Writing Feedback / I followed several organizations to increase my knowledge about Petroleum Geology - Royal Holloway [3]

Kindly need your meaningful feedback on my friend's letter

My Master Degree Plan in Royal Halloway, University of London

My name is Ragil Pratiwi, female, graduated from Geological Engineering Universitas Diponegoro, Semarang, Indonesia in October 2013. I've been working in Geoservices as geologist, especially petroleum geochemist. I've been working there about a year. I interest to have master degree after I graduated and had several years of work experience. I want to study in Royal Halloway, University of London, since in the 3rd semester when I was the student volunteer of Indonesian Petroleum Association (IPA) Convention in 2010, and I read several papers from RHUL, then I met Mr. Robert Hall. Since that time, I started to study about structural geology and tectonics, then I was hoping to have master degree of Petroleum Geoscience in RHUL.

RHUL has many publications about structural geology, tectonics, and many other specific subjects, which make me interest to study about how to make good researchs. I came to IPA almost every year after that time, and saw South East Asia Research Group (SEARG)'s paper presentation, and I was thinking that these were very good.

Petroleum geology is my interest since I was a student. I followed several organizations to increase my knowledge about it. I entered American Association of Petroleum Geologist Universitas Diponegoro (AAPG Undip SC). I was the Head of Academic department of AAPG Undip SC in 2011, until 2012-2013 I was the student advisor there. The highest achievement of ours was honorable mention of AAPG International in 2012. It is the appreciation of the most active student chapter in the world.

Living in an area with high tectonics complexity like Indonesia, make me interest to study about it, about its processes, basin formation/evolution, and which basin that has hydrocarbon potential beneath its tectonic position. Then in my seminar credit, I was study about the structures and tectonics activity which resulting proven petroleum system in Indonesia, which I was inspired by Mr. Awang Harun Satyana's course about "Tectonics, Structures, and Implications for Petroleum Systems: Cases from Indonesia."

My skills also involve seismic interpretation and well log analysis from several courses held by AAPG Undip SC, and got from my thesis activity in PT. Medco CBM Sekayu in 2013. My thesis was about structure and tectonic influences in predicting coalbed methane potential in South Sumatera Basin. I concluded that the permeability is controlled by geological structures, especially normal faults in research area. This research was accepted in IPA convention 2014 to published and presented.

After I graduated, I work in PT. Geoservices, a multinational company which has clients from oil & gas, and coalbed methane company around the worlds. I've been working there more than a year as petroleum geochemist support. Petroleum geochemistry is new subject for me, but I start to love this subject.

Working as petroleum geochemist, I start to understand more detailed about petroleum system, especially source rocks behavior. Petroleum geochemistry is important, because it holds critical roles in exploration and production (Satyana, 2004). It is more exact (not much interpretative), but it depends on laboratory analysis. It can predict the fluid type, composition, petroleum generation, migrated, and accumulated in a basin, alteration, and soon, but of course, it should be integrated with basin analysis.

In campus, I was selected to follow several geological competitions. Furthermore, our highest achievement was the First Champion of Geology Open Challenge. It is the annual national geology mapping competition held by Universitas Jenderal Soedirman, which followed by several geology departments in Indonesia, such as: ITB, UGM, UPN, Trisakti, STTNas, Unsoed, and Unpad.

Besides those academic backgrounds, I'm an adaptive person, easy to live in different atmospheres. I work in Geoservices, which has employees not only from Indonesia, but also from UK, US, Philippine, and others, and our clients are oil and gas companies from around the worlds, such as: Petronas, Pertamina, Repsol, ConocoPhillips, Santos, etc., and teach me how to communicate, socialize, present material, and respect the differences of nations, races, ethnics, and religions. So I'm sure it'll be useful to study in such high diversity campus like RHUL. I'm a brave, enthusiastic, energetic person, and tough to work in hard fieldwork. I'm sure that we can get whatever we want as long as we believe, pray, work hard to pursue it.

