Undergraduate / "to adapt to a new environment" - Overcoming obstacles and Excelling (SOP) [7]


Obviously. You should end the first para with something that is unique and that expresses the main message of the essay. Don't say something so obvious.

Simplify to intensify:
Since as far back as I can remember I have always found myself to become entirely dedicated to whatever goal I pursued. whether that may involve academics, sports, or any other goal oriented activity.

Also, find other places to say what you have to say in fewer words.

Don't use this "whether it was" phrase too much:
Whether it was being able to Adapting to a new environment and juggling between work and academics, I felt like I overcame the hurdles in my life quite effectively.

...to remain in at the forefront of this field, helping in designing new innovations for the modern world.--- please write more about this field you have chosen! That is probably the most important topic to expound. Show that you know a lot about it already.

:-)

Graduate / 'Physical Therapy more competitive' - : PTCAS Admission Essay for DPT Program [3]


Sounds like just another way to gratify the ego. When nationalism or religion or some other conceptual stuff becomes something you live for, it makes your life supremely important.

That is not a criticism of the essay, just an idea that came to mind when I read the quote.

Capitalize Catholic.

This is a very good essay. I think you could do a little more to tell why you choose this profession, though. You have 2 or 3 main ideas about why -- the support they give patients, the experience from childhood... I think the major ideas in the essay could be expressed in just a few sentences, and that would give you room to intensify the essay by adding more ideas. For example, i bet you learned a lot about the ACL when you had that injury. What other things have you learned about modern PT methods and concepts? Add more substance to this essay if you can. I think it is looking great, though.

Book Reports / The problematic and the title in the The Grapes of Wrath [19]

Yeah, this is an excellent assignment. Have you ever kept a diary? It should be super easy.

Are you still learning English? Is there some problem you are having?

Undergraduate / Chalk Handprints - UPenn Supplemental Essay [9]


You can kill this sentence and do something better, more meaningful. I know what you really mean, but you tried to mush 2 ideas together and it made this sentence stumble. Suggestion: Write a new sentence about realizing you could not settle for complacency with regard to the suffering in the world, and talk about getting A's, etc. in a different part of the essay.

In order to change the community, knowledge must be taken and implemented, and the University of Pennsylvania offers many opportunities to do so. --- replace this with a sentence that means something. I know the sentences that follow express its meaning, but let this sentence be meaningful, too. Right now it says something that is too general.

Okay, the activities you listed in this essay are great -- Social Impact Consulting group, etc. -- but I think the intro and conclusion are uninspired. Don't take offense. I only say that because I saw some of your other writing, and I know it is excellent. This essay is one you wrote when you were not so inspired, I think. It reflects your great writing ability, but I think it does not have a solid theme. :-) Could that be correct? Does it feel as inspired as other essays you have written?

Undergraduate / "Overcoming Obstacles, to major in psychology"- Common Application Transfer Essay [2]


This is like, three cliches in a row. I think you should either revise this intro or just cut it out of the essay. It might be okay to cut it and go right to the discussion that follows.

I have gain ed an appreciation for what ...

Kevin Berg gave some great corrections, here. Thanks Kevin!

The objective I am trying to achieve by transferring is to work in a field that I enjoy and also makes a positive impact in someone's life. ---- this is too general. Before you revise this essay to get a final draft, I think you should "sharpen" your theme by thinking hard about what is your unique message and what are your unique goals. The goals you describe are too general. Wait for that breath of inspiration and express your unique truth. Tell about some specific goals.

:-)

Undergraduate / My Story of Overcoming Poverty for my UW Transfer Essay [3]


It's just my opinion, but I think this is a cliche. This is a bad cliche, too... it has strange implications, and I don't think it is good. If you want to mention it, do not make it such a central issue. You can mention that your parents and their parents did not get to attend, but don't make it the first sentence of the essay.

Eventually my mom met a man, and we moved in with him. ---- this sentence should be changed. It occupies an important position at the end of the first paragraph, and it should be about something central to the message of the whole essay.

You write well! I just wanted to make those 2 suggestions, which I think are very important.

Undergraduate / Statement of Purpose UT TRANSFER CHEMICAL ENGINEERING [3]


This is a great theme.

Your intro paragraph is boring because it is too general. I think you can make it excellent by introducing the theme of chemistry up there in the intro. It is great, because you are a product of chemistry. You were mashed up with mortar and pestle, and you were dissolved into a solution. Get inspired as you dig deep to find a brilliant way to discuss the chemistry experiment that gave rise to your action plan -- your professional goals.

