Writing Feedback / Learning Motivation - IELTS Writing Task 2: Discursive Essay [2]

telling kids stories, or reading storybooks - opinion

Here is my latest essay on IELTS Writing Task 2. Please be free to leave your comments. Thanks in advance
Some people think parents themselves need to spend time reading or telling stories to children, while other think children can read by themselves through a variety of sources, such as books and the Internet.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

According to some, it is necessary for parents to read and tell stories to children. While there are other who think that children should take that responsibility by themselves. Both sides of the debate will be discussed below before drawing my opinion.

On the one hand, as parents read or tell stories to children, many people believe children would be greatly beneficial. Because the parents usually are those have much experiences in life, therefore, the kids could easily broaden their knowledge in diverse aspects thanks to their support. Moreover, it is widely believed that reading or telling stories to children can be a great way to promote of family bonding. In other words, sufficient family time could be ensure, enhancing healthy interaction within families as consequence.

On the other hand, there are many people think that parents should let their children to read by themselves. When children are given more opportunities to read, their autonomy in learning, which is believed to be essential for their future, could be greatly developed. Secondly, as giving more chances to read by themselves, children are believed to be better interested and motivated in reading. In other words, as children are allowed to read whatever that they are interested in, it would yield better results to children's development.

Finally, in my opinion, both tasks are undoubtedly necessary for a child's future but the focus should depend on a child's age. In specific, parents should read or tell stories to younger children because they need to be motivated to acquire knowledge about world's reality. For older children, when they have a reading habit, such important qualities like independence could be greatly promoted among young's mind.

In conclusion, although people have different views, I believe it would be better for young children to be motivated in learning and older children to become independent.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: every funds for education are needed - also those in the form of tax [2]

Here is my latest essay, Please be free to leave your comments. Thanks in advance
Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Sending kids to private schools to exempt from tax?

There is a common belief that those parents who have children engaged in private education should not be obligated to pay taxes which support the public education system. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this view.

It would be completely wrong if we reduce taxes for families who choose non-public education. Firstly, any citizen has an obligation to pay taxes whether they intentionally use the public services or not. For instance, many people might live their whole life without calling police or fire brigade at any time. However, they would not expect a tax reduction for that. Secondly, it would be truly complicated and difficult to calculate the correct amount of tax reduction for those parents who send their children to private schools. Since the government budget is not used for merely funding education but other critical affairs, therefore, it would be somewhat problematic if we offer tax deduction for these parents.

From my perspective, it would be much reasonable if citizens are all responsible for paying taxes that support public education system. Thanks for the sufficient amount of tax collected, the quality of the education would be ensured in long run, which in turn benefit the whole society. In other words, there would be many educated people, who could either be outstanding entrepreneurs or excellent workers. Furthermore, when every family has the obligation to pay taxes, it would be a great way to promote the fairness among society. In other words, there would be no situation where the poor pay higher taxes than the rich.

To conclude, because of the reasons above, I do not agree that families who send their children to private schools should not have the obligation to pay taxes that support the state educational system.

Writing Feedback / Some people claim that financing the costs of health care and education should be government's duty [3]

IELTS Writing Task 2: Discursive Essay

Here is my latest essay on Writing Task 2 IELTS. Please be free to leave your feedbacks. Thanks in advance.
Some people say that governments should pay for public health care and education, while others say that it is not governments' responsibility.
Please discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that financing the costs of health care and education is supposed to be one of the government's duties. Whilst others argue that the citizens should take that responsibility by themselves. Based on the following discussion of both views, I believe that the government should cover some parts of the bills at least.

On the one hand, it is widely acknowledged that the state's medical subsidies would give public a great chance to enjoy better health care services. For instance, in some underdeveloped countries, many people, especially those in the low-income group could not afford the hospital fees. Therefore, by providing free medical treatment, it would make them less likely to get suffered from many diseases. In addition to that, according to some, making education free for all citizens would increase the number of educated people, which in turn benefits the society.

