Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A Breakdown Of General Benefits And Drawbacks Of Fairmont Island [4]

A breakdown of general benefits and drawbacks of Fairmont Island is revealed by the pie charts based on tourists polling. Overall, it can be uncovered that there are four favorite aspects as well as disliked ones. While the scenery and the local people have the most fascinating attractions for tourists, the price of accommodation and entertainment become the significant problems for them to deal with.

According to the information of holiday makers, 40% of visitors report that Fairmont Island has good citizens, and the other 37% tourists enjoy its breathtaking view. However, the island has unaffordable cost for living, and the travelers recognize it as many as 45%. In addition, survey shows that they do not find the pleasure of entertainment in the island.

Ultimately, the visitors do not feel that weather and meal are serious trouble for them because the percentages are only at 5% and 20% respectively. On the other hand, there are a few holiday lovers who delight the culture and accommodation when they visit the tourism places, at average 11.5%.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A Machine For Generating Electricity From Wind And Where It Can Be Located [2]

The diagrams illustrate a machine for generating electricity from wind and where it can be located. In general, the machine shows one of ways to optimize renewable resource whereas its installation may lead to several problems because of its location and its expense.

The machine consists of turbines made by fiberglass or wood, a wind sensor, a generator, and all of the parts are propped up by a steel tower. On the other side, this is connected to a computer device that can detect and give information about the energy that is produced.

The process starts when the winds blow the blades. As a consequence, the turbine rotates and leads to produce the electricity as much as 1.5 megawatts through the generator. At the same time, the sensor informs the direction and speed of turbine to the computer, and then users are able to see on the screen how much is the energy produced and the speed run.

Alternatively, to maximize the use, the machine can be placed on the peak of hill where the winds are stronger and more electricity will be generated. However, people also can build a domestic turbine and place nearby the house. Therefore, the smaller one can bring the output only 100 kilowatts.

(208 words)

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Famous People Like Celebrities or Athletes Almost Are Reported by The Media [2]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, Famous people like celebrities or athletes almost are reported by the media whereas the reporters also investigate about their lives to be informed. I argue that the media has done the right way while this gives good impacts and great perceptions for the audiences. However, the media also needs to announce common individuals who have extraordinary achievements or powerful influences.

The media provides good and bad information for society. For example, the media reveals several habits of the idols such as dating with someone, buying luxury cars, or beating other celebrities. All these activities are not significant effects and positive perceptions for the fans. On the other hand, the media sometimes exposes the great attractions that perform their skills or abilities in singing, dancing, acting and magic. In addition, some good news about athletes, who win in international competitions and get medals, have to be published to motivate people to do similar achievement.

However, I totally believe that the media needs to expose common people who are awarded because of their ideas, skills or abilities to the audience. For instance, Masril Koto, a person who has no formal education, becomes a hero at small village in Sumatra since he initiates to create a special bank for farmers called 'Bank Tani'. Next, his idea gains the good response from local people even national as he can help the farmers to improve their field by managing debt to buy fertilizers or seeds. Therefore, Koto receives two awards, 'Danamon Award' and 'Indonesia Berprestasi Award'. This good news is worthy to spread spirit and inspiring for other people to do kindness.

To sum up, the media needs to report the life styles or activities of popular people if the information has good values and positive impacts for people. Moreover, the media has to balance with conveying inspiring stories, so people can imitate the ideas or spirits.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: English and French Teachers Who Apply to Teach Regularly in Ontario [2]

The line graph illustrates the percentage of English and French teachers who apply to teach regularly in Ontario over a six-year period. Overall, at the beginning of the period, it can be seen that while both of the language teachers stood the same level at around 70%, French teachers had a stable change and greater than other which hit a low in the end of the time frame.

According to the data, in 2002 French teachers reached a trough of approximately 50% and rose steadily to almost 70% in the following next year. However, English teachers significantly decreased to 40% from 2001 to 2003. Then, both of them showed the different trend in the last four-year period.

In 2005, A gradual increase of 70% was revealed by persons-in-charge in French, and it rose slowly again more than 70% in 2007. In contrast, the other dropped to the lowest level less than 30% in the end of time whereas it had been slightly growing for two years at more than 40% between 2003 and 2005.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: A Number Of Young People Are Unhealthful To Undergo Their Way that They Live [2]

Many children these days have unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays, a number of young people are unhealthful to undergo their way that they live. These are maybe as there are lots of innutrition foods like fast food consumed in large number. I argue that the schools have obligations to teach children to do right actions for their health whereas the parents have to prepare and control their meal in home or school.

Children and teenagers need to be led to experience their life included how to become fit persons. When they are in surroundings of schools, teachers must give them information to broaden their horizons and direct them to eat only good foods or do sports, so they are avoided from illnesses. The tutors have to inform enough knowledge such as negative effects when people consume fast foods too much or important benefit when keep body healthily every day.

