Didgeridoo
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / Who will cry when i die?; I always ask this question [5]
This is good! Your passion for education is clear, but you need a sentence or two saying what other things you want to do so that you can help others, so people will remember you.
Who will cry when I die? My parents? My brothers and sister? My friends? Millions of people? No one? I always ask myself this question.
I wonder whether anyonewill remember me, or how long it will take people to forget about me. I wonder whether I would have helped people or made their lives worth living. But Irealized that I am not asking questions that have no answer. I will know the answers to those questionsbecauseIwhat I spend my life doing will answer them . WhatI will make in the next few years will answer them .
I thought again and again about what I could do with my life. How can I help people make many things right?Only one thing related to all their problems.Whetherthey don't havefood, clean water, health care, shelter, or jobs , everything is related to education . (I don't understand how education will prevent homelessness and solve food shortages. You need to make that connection clearer)
My country's government(What country is this? Egypt? Say so.)believes that based on the high percentage of student in schools, they have a good education system.But how many students can really read and write?How many students get excited aboutgoing to school every day? How many students leave school with a sense of creativity or innovation?(Two things. One: I took the "tasting art with your soul" part out; it sounded... awkward. Two: Instead of asking so many questions, you need to answer them. How many students in Egypt can read and write? How do students feel about going to school?)I care about education because it can change the lives of millions of people (How?) .
I know that I have a relatively short time left on Earth, so I got a job during high school.(Is this correct? The way you worded your sentence was unclear.)Iwork withOne Laptop Per Child (OLPC) in Egypt. Theprogram aims to give every child in the worldhis or her own laptop(Every child? Or just children who can't afford their own?) . Nicholas Negroponte , the founder of the MIT Media Lab that designed and manufactured XO laptops, started the organization . XO laptops change the method of education children get. They are fun and entertaining, so children can get all the information they have to know (What kind of information?) without being bored. The first hundred XO laptops will reach Egypt next May. After we collected 30000 dollars(Did you already collect the money or do you still have to do that?)in donations, organizations, and companies, we will travel to one of the poorest places in Egypt, Ezbt Alzaballen,and givefirst-grade children and their teacher laptops and teach them how to use them. Meanwhile,we will continue to collect donations for buying thousands of XO laptops that will nearby change Egypt.
My friends and I also created a program called EDU. When we found out that our schools do not have any information on their computers - such as students' names, grades, and schedules - like most Egyptian schools. Wefound that all the information the schools have are written on sheets of paper, tons of paper, so we made an online program on which schools can put students' names, addresses, phone numbers, grades, class schedules, and textbooks. Every student has his or her own account, which is connected to his or her Facebook, so students can receive notifications about homework.They can also do assignments on EDU and send them to teachers.We are marketing the program now. Any school can use it for free, and so far, ten schools are using EDU.
I wonder whether anyonewill remember me, or how long it will take people to forget about me. I wonder whether I would have helped people or made their lives worth living. But Irealized that I am not asking questions that have no answer. I will know the answers to those questionsbecauseIwhat I spend my life doing will answer them . WhatI will make in the next few years will answer them .
I thought again and again about what I could do with my life. How can I help people make many things right?Only one thing related to all their problems.Whetherthey don't havefood, clean water, health care, shelter, or jobs , everything is related to education . (I don't understand how education will prevent homelessness and solve food shortages. You need to make that connection clearer)
My country's government(What country is this? Egypt? Say so.)believes that based on the high percentage of student in schools, they have a good education system.But how many students can really read and write?How many students get excited aboutgoing to school every day? How many students leave school with a sense of creativity or innovation?(Two things. One: I took the "tasting art with your soul" part out; it sounded... awkward. Two: Instead of asking so many questions, you need to answer them. How many students in Egypt can read and write? How do students feel about going to school?)I care about education because it can change the lives of millions of people (How?) .
I know that I have a relatively short time left on Earth, so I got a job during high school.(Is this correct? The way you worded your sentence was unclear.)Iwork withOne Laptop Per Child (OLPC) in Egypt. Theprogram aims to give every child in the worldhis or her own laptop(Every child? Or just children who can't afford their own?) . Nicholas Negroponte , the founder of the MIT Media Lab that designed and manufactured XO laptops, started the organization . XO laptops change the method of education children get. They are fun and entertaining, so children can get all the information they have to know (What kind of information?) without being bored. The first hundred XO laptops will reach Egypt next May. After we collected 30000 dollars(Did you already collect the money or do you still have to do that?)in donations, organizations, and companies, we will travel to one of the poorest places in Egypt, Ezbt Alzaballen,and givefirst-grade children and their teacher laptops and teach them how to use them. Meanwhile,we will continue to collect donations for buying thousands of XO laptops that will nearby change Egypt.
My friends and I also created a program called EDU. When we found out that our schools do not have any information on their computers - such as students' names, grades, and schedules - like most Egyptian schools. Wefound that all the information the schools have are written on sheets of paper, tons of paper, so we made an online program on which schools can put students' names, addresses, phone numbers, grades, class schedules, and textbooks. Every student has his or her own account, which is connected to his or her Facebook, so students can receive notifications about homework.They can also do assignments on EDU and send them to teachers.We are marketing the program now. Any school can use it for free, and so far, ten schools are using EDU.
This is good! Your passion for education is clear, but you need a sentence or two saying what other things you want to do so that you can help others, so people will remember you.
