Undergraduate / MIT: How has your world shaped your dreams? [2]

Right now 280 wds... Sorry to those whom Ihaven't read the essays of yet..Iwill get to that sorry!!

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)

When I was young, my father's engineering office was interesting to me, with a lot of wires and machinery. Yet I was in that environment often, scampering around the office, watching his coworkers test electronics on their computers. When daddy came home, he and mom would talk about his business day and I would be drawn into the often anxious, often excited talk about "sales", "products" and "investors." In church, my dad used his engineering skills to wire the security system for the building, and in the summer he would organize robotics camps for kids. Few other fathers could do what my father did, and I felt proud of him. At home I tried to listen patiently as my dad introduced me to mechanical design, electronic parts, and programming. I did not really understand how whole machines could be controlled by just one page of typed code, and this began my curiosity to understand the process of inventing electronics, beneath all their glamour and functions.

In high school, after taking AP Computer Science and then interning at a wireless communications company during the summer, I found I had the passion for programming and the interest to become what my father was: an electrical engineer. My APCS class had had only four girls in a class of thirty, so I already knew that this was a male-dominated field. But, I feel I can take on the challenges of entering this field because I have a true interest in it and familiarity with it after growing up in around my father. I want to be as talented an engineer as my dad is, and I know he is one engineer who will support me all the way.

Undergraduate / MIT How has your Personality impacted your Life? [4]

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)

I do daily exercises to try to cure my own myopia, using Chinese callisthenic techniques, or carrots, or my own creatively invented methods. For fun, I read Cantonese comic books that are written in Chinese and creatively mixed with English to portray typical Hong Kong "Canglish." The aspect of my personality that I enjoy most is my eccentric creativity. Though it arises not from exceptional genius, my eccentricity is both the cause and effect of the way I think and speak, and lends to my creativity. For this reason, I identify with children through their bizarre personalities. I work with kids every week through StARTs**, and I observed that they learn best when concepts are explained through shapes and images rather than numbers. To help kids grasp harder techniques, I realize I cannot be afraid to employ visual tools, expressive language, and hand-motions to cleverly explain my meanings. It makes me express my eccentric personality before them, and though it feels ridiculous at first, I know the only way to teach well is to teach creatively. This has helped me become a better teacher, and at school when my friends have questions, they can expect to receive an eager and creative explanation of the problem from me. I simply enjoy using my brain to think outside "all boxes." So in school, I like difficult classes because I trust that my store of creativity can turn drab curriculum into exciting new knowledge that can be interpreted from creative angles.

Undergraduate / 'church has been the apple of my eye' MIT: How has your world shaped your dreams? [5]

Ka-ching it is exactly 250 wds...Please give comments, criticism, on this :) Helps very much, thanks all

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)

Growing up, church has been the apple of my eye, my home of cultural traditions adapted to American life and Christianity, and my favorite house full of friends that I could feel comfortable around and share my thoughts about life with. It is where the family outside my family is, and is full of people whose desire to proactively help out the community is a lever that raises my own goals and standards for myself. Being part of church means being dedicated to a group, even when there are no teachers to make sure I carry through with responsibilities, and no grades coming in to determine pass or fail, and only my character is on the line. The relationships I have at church are a blessing that has taught me to care about and respect others.

My dreams are shaped by this lesson I learned from church to keep persevering toward positive goals despite the fact that, as I grow older, there will be fewer people to make sure I stay on track, assume responsibilities, and just work hard. This is why I follow my dream to be an electrical engineer even though the major is difficult and the competition will be tough. The rewards will reflect my perseverance. While I dream to pursue career goals that are my own, I desire to be successful so that I can also repay my family and church with my own time and resources, all the while still growing in the Christian faith.