However, not only the teachers but also the parents have similar responsibility. I believe that parents are the first persons who have the greatest impact for children. There are some ways that can be done by parents with providing freshly and qualify home foods like vegetables as well as fruits. Mothers should prepare children meal for their diets or beverages and ensure the food come or bought from trusted place. In addition, they have to cook in the right way, so the nutrition does not lose. Parents also should always control, suggest, and remind the children to apply healthy lifestyle because children do not have many concerns about these yet.

To sum up, parents and schoolteachers have to collaborate to support their children undergoing happy and healthy lifestyle. The controlling should be in school and home so that young generations realize that this is very essential.

Writing Feedback / Three big problems which people who live abroad must deal with - according to their age. [2]

The percentage of people difficulties when they have to live in other country is illustrated by the bar chart. There are three big problems that persons must deal with according to their ages. At the first glance, people who are over 55 have the biggest problem in learning local language.

The oldest people experience the greatest difficulty to learn new language at more than 50%. However, the youngest individuals get the lowest percentage at about 30% in this sector, while other has approximately 35% of language problem.

The hardest problem which has to be solved by 18-to 34-year-olds is making new friends at over 40%. On the other hand, the people in oldest age face easier problem for making friends because the percentage is only around 20%. Then, other is larger proportion than the oldest one, at 35%.

Finally, in comparison with their language-learning problems, the oldest individuals have easier trouble to find new place for living in as it is solely 22%. Moreover, finding accommodation becomes the second serious problem for the other two range ages at 39% and 40%.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The Arresting Percentage of Societies in Five Years Ending 1994 [3]

The arresting percentage of societies who violate was presented by pie and bar charts in five years ending 1994. There were five reasons detected why they were arrested, such as drink driving, public drinking, breach of order, assault, and theft. While public drinking done by females was the most contravention, males were arrested higher than females.

Drinking activities were implemented the most by suspects. Public drinking was the first ranked, representing females (more than 35%) and males (nearly 30%). The second place, the females violating was assault approximately 20% whereas the males violating was drinking while driving at over 25%. Then big three, breach of order was done by males at closely 20% or drink driving by females was almost 15%.

Finally, the last known infringing that applied by females were theft and breach of order, more than 10%. However, there were over 15% men bad action such as assault and theft. Interestingly, the percentage of men arrested was larger than women, 32% (men) and 9% (women).

(167 words)

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Writing Feedback / Activity of Charity in United State for One Year is Revealed by the Pie Chart - IELTS Task 1 [NEW]

The pie chart has presented activity of charity in United State for one year. The chart is divided to become two pies, comparing between revenue sources and expenditures. Over all, it can be revealed that while donated food is the greatest income resources, almost all of sources are used to program services. Moreover, there is rest of total budget that is not spent for activities.

During one year, a very large majority of revenue comes from donated food at 86.6%. Then, the second inflow is occupied by community contributions at only 10.4% whereas program revenue becomes big three of revenue resources, at 2.2%. Finally, other resources are gained from investment, government grants, and other income, that these all are less than 0.5%.

Meanwhile, the USA allocates the donations for three major activities. Program services are the most popular activity for charity in this year, representing more than four-fifth at 95.8%. It is solely less than 3% for other sectors, 2.6% (fundraising) and 1.6% (management and general). Interestingly, total of expenditures is only $53,224,896 from total of revenue $53,561,580. Therefore, there is rest of charity total revenue at $336,684.

(189 words)

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The High School Attendance was Revealed by the Table in Three Periods [2]

The high school attendance was revealed by the table in three periods that were divided among 2000, 2005 and 2009. While there were four of school classifications, most of them showed a decrease of presence percentage over the time frame. But, there was a gradually increase in one school major.

Turning first to Community Schools, It stood at 12% in 2000, then slightly rose over two times of following period in 2005. Interestingly, while Schools of Community were the lowest in the first period, it significantly grew to 58% in the end of period, the greatest attendance among three others.

In contrast, two of schools were the higher presence in 2000, Voluntary-controlled schools (52%) and Grammar Schools (24%). In 2009, both noticeably fell to approximate a half of the beginning, 20% for Voluntary-controlled and 12% for Grammar major. Finally, there was not much different with Specialist Schools which were 12% of attendance in 2000. Next, it steadily declined by 2% and reached 10% in 2009.

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Writing Feedback / larger library, rooms reconstruction, road... - Task 1: Layout of Woodwards University Over 30 Years [4]

The map illustrates the changes of layout that have occurred in Woodwards University, over a 30 year period beginning in 1985 and ending in 2015. At first glance, the most noticeable change is the replacement of buildings to be united. Moreover, road and parking areas is altered to many of green spaces and footpaths.

To begin, the library has been built larger than before and has been joined with IT center room. In the east, in front of library and IT center, Science Laboratories were constructed which is union of Physics, Chemistry, and Biology Block. In addition, Car Park was altered to become Lecturer Theatre. Then, there are footpaths which connect between library to laboratory and IT Center to Lecture Theatre.

