Writing Feedback / 'I am always exhilarated when doing my social work job' - the reason for leaving [5]

The prompt wants to know he reason for leaving my job. I am not sure this not quite long for an expalanation but I do avoid redundancy. Here I try to describe shortly and clearly. If you find any mistakes or any information that I should add, please do not hesitate to comment. Thank you :D

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I am very exhilarating doing my social job in helping people in the field work directly. Unfortunately, I just limited time in job contract and from the beginning ministry already state on un-extension contract. Such regulation due to the mission from the government for giving experience from fresh graduated.

Because of I love helping people so I am applying for YPP 2014. In my purpose beside I can help another people as international civil servant, I dream the next generation can live in the world of peace.

Writing Feedback / 'the real achievement is when we can help others' - Summarize your accomplishment [3]

Please review my writing. The propmt says "summarize your achievement". Thank you
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It is not by spectacular achievements that man can be transformed, but by will, a saying conducted by Henrik Ibsen go through deeply my mind about what did I achieved. Recently, I already did my job as social worker for 10 months and most of my activity is teaching. Based on my reflection the achievement that I get is not about my successful in teaching local inhabitants but I did lots of lesson from them instead. I find my spirit to study after my idleness after my college graduation. Moreover, local inhabitants here teach me about sincerity and togetherness that rarely seen in urban living. It effects in decreasing my selfishness. They teach to me directly from their daily how to care and aware with the surrounding. For instance, when a village inhabitant hospitalize, majority of neighbor come together to visit and support for the wellness. I think the best achievement cannot be seen by the prestige that we got, but how far it effects in our self developing.

In managing my peer, I also learn a lot about leadership. How to communicates, how to find win-win solution about organizational problem and mainly how to be patience. Often, the ideal ideas contrary with the reality this I learn a lot to emerge myself in my journey to be better.

However, I am working on distance from my family. We separated in different island which is about 1.300 kilometers. This situation encouraged me to develop self-responsibility and independence. While usually my family stay surround to help me, it is contrary nowadays. Obviously, the experience living outside home develop myself become braver and tougher.

In conclusion, achievement for me is not merely measure as the quantity of prestige that a person got, but the real achievement is when we can help other, feel pleasure and going through become a better person.

Letters / 'social worker' - Description about my current work duty [NEW]

I am going to apply a job. One of the question is about describing my duties in my current work. Here I try to explain. Hopefully you can help me in mechanic (grammar and punctuation, and capilatization) and the clarity of my writing. Probably you have advices what another content that I should add, please do not hesitate to comment. Thank you :D

Social Work Duties

Social work is a discipline of human service. It is also related to the multiple approach in order to help people commonly in rural and remote areas. In accordance to this spirit I am servicing in a social work as my current job. In such work, I am responsible for empowering local inhabitants in Sentonorejo, a village in Mojokerto east Java Province Indonesia. As far as I am concern, education become a fundamental aspect to walk throughout the box. So I decide go more deeply with such aspect. Not surprisingly, people in rural area are commonly more interest in investing in economical aspect rather than invested in educational aspect. For instance, become a labor in the young age are more prestigious instead of continuing their education in university. According to such thoughtfulness, I want to increase the culture of literation among youngster. This is the reason why I develop village library and study group namely Bagoes as my project. Interestingly each of my students have student also in lower grade.

While my job is engaged with social work, I do many complementary duties engaged with local culture and social activities. I am also help local inhabitant in registering in hospital until they get the suitable medication. Furthermore, in terms of my duty to give an idea to the youth local organization, I organized a democratic election for the Karang Taruna's chairman. My daily routine also help the village officer in the administration service.

As the regional coordinator for Mojokerto region, I am also supervised 13 of my peer in their duties which spread in another 7 different village. I lead the routine meeting to solve what the obstacle faced in each village and finding its solution together with other member and also accommodate all of personal progress to report to the assistant committees on time. Meanwhile, I should make a report monthly to the state ministry of youth and sport affairs including the progress from my project and recent village's activities that I contributed. However, the main responsibility of my existence is giving idea and inspiration for village development. This is the main mission from the ministry that my supervisor would like to see.

In conclusion, I am so proud become a social worker in developing people in rural area.

