Writing Feedback / Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods [2]

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

- IELTS WRITING TASK 2

334 words

Some people argue that the popularity of pre-processed foods will sooner or later change the way people eat and cook completely different from our old methods. In my perspective, I highly doubt that traditional foods and traditional cooking styles will be replaced though I believe the increase in convenience foods can not be denied.

The prevalence of advertisements aiming at promoting the convenience of processed foods has successfully gained people's trust. Living in a fast-paced life where most people are in a rush to workplaces and schools, the idea of a quick and delicious breakfast in a convenient store is such a savior. No wonder the number of convenient stores has skyrocketed over the places which has clearly proved that people's eating habit is significantly adapting to the new one.

Secondly, with the mass production of such convenience foods, the price has splashed out substantially which encourages more consumption. The technological advances in food production have leaped off a huge step and be able to produce a large number of packed foods in which enable to serve buyers with competitive price. By contrast, traditional foods have not received much support from producers to spread their popularity.

On the contrary, despite the immense prevalence of convenience foods, traditional foods, as well as traditional ways of cooking, still play a crucial role in every household. To illustrate, cooking shows that value the old methods of food preparation are still very welcomed by viewers. People also assume the taste of fresh food is way better than it is from industrial food. Therefore, the value of the old methods never seems to lose its power in front of the simultaneous invasion of new types of foods.

In conclusion, the development of convenience food is obviously increasing with more convenient stores being built, more consumers for such products; nevertheless, people still aware that it is traditional foods which will give people healthier nutrients and even better taste. Thus, people are not likely to entirely cut off their traditional foods.

Writing Feedback / Group traveling is the best way to travel [3]

group tour trip pros and cons

The best way to travel is to travel in a group led by a tour guide. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Group traveling with a tour guide is usually chosen by those who prioritize security. While this is a good option in terms of safety, I think it also limits much of your experience and could not become the best way.

There are many downsides when choosing a group tour trip. Firstly, your destinations are picked up by a tour guide, so there is a high probability that the places don't meet your preferences. Also, these destinations are mostly the popular tourist attractions which means the number of travelers from everywhere is in a great deal. This results in the unavoided overwhelming and affects negatively to your trip's quality. Moreover, this kind of travel only allows you a limited time for each spot; a tourist could get frustrated when their enjoyment for a certain place is quickly interrupted.

On the contrary, traveling in a group with a tour guide gives you a secure feeling especially when your destination is in dangerous places, such as countries on wars, jungles, deserts, etc. Traveling to these places requires an experienced tour guide who has broad knowledge about the places. More than that, group traveling can bring you more new friends who will make your trip more memorable and interesting.

To conclude, group traveling is one of many options for a traveler to pick up which has both benefits and drawbacks. Therefore, it can not be the best way for everyone's tastes.

Writing Feedback / Who is responsible for taking care of the environment, governments or the citizens? [2]

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

the responsibility of Earth protection

The environment is being damaged rapidly due to human activity. Discussions have been made to determine whether it is the responsibility of governments or the citizens to the protection of Earth. In my opinion, I strongly advocate the joint effort of both men of law and citizens in response to the destruction of our environment.

Those who are in favor of the responsibility of governments might be reasonable to some extent as governments can use their highest powers to impose strict laws in order to prevent harmful activities to the environment such as deforestation, logging, and burning toxic substances. They can also apply heavy fines to the opposers, and only governments can financially be able to build public transportation systems, natural gas power plants which can substantially lower carbon emissions.

On the other hand, citizens are the fundamental units of society. They account for major humans in every country, so their actions altogether can create huge effects. If all citizens in the world were awared of the danger situation our environment is in, and protected it with small but practical actions like using environmentally friendly products, disposing of garbage properly, using alternative energy instead of fossil fuel one, our environment would be in much better status.

To conclude, whether you are governments or citizens, protecting the Earth is our duty since it is our only home in this universe so far. It is a collective responsibility of humanity. Therefore, actions should be taken immediately instead of thinking about whose responsibility.

Writing Feedback / The advantages of eating food produced in other regions outweigh the disadvantages [2]

many types of food on the market

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people can eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

With more developed transports, people now can try numerous specialties from other places within a short time. This trend brings in benefits as well as drawbacks to both products and consumers.

There is no denying that people can now eat many types of food, fruits, and vegetables grown from far-away regions. This helps to vary the flavor of meals. Moreover, food which is produced on farms is absolutely fresh, delicious, and has a unique flavor from those areas. Besides, consuming food from the poor countryside is a way to support their financial development. On the other hand, the disadvantages of this trend can easily be seen in the cost of food. Imported food have higher costs due to transportation fees, storage fees, and packaging fees. One more weak point is the difficulty in the storage process. Food in the transport process is in danger of being damaged.