Research Papers / effects the australian gold rush had on the economy [3]

Hi Dylan,
Like Eugene said, it's necessary to do some reading and writing. I could just tell you the same thing wikipedia says, but you would still have to read. It is not easier to read what I write than to read what is in Wike.

Google this: australian gold rush effect economy
That will get you good results.

How to get started:
All you need to do is read a paragraph and then type a sentence.

I know it can be hard, though; writing is weirdly difficult. Just give it a try! Do you have a reading that was assigned in class?

Undergraduate / "Embracing life and not battlig it" - Significant Experience & its Impact on Me [8]

Simplify:
They were left abandoned, with no chance of being adopt ed because the paperwork is complicated, yet they radiate smiles and laughter.

This is wonderful, and I think you can improve it by using the advice here. For this essay, I think a nice approach would be to give your MESSAGE at the start, the middle, and the end.

These three spots can give the same message in different words:
Start: Add a great, short sentence to the beginning of the essay... right before the sentence that is now the first sentence.
Middle: They were left abandoned, and have no chance of becoming adopted because the paperwork is complicated, yet they radiate smiles and laughter.
End: Remembering the humbleness of the children, I know that I can face every challenge by embracing life and not battling it.

So, I suggest tacking a great, short sentence onto the beginning. Make it one that expresses this central message again. :-)

one essay = one big idea

Writing Feedback / Writing about Heuristics that relates to your life [3]

Every day is supposed to be 2 words when you use it this way.

This part seems like bragging:
My peers and teachers all thought that I would go to college, become a docter doctor, and save lives. ---- not a mental short cut, just an assumption.

Another example is when we get back our exams, the first thing that a person would do is turn to me and ask what my grade is on the exam. I lied and said I got an A without looking at what I got on the exam.--- are you saying that you were so smart that you used a mental shortcut by assuming you got an A, as though you always get them? Maybe you did always get an A, but this is probably not a good example of heuristics.

I am pretty sure it is supposed to be something you use as a personal policy or a rule for addressing a certain kind of situation. Heuristic methods are like what people call "rules of thumb" which means a rule that is generally to be followed in a certain type of situation. It is not necessarily correct, but useful as a general rule.

Google this: heuristics examples

My favorite example of a heuristic method:
The thesis sentence should be at the end of the first paragraph.
Another example:
one paragraph = one idea

:-)

Essays / "disruptive social effects of learning" How to write a good introduction on education [3]

I've been staring at my computer screen for like the last 2 hours . --- I sympathize! I know what you mean...

I have to write a paper on how an education destroys while it contructs. I need to analyze the painful phychological and disruptive social effects of learning. ----- google these things:

Pink Floyd We don't need no education analysis -- I think you'll get great ideas.
Seeking knowledge every day something acquired wisdom dropped tao ----- check out the verse of the tao te ching.

Im really struggling with my intro, for some reason i always struggle with my intro when ever i write an essay and i always feel like i need to it before i move on. This time i actually manage to write three paragraphs, but i cant stop thinking about my intro.---- forget the intro. If you were going on stage to talk to lots of people, would you want to be introduced by someone who does not know you? No, you would want to be introduced by someone who knows you, so write the essay before writing the intro. Write the intro last, after you know the essay well.

Can you find 5 excellent articles? If you read 5 relevant articles, this will be easy, because you can give a paragraph to each and then draw a thoughtful conclusion based on the collection of ideas you have with all their articles.

Undergraduate / "to look at the positive side" + "UCF's beautiful campus" - ucf undergraduate essay! [7]

Promote is not good in this sentence...
and promote help others to do the same.---help is better.

Divide the first essay into a few paragraphs.

I think you have a GREAT writing style, and bilingualism is a good theme to use.

Since then I have visited frequently. Who wouldn't want to be a part of life here? --- I like this part.

UCF has high expectations which means, it teaches their students to be the best they can possibly be. ---- I do NOT like this part. Very boring and obvious, a waste of words.

Okay, actually, I like the first one, but the whole "Why did you choose to apply to UCF?" part is not good. It has no substance. It is obviously good writing, but you need to talk about your intentions for the next few years. Do you have some specific goals? Talk about them here.

:-)

Speeches / "on a person who has influenced my lif" - Help on my first speech ever! [3]

What cannot have any relation to you? The person? Or do you mean you can't mention yourself in the speech? I think you mean it has to not be a relative.

