Writing Feedback / British who are from 65 and older between 1985 and 2035 - IELTS task 1 [3]

The graph chart illustrates the percentage of British who are from 65 and older between 1985 and 2035, measured in percentage.

The graph shows that in 1985, that both in UK and England, the percentage of population with age 65 and higher were equal to 15% respectively. In parallel, Scotland and Northern Ireland were considered to be the lowest with their percentage of 14% and 12%. The most salient in the graph, Wales managed to reach 16%.

According to the graph chart there will be a significant vicissitude when it comes to the percentage of all territory in 2035, it betokens that England and UK's percentage will be increased by approximately 8 % each. In the meantime, Scotland will increase it percentage for 11 %, while this value will be 2,5 % larger than the future Northern Ireland one's. Wales as usual will be leading with its remarkable 26%.

The data suggests that, as time goes by, British people are becoming more salubrious and that phenomena will prolong their life span.

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Writing Feedback / The only remedy for this problem, is to set up a more powerful law. Smoking and its aftermaths! [3]

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world.
Why should we be concerned about this?
What solutions would you suggest?

Smoking has always been a polemical topic, and no matter how much money our government allot to this smoking issue, people still keep smoking spontaneously. This occurrence can engender a nightmare for our young generation and it will jeopardize our society.

At the early stage of our life, we usually imitate our parents actions since they the only people around us who spend lots of time with us. This process is called imprinting. While, it is a wonderful thing to have because we might be able to obtain some positive habits from our parents, notwithstanding it can also work in a negative way. Envision yourself, being a credulous and ingenuous child, obviously you will copy your parents' behavior, but it might turn out that your parents are smokers. As a result, smoking should be utterly prohibited by all means.

Aside from influencing horribly on our offspring, smoking could be noxious and irritating for many individuals, including myself. This activity usually disturbs as from working properly, and causes many accidents such as burning house, cars and other means. For instance, assume that you are a painstaking worker who yearns to have a content environment, but unexpectedly, there is a folk who passes you by with a cigarette in his mouth, clearly you will be hampered from working. This can lead towards the poor outcome of work, which can be really frustrating. Therefore, the government must truly muse and weigh about this problem, otherwise they might face the repercussions.

In conclusion, this smoking phenomena must be taken seriously by the government or it will cause an abundance of troublesome issues. I reckon that, the only remedy for this problem, is to set up a more powerful law which will robustly punish those individuals who keep smoking without worrying about the consequences.

Any advice is welcome!

Writing Feedback / The data suggest that, as time goes by, more individuals prefer games software and DVDs over CDs. [4]

The chart illustrates the global sales of games software, DVD, CDs. Overall, we can see some substantial vicissitudes for DVD and games software since the total revenue obviously were erecting during in those entire 3 years of record, but not in CDs.

By looking at the graph, we can see that from 2000 to 2001 the games software increased its sales for approximately 2 billion dollars and the DVD for roughly 3 billion dollars, in sharp contrast to these 2 utilities, the CDS decreased its price for 1 billion dollars. Those numbers did not stop altering after 2 years, the total revenue of games software kept growing to 19 billion dollars and its partner DVD to more than 31 billion dollars, in the meantime, the CDs reluctantly dropped to 32 billion in 2003.

The data suggest that, as time goes by, more and more individuals prefer games software and DVDs over CDs.

I find it difficult to protract my essay when it comes to Writing task 1. Any advice would be appreciated!

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Writing Feedback / Drug is the thing that has always been prohibited in this world - Drugs and teenagers essay [NEW]

People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are expertimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example.

Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse

It has always been a polemical topic when it comes to drug abuse of young people. There are many reasons of why more and more people teenagers commence to utilize drugs, but the main 2 reasons are experiencing new things and parental control. This essay will discuss both reasons in great details, and at the end, it will be provided with panacea.

Youth time is the wonderful time that can never forget and it is the that we can reminisce for days. That is the point, when we yearn to experience every single new thing that exists around us. Drug is the thing that has always been prohibited in this world and from time to time we as human beings never want to be restricted especially when we are young and wild. Our modern society is also sometime encourage us to be polarizing and carefree, and thus , many people fall for the trap of drug abuse. As a corollary, the junkies in this have been increasing for many years.

Aside from aforementioned reasons, our society is getting more and more tied up these days. It requires people to continuously work without looking back and it can make a significant impact on youngsters sine their parents will not be able to meticulously look after them any longer due to this contemporary society. Therefore, lack of parental control also contributes to the increasing number of drug addict.