In general, both advantages and disadvantages can be pointed out from this phenomenon. However, which one has higher effects depends on your purpose of uses. It will be beneficial if you focus on the original tastes. In contrast, if what you are concerned about is staying on budget, cheap-priced food with similar quality is the best choice.

To conclude, whether using food produced from your regions or other places both have good and bad sides. Depending on your usage, you will choose a way to maximize the benefits.

Writing Feedback / Advanced technology can prevent and solve the crime [3]

Crime rate and technologic solutions

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

(can you check for my writing as well as helping me understand when to use the crime, a crime, the crimes, crimes)

It is often argued that people nowadays have been witnessed a dramatic decline in the number of offenders compared to the past. Although I believe that technological improvements have been positively contributed to this phenomenon, I partly think, as the technological evolution, the crimes are also evolving to other sophisticated forms which are harder to prevent.

On the one hand, the incidence of crime is significantly decreasing with the assistance of high tech. Nowadays, the availability of developed technologies is helping citizens and authorities to easily detect unusual activities and protect themselves as well as their property from the robbery. To be more specific, from public to private places such as streets, center malls, shops and houses have security systems installed; for example, the surveillance cameras. These useful equipment benefits to hindering the possible thefts and to identify the stealers. DNA testing and fingerprinting are also supportive tools for the police tracing the culprits. However, most of the crimes which show a descent in number are likely to be the traditional crimes whose active areas can be quickly specified such as fraud, theft, blackmail, forgery,...

On the other hand, we are living in the era of internet; everyone is relying on it for most of activities ranging from chatting to friends to transferring money. This vast network is an appealing target for illegal activities. As a result, the traditional crimes are shifting over to the new form of crime which is cyber crimes. This crime emerged along with the rapid development of the hi-tech; cyber crimes use the internet as a tool to steal information in the individual and nation level, negatively effect on one's reputation and risk the nation finance's health as well. Therefore, the diminishing of the traditional crime can be the sign of the rising of a more dangerous one, cybercrime.

In conclusion, it is true that advanced technology assists in reduce a considerable number of traditional-offenders, there is still challenging to arrest the new high - profile cybercrime whose damage can be within a large scale.

Writing Feedback / Personality and High Grades - What is the most important thing to succeed in life? [2]

Meaning of grades in an educational system

Some people fail in school but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

The high academic grade is commonly considered as the certainty in gaining success in the future. However, in my view, there are other factors apart from accomplishing academic institutes that determine one's successful life.

On the one hand, there is a multitude of reasons for children failing school. First, the overwhelming assignments from school are likely to stifle students' motivation in learning. Studying at school means children need to learn all of the subjects and are expected to expel all of them; it is obviously impossible to find an individual who enjoys all subjects at school. That leads to the second reason. Everyone is born unique and has completely different strengths. There are artists in every Maths class; likewise, scientists can be found in Music class. In other words, students with a specific passion for one field are likely to be less interested in studying other tedious subjects. This causes inequality of results in school subjects. Third, academic institutes often apply old methods of learning as well as impractical assignments. Thus, children's creativity is not considerably focused here. In addition, our educational environment also lacks creativity cultivating activities although this is an important skill for the technology era 4.0. Therefore, failing at school does not indicate the inability of the intellect of one student.

On the other hand, among all of the factors, humans themselves are still playing a crucial role in every aspect. We can not deny the fact that although education does assist a great extent in children's success, it is not the only factor connected to one's accomplishment. That hard work, determination, and perseverance of an individual are indeed the key personality traits to succeed.

In conclusion, having a high grade in our educational system surely helps you get attention to pass the very first steps in your career. But to maintain in the long run, your personalities are a prerequisite.

Writing Feedback / WHAT IS THE REASON FOR PARENTS PUTTING TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON THEIR CHILDREN TO SUCCEED. [4]

Parental Expectations and Aspirations for their Children

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

High parental expectations on their children's performances are the burden that children suffer. Consequently, children's mental health and childhood would be damaged considerably.

The world is changing rapidly; as a result, all jobs require higher skills and knowledge; likewise, they are more challenging to adapt. Therefore, parents soon send their children to extra classes to master not only Maths but also gifted subjects such as piano, dancing ,... . However, it would be a waste of time because not every child born to be talented. Parents are likely to think they have responsibility for their children's career paths, so it is their duties to push children to learn everything now or else they can't achieve six figures jobs in the future.

