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Posts by Alisha123
Joined: Jun 30, 2011
Last Post: Aug 22, 2011
Threads: 9
Posts: 18  

From: UK

Displayed posts: 27
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Alisha123   
Aug 22, 2011
Writing Feedback / Reducing the overall consumption of natural resources by creating awareness [NEW]

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is certainly true that the dramatic rise in level of population around the world has resulted a drastic increase in consumption of natural resources. This ever-increasing ingestion of natural resources has spurred deleterious effects on maintaining a sustainable environment. In order to control this phenomenon, I strongly agree that government should create awareness and encourage people to consume and produce products that sustain for a longer period of time.

As the 21st century begins, growing number of people are increasing the demand of natural resources like water, energy, sanitation, wood, disposal of wastes, food and electricity. This rising level of consumption per capita is depleting the natural resources at even higher rate. This over-expenditure of resources is awfully degrading the environment conservation. In order to overcome this environment deforestation, it has become highly essential for companies to produce products which stay for a longer period. Moreover, companies should not compromise on the quality of product and must adhere to the stringent policies of quality assurance. This will enable consumers to get better quality. By doing this, consumers will get better quality of product and would have to buy the same product so often. This overall reduces the buying patterns of consumers and also has positive impact on having sustainable environment.

Another significant measure to reduce the consumption of natural resources is that government should emphasize on re-use of several items as many times as possible. This will overall reduce their intake of products. A good illustration of this is that households consume food containers for a longer of time. Also, producing containers from biodegradable materials as no energy is generated by bio- fuels and therefore they are considered to be less harmful to the environment. In addition to this, government should deter people to reduce the increasing usage of plastic bags as they create a devastating impact on the environment. Furthermore, current generation are prone to using latest electronic luxurious items that are highly likely impact the surrounding. So, government should discourage the over consumption of electronic and other deluxe items to save the environment and society as whole.

All in all, I feel that companies and government play a vital role in reducing the overall consumption of natural resources by creating awareness among common people and by generating products from environment friendly raw materials. If this kind of eco-friendly policy is followed then there is no reason why overall depletion of natural resources is not reduced.
Alisha123   
Aug 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / Freedom to show creativity in portraying skills in producing any form of art [NEW]

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restriction on what they do?

I certainly agree with the viewpoint that artists should be given liberty to show their creativity in portraying their skills in producing any form of art. In fact, I believe that artists would come up with more distinctive ideas, if they are given opportunity to express without any intervention. Even so, I strongly feel that government should not impose any confinement on these talent- gifted folk.

Indeed, any form of art expressed by an artist whether it could be composed music or film production, shows their creative skills. It utterly creates new thoughts in minds of people. Apart of this, their artistic ideas and imaginations would also reinforce people to think in a distinctive and unique manner. Take an example of famous Italian artist and inventor, he beautifully sculpted and painted the statue of Mona Lisa. With his magnificent skill, extra ordinary statues are now sculpted and kept in Amusement area like Madam Tussaq in London, where thousands of tourists visit every year and praise the beauty of art and talent. So, artists should be encouraged to express their talent which would motivate ordinary people to think alike and generate new art and benefit the society as whole.

Art is a natural talent and should be well expressed without any disruption because if any rules or restrictions are imposed on artists then they will not be able to express their true talent. Take songwriter for instance, if any restrictions of not using certain words in lyrics are enforced on him then he might find in showing his real ingenuity. This is because, creativity and flair are considered to be songwriter's real talents and any confinement in any of these, would hinder his overall performance.

Art related projects such as exhibitions of paintings, sculptures and photography, all these activities enrich peoples' lives. These will make people to understand and explore surroundings in variety of ways. Therefore, government should not intervene or put any rules on creative artists. However, it should encourage and motivate people to bring forth their hidden talent so, that people could benefit from their distinctive ideas. I personally feel that, rather than imposing restriction on them, government should provide subsides and financial support to them so that their talent could be brought to a wider public around the world. These will not only boost artists' capabilities but a nation would be able to show its artists' talent across the globe and it would undoubtedly create its good image around the world.

All in all, I believe that imposing any sort of restriction would impede the artist talent and they would not able to work at optimal level. Therefore, their overall ability to perform will potentially reduce. On the contrary, both encouragement and inspiration are driving force in increasing the creativity of artists. There is no reason why government should not give special financial and moral support to artists rather than restraining their talent.

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Alisha123   
Aug 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'simplistic view'; Can petrol price increase impact on pollution? [7]

Instead of emphasizing on oil prices u have focused more on number of vechiles, it is right to support ur argument but I thinkj focus more on prices and other effective ways of controlling traffic... which is missing
Alisha123   
Aug 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / Music development-writing task 2 in ielts test [2]

we do not write etc in Ilets essay
rather than writing short, write in conlcusion
what do u mean by bad music... however there must be other words to express music like sad, slow, fast music
Alisha123   
Aug 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / More and more village workers are not deciding to live in the city and travel in work [3]

More and more village workers are not deciding to live in the city and travel in to country and travel into the work every day. The result is increased traffic congestion and damage to the environment. What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long distances into work?