Unfortunately, there is no permanent cure for this issue, rather than rendering unto more lessons about drug abuse in school and other places to at least permeate teenager's mindset in a positive way.

Consequently, the only way for us to vanquish the drug abuse revolution is to provide more lectures and lessons to tune our young generation's mindset and hold our breath and just hope for the best outcome.

Writing Feedback / Coca Cola's sales numbers - Task 1 IELTs (pie) [2]

The pie chart illustrates the cosmopolitan distribution of Coca Cola's sales in the year of 2000 and the graph shows Coca Cola's share price in dollars from 1996 to 2001.

According to the pie chart of 2000, the total Coca Cola's sales number is 17.1 billion dollars. The product was the most desirable in North America since it occupies 30.4 percent of the pie chart. The following continents are Latin America and Europe which purchases 25,7 percent and 20,5 percent out of the Coca Cola's total revenue respectively. The last 2 continents are the modest consumers, Africa and Middle East, both have comparatively low percentage, specifically, 16,4 and 7,0.

There is a huge fluctuation when it comes Coca Cola's share price from 1996 to 2001. At the beginning, which is 1996, the share price was roughly 35 dollars. After that from 1996 to 1997, the price drastically increased to almost 70 dollars. Notwithstanding, the share price could not stabilize to mid-1997, it dropped to 60 dollars and then all of a sudden the price immensely rose from the mid-1997 to 1998 to approximately 85 dollars. From that point to 2001, the share price kept declining until 2000 , however it rose insignificantly from 2000 to mid-2000 compared to its best share price which is 85 dollars.

Any comments are welcome!

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Writing Feedback / Group or on your own! Safety is a huge issue. [2]

Travelling in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. Do you agree or disagree

Travelling has always been the thing that people tend to do when they have leisure time. While travelling alone has its own benefits such as privacy, freedom, notwithstanding those benefits do not worth to risk your life, and by travelling alone you will not be able obtain knowledge from other tourist which is a significant disadvantage since travelling is all about experiencing new things, new cultures. Therefore, I utterly support people who reckons that it would be better to travel with a group due to the aforementioned reasons.

Safety is a huge issue of travelling, especially if you travel to the underprivileged country. It has a penchant for having an abundance of robberies, since people who dwell there are usually starving and they have other choices but to rob someone for them and their family's survival. Envision yourself, being a poor individual and you are hungry, obviously if you notice some tourists with lots of cashes, then the likelihood of you snitching their cashes is quite high, of course, that behavior does not apply to every human being. As a result, travelling in a group is imperative to guard from thieves and other evil people.

Alongside the safety, travelling with enormous amount of people will help you gain more knowledge since you will encounter numerous personalities as well as perspectives. Side by side with additional knowledge, your comrades will be rendering you a vibrant atmosphere that you cannot be gotten, if you travel alone because people will commence to banter with each other and those memories can be unforgettable. For instance, assume yourself that you are travelling with many people, and this you will have somebody to interact, confess, tease which are quite pivotal since we are human after all.

Consequently, travelling with other individual can secure your safety and it also provides you with knowledge and a buoyant environment. Indeed, I definitely consent with the community which states that traveling with a group is the best option.

Writing Feedback / Snitching people! They are inclined to move to another country especially to the rich one. [NEW]

More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine.
Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world.

Do you agree or disagree?

These days, people inclined to move to another country especially to the rich one due to various factors. It can be because of the survivability since the majority of underprivileged countries cannot truly assess the knowledge that one possess and they tend to neglect or treat highbrows equal to lowbrows due to the financial issues. Therefore, I utterly support the second community which reckons this phenomena as a natural movement.

While knowledge has always been playing a key role on this planet, notwithstanding it does not apply for the poor countries since they have a penchant to worry about other things such as inflation, deficit, rather than about qualified individuals. Envision yourself, dwelling in underprivileged countries with high qualifications, blatantly your outstanding knowledge would not be noticed since they do not care of you that much as in wealthy countries, and thus you will not be able to absolutely shine when it comes to your domain. As a result, people from poor countries have a tendency to move abroad to display their knowledge.