Another reason comes from the media. Televisions and smartphones are great tools to spread successful stories of young people all over the world. Parents can easily realize the fact that succesful people have greater power and higher social status. They eventually hope their children could be succeed not only to secure future jobs but also be featured on the media and be respected by others.

As a consequence, children nowadays are under high pressure of their own parents and society. They are being compared to other better kids by their parents and even by themselves. That they always have to excel in every aspect causes them depression. Besides, children are losing their childhood into getting highest scores. Children's happiness and curiousity seem to be forgotten instead of being the priority.

To conclude, excessive parental aspiration is harmful to children's mental and physical growth. Parents must put themselves in theirs kids' shoes to fully understand how difficult it is to live up to the parents' expectations. Futhermore, it is essential to realize that children who suffer severe depression hardly become successful in life.

Writing Feedback / ELECTRICITY IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT DISCOVERIES [3]

what is one of the most important discoveries that has been made and how, in your opinion, have humans benefited by it?

Electrical revolution

Within 200 years since the electricity first widely used , the world has changed intensely in a much better way. Electricity has brought light to people on Earth. The light that has helped humans do things from little like chores to great things that could not have been in thought of ancient people like space travelling. Electricity becomes a crucial part of our modern lives. That's why it is not exaggeration to acknowledge electricity to be one of the most important discoveries of all time.

To have a better understanding of how this invention tranformed life on Earth, going back to the past is the best answer. Just a brief power outage nowadays, it would be very inconvenient for modern people. However our great great parents still managed things quite well before the invention of electricity. Generally, all the works relyed on manual labour such as chopping wood to warm up the house, salting and drying meat to expand the shelf life of produce, doing laundry by hands,... These work loads were heavy and took up a lot of time. Lacking of light after the sunset was another problem that needed to be concerned. All lighting sources we had were oil lamps, candles, fireplaces and some other inconvenient tools that just provided us a dimly lit room. Along with the lack of entertainment, neighbors usually gathered to chat or playing instruments for amusement. This explains why people in the past had a stronger connection with others in the community than in the present. However, no one can deny the huge benefits that electricity has brought to our lives.

Well-light is provided for all of our activities all days. Going out after dark is not really a matter to us anymore thanks to the abundance of streetlights. Communication is another aspect that electricity does well. With the invention of smartphones, people can access to internet and communicate to anyone in the world at a very little cost. Electrical appliances such as washing machine, lawn mower, refrigerator, air conditioner,... allow us to save much more time for housework. The medical sector has seen comparable gains over the past hundred years. Most medical machines today depend on electricity. These machines give more accurate diagnosis and help saving records of patients durably. Entertainment has also reached a whole new level. We have so much entertainment that we even can't help ourselves being distracted by them.

Electrical revolution brought humans' lives to another advanced step and apart from the 80s. Without this wonderful discovery, humans would have not been improved in such a dramatic way. Benefits brought by electricity is countless. Therefore, instead of taking this resource for granted by using it wastefully, people should care more and use it wisely. The values of electricity will surely not cease to increase. Someday there might be another discovery to replace electricity, until that, humans still need to depend on it significantly.

Writing Feedback / If you had the power to change anything in your country, what would you most like to change and why? [4]

Hi everyone, I am practising my writing. I would be thankful if you give me any comments.

IF YOU HAD THE POWER TO CHANGE ANYTHING IN YOUR COUNTRY, WHAT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO CHANGE AND WHY?

the transit systems

There are many things i want to change: poverty, corruption, education,... However i am just going to choose one out of these to discuss in details which is the infrastructure, especially the transit systems.

The number of public transport in my country is too small. Although we do have trains but they are now a hundred years old from the French colonial period. We haven't been able to create our own trains. Moreover, to commute in a city, it is unnecessary to use trains. Therefore, there is only bus when talking about public transport. The amount of buses is not enough to serve all people in the city. Moreover, buses have very poor quality and bad service attitude. The bus drivers often drive carelessly and always honk loudly.

Therefore, people tend to use their personal vehicles which are cars and motorbikes for convenient commuting. Having many alleys in the cities results in the preference in using motorbikes. This leads to the overwhelming of motorbikes which causes heavy traffic jams at peak hours. The air is then extremely polluted by vehicles' dust and with the heat of this season, people are all exhausted whenever going out. The drivers easily get tired and frustrated which might cause unnecessary street rages.

Eventually, If i had the power to change anything in my country, i would change the transit systems. I would cut off the number of personal vehicles by providing people with much more better public transport. The roads would be larger . There would be sidewalks anywhere needed. More than that, all the vehicles would be smoke-free. Not only this would help to clean the environment but the citizens would also be healthier and happier living in the fresh air.