Undergraduate / 'Chinese characters mixed with English alphabet' - MIT Personality [4]

Comments, esp criticisms, are extremely helpful...thanks to all in advance :)

b]What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)[/b]

I like admiring the Chinese characters mixed with English alphabet in my Cantonese comic books that creatively portray typical Hong Kong "Canglish." I daily try out solutions to cure my own myopia, through Chinese callisthenic techniques, or carrots, or my own creatively invented methods. The aspect of my personality that I enjoy most is my eccentric creativity. Though it does not arise from surpassing genius, my eccentricity is both the cause and effect of the way I think and speak, and lends to my creativity. For this reason, I easily identify with the bizarre personalities of kids, who I work with every week through community service and church. I strive to use words and ideas to help the kids visualize and understand concepts. It feels ridiculous expressing my eccentricity before the children; yet, holding it back detracts from the learning experience for them and me, and I realize the only way to teach is to do it dynamically. At school, I am inspired by the creative works that peers put their minds into, and their ideas often facilitate my own. And so, my sense of humor is colored by eccentric thinking and quirky perspectives that deviate freely. I truly appreciate AP classes because they let me learn about worlds that creative poets, physicists, and engineers have revolutionized. By delving into the content in these classes, I can then view the world in larger scope and use the knowledge from one area to creatively enhance my understanding of the next.

Undergraduate / 'I loved my church' - Common App MAIN [9]

it's roughly 5?? wds ...Prompt: Significant experience and its impact on you, OR Describe an encounter and how it has demonstrated the importance of diversity to you. OR Topic of your choice

Yes, now ...yes

Thank you kind soul to comment on this:)

It was ironic that, though I loved my church and half my identity was formed there, the term I was uncomfortable with was "Christian." Because it was painted one color, a word too opaque to reveal how dynamic my faith made my life. Outside church, I almost hated terming myself "Christian", because of all it connoted. When I told non-Christians I was a Christian, it evoked the image of a girl, extreme, uptight, and lacking interests. Furthermore, being an Asian-American girl, who fit the stereotypical conservative character, did not provide means to help my friends at school understand my meaningful and adventurous life at church. Friends respected me and how my life was shaped by Christianity, but when I sometimes excused myself from an activity because of a church function, they might shake their heads and teasingly say, "Why are you so church-active?" When I was younger, I was taken aback by these reactions and kept my church life as more of an extracurricular than anything I would openly speak of in school. Only it puzzled me that though they shared with me common interests, senses of humor, and curiosity for the same stimulating subjects, they did not also take an interest in church as I did. Church stayed as my area and they were content to not look into it.

As I started to be more open-minded and truly curious of how my own friends saw Christianity, I was surprised by their ideas when they shared with me. Some were misconceptions, such as the ones I had had about them when I judged them to be completely adverse to forms of religion. At church, Pastor James told my youth group that people were in fact very open to philosophical ideas, it was human nature to be so; it was just a matter of our being willing to engage in mutual openness and let sharing start. I made the effort to respect my friends' opinions more while sharing my own truthfully and, to be honest, some of my friends were painfully philosophical, more so than me. My views centered on God as a loving father; theirs were their own creation, influenced by a father forsaking the home, or another experience, or just popular belief. Though I carried beliefs that could at least address some of their pressing issues and questions, I was sometimes still felt afraid to say them. I realized that what kept people from understanding dynamic Christianity was more my fear of being stereotyped as a goodie-goodie than their misunderstanding of me.

It was as I began to spend more time with my school friends outside of school, just for pleasure, and began to value them as I valued my church friends that communication freed up between us. After playing capture-the-flag with them at night at the Christmas party, and studying with them at Starbucks for hours for our Econ test, and patiently remaining on online chat to listen to their rants on emotional issues, we became genuine friends and not distant school friends with more differences than similarities. After that, we conversed about deeper topics and enjoyed one another's company. I am glad to discover that sharing begins with something I naturally enjoy very much: spending quality time to get to know others first.

Undergraduate / Common App Essay: I Dunwanna Grow Up [2]

Hey guys, please read over my essay and comment on it. Does it show its impact on me enough?

Evaluate a significant exp, and its impact on you

In movies, that bustling-city girl, with the top-tier job and grand aspirations, meets a small town boy and realizes that what truly matters in life is true love and not big bucks. Similarly but without the romantic drama, I saw what I would give up as I moved on to top-tier colleges and bigger goals.