It is certainly true that a tremendous number of workers numbers of people is escaping from countryside to urban areas in search of employment. On the other hand some workers prefer to travel on long distances day in and day out to reach at work. This massive transition on daily basis has created enormous problems such as overcrowding and environmental issues. I think, in order to overcome these, and following steps should be taken;

Firstly, government should encourage public sector companies to expand the business in rural areas. Take charity firms for instance, in my country there are thousands of these organizations, who are currently running to raise funds for homeless and vulnerable people residing outside the country. If the government support these firms by providing sponsorships and funds to open up new branches in countryside, then consequently more jobs would be created and so these employees do not have to travel to country as they would find more job opportunities in the countryside. This would eventually reduce the traffic outflow towards urban areas.

Another important way to curtail the traffic congestion on roads is to encourage employees to do work from home. With the rampant science and technology, employees could easily connect with office system and desktop through internet and video conferencing. This would lead to less traffic congestion and journey times would also be reduced. Furthermore, government should build up convenient transport system that would have several connections to rural areas. This would facilities rural workers to easily commute to their work by using public transport despite their own private cars. As a result, overall there will be less number of vehicles on roads, and could less likely impact on environment.

Nevertheless, many giant franchises and companies can open up branches, which would prevent people to move from their own cities. For instance, food chain such as Mc donalds and KFC restaurants could extend their business network to rural areas. This would not only lead to increase in job opportunities but would enable to get more sources of entertainment and food even in their own cities. Also, by expanding businesses in these areas would hinder them to move to the overcrowded urban areas.

All in all, I think the government plays a vital role in controlling the workers flow towards country by creating more job opportunities in rural areas. Also, multinational companies can also work on expanding their businesses in village areas. In addition to that, motivating employees to perform part time work from home could also reduce the traffic problems and eventually secure the environment from pollution.
Alisha123   
Aug 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / fashionably to be concerned; Young are more aware of issues like the environment [3]

To me your essay falls between 6-6.5 band but it is just according to me but it totally varies with the examiner point of view.

I found conclusion more ambigious, One tactic is to connect conclsuion point of view with the points you already mentioned on the essay. Also, try to add some good examples to justify your topic sentence.

However the vocub is quite sufficient.
Alisha123   
Jul 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Widespread use of the Internet and its problems/ solutions [NEW]

The widespread use of internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest?

Currently in a rampant technology period, advent of internet has indeed revolutionized the life styles of people. Nowadays, almost every other person, from all ages, has an access to internet. This ever-increasing availability of internet has drawn adequate challenges, especially among young generation.

First of all, with the opportunity of surfing internet, playing games on computer, people have adopted a more sedentary lifestyle. For instance, children no longer play out- door sports instead of it; they prefer playing games online at home. This attitude creates a harmful effect on their health and can cause problem such as obesity.

Another problem is that internet usage may tend to reduce the thinking skills of children. It is observed that most of students surf internet for finding solutions to their assignments. For instance, they usually solve even simple arithmetic equation with the help of internet. Consequently, students cannot do basic mathematical tasks mentally which in turn has impact on their intellectual and analytical skills.

A third problem is that not all the websites are useful. Information contained in some sites is not suitable for children. Some internet sites such as forums and chat rooms could even be dangerous because you do not know who you are communicating to, as the identities could be fake too. Furthermore, internet creates a communication gap among children and parents. Young generation enjoy spending their leisure time on internet, so they get disconnected from family and ultimately it could have an effect on social behaviour.

Parents play an important role in controlling excess use of internet by children. They should indulge them into other extracurricular activities and hobbies so that they may spend less number of hours on internet. Also, it is important for children to share considerable time with parents rather than socializing online all the time. Teachers should encourage students to use other means of information apart of internet.

To conclude, I think internet has brought many benefits to our lives. However, its misuse may create drastic discrepancies. From my point of view, one should use internet but wisely and sensibly and reap enormous advantages from its usage.
Alisha123   
Jul 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Ambitious dreams are better than realistic goals. [7]

I feel the lack of cohesion in your essay. For ILETS exam, cohesion is being given create weightage but I am sure same goes for tofel exam too.

In conclusion, i believe... not announce..
Alisha123   
Jul 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS- CRIMINALS RE-OFFEND AFTER HAVE BEEN PUNISHED. WHAT ARE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS? [3]

As it is ur first essay and you seem beginner , however I am also new but got invaluable help from forum.

- Like one of our contributors Ajit says, you must write a five paragraph essay for IELTS.