On the other hand, others think that it would be better if the citizens are responsible for their own educational and health care demands. Firstly, it is widely accepted that the government budget is not unlimited, hence, if not being obliged to make health care and education free for all, the government could spend more money on other critical items. Furthermore, many people argue that there would be an enormous burden imposed on the public investment fund for research and development in the two fields. As a result, the quality of education and medical services would be no longer ensured in long run.

In my view, the arguments for both views are understandable but it would be more reasonable if the government offer financial supports of education and medical service to those who really in dire need. By doing so, it is still responsible for developing a healthy and educated society without making its budget exhausted.

To conclude, despite different views, I believe it would be better if educational and hospital fees are covered to some certain individuals, not for all.

Writing Feedback / A common belief that unpaid community services should be made compulsory for high schoolers. [3]

IELTS Writing Task 2: Agree or Disagree Essay

Here is my latest essay on Writing Task 2. Please be free to leave your comments below. Thanks in advance.

Topic: Some people believe that unpaid community work (for example, working for a charity, teaching sports to children) should become a compulsory part of the high school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a common belief that unpaid community services should be made compulsory for high schoolers. In my opinion, I believe that making community services compulsory should not be exercised in school environment.

Firstly, being forced in welfare works could result in more pressure to high schoolers. Community services often requires to pay a great amount of time, hence, when taking part in these activities, students are more likely to lose concentration on school assignments. This means that many young people, especially who are struggling with their study, might find it challenging to keep a good performance in their academic records. For majority of students, particularly who always desire to get a well-paid job in the future, this would not be a viable option.

Another point to consider is the lack of efficiencies when high school pupils are forced into such kind of activities. It is obvious that young people also have the right and capability to make decision whether or not to contribute to the society. Therefore, unless high schoolers engage in community works with a proper attitude, they would not be willing to learn and do anything. This would eventually go against the school's expectations, which is helping its students foster a strong sense of community in their minds.

In my opinion, instead of making this work mandatory, parents and teachers should encourage and provide their children with opportunities to contribute to the society. By doing this, they can expect these youngsters actually learn from experience of helping others out.

To sum up, I believe that making welfare works compulsory is not a perfect way to equip students with the values that parents and teachers expect them to learn.

Writing Feedback / Health care and education funding to be among the top priorities of a government's agenda? [4]

Here is my latest essay on IELTS Writing Task 2. Please be free to leave your feedbacks. Thanks in advance.

Discursive Essay

Topic: Some people say that governments should pay for public health care and education, while others say that it is not governments' responsibility.
Please discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that financing the costs of health care and education is supposed to be among the top priorities of a government's agenda. Meanwhile, others argue that the citizens should take that responsibility by themselves. In my opinion, I believe that the government should cover some parts of the bills at least.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why people believe the government should pay for the hospital and school fees. Firstly, it is true that the state's medical subsidies would give many people, especially those in the low-income group a chance to enjoy better health care services, thereby improving the social wellness. In addition to that, considering the fact that a decent education for every citizen is a fundamental goal for every country, thus, providing free education would be the very basic step to make that goal realized.

On the other hand, there are also some strong arguments that are against the ideas above. Firstly, as a matter of fact, the government budget is not unlimited, hence, if not being obliged to make health care and education free for all people, the government could spend more money on other critical items. Secondly, if the costs of public medical care and education are fully covered by the government, there would be an enormous burden imposed on the public investment fund for research and development in the medical and educational fields, which in turn would badly affect people's health and education in long run.

To conclude, I believe it would be reasonable if the government could offer financial supports to those who really are in dire need instead of treating all citizens the same. By doing so, it is still responsible for developing a healthy and educated society without making its budget exhausted.

Writing Feedback / Arts and humanities should not get less attention than science and technology do in schools today [3]

IELTS Writing Task 2: Agree or Disagree essay

Here is my latest essay on IELTS Task 2. Please be free to leave your feedbacks. Thanks in advance.