Aside from showing off your knowledge, there is a huge number of qualified individuals, who cannot take care of their spouse and offspring as a corollary of living in a poor country because that type of country usually do not render bright people with some high-paid jobs. For instance, your family is quite poor and the country that you have been living in offers you some low-paid jobs or even ask you a favor but you have wondrous qualifications. Obviously, the only avenue for you to maintain your family survivability, is to seek for other places which can satisfy your demand.

So, the instinct of finding elsewhere to survive is our innate trait which we cannot get rid of and if the government intended to keep their qualified people for themselves, they should pay them more and create for them an opportunity to completely shine in their country. Indeed, I definitely consent with the second community which affirms that we move and find a job abroad instinctively.

Please advise me as austerely as you can !
Thanks for you attention!

Writing Feedback / The current energy sources that we use, contaminate our environment, as well as the mankind. [4]

Governments should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It has always been a salient topic when it comes to finding the alternative types of sources since the sources, which we are currently relying on are not everlasting and they are contaminating our planet. As a corollary, I completely support the community, which forces the government to seek for another sources that could surrogate the current ones.

There are numerous sources on this planet which are about to end such as oil, gas and without them, we will not be able to produce electricity. Electricity is the main source that our individuals utilize the most because the majority of our utilities require us to have electricity before using them. Imagine yourself, living as a typical contemporary person, you will have a phone, computers, laptops, lamps and all of them demand electricity. Consequently, finding another source of energy is indispensable, otherwise it would be inhospitable to live on this planet.

Along with the makeshift thing, the current sources that we use contaminate our environment as well as the mankind. For instance, cars or vehicle need petrol for them to operate and they usually pollute our atmosphere by emanating emissions also known as carbon dioxide. This can lead towards ailments and diseases for the humankind. Hence, the government need to immediately take actions to at least suppress those emissions and the most promising way to do so, is to search for another source of energy.

Thus, I have a robust belief that it is imperative for the government to take on the responsibilities of humankind and look for the substitutes for the current sources before facing the repercussions.

please list all my weaknesses :D

Writing Feedback / Experiences will aid you in various ways, but are no more sufficient for this contemporary world [3]

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.

how far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Qualification has always been a pivotal thing when it comes to having a good job with a proper salary. It is all about money after all in this world as far as I know. While it is a sheer a truth that experiences will aid you in various ways , notwithstanding they are not sufficient for this contemporary world any longer. This essay would discuss both these opinions in great detail and personal opinion simultaneously.

The majority of human beings these days have been attempting to pursue and obtain the best qualifications since most of the places require you to possess at least one qualification. It is still possible to have none of them, however the job which does not demand you to have one is usually quite a shoddy and disappointing one. In other words, the job requires no qualification usually Is a low-paid one. As a result it is indispensable to possess at least one qualification to daydream.

Alongside those aforementioned arguments, there is an abundance of individuals, who reckon that it would be better to gather or collect as many experiences as possible in the early stage to be adept at your future job. Part of this argument is correct, however if you do not study, you will not have enough knowledge to reach your dream job and without qualification, not many folks will even notice you because you need to be salient and there are already way too many lowbrows or who are in the scenario of living on this planet without qualification.

So, I completely concur with the community which affirms that qualification especially the university one is imperative to have since without it, you will not be able to be anywhere near a good job due to the knowledge that you must have and people's notion.

Please rate my essay! this is an IELTs one 9 points is the max point you can obtain from this task!
250 words are recommended by raters!

ieltsdotorg/pdf/Writing%20Band%20descriptors%20Task%202.pdf

Writing Feedback / Animals vs human needs; we should know how to protect the animals and suppress our avarice [2]

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It has always been a quite contentious topic when it comes to exploitation of animals, since there is an abundance of people who consider that it would be better to keep our animals safe. Yet, the rest of the community think in a completely opposite way. This essay will clarify both views as well as my personal opinion.

Animals are the most precious residues that have left on this planet because they are the beauty of our planet and it would be too cruel if we decided too simply take some actions against them. They are not everlasting creatures and should not use them excessively as tools to satisfy our needs. Imagine yourself if we will be able successfully utilize some animals to help us make some equipment. At first it might be fine, notwithstanding we as human beings are greedy creatures after all and I am pretty sure animals will be continuously killed by human since that method will be working. As a result, keeping our egregious animals away from those people right in the beginning would be the best option.

Alongside with the disapprovement of killing innocent animals, there are actually quite a number of benefits of sacrificing our animals. Without them we would never be able to reach this far especially when it comes to foods, medicines and clothes which are pivotal things for human survivability. For instance, the winter clothes are made mainly by the fur of animals, and I do not think it is feasible to live without such utilities in a cold country these days.