All you need to do is watch some speeches. It would be good to watch eulogies on youtube. I know that sounds like a strange suggestion, but it will give you lots of ideas.

You have to know YOUR purpose. What do you want to happen as result of the speech? Do you want it to result in the audience sharing some of the insight you gained from the person?

Start by choosing a person, watching some speeches, and writing some sentences here at EF.
:-)

Undergraduate / Anorexia: (issue of importance) - Essay E Ut admission [6]

Fortunately, it was not me the one with the problem but two of my family members who were diagnosed with this disease. --- this is not correctly written... and it'll be awkward no matter how you fix it. The thing to do is just cut out the unnecessary comment:

Fortunately, it was not me the one with the problem but Two of my family members who were diagnosed with this disease.

The thesis sentence is great, but I'll cut out some words:
...which is why I am choosing this topic to explain to everyone around me how to cope with it, learn about it, and prevent it. ---excellent!!

Great detail, great call to action at the end.

Writing Feedback / Why did Kimveer Gill murder? - Paragraph for Psychology class [3]


Cool! I am going to steal this "without further ado-plus-colon" form of introducing things.

Kimveer Gill was led to commit acts of violence due to various events ---- seems like a weak start. It will be more efficient and powerful if you just write:

Kimveer Gill committed acts of violence due to depression and hate associated with his need for control in his an increasingly unstable life, and his desire to be recognized in society.

Whoa, actually I made a lot of changes in that part above... look at it carefully.


Holy Moly. Got a citation to support this? Also, it's better if you write it in a slightly different way, because this makes it sound like they were born as mass murderers.

Many mass murderers have a background or interest in the military, and they include ______, ________, and __________. (need examples to support such an assertion).

The ending is pretty great because of the specificity.

Writing Feedback / Studying at home by using technology or studying at home. [5]


Ha ha, I see what you mean. You're right, it's barely visible.

Research Papers / Research paper proposal for diabetes & aviation human factors [11]

Karl, this is some very interesting stuff. Well, the fact that diabetics are allowed to fly in some nations makes a big difference, and I'm excited about your potential to write a great research paper.

So, you can include some discussion of the fact that no crashes have ever been associated with blood sugar complications, about diabetic pilots who have made great contributions, and so forth.

The truth is, you can take this in a few different directions depending on which type of research method you want to use.

You can use a qualitative method: multiple case study. That is something I mentioned before. I think you might not need to choose only one aspect of the issue if you want to do a structured multiple case study according to the methods of Robert Yin, and you could design your case study protocol based on the various aspects of this issue... taking on the perspectives of various stakeholders, such as pilots, policy makers, airlines, etc.... What i would do is go deep into a reading of case study research design in the books by Robert Yin, and as you read you will come up with great ideas about how you want the focus of your study to be.

Know what I mean? There are so many types of research design that some researchers specialize only in one or two types... for example, case studies are what Yin seems to be all about.

You should read about the various types of research design (you probably already have), ane choose one that is exciting to you. Put a type of design that you like together with this issue that you care about, and you will get something totally unique. Remember, though, that this best thing to do if poswsible is to take the "next logical step" in the "discussion" that takes form as people to research studies about diabetes and aviation human factors. Both of these topics have had LOTS of research studies done on them, so focus on the most recent or most relevant ones.

You have a lot of work to do!! Good luck with it...

:-)

Writing Feedback / We can now buy more things but lost our traditional values and customs -IELTS writing [3]


Good advice! For the IELTS I think it is best to be careful and not "bend" any rules. According to the rules of grammar, you are not supposed to start a sentence with a conjunction (and, but, or). But, people break that rule all the time! In an essay like this, though, it is best to obey all rules.


This is another good piece of advice.You are cool, northerly!

Here is something else:
However, on the other hand it is often claimed that many of us can not life live without some things.

live -- verb
life -- noun

Make this a complete sentence by adding some words: Mainly, this is caused by the fact tha t our personal values influence our behaviour directly.

But I know that it whether people agree with this idea depends on their priorities.

And In conclusion I think that we should ...

Otherwise the world would look like from a some kind of horror movie in 50 years. I am certain of it.----- wow, brilliant ending!! I never thought of it that way!!!! :-)

Undergraduate / Dr. Schorr has made an impact on my life [5]

For me, this kind of individual came into my life when ...

Comma, and capital F:
once said, "Friends are those...

And here is the correct punctuation for the other dialogue:
...and say, "I cant do it," but instead I would look at anything and say, "I can try my best, and I will succeed." Dr. Schorr indeed left ...