Topic: Since science and technology are becoming more and more important in modern society, schools should spend more time on teaching these subjects rather than on arts and humanities. To what extent do you agree?

Based on the notion that science and technology have become increasingly essential in human life, some people believe that there would be many benefits if education gives more priority to these subjects. While I agree that these advantages are undeniable, this is not a sufficiently sound reason to neglect the importance of arts and humanities education.

On the one hand, there are many reasons why putting more emphasis on technological and scientific subjects in school's curriculum would be beneficial. Firstly, students would have more opportunities to broaden their knowledge in these two fields. Given the fact that there is a growing demand for jobs that require scientific and technological expertise nowadays, thus, students who are specialized in science and technology subjects would find it less challenging to find high-paid jobs. In addition to that, when students are equipped with technological and scientific knowledge, it is more likely that in the future, they will have brilliant inventions which are expected to make a major contribution to modern life.

However, it is also necessary to acknowledge the importance of arts and humanities to students. Arts and humanities are commonly believed to help them to gain a better vision of the past and how the world has changed over the time. Therefore, once students are well educated in these two fields, they would not only understand the mistakes made in the past but also be reflected upon the great things that the humanity has accomplished. Besides, it is widely believed that the ultimate mission of education should be the inclusive development of students, thus, arts and humanities deserve a fair share of school's curriculum.

In conclusion, based on reasons above, I believe that arts and humanities should not get less attention than science and technology do in schools today.

Writing Feedback / Candidates' academic qualities, rather than their social skills, become the primary employers choice [2]

Here is my latest essay on IELTS Writing Task 2. Please be free to leave your feedbacks on my essay. Thanks in advance.
Nowadays, some employers think academic qualities are more important than life experience and personal qualities when they choose employees.
Why does this take place? And is this a negative or positive development?

ACADEMIC QUALITIES OR PERSONAL QUALITIES

In the job of recruitment, it seems common that candidates' academic qualities, rather than their social skills, have increasingly become the primary concern among many employers. While the trend is justifiable to some extent, I would argue that it would do more harm than good in overall.

The explanation behind this trend might involve a notion that job applicants who did well in educational institutions would also perform competently in workplaces. In other words, staffers possessing excellent academic records are believed to be more effective at work than those with ordinary academic performance. Given the fact that many employers tend to rush through things these days to ensure an advantageous position in the face of stiff competition, hence, they would be beneficial as more individuals with outstanding academic qualities are hired for the job.

Although the role of academic qualities in term of staff recruitment is undeniable, this is not a sufficiently sound reason to ignore the importance of character traits and interpersonal skills when it comes to work. To be more specific, personal attributes, such as life experience and social skills, are truly essential in workplaces as they could help finding, attracting and retaining clients for businesses. Given the fact that modern market offers consumers an unlimited number of choices through technologies, hence, customer service is often what influences the choice to use a particular business. Besides, without soft skills, hard skills (academic qualities) alone are not enough to be truly effective. For example, a salesperson with excellent academic knowledge might have little success if he or she does not have the interpersonal skills needed to close deals and retain clients.

In conclusion, while there is an understandable reason for the trend of giving emphasize academic qualities rather than personal qualities, I believe that it would be a negative development in long run.

Writing Feedback / Family's closeness - IELTS 2: Problems and Solutions Essay [4]

I am planning to take the IELTS test. Here is one of my essay. I really need to improve my writing skills in order to get the best preparation for the IELTS test.

Topic:It is generally acknowledged that families now are not as close as they used to be.
What are some possible reasons for this and what can be done to reserve the trend.

deteriorated family bonds

Given the over-increasing pace in modern life, it seems common in many places that family bonds have been deteriorated. In my opinion, some possible ways could be done to minimize the downside of the issue.