Therefore, I have to confess that even though it is necessary to get the most out of this planet especially animals to survive on this inhospitable planet. However, we should know how to weigh about the animals and hamper our avarice, since animals can be extinct in any split second if we begin to lavish them.

Hello guys this is my first IELTS essay so please check my essay austerely!:D

Writing Feedback / Living room has tremendous of contemporary technologies - Your favorite room. [3]

What do you consider to be the most important room in a house? Why is
this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific
reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Living room is the most important one when it comes to my house because It has tremendous of contemporary technologies that help me to shoulder lots of burdens and the living room allow me to freely exercise without worrying about space issue. Therefore, this essay will clarify the meaningfulness of my living room.

Almost every single utilities locate in my living room such as television and computer. Those technologies are essential for me since they help me to relieve my stresses and anxieties after a long day of working hard, doing my assignments, and communicating with my friends. To clarify, I always get an abundance of tasks from the university and thus Internet is my life savior because it always quickly provides me with numerous information of any topic. On the contrary, watching television is my main way to reduce my stresses due to its programs, Television shows, and music. The result is glaring, my living room is the ideal place where I can either entertain myself or doing my homework.

Along with those technologies, my living room is also the place where I exercise to stay fit and healthy because it is quite huge. It is quite important to do some exercises since sports will help you to be more creative and focused while studying. My daily routine is running, doing some push ups, and even dancing and they require lots of spaces in order to make my training more efficient. By way of example, imagine yourself having a giant living room and you fancy to exercise every morning and evening. As a result, my living room has become the most beneficial room since it can satisfy all my desires.

So, if I had to choose one room, then my choice would be the living room owing to the facts that it has plenty of technologies that facilitate and support my life in diverse ways. Aside from those technological supports, it is considerable huge and makes it easier for me to exercise. Consequently, my living room has a significant meaning for me.

Writing Feedback / Plants can provide food, shelter, clothing, or medicine. What is one kind of plant that is important [2]

Plants can provide food, shelter, clothing, or medicine. What is one kind of
plant that is important to you or the people in your country? Use specific
reasons and details to explain your choice.
Rice has always been played a pivotal role in Vietnam in diverse ways. One of its ways is our habits because rice has always been seen as the plant which is inherently connected to our daily meals and because of the rice our country has managed to control our economy. This essay will clarify all the mentioned above arguments.

Eating rice is one of our traditional behavior since rice is the main plant for human consumption when it comes to our country. Our people in ancient times did not have sufficient amount of foods to consume and rice was abundant and hence they commenced to eat rice in order to replace their eating desires. This behavior has been inherited by many young generations, even though there is an abundance of foods to consume instead of rice such as noodle, and bread. To clarify, imagine yourself being one of us, your most likely meal will definitely associated with rice since you look up to your parents and they do eat rice as their main food. As a corollary, rice is now part of us and it is almost impossible to consume our meal without rice.

Along with the conventional behavior, rice is the chief product for our country to export. Unfortunately, they are quite cheap and we cannot really obtain any considerable profit from them. However, our country is still underprivileged, technologies are beyond of our capacity and thus rice is the only plant we can temporarily make some profit to regulate our economy situation. By way of example, envision yourself a country which does not have anything except rice and some plants such as coffee and many others to sell. The result is quite glaring, rice are one of our essential product to befriend with our current financial situation

So, when it comes to our country, it is obvious that rice is the plant which is meaningful for our country owing to our economy state. Aside from the economy, rice also has become the one of our daily meal to consume since the ancient times.

Writing Feedback / Most of parents tend to consider their teenagers as too young and inexperienced to decide anything [3]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other
adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (15 to 18
year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support
your opinion.

The majority of parents tend to consider their teenagers as too young and inexperienced to decide anything, while part of the story is true. However, by obstructing them from decisions making can lead them towards immaturity and more importantly it can fence their talent and freedom. This essay will clarify all the mentioned above reasons.

Teenagers are the people who need freedom since it is the time when they need to gain more experience about the real world and thus if parents prevent them from making a decision, it will affect their teenagers in a negative way. By constantly deciding for them, teenagers will not able to find themselves and they will be lost. They need to find themselves in order to understand their own capacity. To clarify, imagine yourself being a typical teenager wanting to be a doctor because you are good at biology and chemistry, but your parents aspire you to become a businessman. The result is obvious if you listen to your parents, you will not able to truly expose your potential talents.