This is a great tribute to him. I think you should try to express the truth he taught you... try to express it in a single sentence, and put that sentence at the end of the first paragraph.

So instead of this
Dr. Joel Schorr is and forever will be an inspiration to me.

Do this...
Dr. Joel Schorr is and forever will be an inspiration to me. taught me ___________(be specific! Come up with a phrase that is wise enough to be worthy of him)

Undergraduate / "A Fathers Impact" ApplyTexas Application Essay A [3]

This is excellent. It is such a natural and (seemingly) honest expression of real feelings. It is nice that you allowed him into your life. I always think it is a shame when adopted people have so much anger that it gets in the way when a relationship becomes possible. Young parents often make mistakes, and it is good to forgive when possible.

If you want to make it even more impressive, cut out some sentences to make room for some discussion of how this will affect your career. What insight do you draw from thinking about finding your dad and finding your perfect career? What work will you do in this world? Whatever it is, it has some kind of relationship to this experience, so discuss that relationship.

:-)

Undergraduate / Special circumstances: socio-economic standing; educational goals - UT Optional essay [2]


Put your best foot forward. That is a funny sentence, but it means make sure the first thing you show them is something excellent. This sentence above definitely could be better because it is all "expository" with nothing intriguing.

I remember my first experience in a car with a standard transmission.

A sentence like that introduces an idea, but it lacks action.

I acted like a politician on my first day at the community college in downtown San Antonio.
This sentence has some action, but it could still be even better if I have a real, visible action verb:

I acted like a politician on my first day at the community college in downtown San Antonio, trying to make a good impression on everyone.

Then, it can become intriguing if you squeeze even more of your meaning in there with a hint about something:
I learned that it is not a good idea to act like a politician on one's first day at the community college in downtown San Antonio.---a sentence like this leaves the reader feeling curious.

So... try to do something intriguing with that first sentence to HOOK the reader's attention.

:-)

Writing Feedback / Studying at home by using technology or studying at home. [5]

I thought of something to add:
Entertainment is not usually used with an s. That is an easy mistake to make. So, do not write entertainments . I would do this:
Actually, they have a variety of entertainment programs.

:-)

Essays / Need an idea for a Evaluation Essay? [4]

Yes, you really can just type into Google, "What is an evaluation essay."

It's good that you do some research here by using EssayForum. I'll tell you this much:
You need to remember to discuss the criteria for evaluating something, and then maybe give a paragraph for each criterion.

If you know the criteria, and you know the thing being evaluated, you can just get started typing paragraphs.

:-)

Undergraduate / "I volunteered at the homeless shelter" - Struggling with UF ESSAY [2]


While I was growing up, getting hand downs from my big sister I was poor. Mainly because I did not want my mom buying me clothes she had other things to worry about such as a bills, clothes weren't that important. This part is unclear and muddled, but I really like the rest of the essay. I crossed this part out because it seems like it does not belong. Think about this:

What does the trip to the shelter have to do with the work you might do after you finish college. What kind of work do you want to do?

It has shown me that the contributions I can bring to University Florida are my leadership skills and dedication to my academic studies. This seems random.

Give a theme. Look deep into your mind and find the intention, the vision for your future. What is the significance of this shelter visit to that vision? Write about that in every paragraph.

Undergraduate / "Working at my first work" - activity, interest, experience, achievement in your life [3]

Sounds like trying too hard to use vocab words:
I inferred that all individuals lived with one parent and wasn't weren't affluent, but still had everything they needed.
I put the vocab words in bold. :-)

In that first paragraph, you talk about when you noticed that not everyone was affluent, etc., but the real point you are getting to is that you learned something during your first job.

I think you should revise the first paragraph so that it really is about what the essay is about. Do you know what I mean? I don't want to suggest how to do it; I think you can revise it to be perfect, now that the rest of the essay is written.

:-)

Writing Feedback / "We are changing the world with technology." (Bill Gates) Is this true? [3]

Hi Ida, I like the essay a lot. I guess you already turned it in, and I bet it was well-received.

You have a large vocabulary, and I think you usually use words in the correct way. You have real mastery of English, and now you can practice reading aloud to get used to the CONVENTIONS so that you can really communicated with people deeply in English.

Like I said, your vocabulary is already large, and I guess I think you should focus on using short sentences to make your point. You can have a very powerful writing style if you shorten your sentences.

