ah_zafari [Contributor]
Nov 12, 2012
Writing Feedback / Annual spending by a British school in 1981 - ielts task1 [11]
The three pie charts indicate the figure of annualspendingexpenditure ofby ancertainundetermined British school in 1981, 1991 and 2001 respectively.(add a general trend at the end of the introduction)
As is the case with teachers` salaries occupied the largest percentage (how much??)inover three3 years, while the least amount of budget was allocated tocostin insurance produced the smallest . However, the proportion of insurance spending was increasingly high.(this sentence is not clear. In addition, you should use numbers.)
In 1981, the school spent 40% of the budget cost on teachers` salaries, followed by other workers` salaries (28%). In terms of resources and furniture and equipment, both of them cost the same, with 15%. Spendinginon insurance only made up 2%.
After a decade, the costs of teachers` salaries and resources increased by 10% and 5%, respectively, whilethere were decreasesabout xx% reduction in those of other workers` salaries and furniture and equipment was observed in 1991. .
ComparedComparing to the obtained data inthose of 1991, the spending of salaries and resources dropped by the range of 5% to 10% in 2001. . By contrast, costs in other two aspects, insurance and furniture and equipment, raised dramatically, constituting 8% and 23% respectively.
well, I have some suggestions that may help you in the IELTS writing task 1. Try to use the structure of "adv. + v". For example "dramatically/drastically increased/decreased", "slightly/gradually rose". Use a wide range of vocabulary. You can find many appropriate words for describing a chart in academic writing books OR IELTS books. Furthermore, use numbers in various ways. For this purpose, you can use non-defining clauses, use parentheses, OR mention them directly. Finally, as I stated above, you should write a general trend at the end of the introduction. Write the general trend through one sentence and briefly state it.
Hope this helps
Have fun
Ahmad
The three pie charts indicate the figure of annual
As is the case with teachers` salaries occupied the largest percentage (how much??)
In 1981, the school spent 40% of the budget cost on teachers` salaries, followed by other workers` salaries (28%). In terms of resources and furniture and equipment, both of them cost the same, with 15%. Spending
After a decade, the costs of teachers` salaries and resources increased by 10% and 5%, respectively, while
well, I have some suggestions that may help you in the IELTS writing task 1. Try to use the structure of "adv. + v". For example "dramatically/drastically increased/decreased", "slightly/gradually rose". Use a wide range of vocabulary. You can find many appropriate words for describing a chart in academic writing books OR IELTS books. Furthermore, use numbers in various ways. For this purpose, you can use non-defining clauses, use parentheses, OR mention them directly. Finally, as I stated above, you should write a general trend at the end of the introduction. Write the general trend through one sentence and briefly state it.
Hope this helps
Have fun
Ahmad