There have also been changed to the parking area and road. Just south of Library and IT Center, the big Car park was demolished and changed by Shuttle Bus Terminal. Next, new appearance Admin Building was erected beside of footpaths between those buildings. Beside the footpaths have altered the road position, green areas were also constructed to surround the complex of university.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: The Internet is Probably the Most Significant Invention of the Last 30 Years [3]

The internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Spread of the internet has substantially altered life of people in the world for the last three decades. It gives people not only many benefits to support their activities on works or studies, but also some harmfulness for humankinds. I would argue that this has both positive and negative impacts.

On the positives side, the internet presents easiness to get information, news, and knowledge because it can collect them from any source in the planet. For example, when students from university have assignments from their lecturers, they can search from the internet beside books, journals, and newspapers. While the internet provides the knowledge which is published from experts in the earth, students can choose based on their subjects quickly and fast. The internet also assists people in work world, such as banks, government institutions, and mass Medias. They need quick online connection to link to their patrons, citizens, and clients, so their relations will be awakened in reality or virtual.

However, negative site for society is about the content of in the internet, there are many websites which contain pornographies and bad provocations. Internet users are come from any different age range from children to adults, while the adult sites do not block their content or easy to reach. They sometimes solely need for agreement on just one click and allow whoever to access the pages. In additions, these days, hackers who can broke link of information become a threat. They can infiltrate, delete, or disturb data or information, so it will be so harmful.

All in all, it is clear to me that although there are great impacts on development of the internet in over 30 years, there are also drawbacks. The societies have to use wisely, then government has a responsibilities to control cyber world when there are negative contents of page webs.

(305 words)

Writing Feedback / Silkworms experience their life in five stages and spend about 10 weeks from eggs to become moths [3]

Life cycle of the silkworm is illustrated by the diagram and picture. At first glance, it is evident that, silkworms experience their life in five stages and spend approximately 10 weeks from eggs to become moths.

First step, the eggs are spawned and adhered by their mother on leaves. After 10 days, the eggs hatch and transform to be silkworm larva. To survive their life, larvas eat mulberry leaf, their favorite diet. During four to six weeks, enough long time, they are going to grow up and produce silk thread. Eventually in that phase, larvas insert its self to coil of silk to make cocoon in three to eight days. While larva is inside, it does not look for and consume food or drink. Afterwards, silkworm comes out from cocoon with new appearance in 16 days. In the end of stages, it becomes a moth with wings and has a skill to fly. The figure of moth is totally different with silkworm, people call it metamorphose.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: The Greatest Challenge for Parents Who Had a lot of Children [5]

In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past?

In the past, there were several people to live with many members in home, so they had lots of children and big families. They felt comfortable even had to share everything with the members and took more advantages than possessed in a small family.

The greatest challenge for parents who had a lot of children was money. They tried hard to earn big incomes, so they could fulfill daily necessities of all the relatives. After their children in school ages, they had to spend more dollars to send them to qualified schools as education would very important for young generations in the future. Parents also needed money to build their houses larger to accommodate relatives, extended the rooms for them, and bought some stuffs. Moreover, parents had to pay more attention which was shared to their children. They might be difficult to managing their tasks of works and listening stories of their children.

However, I argue having bigger families give more benefits for people. Firstly, Children would learn about responsibilities when there were some activities in home because members could divide it. This character would bring them to be more mature. Owning large families also upgraded intelligence of individuals. For example, when they discussed some issues, they would give knowledge or views one and another. Finally, when children had grown up, parents would not feel lonely because the members would be more and bigger. Furthermore, the children could collaborate to work together.

To sum up, big family would give some problems money and attention in particular. On the other hand, I believe the advantages outweighed the drawback because it created stronger relationship, supported and helped each other when they got the problems.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Country Allocates Budget to Develop Public Facilities [NEW]

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Country allocates budget to develop public facilities of city for their citizen. Some people believe that government has to build spectacular structures, whereas others think that it is more significant to use them on reforming schools and hospitals. For two of views, I believe that the fantastic building can show identity of city and become a business place, then schools and hospitals will also help human beings to access great education and proper health.

People think that state has to invest its money on developing special buildings for several reasons. Firstly, they can show the identity or image of its city. As an example, Petronas Twin Tower in Malaysia has been become an icon of Kuala Lumpur even country of Malaysia. Some tourists travel to Malaysia to visit the building for taking photograph or just adore the view. Not only this, fabulous structures are also built to make a central of business, such as shopping center, entertainment area, and tourism place. They will lead investors and give profit to the country.

However, I believe that the budget will offer more positive impact if the government estimate to improve hospitals, so society can receive health services, like qualified doctors, the best drugs, comfortable patient treatment rooms, sophisticated hospital equipment, and affordable cost. Therefore, people will never feel worry when they have to cure their illnesses. Finally, individuals have a right to obtain education, so country should concern on this issue. Pleasurable school, professional teachers, complete library, advanced laboratory, and good textbooks can support people to achieve great education.

To conclude, although some people argue that spectacular buildings are very prominent as they can become the icon and make profit, I would argue there is sufficient evidence to prefer schools and hospitals. Moreover, government should act based on need and interest of society.