To start with, there are many ways in which this unfavorable situation could occur. The primary factor probably is the intrusion of modern technology into family life. In the past, family members were more likely to interact with each other as there were fewer technological diversions. However, in today's life, each member within a family could easily be distracted from family conversation by many hi-tech devices such as smartphones or tablets. Another factor leading to this trend probably is the over-increasing pace of the modern life. Given the fact that people tend to rush through things to ensure an advantageous position in the face of stiff competition, therefore, the closeness between family members would eventually suffer.

However, it is true that many ways could be done to tackle this matter. One of the most promising ones could be ensuring that family members spend sufficient time together and enhance healthy interactions among them. For example, parents may try to reduce the time spent on technological devices at home, such as setting time restriction for Internet usage or arrange more time to chat or play with their child. More importantly, parents should always remember that they are working for a better life with their loved ones, not living to work.

In conclusion, although there are many reasons for the undermining of family's closeness in today's life, I believe that great efforts from both parents and children are likely able to reserve this trend.

Writing Feedback / Vegetarians do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Is it a good way for others too? [3]

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Opinion Task

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet.
What is your opinion?

Since plants foods are believed to be better for human body, there is growing concern stating that meat should be excluded from people's diet. In my perspective, despites its evident benefits, vegetarian diet should not be compulsory for all diets.

On the one hand, certain healthy benefits can be obtained as a result of enjoying vegetarian diet. Firstly, it contains a huge source of vitamins or minerals. Therefore, by placing plants foods on daily diet, there will obviously be a fall in other foods' expenditure with the similar purpose of giving adequate nutrition to support our body. Secondly, also by its nutrients content, people surely get less chance of being suffered from those diseases like cancer or obesity by consuming vegetarian diet. For instance, Japanese elderly residents are widely known with the healthy appearance since their diet always contains a huge source of vegetables.

On the other hand, rather than being applied widely, vegetarian diet contains numerous drawbacks for some certain eaters. To begin with, enjoying meat refers to a favorable eating habit that majority of people fail into. Because the tastes value exceeds the 'costs', thus, those are in favor of meat consuming might not be willing to take an exchange for their favorable choice of diet. Furthermore, beef or pork are known as the most valuable source of protein and other nutrients. Hence, if they are excluded from the diet, healthy body will surely not be ensured. For example, back to the past days, majority of people had been suffered from malnutrition since their only available source of food was vegetables.

By way of conclusion, although containing evident benefits like providing vitamins or minerals, I believe that consuming vegetarian diet is not for everyone, especially those who are under sufferance of malnutrition.

Writing Feedback / Foreigners should adapt the host country's customs and tradition when settling in [4]

Agree or Disagree task

WRITING TASK 2
People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer
Regarding to a common argument stating that foreigners should adapt the host country's customs and tradition when settling in, in my perspective, I completely agree with this view.

On the one hand, new immigrants will certainly face extreme difficulties while behaving irrespectively toward host cultural values. Cultural values refer to core principles and beliefs upon which the entire community exists. Particularly, culture values are surely shown up through social norms, those have been formed for such a long time in a certain society. Hence, regardless of newcomers, those not conforming these social norms are likely to face with hostile attitudes by local residents. For instance, South East Asia residents will surely consider newcomers spoiled if their appearance is cover by full of tattoos.

On the other hand, adapting social norms can be beneficial for newcomers in many perspectives. Firstly, regarding to those behave according to social norms, they are surely gain a richness of experiences from enjoying aspects of local customs and traditions. Culture conflicts generally results in social isolation, hence, establishing close relationships with the host community is considered as the top priority for majority of foreigners when living in a new society. Additionally, with the welcoming attitudes by local residents, in term of doing business, newcomers will definitely gain certain achievements. To illustrate, an entrepreneur will have a chance to maximize the profit if his products conform to the cultural values of local residents.

By way of conclusion, with the purpose of being part of community as well as avoiding social isolation, it is truly essential for foreigners to behave respectively to the social norms of where they are living.