Aside from freedom, it will also prevent teenager to be a more mature person since once that type of teenager will step out of their 'home sweet home' they will feel insecure owing to the fact that their parents used to decide all the time. By way of example, envision yourself being a person who could not decide for himself during the time living with his parents and you have to make some important decisions when it comes to the upcoming contracts. As a result, you will not be experienced and mature enough to decide such important decisions since your parents used to do them for you during your childhood.

So, parents should not decide anything when it comes teenagers because it will hinder them from being a mature person and it will kill their freedom and sometimes even their innate talent as well. Indeed, I completely disagree that parents should always make decisions for their teenagers.

My old essay

Writing Feedback / Teacher vs student - it would be ideal if students had some opportunities to talk during the lecture [3]

TOEFL Essay: Some students like classes where teachers lecture (do all of the talking) in class. Other students prefer classes where the students do some of the talking. Which type of class do you prefer? Give specific reasons and details to support your choice.

It is imperative to allow students do some talking during the lecture due to the facts that it could be beneficial for their future especially their jobs and it will help teachers in many ways when it comes to judging and helping students. Consequently, I completely agree with those people who believe that it would be ideal if students had some opportunities to talk during the lecture.

Students sometimes need to talk during the double-period since it will prepare them for their future jobs. Most of the nowadays' jobs require a person to introduce their new ideas by explaining them in front of many people and thus practicing talking in the university will contribute students' future. Along with some practical experiences, it will also dictate students to correctly express themselves in order to make other students to understand the topic. To clarify, imagine yourself being a student who has a permission to talk in the lecture. After your graduation from the university, you will surely obtain an abundance of experiences of publicly talking. The result is obvious, by letting students to do talking in the lecture can consolidate their future in diverse ways.

Aside from some contributions to the future, talking in the lecture can also help teachers to easily identify students' weaknesses and strengths owing to the fact that teachers are going to be the people who will assess the performance of students. By constantly assessing students and their speeches, students will immensely improve when it comes to talking. By way of example, envision yourself being evaluated by your teacher after every single speech. You will obviously be able to learn from those remarks and thus your speech will gradually enhance. Therefore, by allowing students to talk in the lecture will facilitate the process of remarking for many teachers.

So, I definitely befriend with the second community which asserts that it would be better if the students talked in lecture because it will make students to be more prepared for their upcoming future and by doing so, it will make it easier for teachers to evaluate and help students with their speeches.

please check my essay thoroughly.
And more thing
this is a grammar question i wonder which one of these is correct?
Help me pay or help me to pay??

Writing Feedback / Some international student choose American roommates. Others choose students from their own country. [4]

Some international student choose American roommates. Others choose roommates from their own countries. Compare the advantages of having an American roommate with the advantages of having a roommate from your country. Which kind of roommate would you prefer? Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Roommates can greatly influence you since they are the people who are going to live alongside you and it is important to choose the right one. While American roommate can help you out in many ways associated with English but in the meantime roommate from your country is the only person who might be able to deeply understand you and your speech. This essay will explore the benefits and some cons of living with a roommate from your country as well as living with an American partner.

I have a strong belief that if you want to possess a high English communication skills and understand more about American culture then American roommate would be the best option for you. By living with this type of roommate, you will have to express properly in English in order to make him understand you, from-time-to-time he will correct your mistakes. In actuality, when it comes to English and no one can do it better than the real native speaker. Aside from having an additional teacher to fix your mistakes all the time, dwelling with American roommate can facilitate the process of understanding about America and its traditions and cultures. The benefits of living with an American roommate are obvious, if you had an experience with American people before, you would be able to adjust to American community faster.

In terms of living with roommate in your country, it actually has some benefits as well. That type of roommate usually will be able to understand you more profoundly since he also possesses the language that you have and sometimes the American roommate cannot understand you completely because it is quite challenging for us to truly and completely express our feeling through the foreign language. Even though, It does not apply to everyone owing to the fact that everyone has different level of English. The result is that living with roommate from your country can provide a better understanding with each other, which is quite crucial when it comes to living together for a long period of time.

All in all, I prefer to live with an American partner due to English and I would like to learn more about America and its traditions. Furthermore, I consider that living with a familiar partner is quite boring.