1. Introduction: a thematic overview of the topic, and introduction of the thesis;
2. Narration: a review of the background literature to orient the reader to the topic; also, a structural overview of the essay;
3. Affirmation: the evidence and arguments in favor of the thesis;
4. Negation: the evidence and arguments against the thesis; these also require either "refutation" or "concession";
5. Conclusion: summary of the argument, and association of the thesis and argument with larger, connected issues.
good luck :)

Follow this pattern whilst writing your essays..

Best of luck..
Alisha123   
Jul 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / ILETS ESSAY ON SIGNIFICANCE OF LEARNING HISTORY. [3]

To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not taught history?

Undoubtedly, advancements in science and technology are at its peak in modern era. Due to this, there has been a drastic change in lifestyles of today's society. In light of this, some people argue that in this technological-driven world, knowledge about past has no significance. However, in my opinion learning about past indeed, has invaluable benefits even in today's era.

Firstly, learning about past can enhance our learning skills by investigating and interpreting experiences of our ancestors. For instance, students could enlighten on the various hurdles our scientists had to face in inventing new accessories which are being used as luxurious items by us. This would enable them to avoid doing the same mistakes that were done by researchers in the past. As a result, by learning from past, it has become lot easier to discover latest technological related products such as Ipod, Kindle and many other electronic gadgets.

Another important significance of knowing past is that it provides valuable explanations about the situations, we face today. For instance, according to many reports, death rate has increased dramatically as compared to ancient times. One causes of this, is the eating habits of people. Nowadays, may people prone to eat frozen food which is proved to be hazardous to health. However, in past people preferred to eat fresh and healthy food, this result in less number of diseases. Thus, we tend to get vital information after learning about past experiences and these can ease the complexities we are currently going through in our lives.

Nevertheless, history is considered to be the precious part and parcel from our ancestors. With their inbound efforts and wisdom, we are living a comfortable life. Therefore, children should be encouraged to learn about the hardships and difficulties faced by our scientists and researchers. This in turn will give valuable experience to today's students. They will not repeat the same mistakes faced by our elders and will focus on learning about new innovative inventions that can benefit the society on whole. Furthermore, learning about past experiences and conflicts can teach them to avoid in future. As a result, whole society can prosper and live a happier life.

In the conclusion, learning about past culture, art and lifestyle can bring profound to the society. Knowledge about history is considered as the foundation step of any new invention. Thus, its benefits should be underestimated and it should be taught as a mandatory subject in the syllabus.
Alisha123   
Jul 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / "wheat export among three areas in 1985" - ielts exam [5]

Overall, the line graph indicates their change of wheat export between 1985 and 1990- you have already mentioned about this line in the begining instead of it you can write about the changing patterns about wheat export in three regions.

also, it looks to mention about peaks and troughs,

gradual change is witnessed...

try to write the information in separate paragraphs.
Alisha123   
Jul 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / ILETS essay. Becoming difficult to escape from media. [4]

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Advantages and disadvantages of living in media rich society.

In today's world, media is considered to be one of the vital forms of communication. We are so much surrounded my media that we get easily influenced by it. Old Media like televison, Radio and newspaper are the most common way of media communication. However, with the recent advent of computers and mobile phones, there is bombartment of information in our minds. Considering this fact, the pros and cons of Media rich society are analyzed before the conclusion is drawn.

Firstly, the advent of technology has eased the commnication through media around the world. By browsing on compter for just an hour, hundreds of advertisments can be seen. With a just one click of mouse, you tend to aware about loads of information happending around the globe. Recent media has flourished the new ways of communication and people get the exact information even is thousands miles away. Not only that, rapid spread of media has helped countries to strengthen their economies by runnung numnerous businesses within their own country. For example, China is considered to be the largest exporter around the world. China through media has analyzed the potential market of consumers by watching the needs of consumers displayed in televisions and advertisments ran ny respective countries. It can be clearly seen that media plays a dominant role in boosting business development which leads to economic growth.

In contrast, there are certain downsides of being constrained too much around media world. Nowadays, electronic media overemphasize more on positive aspects and hindering the negative side. Likewise, many media channels have been opened up and has created the ambiquity among human minds. For exmaple, Many companies promote their brands by communicating through billboards, most of the brands display the positive aspects to attract the many consumers however the side effects of using the product are communicated to massess. So, media can also create negative impact in ones mind which on the whole is harmful to society.

In summary, by evaluating the positive as well as negative sides of media society. I believe, media has a powerful impact on lives. No doubt, by having media world has become a global village. But we have to be very sensible and responsible in dealing with media.
Alisha123   
Jul 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / Barcelona (where would you like to travel and why) [4]

instead reach u can write fulfil..

overall u have nicely explained ur experience of trip.

u can say ---- is one of my favorite cities

who are interested in monuments ...

well done
Alisha123   
Jul 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / Working moms cause problems in the society - ILETS [7]

Apart from spelling mistakes can anyone rate my essay based on ILETS band.. This way I will get know about my progess.