In junior year I was surrounded by high school seniors, who endlessly recounted memories of wild times in high school and boasted famous plans for the future. I quickly joined the mania of college dreams, aiming for high grades and extracurricular achievements in preparation for university. But unlike others, I could not also let go of the past. As I reminisced on my fun adventures in past three years, the fact that I would soon have to move away from home cut me in the heart. Behind closed doors, I frequently loathed with tears the fact that life forced me to grow older, that the simplistic fun of past times would be shut behind the pad-locked door of time. At least, I thought, there was one group that never changed: my church youth group, full of friends who stayed with me since childhood.

In the summer after junior year, I went with that group to Big Bear for Youth Retreat. With three seniors celebrating their graduations with us, being there forced me realize that I was also about to move on for good, while this group I left behind would continue without me. The new youths, my newer friends, were filling the places of out-going seniors. I looked around at my friends' faces, but no one was lamenting or resenting this fact; they were all having the time of their lives. Being with them help me answer the question that kept pressing me.

During that trip, we studied the Parable of the Lost Son, and I learned that I was like the two sons in that Bible story. Like the younger prodigal son, who ran loose with his inheritance and squandered it, I had desperately been trying to recreate and relive the childlike, "frivolous" fun I had had in the past. Like the son who felt unfairly treated because his errant brother was warmly welcomed back, I envied the blooming and intimate fellowship the newest youths were just beginning to experience, because it was a blessing I also had.

But just as the younger son soon came to his senses and the older son was corrected in his thinking, so I realized that these feelings were not abnormal. They meant I was ready to move on to different things, responsibilities that require more maturity. I knew our senior friends were not extricating themselves from us by leaving. Even after I, myself, graduated and met new people, to each other we would still be what we always were: brothers and sisters in Christ. In college I would be able to mature further, until again life changed and I would take on a job of greater responsibility. But right now, it is important to move forward, to understand that childhood reflects the past well done -yes, completed - and the future should be done just as well if not better. I know the past has helped ready me for the new paths of life to come.

Undergraduate / 'my enjoyment of being a Christian' - Common App: Overcome stereotype [NEW]

Sorry about the length, but if anyone helps me read over this and CUT IT DOWN BY 200 WDS , I would so appreciate it :)

Let me know your guys' thoughts...

And if you can any essays for me to read, give a shout :O

Describe a significant exp, and its impact on you

When I go to school, I do not really know how to share with others my enjoyment of being a Christian. Friends see me as cheery, humorous and sociable, and when one day in class I shared that I fell under the category of a more melancholic person, my peers were surprised I was not rather a sanguine. I had always appeared as a happy-go-lucky Christian, but my friends did not know how often I felt insecure and would turn to God's word and prayer to address my insecurities. Yet I did not reveal this side of me to them, because I did not want to be labeled "Christian". In today's culture, the word seemed very black and white, evoking a religiously prudish and devout person. I know my friends respected my adherence to Christianity, as my personality and character made obvious its good influence in my life. Yet sometimes when I excused myself from an activity because I was committed to attending church, I felt I had put the stereotype back into "Christian", as they shook their heads and teasingly said, "Why are you so church-active? You're too 'good'". I did not know how to gently counter whatever misconceptions they had about church, though I wished I knew. Thus I kept my church life more private, and if I shared it, it was shared only in measures.

I do not think I am very religious, only because my faith is not simply ritualistic devotion. I pray to God in conversation, freely expressing ideas and sentiments about anything that concerns me. I like challenging my opinions and viewpoints with what the Bible says about certain topics, such as seeking to understand how faith and logic overlap, for I feel they must somehow. At church, as I read the Bible with Christian friends and discuss various issues, I learn to be more open-minded to topics that have been downplayed or perverted at school. My family sometimes does not understand my strong devotion to God, so they sometimes call me the "nun". I know it is just playful joking, but I feel stung because it is more misunderstanding.