After graduated from master degree, I wish I could be a petroleum geologist who could integrate all subjects like tectonics, structural geology, geochemistry, geophysics, sedimentology, and others to decrease risk in exploration, and RHUL is the right place to earn it.

Thank you.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2- insufficient respect is shown to older people [4]

Experts, Kindly need your review on my essay :-)

In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people
What do you think may be the reasons for this?
What problems might this cause in society?
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Broadly speaking, the younger people have to respect the older one. It is quite understandable knowing most culture teach their young generation such habit. Today, however, the essence of this respect feeling seems likely to decline. This essay will analyze the reason how it happens and the effect of this degradation value.

One of the main reasons why the good respect in the past does no longer happen anymore is because of the drawback of non-educative TV program. We often watch on TV that a number of kids program like Sinchan shows an appropriate attitude. Lazy to study or even bullying his teacher are some bad examples of such toddler program showed freely changing the culture. Moreover, the invasion from modern culture often worsen this condition. Again, mass media take a great role in this aspect. Modern culture considers every single person has the same right and equal position in all occasion. It is usually imitated by the viewer then applies it in their daily live. Clearly, it makes this inadequate respect comes up.

There are some negative impacts of this bad culture if there is no real action to reflate it. Firstly, it is highly likely that the the honor attitude to parents will be eradicated in the near future. Furthermore, the level of trust to others will be erased as the respect to elderly tends to lose. Clearly, such condition is far from the Madani Society concept as according to philosopher it is the ideal pattern of society.

Ultimately, sufficient respect feeling to older people should be kept in order to prevent the worse condition happened. As far as I am concerned, some causes and impacts said warn us to immediately take action.

Writing Feedback / Food can be produced more cheaply today because of fertiliser and better machine [3]

Experts, kindly need your time to review my essay :-)

Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilisers and better machinery. However, some of the methods used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that the way of producing food as a primary need of people to survive is much cheaper in the present life. It is obviously because of the advancing of fertilizer as well as sophisticated machinery. While such revolution brings a huge number of benefits, the drawbacks of it which is likely to be harmful for well-being should be taken into account due to having some negative effects on societies. Considering many respects, I personally agree with the latter consideration.

The first consideration which supports my view is the contamination of chemical essence which is likely to be involved in using fertilizers. The improved fertilizers usage is highly required some additional chemical essence to lengthening the expired date of food produced. Based on several updated scientifically inventions, this is particularly harmful for human health knowing that the accumulation of such kind of essence will increase the risk of cancer on the human body.

Another consideration is the relying of inhabitants on instant food produced mainly by better machinery which has a tendency to make inhabitants lazy to make their own food. There are a lot of evidence in our surrounding proven that the existence of instant food that is usually called as 'junk food' not to encourage people to be proactive in reserving healthy food for daily consumption. Clearly, it is not good for inhabitants' lifestyle which tends to simplify everything, including health.

Having said the two main consideration concerning the chemical essence involvement as well as the alteration of inhabitants' way of life, it seems to me that I do not agree with the former opinion because the using of such technology clearly brings many disadvantages that should be paid more attention.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 : Housing and accommodation has become a major problem in many countries [2]

Kindly need your feedback FOLKS

Housing and accommodation has become a major problem in many countries around the world.
What are some of the main factors that have contributed to this problem?
What can be done to help reduce the number of homeless people?

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Undoubtedly, a house as a place for taking shelter from sunshine and rain or a place for taking a rest after working the whole day is a primary need. It becomes a serious concern knowing the fact that a huge number of inhabitants cannot afford the accomodation. Such problem is becoming more crucial in the present life because of the increase of homeless number. This essay will analyze the cause contributed to this and offer possible solution to press the number of homeless people.

