vangiespen
Oct 8, 2015
Undergraduate / I wasn't entirely sure about what type of engineer I want to be - Statment two for UW-Madison [4]
Justin, you may want to give some extra thought to the reasons why you chose to enroll at UW-Madison. While the overall content of the essay is strong, that particular portion of your response to the prompt could use some extra work. Aside from the extra curricular aspect of university life, you should be able to mention specific academic offerings that you are looking to take advantage of while a student at the university.
Your opening statement is a bit confusing. Are you currently a high school student going into college? Or are you a college student looking to transfer universities? I am not sure which of the two you are because in the first part, you discuss your high school AP Chemistry classes then in the next, you discuss your interest throughout college. Which of the two is it? The advice you receive will also depend upon your current status as a student because as a graduating student, your focus will be different from that of a current college freshman looking to transfer universities. Please clarify that point.
You mentioned that you feel you can contribute a lot to the university community. Can you give any specifics or details as to how you plan to do that? The essay asks you to mention any contributions you can make to the community. This is your opportunity to share your thoughts about that.
There are a few grammar points that need addressing so let me get to that below :-)
At thebeginner BEGINNING of my senior year in high school
I had enrolled in AP Chemistryand , little did I know that class would influence my choice in a major.
and to attend aU university
that has drawn me tothe UW-Madison
but what sets me apart from the rest IS, to start off, I feel that I can contribute a lot to theU university community.
are thingS
while at Madison , along with any opportunities THAT arebeneficially BENEFICIAL not only for TO myself but to the community as a whole.
opportunities I plan to take part off
to taking partof IN the "Jump Around" between the third
Justin, you may want to give some extra thought to the reasons why you chose to enroll at UW-Madison. While the overall content of the essay is strong, that particular portion of your response to the prompt could use some extra work. Aside from the extra curricular aspect of university life, you should be able to mention specific academic offerings that you are looking to take advantage of while a student at the university.
Your opening statement is a bit confusing. Are you currently a high school student going into college? Or are you a college student looking to transfer universities? I am not sure which of the two you are because in the first part, you discuss your high school AP Chemistry classes then in the next, you discuss your interest throughout college. Which of the two is it? The advice you receive will also depend upon your current status as a student because as a graduating student, your focus will be different from that of a current college freshman looking to transfer universities. Please clarify that point.
You mentioned that you feel you can contribute a lot to the university community. Can you give any specifics or details as to how you plan to do that? The essay asks you to mention any contributions you can make to the community. This is your opportunity to share your thoughts about that.
There are a few grammar points that need addressing so let me get to that below :-)
At the
I had enrolled in AP Chemistry
and to attend a
that has drawn me to
but what sets me apart from the rest IS, to start off, I feel that I can contribute a lot to the
are thingS
while at Madison , along with any opportunities THAT are
opportunities I plan to take part of
to taking part