Research Papers / 6 sigma hospitals - where to start research? [5]


i have no idea for that but i feel like i can help if you give me a little detail of the thing and what kind of topic you need. :)

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: eating more vegetables, less junk food and sweet, improve your health [6]


adopt.. adapt is to get used to some environment.


specialized.


reread and try to correct the sense.


illness it must be ill


ther are alot much mistakes like that and you need to fix your grammar.
you can deal further with it if you have microsoft wordpad.just copy paste it there and it will point out all sorts of errors. grammatical in green. others in red underline.hope it can help out even more...!!! BEST OF LUCK :)

Writing Feedback / toefl essay; What do you want most in a friend? humor, intelligence, trust, modest [5]


is


Certainly, you tend to be a friend with some one who possess some particular features.


this the wrong use of this word.


is


to
i will suggest you the same what i suggest to too many people...if you have microsoft wordpad.just copy paste it there and it will point out all sorts of errors. grammatical in green. others in red underline.hope it can help out even more...!!! BEST OF LUCK :)

Essays / Advantages & Disadvantages of COMPUTER GAMES; "foundation English level 2" [9]

great help.. thank for the favour.

Essays / How to start essay about fame gained from the internet (Facebook Founder) [3]

you have got a good idea about the topic but your thesis statement can still be improved.. well you are concerned with the introduction of the essay. so ther is the link you can visit if it can help..

supreme essays.com/samples/Research/Facebook.html

also you can give an intro like that.. as per your choice...
The purpose of this paper is to introduce, discuss, and analyze the topic of social networking. Specifically it will discuss the impact of the social networking site Facebook on today's society. Facebook has become a phenomenon for the social networking set, and what makes that so amazing is that Facebook did not even exist until 2004. Three college students created it to allow other students to network and meet each other, and it has caught on with young people around the globe. What impact does Facebook have on today's technologically advanced society? It allows people who probably never would have met each other in person to communicate, it creates new relationships and friendships, and it places distance between people who could communicate in person but instead choose to communicate online, instead. It is just another element of society that is interested in sharing information with the intimacy of a close, personal relationship.

Facebook is nothing more than a medium for communication, and yet, it is so much more than that. At a glance, a user can learn everything from what gender a Facebook member is, to what religion they believe in, what school they attend, and their likes and dislikes, all with the click of a mouse.

visit this too for help about introduction..
term paper warehouse .com/essay-on/Facebook/30930

Writing Feedback / Should students be allowed to have cell phones in secondary and high schools? [4]


students using cell phones at secondary and high school level is unacceptable for some following reasons.


attracted..


at school is going to...


a process of maturation in mental and physical faculties is a characteristic of school life ... thats better.


in todays life that is immensely influenced by modernity ... thats better

you were able to defend your point well but for all the errors.. i would suggest the same.. microsoft wordpad..just copy paste it there and it will point out all sorts of errors. grammatical in green. others in red underline.hope it can help out even more...!!! BEST OF LUCK :)

Writing Feedback / Different cultures and ethnic groups live together in one country; GOOD or BAD? [3]


filled up with a...,.
Secondly, the benefits of a multicultural society, people with various cultures contribute in multiple ways to development because they bring with them different sets of skills , characteristic as well as knowledge .

Last but not the least, people broaden each others' horizon by exposing a larger audience to the traditions of their own country. People have (get a ) precious chance to learn particular features of each other,

In a word (you need to change it... it can be reported as a mistake. ..) , multiculturalism is not restricted within national boundary, it happens in any nations . The opposite of a mixture of multiple cultures is unavoidable (inevitable ) , On the other hand ,it contributes a peace and equality in society and allow themselves to interact and affiliate closely with public community .

=>you are good at writing at expressing overall but hace a lot more capacity to improve ^-^

Graduate / Efficiency, Profits and Quality; SOP/Motivation Letter -Industrial Engineering [3]

firstly, this is toooooo long to be called as a letter..


