about how I felt before...

Undergraduateveesualize - Nov 18, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 18, 2008
"DARPA Grand Challenge" - Lehigh Short Essay

2 - Good evening :) I won't ever "tear you down." :) Constructive criticism, now, that's my forte :) ...

Undergraduatevaibhav2614 - Nov 18, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 18, 2008
"the happy and healthy world" -UC essays #1 and #2

2 - Good afternoon :) In regards to the first piece, as long as it fits the word count requirement,...

UndergraduateAsapirs23 - Nov 18, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 18, 2008
"I can never know everything, but with what I know, I can accomplish anything" - essay check

2 - Good evening :) I have provided some general comments in regards to mechanics in this piece. First,...

Undergraduatepinks1026 - Nov 18, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 18, 2008
comparing essay: Machiavelli & Sheikh Mohamad Bin Rashid

4 - Good afternoon :) That is where your brainstorming comes in; the "hard work" of the assignment. Try brainstorming...

Essayssara - Nov 17, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 18, 2008
choose an activity that reveals something about you---needs proofreading.

2 - Good afternoon :) See me comments on your other postings in regards to mechanical corrections, as they apply...

Undergraduategcueva26 - Nov 17, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 18, 2008
Journalism - MACAULAY ADMISSION ESSAY: needs proofreading

4 - Good afternoon :) I think if you rework the essay to stick to your topic it will be...

Undergraduategcueva26 - Nov 16, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 18, 2008
Persuasive Essay Abu Graib Prison Camp-Need Help

NEW - I need help, I am a very WEAK writer. No prisoner should ever feel mortally violated and striped...

Writing FeedbackDDOWNS4 - Nov 18, 2008 -
research essay on novel "monkey beach"

NEW - I have finished an research paper on residential school and it is based on the novel, monkey beach. Can...

Writing Feedbackalip - Nov 18, 2008 -
'Gillian and Mum' - Creative Writing - help needs to be proof read

6 - I see. I've edited the first section and then made some general comments in regards to the rest of...

Writing Feedbackmissfilan - Nov 12, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 17, 2008
People with scars - UC Prompt #1, Too Off Topic? Inappropriate?

7 - Try avoiding heavy condescension. As far as I know, UCs do not like to see this (it's too negative)....

UndergraduateBloodweb - Nov 17, 2008RiceFiend - Nov 17, 2008
Because of his lack of English - Vanderbilt Essay - Revise/Critique

2 - Good evening :) First, some mechanical comments. Avoid using contractions in formal academic writing; instead of "it's," write...

Undergraduatemelodyv14 - Nov 17, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 17, 2008
From China - with College Education - Jacksonville University essay revise.

4 - Oops. It was another typo. :[ And thank you very much! You were very helpful! Have a good...

UndergraduateSui0915 - Nov 17, 2008Sui0915 - Nov 17, 2008
UC essay #1: Living in Orange County

2 - Good evening. I think you've got a great answer to the prompt here. You describe what it is...

Undergraduateskeim23 - Nov 17, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 17, 2008
Black and White personalities - UC Prompt Numero Uno

2 - Good evening :) A few suggestions. First, make sure you are properly formatting the titles of the books...

Undergraduatecutelilgaara - Nov 17, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 17, 2008
Writing is the basis for all education and is too often overshadowed in schools today

2 - Good afternoon :) What is the prompt for this assignment? Regards, Gloria Moderator, EssayForum.com...

Writing Feedbackd4v1d90 - Nov 17, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 17, 2008
People have different job expectations for jobs - essay help

NEW - Good day to you, would you mind to rate my essay, please. Thank you very much Topic in...

Writing Feedbacklayaili - Nov 17, 2008 -
'The lights flickered back and forth as I sat in my seat.' Personal quality - did i go off topic?

3 - The main issue I see here is that of tense. You switch back and forth from past to present...

Undergraduatemathfun1227 - Nov 17, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 17, 2008
UC Promt: 'sacrifice and adversity' - freshman applicants

2 - Make sure you are using proper spacing. For instance, "...next day , while..." should be "...next day, while..." ...

Undergraduateveesualize - Nov 16, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 17, 2008
I really enjoyed what I did; FIT(fashion merchandising)

NEW - Applicant : Date of Birth : Statement of Purpose Grown ups (Now I am one of them) often...

Undergraduatesaemilee517 - Nov 17, 2008 -
Trouble Getting Started on UC essay about my journey

4 - Thank you both :)...

EssaysElbozonic - Nov 16, 2008Elbozonic - Nov 16, 2008
'I knew little about my grandpa' - Texas Lutheran University admission essay

3 - Thank you so so so much. :-)...

Undergraduatelaurenroxhersox - Nov 16, 2008laurenroxhersox - Nov 16, 2008
Life is all about changes and lessons - FSU admisson essay

2 - Make sure to maintain the theme (in this case, strength) throughout your piece. You let it get away from...

Undergraduatebrefranzen - Nov 16, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 16, 2008
An emotional connection with the reader - rhetorical research writing

2 - Good evening :) Sometimes, mainly in creative writing situations, it is OK to use "you;" but you are...

Research PapersBrye - Nov 16, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 16, 2008
Philmont Boy Scout Ranch is the summer hike everyone in Troop 62 looked forward to. UF Essay

5 - Good evening :) I think your content is good, but the focus is wrong. The prompt asks you...

Undergraduatechatch15117 - Nov 16, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 16, 2008
Studying at traditional schools or via computer or TV

2 - I think your response is a very thorough response to the prompt. It is organized, well structured, and explains...

Writing Feedbackje2ks2 - Nov 16, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 16, 2008
UC Personal Statement - finding leeway

3 - I will do as you have suggested. I'm glad this one earned a passing grade. Thanks to no...

UndergraduateRiceFiend - Nov 16, 2008RiceFiend - Nov 16, 2008
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