It is all about making it easier for the reader to understand. The most important part is the thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph. It is still very vague. Adjust that thesis to make it more specific. Perhaps you should even list -- in the thesis statement -- some of the key concepts like gender equality and other concepts.

Here, I'll try to improve your thesis statement:
Hence, despite the lack of revenue to invest in advanced technology, more poor nations are now experiencing changes associated with technology. brings similar to their richer counterparts.

By simplifying it, we make it pack a harder punch.

:-)

Writing Feedback / "The Truth about the Tiananmen Square Incident (massacre)" - Academic history essay [2]

It is redundant to say "real truth."

I like the way Ershad fixed that first paragraph, and I also want to help change this phrase:
There are so many obstacles and versions about the...

Take one thing at a time:

There are so many obstacles to overcome in order to determine which version of the story about the Tienanmen Square Incident, which not only come from the Chinese government, but also foreign countries, so the truth becomes inaccessible and arguable. It is less likely that the real truth will come to light until there is a democratic system in China.

use this form: "not only ---> but also..."
They not only wanted to reproduce the truth for Chinese people, but also tried to block the flow of information.

And here is one last correction:
To conclude, with the fear of the go vernment, strict censorship and unreasonable repression, it is nearly impossible to know the truth under the China's communist rulers.

Writing Feedback / There are many pros and cons toward communicating ways; different options [3]

Look at this part where you need "AND"
I think books, radio, and television are the most effective ways.

"And" must come before the last item on a list of items in a sentence.

Also:
In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages of various methods of communication.

:-)

Research Papers / Research paper proposal for diabetes & aviation human factors [11]


You know more about it that I do, but I think if any sufferers cannot control it despite best efforts then it will be hard to get the policy changed or make an argument that it should be changed.


Yep, I had a suspicion that this was the case....

About tail chasing, that is part of this kind of process. I have done a lot of tail chasing.

You can't prove that there are any ideal candidates who will not have complications.
There is a first time for everything.
However, we cannot predict that any pilot will not suddenly become incapable of doing the job.

For a commercial airline, you have to remember competition. Competition in the industry makes it so that an airline will have a hard time selling tickets if it is perceived as having lower standards for pilots.

The truth is, they all seem to have low standards, in the sense that pilots now report being asked to work 21 hour days, sleep deprived, not being paid a reasonable amount of money...

Can I remind you just how ridiculous the idea of flying in a metal cylinder really is? Well, fly privately, anyway, and practice medicine, but... I don't think working for a major airline is the best thing is the world, and neither is flying for the military. It sounds like you have been dealt a hand that makes you very well suited to some things, though... so...

How about doing qualitative research in a similar area, such as working conditions for pilots at major airlines.

Or working conditions for military pilots....

You can do a multiple case study, using each pilot you interview as a case. Look up grounded theory OR look up the work of Robert Yin on case study methods.

Learn about grounded theory or about case studies, and you will be ready to explore. You can conduct as many of these studies as you want.

The problem with your original idea is that it tries to accomplish to much all at once. Proving a diabetic can fly reliably will be something you work on over several related research projects, perhaps starting with a case study project about the work lives of pilots.

:-)

Undergraduate / "Disappearing Acts, Art Eduction in Schools" - Texas State University Admission Essay [3]


This expresses your main idea, but it does not express a strong idea. Make it a strong idea by giving a useful insight. For example, you can say, "At least ten other expenses should be cut before tampering with the art program, because they are not as important, and these expenses will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

Or you can take a more philosophical approach and say, "Artful human expression is what makes life worth living, and none of the other subjects of study are important if we do not have creative expression as our foundation."

But do not just say, "art programs should not be removed."

like some school's school are not practicing what they are preaching.

:-)

Undergraduate / where from (dad) + quality (student government) - UC [4]

I love the essay about your dad, but include a bit more of your "world you come from" if possible. Show how your dad's influence combines with some other factors to produce the state of mind you have today.

The other essay is very good, too. I don't have much of anything negative to say. You write well, and I hope you'll have some time to tutor other writers here at EssayForum.

As I now look around I see many people around me who are dormant and I know what they are going through. I was there once. All they need is a stranger to give them a little push, and who knows, maybe I'll be that stranger.

Writing Feedback / "the doctor announced that I was pregnant" - Courageous action [5]

Maybe it was because of the anticipation of becoming a mother that made me so much stronger.

Oh, so... there is no introduction paragraph? These are all body paragraphs? That is interesting. I would teach in the same way: write those body paragraphs. Each paragraph = one idea

After you see all those ideas, you will know your main idea. It is a process of self-discovery, no matter what you are writing about.