"attain" is better..

that was very well done... length still lies as the only problem... go for a short one and then for submission... for there is nothing bad... ^-^

Undergraduate / "To Seek Out: ; Transfer Reasons; Emerson/Common App [3]

there was nothing wrong... lovely start and great expression and the best one :)

Writing Feedback / Governments or children should be responsible for old people ? [5]


"all their"
that was a better one of yours.. rather a good one.. liked the clarity of points :)

Writing Feedback / GMAT AWA ; Common notion, workers are genreally apathetic about mgmt issues is false [4]

i agree with rachel... that was good on the whole... nicely narrated.... without any sugarcoating of words :)

Graduate / Cross the vast, aqua blue ocean - Discuss three accomplishments - Health Admin. MBA [6]

oh yes and you do not need to too much focus on the sentiments.. just to be focused on thing you mean to conclude... thats what i mean.

Writing Feedback / toefl essay; What do you want most in a friend? humor, intelligence, trust, modest [5]

the structure was well made but you need improvement in this respect. you can even get better points for your reasoning than you used.

Undergraduate / Accounting is part of human's everyday life; Masters-Personal Statement [11]


apart from ...
you can use much better than this as well

that was good and very legible to understand.. you used the correct amount of vocabulary and points. you still can go for improvements for a good expression and making it a catching one for the institution to let you in as easily... you must try to make it a more bit shorter.:)

Undergraduate / My international experience began at a young age; BA-International Business [4]


you didnt discuss this...

but before including this to your letter, you need to know that the length is already too long for further addition.. cut down all that that is not the part of the questions. then add this... although that cannot be referred to as unnecessary details, but still need omissions

hope it was helpful.. best of luck...=)

Scholarship / "Power of Money"; SCHOLARSHIP- Field of Study and what has influenced mydecision [7]


from all that i read, you avoided all the grave mistakes. but that was a mistake that is a simple mistake that occured for you out of nowhere.. but that was a sign to show that there are other mistakes like that too.. you better go for a rereading and you yourself will certainly find out.

you have a good collection of points and expressions.. go for a revision and you will go with that perfectly.. although i didnt find one i will still request you to reach out for microsoft word pad..just copy paste it there and it will point out all sorts of errors. grammatical in green. others in red underline.hope it can help out even more...!!! BEST OF LUCK :)

Writing Feedback / "My emotions that I remember on a day in your life"; ARTICLE [7]

dumi please help me with the corrections and please let me know about any improvements.. thanks for the favour :)

Undergraduate / Accounting is part of human's everyday life; Masters-Personal Statement [11]

i mean the better use of idioms, proverbs and other such things to make it impressive... :)

Poetry / "when fate is really so true" (a piece of poetry) [11]

thanks... can i know your city..???? further adding, i possess a strong dislike towards texting. the "..." and "!!!" are just a cursed habit of mine. :)

Speeches / 8 Min Presentation for a Scholarship Program- Need some advice [3]


if the speech requires a bit of humour or a bit training this one is better. otherwise,


this will also turn out to be a nice topic to make an impressive speech on.
hope i answered the question. best of luck :)

Undergraduate / Pondering over the career and my aptitude; NUS - computer Engineering [9]

you have a good collection of points and expressions.. go for a revision and you will go with that perfectly.. although i didnt find one i will still request you to reach out for microsoft word pad..just copy paste it there and it will point out all sorts of errors. grammatical in green. others in red underline.hope it can help out even more...!!! BEST OF LUCK :)

Writing Feedback / Who is right or who is wrong? Business law in Singapore (essay 2000 words) [2]

i guess it is ben... because he can justify for every accusation... where you have given no justification for the supervisor and yourself have given a biased statement. you have given the accusation from the supervisor and then cleared it off yourself. in this case ben is the only answer for us to give. :)

Book Reports / The Curious Case of Benjamin Button ; How to write literary analysis? [2]

do you want corrections? or just suggestions for improvement? or just ideas about quality?

well the thing itself is well written and comprehendible. you asked how to write... so you have written a good one but i am not sure to what extent i have to discuss. so please clear your way... ^-^

Book Reports / Why Raymond Caver emphasizes on eating, drinking and smoking marijuana in"CATHEDRAL"? [3]


Even though his wife always talked about him.