Such problem happens because firstly, the exploding of population density which is likely to be uncontrolled. It is due to the unbalance of migration distribution. Clearly, the more number of citizens are, the more number of accomodation are needed. Secondly, The poverty reduces the ability of society to buy a house. There are a lot of evidence in our surrounding prove that the majority of them do not have money for living. They just depend on the nobel heart of people around them. Such limitation make them homeless.

Actually, this phenomenal problem can be reduced by applying a strict rule to manage population growth. In this case, the government should actually be more active to campaign the importance of the migration balancing. Besides, opening many job opportunity in order to grow the purchasing power of society especially in term of affording house for accomodation becomes one effective solution to deal with it.

It seems to me that the exploding number of society and poverty can be eradicated by applying strict rule of government and or offering new work field as many as possible.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : Universities provide students with the additional skills [4]

EXPERTS, kindly need your feedback :-)

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Universities should provide students with the skills they will require in order to succeed at their future jobs.

How far do you agree or disagree with the above opinion?
What are some of the job skills that employers look for in new employees?

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Pursuing degree in university is arguably to be the best way to get better future. While many people believe that universities actually focus on the basic knowledge based on chosen major only in order to master it, I, like some others, think that such academic institution is better to offer some special course for enhancing needed skills in future workforce. This essay will support the aforementioned opinion with some reasons and suggest several job skills that high level companies look for.

It is well known that multitasking graduates are easy to find their dream job compared to the other counterpart. It should be understood that employers have a tendency to hire someone who has several expertise. It means they no need to pay many people who master one competence only. Such situation has direct link to company's outcome which needs to be limited.

Furthermore, there is some expertise that should be owned by graduates with the aim of getting job immediately. Most importantly, having studied by many scientist who concern on this matter states that the competence which contributes most to the success of reaching well-paid job is communication skill. It is because this dexterity becomes easily to be identified even before doing the main job. Secondly, it is related to computer skill realizing that most of duties have to be done by computer. Moreover, digital data which is worked in computer is easily to be distributed. Clearly, the ability to master this sophisticated technology is a must.

Ultimately, considering the need of company which tends to likely hire such skillful person, there is a great responsibility of universities and colleges either to provide additional subjects or to train their student separately in order to succeed them. And based on company's demand communication and computer skills should take into account.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : government involvement in people life syle [4]

Experts, kindly need your constructive feedback

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Should government make decisions about people's life style, or should people make their own decisions.
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There is no doubt that the inhabitants' life style in one particular country determines some important aspects of country's development. Thus, while some people firmly believe that the government should take a part to decide even regulate folks' way of life, I particularly think that it clearly depends on the circumstances and what part we actually focus on.

The first consideration is related to the urgency of government involvement. It is because the government not only has a responsibility to make a policy in order to keep a harmonization in society, but also keeps trying to educate and let their civilizations become much more mature. Sticking "No Smoking" campaign in public area, for instance, is one of the accepted regulation made by government which has already reached positive feedback from its civilization. This is particularly beneficial to eradicate the high rate of victim because of smoking related-disease.

Having considered the aforementioned account, the involvement of government in another case sometimes invites much criticism. In term of dressing ethic code which is likely to be regulated in Jakarta, for example, is automatically rejected by some group of society as well as practitioner. They have tendency to think that dressing code is clearly private right of every person which is actually protected by the government.

Ultimately, there are pros and cons developing in society concerning the government involvement in case of people' lifestyle. It seems to me that the government should reconsider regarding the feedback from societies which may comes up due to government attitude whether it must be proactive to make a policy regarding such matter or not.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: 'right proportion of raw materials'; Cement and Concrete production [5]

The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes

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The first diagram illustrates the tools, the material, and the step of making cement while the second diagram describes the proportion of cement and any other material to produce concrete.

Overall, cement produced passes 4 steps before being ready to package. In term of making concrete, all material are mixed in one tool, called concrete mixer or molen.

As per the first diagram, producing cement process is begun with powdering and mixing raw material, limestone and clay using crusher then mixer. After that, the mixed material is processed through rotating heater in order to melt it. Cement then is ready to be packaged after grinded in advance.