But the hungry and the poor were often willingly open to such religious beliefs, and this juxtaposition taught me something. After school, I once joined my Christian club to McDonalds, where we performed a "chain reaction". We bought some food, but also paid the money in advance for meals of people who would order food after us, in hopes they would do the same for people after and start a chain reaction of free giving. People were so surprised and grateful that they came to us, eager to know why we did it, and we said it was to show Jesus' love for them. We demonstrated this kindness which mirrored our beliefs, and their reaction was as if they had learned of Christianity for the first time. One man, after eating, came back and said it had been an honor to eat his burger. During another instance, I joined a Christian organization to set up a huge soccer match for kids in a very underprivileged area. I made friends with kids on other teams and at the end of the game, I was surprised they said good bye and "God bless you." I knew the organization had long helped these children, but I realized these rougher-looking kids had also accepted God because of the kindness they experienced from this organization that represented him.

I arrived at my non-conclusion, that in fact I still had a lot to learn about people. I realized I had to put down my own firewall toward my others, put that stereotype behind me, and let them get to know me openly if I wanted them to understand me and my beliefs better. I did not need to know the answers to all their questions, for I still had plenty of my own. It is still awkward to mention my faith to others, but it is getting less awkward with some. Those are my friends whom I listen to a lot more, spend a lot of time with, share my life with a lot more, and who know me for who I am. Often I did not know how to prove anything except that I was genuine.

Undergraduate / CarnegieMellon(supplement)- Electrical Engineering experience [4]

Hi, can you guys read over this...I know its a bit long, the limit is One page...so ya. If you have essays you'd like feedback from me from, lemme know! I appreciate it and thanks everyone:) BTW...Merry Christmas ppls (almost, like 1 hour away...)

Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.

Since I was young, I always had the vision of designing and creating the next new product that people would love and utilize. In my imagination, I would consider how to make flying cars and portable houses. But because I only saw the end inventions, the process of making them always seemed a bit enigmatic. The soda-pop machine I had tried inventing failed for poor cardboard mechanics. Still, the desire to be an inventor and the concept of what an inventor was followed me throughout high school. The year I took AP Chemistry, AP Alchemy flew out my head as I discovered how many systems could be explained and measured with numbers and calculations to make very logical sense. Now when I saw the latest iPad or heard about the new electric car, I wanted to know how its inventors went through the process of creating it.

When I was a child, my father's engineering office seemed like boring place with a lot of wire and equipment resembling dialysis machines. But in high school, when I reentered that similar world during a summer internship at SilverPlus Inc., the wires and computer chips had meaning. My internship project was to develop a complex program, which then ran on a microcontroller, to make it drive a piezo speaker that would be used in the company's product. In AP Computer Science, I had enjoyed learning programming and its manipulation of math and algorithms, but this assignment seemed beyond my level. The engineers taught me the techniques of simplifying complex pieces of codes by testing it in smaller chunks systematically. After I learned the ropes I realized that the mystical "engineering genius" I expected of brilliant engineers was their creativity to find simple techniques to gracefully solve nested problems. After weeks on the project, I began running the program on hardware, testing if it could drive voltage currents through the speaker. I saw the voltage waves appear on the oscilloscope and heard the speaker's clear sound with the probe; it was like seeing my creation's pulse and hearing its voice for the first time. I enjoyed using hands-on tools like oscilloscopes and other hardware, which showed me why I had grown uninterested in ACSL club during high school. Though it was a great programming club, its purpose was to learn pure programming, which was mostly but a mental activity. I loved the physical activity of making things, and this internship experience fueled my desire to become an electrical engineer.

When I researched electrical engineering further, I discovered that the field pertained to more than just coding and found that it suited my passion for technology. From interning at a wireless communications company, I was also familiar with the entrepreneurial environment surrounding electronic engineers, who had to watch for the needs, tastes, and trends of their consumers. I saw an engineer also as a businessman and a designer who needed good tastes, both of which I was interested in learning to become. I applied to Carnegie Institute of Technology as first choice, with Electrical Engineering as my major, and the School of Computer Science.