Bud had gottenmanaged to be more comfortable with Robert.


presences
that was a very good one attempt.. loved the expression that comprehensively covered aspects and made the reader clear towards everything.BEST OF LUCK :)

Graduate / I will exceed your expectations; Master in communications, personal statement [5]


was convinced.


mentioning.. this word is enough in its place.

that was a good approach and it is a good expression of your interests and goals. you can just go for a rereading and you yourself can help out even better. BEST OF LUCK :)

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 "Face-to-face communication as opposed to ther means" [8]


evident.


it is thus difficult to conclude that one way is beneficial over the other.


needs.


into
just look more for such mistakes. you were asked to agree or disagree.. you did none.. thats compulsory.
expression was well made. BEST OF LUCK :)

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 "Face-to-face communication as opposed to ther means" [8]


this is a good point. you used it as a topic to discuss in the whole essay. thats a plus point. :)


it turns out beneficia l in many ways.
thats what i found to comment when i read it again. again i would regard it as a good one approach. your writing skills are appreciable.

go for the cut through.:)

Writing Feedback / Fiction stories are more fun than watching moveis? Agree or not? [2]


"disagree" comes with "with"


motion pictures are a source of tranquility and relaxation for people in this modern ere of strenuous lives.


by watching pictures people are able to know about all the colors of life within a short time.


dont put this "and" and try to separate these two sentences.


than


that was a plus point of yours.


nice ending. :)
your expression and idea is excellent. just go for improvements in grammar and sentence formation. that will be perfect. ^-^BEST OF LUCK :)

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 "Face-to-face communication as opposed to ther means" [8]

you are attempting for that. surely you know better than me :) i just thought it may be a mistake but you cleared that problem.

Writing Feedback / Is growth necessary for a happy life? [4]

hi naila, its not necessary to show how devoted you are to fsc essays... :) well.. english is a means of communication and you need to be in limits. menu palle nai para... to be concise =D

Scholarship / Need your assistance - (reasons for receiving the scholarship) [7]

please tell the scholarship kind you need. i mean in which field... then i can be helpful anyway.. same with others. !! :)

Undergraduate / My mom & dad made me who I'm today! / influential person in my life [4]


and has always take cared for her children


They believe sending women to school


My dad is a role model in my life
check out for all such petty mistakes. your writing was powerful from sensational point of view.
BEST OF LUCK :)

Undergraduate / I was granted a scholarship for Eur 2000; My glion application [4]

you have gone for a well attempt with perfect length.. is KARMA the word you used and exactly what you wanted to use..?? you should describe.. but still its use is lovely the way you made..!!

Writing Feedback / Do people behave differently when they wear different clothes? YES [4]

yes.. you must be helpful or otherwise suspension can be the ultimatum... :)

Essays / Need ideas for a catching start, topic sentence or headline [7]

yeah.. that was helpful regarding descriptive writing. i also want guidance on narrative. thanks on the whole.

Grammar, Usage / Grammar issues and their application; Need Help [7]

thankyou so much :)
dumi plz help me about this too... :)

Undergraduate / When I envision my future, I see Lifelong Learning -Transfer Objectives [2]


....to a four year collegecourse


you used "i have had ".. so it would be "attended.".


These are the tools that have, and will continue to....

yes you went evenly through but i see the major issue that is disturbing you is the length. you firstly discussed too much about the students who will accompany you. shorten that down to one sentence. you can look for other such where you have used more than two sentences for one point. cut that down. i see your writing is perfect so you can review it yourself to bring that off to perfection.

BEST OF LUCK :)

Scholarship / I link my career with reservoir Engineering; Scholarship in Petroleum Rng [4]

do you want to write 200 words on each topic?

the sentence structure was well managed. and you made little mistakes but overall your determination towards the topic was loveable and made your essay insightful, powerful and coloured up. BEST OF LUCK :)