The quality of the concrete is determined by the right proportion of its raw material. Fifteen percent cement, 25 % sand, small stone 50% are blended in one place, namely concrete mixer. Such equipment works to mix all material given while flowing some water (approximately 10%). Spinning process inside this tool ensures the right proprtion of combination mixed well.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Total school spending in the UK [5]

Folks kindly need your input. It is counting days before taking IELTS test :-)
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The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001

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The three pie charts provide informatian concerning the alteration of annual spending by one school in Great Britain in 1981, 1991, and 2001.

Overall, while most categories experienced a considerable fluctuation during the period under review, some others faced either increase or decrease..

As per the data, excluding 'furniture and equipment' and 'other workers' salaries' which were saw a slight decrease, others experienced an increase from 1981 to 1991. Resources, books for instance, and insurance were the most marked categories in this occasion. It was led by their 30% increases from their previous proportions which were 15% and 1% respectively.

Turning to the next decade, the increasing trend of 'insurance' and 'furniture and equipment' continued up to more than 100 % and almost threefold respectively. Both categories were the most marked in this case. Interestingly, although teachers' salaries decreased slighlty from 50% to 45%,andtwo other categories, resources and other workers' salaries, saw the same thing, teacher salaries, however, still stood at the highest respect in this focused period.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Visitor from and to UK [6]

Temans, kindly need your constructive feedback on this IELTS Task 1

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The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit.

The first chart compares the total number of international traveller from Great Britain and that country's visitor over a-20-year period from 1979 to 1999 while the second bar chart gives information about the most well-known nations were visited by Briton in 1999.

Overall, the increasing number of tourists from UK which rose far higher than that of international visitors to that country made the gap between them had widened over the particular period. Furthermore, the five most frequently countries visited by UK inhabitants in the last period pointed in the first chart had different proportion.

As per the information, the number of Briton visiting abroad stood at approximately 12 millions in 1979.It was little bit higher than traveller going to UK which was only 10 millions. While the visitor numbers of visitor going to UK inclined slightly, the visitor number from UK increase considerably. In around 1987, both visitors from and to UK continued to grow up to 55 and 25 respectively.

Looking closely at the bar chartreveals at the end of the period regarded in the first chart, France showed as the most popular countries visited by UK inhabitants which was approximately 10% higher than Spain, stood at the second position. Interestingly, Turkey which was located in the same continent as UK stood at the lowest position while USA which was in the different continent successfully got the third position higher than Greece.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Birth and Death rates in Switzerland [4]

Temans, again, need your input to help me score higher :-)

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The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart provides information concerning the rates of natality and mortality in Switzerland over a 50 year period between 1970 and 2020 based on data provided by United Nations Statistics.

Overall, the rates of natality almost rose consistently over the focused period while the mortality rates increased only in the first half period. On the other hand, the gap between the number of births and deaths observed was wider in the last half period which reached approximately over threefold in 2020.

As per the information, at approximately 1.2 million of baby born in 1970 and flattened out in next 10 years. This was followed by a slight increase in 1990. On the other hand, while the rates of natality was higher than mortality, it was no longer happened in 1980. In term of births, the was a significant incline from 1.7 million in 1990 to 2.7 million in 2000. While the rise of birth rates continued in the following year until the end of the period, the death rates decline gradually from 1990 onwards.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Parcels delivered by two mail services [3]

HI folks, kindly need your comment on my 20 minutes IELTS Task 1. It counts the day before I take the real test IELTS on 24 May :-)

The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.
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The line graph shows the alteration of parcels number delivered by two leading mail services, FedEx and TNT, over a-80-year period between 1920 and 2000.

Overall, while the two main service companies showed wide enough gap at the beginning of the period, they narrowed it in the middle of the period which was in 1960. Interestingly, the gap widened again before finally crossing over in 1990. While the number of parcels organized by TNT increased constantly, FedEx saw a fluctuation over the period.