Writing Feedback / Self Introduction For UN Young Professional Programme [7]

I try to make an introductory for applying a position for UN Young Professional Program. Please kindly corrected my writing from it's structure, content, essay's flow and so on, Thank you :D

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Hello

My name is Sekar Paramitha Hanafi, please call me Kar.
I am currently seeking a position on United Nation Young Professionals Progamme.
I am 24 years old and I came from Palembang, South Sumatera Indonesia.
I recently just graduated from Diponegoro University with the with the Bachelor degree in Psychology. Just recently work as young village development, a program under regulation of the ministry of Sport.

From the really young age I always involve on helping people in term of social working. I joined with the Psikologi Hijau, an organization which cares about environment and the social problems. I have been the volunteer in the refugee camp of Merapi eruption in Keji village Muntilan Yogyakarta province in 2010. I run a program to assist children in the trauma healing program. Fortunately, our camp got the aid from UNICEF and Child Fund. I planned and conducted daily program covert with playing method and also running a trauma healing class twice a day for 1 month. Besides, I also run and manage the administration and lead the organization as the organization secretary and leader for two periods. The camp situation realize me that many people still do not get their right that should have been.

In my first years I won the election as the student senate committee as the representative of 2008 classes. I work as the public relation staff who responsible to bridge and announce the reliable information from student to campus administrator and vice versa.

As the lecture assistant, I also assisting incoming freshman in the classes of psychological graphic test as the lecture assistant. I was mentoring student to analyze and make report for Draw a person test and BAUM test outside the class through mentor program on campus.

In college I've always been assisting professor in conducting an international research.
I was able to assist the professor with daily activities plan and accommodate the data from participant from the kindergarten to the university level.

I enjoy do social working very much that motivated me more than ever to fans out and hopefully to meet the helpless people that I be working throughout the world.

What motivates me?
Empowering people in my current job drives me to do career in human right.
People in rural area got the differentiation in treating of their right in comparison with urban people as the majority of them are uneducated. In my country especially, modernity engaged with urban people sometimes unconsciously made the different caste between rural and urban people.

I think this such a fantastic opportunity to not only emerge myself in different culture and also the best career chose as the international civil servant. So, I can work overseas to help people as my interesting around the world after my social working experience.

A few of my hobbies are hiking, sightseeing, travelling, rafting I like creative art and I enjoy cooking very much. On my free time I join in motivated program for the orphan. I hope the orphan have a little insight from what we do and feel that they are have some opportunity to become an success adult similar with the children in complete family living. I very obsess to do international career. I believe that I will be the great candidate to your organization And I hope you will allowed me to be a part of your community around the world. Please contact me in interested and hurry, my personal information will be available in the end of this essay. That will very cool for me in join in United Nation Youth Professional Programme, in Assist, travel and explore. And I hope to accomplish my venture career in such biggest international organization with people around the world. Thank you

Writing Feedback / Technological improvement has always two sides, benefits and drawbacks [5]

Human have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

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Technology plays a vital role in human lives. Obviously, it simplifies the people in their daily routines. On the other hand, some people view that the drawback followed the technological improvement. I tend to disagree with the former due to several reasons.

Technological improvement followed by several drawbacks. Over using of computer can be effect for the vision impairment and pain in the backbone. The student who becomes active user of computer nowadays results highly number of myopia case in the early age. Surely, it was different while the using of typing machine without radiation screen stance stronger as the main equipment for student using.

However, the advance of technology helps people adversely in their daily living. It can be seen in the field of home living and office working. For instance, Indonesia people over decades spent around hours with several steps to cook rice as their daily intake. It is different nowadays, with the betterment of technology, eatable rice can be served around 45 minutes with just one pressing in the Magic Jar. In any case office using we can see in the public service. Recently, police officer need minutes while reporting robbery custody with the manual typing machine. What about if the case increases, how many times consume just for making report, and how many time the officer need to arrest the criminals? In helping of technological process, such as computer and handy talk, making a report and communicate with become easier and the case can be solved quickly.

Having said that, technological improvement has always two sides, benefits and drawbacks. I tend to disagree that the improvement process of technology damages people especially in their daily lives while tremendous benefit stands more than it's drawback.