And how many essays do write before taking ILETS Exam?

thanks for help
Alisha123   
Jul 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / ILETS Essay. Mass communication and transport continue to grow. [NEW]

As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalisation. Some people fear that globalisation will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Globilization means that people around the world tend to have similar living lifestyles. It is undeniable that with the advancemnet in technology and vast communication, people are coming more and more closer, thus they are mre likely to exchange the living styles. However, I do not agree with this idea that this global attachment has lost the norms as I think cultural heritage is not so weak to be dissappeared by globilization.

First of all, there is vast difference between globlization and cultural heritage. No doubt, latest invention of technology like electronic gadgets has reduced the communication gap. By watching television people can easily get information about other country. However, this recent technology has not affected the cultural heritage of nation. For example, people in Tokyo and London look and dress same but it does not mean their culltural lifestyle are similar. Evaluating culture on apparel is a very narrow definition of culture. Cultural values are inhertied since birth so by watching electrinic media people will not forget their traditional norms and values.

Secondly, another most important aspect that binds the cultural heritage is practicing the different relegion practices. Every country has its own methods of praying. With the ease of tranporation methods, people can esaily travel onto firrent countrties. By exploring other countries, people wll not forget their own religion practices. This is evident that profound number of Indian have moved to european countries but this does mean they will not celebrate their own festivals apart from christmas. Another significant value that creats a bond among cultural value is Wedding. Every religion has its own way of celebrating wedding so it is evdient that cultural inhertigae is inbuilt and cannot be influned by globilzation.

In conclusion, it is proved that cultural hertiage is strong norm thus can not vanished with the advent of latest technology. With the globilzation, people can more likely to exchnage their lifestyle but it has less impact on reforming one's culture.

Culture is built on strong foundation so it is highly unlikely to extract the roots from the grass.
Alisha123   
Jul 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / Working moms cause problems in the society - ILETS [7]

The position of women in societ has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile deliquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.

To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Women play a significant role towards the success of any nation. Infact, women are considered to be the backone of successful country. It is undeniable fact that role of women has been revolutionized over the past few decades. As per the recent survey on worforce, tremendous number of women have entered into workforce. As a result of this, many people argue this radical change in role of women has led a juvenile among young generation. I strongly disagree with this notion as I believe a working women can give better moral and financial support to a child.

Nowadays, due to heavy burdensome of expenses of a single child, it has became diffcult for a single parent to make the both the hands meet. Both parents have to earn to build a bright future of child. For instance due to high inflation, school fees of a child has risen dramatically so both parents certain amount from their salary to get his child admission into renowned school. It is obvious that this high cost of living has created a need for women to work and participate in fulfiling the basic need of education of a child and also to lower some burden on men.

Morever, mishappen and misfortunates could happen to anyone's life. By keeping this view in mind, it is important for woman to be on her feet to fulfil the burden of expenses of her child in difficult times. This reminds of one live example of one of my friends whose father passed away when she was just 12 years old. However, since her mother was working in a bank and she worked hard to support her daughter and in the end my friend turned out to get admission in one of the top business schools. This live example has made clear how essential for women to be working even after marriage.

Looking from some people point of view, working women are not able to spend much time with their children cause deliquency among children. We can see there are many child care centres have been opened to take care of child. Also, many Human resources policies have been introduced that to facilate women to have balance in personal and work life.

In the conclusion, it is essential for women to continue to work even after marriage life. An educated women can bring a positive impact on the generations to come and as a result whole nation will succeed and prosper.
Alisha123   
Jun 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / "Should fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood" - ILETS exam [4]

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up."

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

No one can deny the truth that Mother plays a vital role in upbringing of child. She gives so much scarifices at early and even later stage of life to make her child a good human being. However, in today's modern fast paced era, Father also act a prodominent part in raising his child. So, I am absolutely in favor of this new notion 'FatherHood'.

In the past, Mother seemed to be more attached with child since birth as she was always around child to fulfil the basic needs of child. On the other hand, father used to give financial support to child by working hard to fulfil the basic needs of child like food, education and other necessary demands of child. Now this trend has been changed, nowadays, profound number of women have entered into worforce, so mothers are not able to give as much time as they used to give in early times.

This drastic change in lifestyle, has compelled both parents to be equally responsible for raising their children. Also, today's stringent education system requires both parents attention to be given to children. For example, new difficult concepts has been added to Mathematics course which are harder for a typical bachelor mother to understand. So, here father has to spare time to teach his child to get good grades and remain competitive in studies.

Both Fathers and Mothers possess strengths and skills that are important for upbringing their children socially and intectually. Both share equal responsibilties for making their child one of the successful person in life.