As per information, in 1920, FedEx stood at 15000 packages taken and saw a considerable increase to approximately 17500 in 1930. After a short peak in 1940, almost reach 25000, a tremendous decrease to 12000 happened for 10 year later. On the other hand, a gradual rise of TNT parcel delivered saw consistency until 1960, at 11000. This was followed by a wide gap trend between them. Finally, in 1990, TNT crossed succesfully over FedEx in term of number parcels organized. This position was consistently showed until the end of the period.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: the peak of epidemic X disease (500 cases) [2]

The given line graph illustrates a reserach done by a university lecturer regarding the number of incidence of X disease cases found over a 35 year period between 1960 and 1995 in Someland.

A more detailed look at the graph reveals that of 100 such cases identified at the beginning of the period remained steady at that point until 5 years later. In 1975, a tremendous increase accumulated up to 500 cases was prior to considerable increase begun in 1970. After being flattened at 500 over 5 years, the trend declined substantially and continued to fall until 1990. This final falling became the most remarkable event considering that the epidemic was succesfully eradicated.

Overall, the tendency varied declined by 100 cases comparing the beginning and the end of the period. Interestingly,the peak of of the epidemic underwent between mid seventies and early 80s which the trend alteration happened every five-year.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Travel to and from UK and popular countries visited by BRITON [7]

Helooo fellas, long time no see :-). Please kindly need your comment on my IELTS task 1 paper

The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit.

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The two graphs illustrate the number alteration of British tourists travelled abroad with that of International visitors to the United Kingdom over a-20-year period between 1979 and 1999 and the 5 major countries were frequently visited by British inhabitants.

Overall, traveller from and to the United Kingdom rocketed in the 1980s and 90s. What is more, most of the journeys set up by the Briton overseas were to 5 countries only.

As per information, the former initially leveled at approximately 13 million before climbing up to six fold at the end of the survey period. By comparison, the latter number saw a slight different which was less than that of the British tourists in the beginning and faced identical yet less intensive trends, reaching approximately half as high by the end of the century.

A more closer look at the second bar chart reveals that It can be seen that while France and Spain become the largest numbers of British tourists with about 11 and 9 million visits respectively, Turkey was the least popular among the five, travelled by only around 30% as many British as France.

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Writing Feedback / Life is unfair; Big money for some modern artist while other struggle to survive [5]

Helooooo frens, Please kindly need your constructive input in my essay in terms of task response, coherence and cohesion, grammatical range and accuracy, range vocabulary.

Some modern artist receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while other strugle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Life is sometimes unfair. Broadly thinking, most people who work in art industry is usually associated with rich people. It is quite understandable knowing they sell their creativity in the right way. A huge number of artists can charge money easily from their job, while many others have to take pains to earn it. In a particular point of view, It is reasonable for some reasons and government should not actually be involved in this circle.

Generally, artist has to spend most of their time in a shooting location even in weekend. In term of making film, an actor or actress has to be ready working over time to complete his or her episodes based on film director's instructions, for instance, when the movie is in deadline as his or her already receive the salary in advance. The artist is already ready to acquiesce his meaningful time not to gather with his beloved family. Clearly, effort made is directly equal to the result that is why government no needs to prevent the artist from asking a high price for it.

In many respects, artist has spent much money and time in order to find and sharpen his or her talent by taking several professional training. In contrast, other people may just fully enjoy their time doing useless things instead of finding out their talent and focusing on it. According to some beliefs, spending time and keeping struggle on doing useful activities when we were young will guarantee our better future. Again, why must a government waste energy to overcome thing which is in step with nature law?

In summary, work ethic which belongs to a person and the effort made are two important factors which may influence a person success. Thus It seem useless for government to take steps to overcome such kind of problem. Moreover, there are many urgent problems that government should pay more attention instead of thinking over about this.