Write that thesis statement at the end of the first para.

After you have written all the body paras, write the first para, and then, finally, the conclusion para.

:-)

Writing Feedback / Generation gap: your generation is different from your parents' generation? [5]


Yes, I'm sorry for not explaining well.

The thesis statement is confusing! ---> However these vast differences often put us in difficult situations when we try to come to terms with our parents on many issues.

However these vast differences often cause us to have different priorities and concerns, so we find ourselves in disagreement about many issues.

This is clearer, and I used a word that I found in 2 of your TOPIC SENTENCES: "priorities."

I think that will make it much clearer! :-)

Essays / how to start an essay on why am i going to college [7]


Alchemy! Take those three topics and put them into the boiling water. They'll try to escape, but use the heavy lid to keep them down in there until they stop struggling and... homogenize.

You need to extract the flavor of the idea soup created by these three. The point is to see what BIG idea is made when you combine these (in your giant cauldron).

When you know the OVERARCHING IDEA that encompasses the three ideas you'll express in the three body paragraphs, you know the thesis statement... the main idea. Put that idea at the end of the first para.

:-)

Undergraduate / "an intel officer" - University of Texas at Austin admissions essay [3]

Great use of the word splat. ha ha...

Your long paragraph, the anecdotes, the stuff about family and military service... you have the ability to make a strong theme... so that this will be a message about giving 100% and making life meaningful through focused work and good intentions.

But before you can do that you MUST cut out the fluff:


Sounds like a brochure.


Waste of a sentence.


Waste of a sentence. Don't waste a sentence saying you are about to write sentences with reasons. Just write the sentences with reasons.


All this stuff has to go. To say the least is fluff, of course is fluff, and it is super fluffy to say the faculty consists of experts in various subjects. It would be a sad institution if it did not have experts in various subjects.

Cut out the fluff, and expound your theme. That is the art of writing... like Miyagi pruning a Bonsai tree, cut out what is extra and make every sentence artfully open up the reader's attention to ONE central idea.

So... what is your theme?

Writing Feedback / IELTS ; Is it unfair to pay such high salaries to Football players? [2]

...than a normal person will do in all her or his its life.

Great corrections and guidance here! Jose, please practice by posting another attempt. Please post the essay again in this thread, and make all the corrections people gave you.

Practice by typing the sentences correctly.

:-)

Undergraduate / "many great things" - What special qualities will you bring to the UCF? [3]


Not all who apply are accepted. This is an unnecessary detail anyway.

rare opportunity it is not a rare opportunity to go to college in a city.

Either way the campus provides a inconvenience convenience to the students.

As UCF offers me many great things, I will add many great things back to the university.
This is not meaningful because the word "things" is so ambiguous. Specify the things the school offers and the things you will add.


This is excellent! So, what are the "things" you will add? I think they include a sense of appreciation, stress management, and study skills. These are good "things" to mention, so do not use the word "things ."

Writing Feedback / Friend for Life: writing class [7]


This (above) is very good, but I had to make those 2 small changes.

Plural: Friends are pretty important parts ...

Friends are pretty important parts of most people's lives.

I have a good friend of mine, a girl, who I am very close too.

She can tell everything to me, and she is a wonderful person who cares and accepts me with all my best and worst attributes.

She makes me laugh all the time.

Many of my favorite memories are of times spent with her.

I still remember when I broke up with my girlfriend, and I felt alone, so she came and stood by me and listened to me talking about my feelings.

Practice these correct sentences. Type them 10 times! If you type each sentence correctly 10 times, you will reprogram your brain and improve your skill. Each time you type a sentence, speak it aloud, too!. :-)

Faq, Help / Help to understand one of the rules (You get what you give!) [11]


Yes it is!

Undergraduate / Mechanical engineer: CMU application essay [5]

This needs some punctuation to distinguish it as the word being defined:
"Mechanical engineer" -- One who applies the concepts...

Carnegie Mellon would grant me a rich and rigorous curriculum in which I can achieve higher knowledge.--- this sentence does not really mean anything. All college students hope to have such a curriculum. Your job is to be able to know CMU deeply and know why it is a better place to learn your particular subject of interest.

If you spend a lot of time planning your future, you will have a detailed plan and very specific preferences about the environment in which you take your education. Go deep, and show that you are very familiar with your subject of interest and the related resources and faculty members at CMU.

:-)