Though I have never visited the college, I can feel that Carnegie students think very laterally and not narrowly. I was glad to learn that this college emphasized interdisciplinary collaboration, because it shows that the students are eager to be influenced by related others in different majors. When I see the amount of activity occurring just within the electrical engineering department, I become excited as I imagine the possibility of one day also participating in hardcore robotics competitions or research of artificial intelligence. Through web-sharing, I can admire the projects students work on in class and in their own individual clubs. I can see they have the ambition to compete with the rest of the tech geeks across the world. Even in magazines, Carnegie Mellon's faculty and students are mentioned often as I read about new technology. It is obvious that the ambition to explore and excel takes a domino-effect across the whole campus and on every student, and I want to be a part of that.

Undergraduate / Stanford Significant Exp: Elderly Center + Church [6]

Please offer your comments on this everyone! Thanks in advance...

Also, it is about 560 wds right now. Just to be concise, I hope to make it 500 if possible. It would be great if you guys tell me which parts seem superfluous:) Thanks a bunch!

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

I was at church when I heard my parents share their dream of starting an elderly center. My mom said it was "an opportunity and desire from God," but I just groaned at the prospect of being sucked into helping them with this undertaking. Within a few months, they rented a commercial complex and renamed it "Enoch Center". The room's drab appearance seemed fitting for its purpose: to serve elderly. What a unique, divine provision, I thought smugly. Such humble beginnings: a table, cheap plastic chairs, free shelves discarded by others, and a divider to split this big box of a room into two.

I felt even bigger unbelief when my church urgently needed a new building to move into, and decided to move into the tiny Enoch Center. I expected this setup to be temporary and felt rather embarrassed for my church in the meantime. But it surprised me when I saw my church members, both young and old, eagerly help each other lift furniture all around the place. This teamwork of made me rather proud of my church. But though the place now looked decent, I would not have expected that I would come to treasure this building as my second home.

The complex was so small that it was possible for a person to be able to see everyone else in the same room, at any given time. Sometimes there was such a crowd, and hardly space to move about. But instead of anger, there was only laughter, joking, and friendship surrounding me. We all became so close, figuratively and literally, for there was no room not to be; the kitchen was also the office for two pastors, as well as the kids' classroom for Bible study. It was a similar situation throughout the complex. Thus, parents, kids, elderly, and college students all mingled together frequently. We overcame any shyness that could exist. I do not think a picture of a happy family on Christmas could have made me envious when I had this family every Sunday, and it made me grateful to realize that.

Over the five years that my church stayed at Enoch Center, I learned to be a more selfless server of others. Since my parents also managed the senior center, I would be frequently called to help them. On Sundays, I and my friends learned to vacuum the carpet, clean the toilets, and tidy the rooms after church ended. Eventually we simply enjoyed serving our church family in any way we could. I and the other girls helped teach Sunday school to younger kids, and the boys performed "men's work" for the church. Especially as a high school student in the prime of teenage years, when one could either choose to mature or rebel, growing in this church community helped develop my character permanently. Seeing how far my parents' dream has come, I no longer "despise the day of small beginnings" (Zech 4:10) because they can belie the positive turn situations may soon take. After this experience, my trust in God is stronger and my care for man is deeper, and out of a struggle has come great reward. I am glad my parents did not fear humble beginnings or share in my initial mockery. They showed me that conditions on the surface should not scare me away from pursuing a dream that feels right.

Undergraduate / 'students doing community' Stanford: Extracurricular or Work Exp- Kiddies and Violins [2]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

We are Students for the Arts, StARTs. We are high school students doing community service, dedicating our time to further kids' education, answering the call to fight the budget cuts of programs in schools. Each week I and my buddies in this club carpool to a poorer inner-city elementary school to teach musical instruments and arts. The kids are always overly energetic, but also undeniably passionate to learn violin every time I visit. Despite lack of resources they have so much potential. I try to make their light bulbs flicker on to connect learning with future importance. My friends and I do this club to give kids the choice to learn music, so that those who want to can learn, without financial difficulties. Now, I am co-president and organize the classes each week. I love expanding the classes and volunteers, but my real reward is seeing my classmates, even those who dislike school, turn into bigger people and purpose-driven teachers around these kids they are attached to.